CAST:
Alex M. as Gex
Dani as Conker
Alex, Dee and Dustin as audience

CREW:
Written by: Dee:NV, Commander Jacob, Swoldow, Henry, ColeDaCole
Thumbnail by: Rabi
Beat produced by: Beatg33kz
Mixing & Mastering by: Freshy Kanal

Conker (Drunk):
Ok, hold on a second.

It’s time for me to put this softie in a coffin
You’re such a (hic) a... uhh… f$#k, I forgot it...
Ahh.. this s#@t's too wordy for me to handle..

Gex:
Alright, then I shall be the one to start this battle!
It’s Gex! ‘Bout to tail a fuckin’ squirrel
For a guy who's always drunk, dude you make me wanna hurl.
'Cuz you’re pathetic, an apathetic little twerp with no standards.
Who’s trying to stick his dick in Berri-

Conker (Drunk):
Hey! That’s not true, man (err)

Gex:
Show some manners, it’s the face of Crystal that you’re talking with
Charismatic, while you’re standing static on a falling ship.
It’s kinda Rare to see a game of yours that doesn’t get lost.
Just admit it, Conk buddy you’re Micro- soft.
You couldn’t be half of me if you tried.
Banjo stole the show and your legacy died.
So don’t step to me, guy. Keep your two tooth mouth shut
Actually, since you’re a squirrel, why don’t you chew on- these nuts?

Conker:
Ha, that’s funny. Shame all your other jokes are lame
It’s expected from some lizard who watches TV all day.
I’m a trash-talking vintage icon that people love.
While you ended up like Duke Nukem, pretty washed up.
So bow down to the king. Gaze upon the ching I bring
You licked your way to the top and still couldn't be a match for me.
I brought the world a new world and brought joy to other people
One game already blew up, I didn’t need a f$#ing sequel.
You needed 3 games yet no one remembers your name.
So I sure hope you enjoyed your 4 years of little to no fame (Ha)
We’re not the same, you’re a has-been with no profession
While I sip on this glass of milk, chilling with other legends.

Gex:
I’m locked and loaded, little rodent, best pull out your frying pan
Man, you’re not a legend, but that doesn’t mean you’re not dead.
‘Cus fact is, you’re a fad. Just a bozo with no class
So suck it up, drunko, this gecko just kicked your ass.

Conker:
You really think you can outmatch this soldier on the ring?
Dude, you're so full of s@#t, atleast the Mighty Poo can sing
I'm sure the fans wouldn't like to hear about your tragic past.
Let's just say, your franchise bombed harder- than your dad

Conker vs Gex. Season 1.5

Tricky vs. Pennywise - Royale Rap battle!

Swoldow as Tricky

AMONG US as Pennywise

Mixed by Oofie

Art by Limjj

Flowtest by ChandlerCCRB & Powerofdan 

Written by King ducky, GnomeYT, M&Mattie & E man

Writing assistance from GnomeYT, FutureFilmMaker, ChandlerCCRB, Javi-kami,  SuperGamerBro

Beat Prod. Anywaywell 

Tricky:
I’m facing a clown in a skirt? A new outfit’s what you need!
Not to worry though, I bet you’re used to being verbally bullied!
You claim that fear’s your game; your townies are scarier than you though
There's no way this clown’s beating me so crawl back into your den, bro (Denbrough)

Those yellow-raincoat kiddy films are as creepy as Coraline; you’re boring!
Even your short point and click game wasn't scary; it left me snoring!
After two weeks of your movies release, the franchise went back to being dead
Your sequel might be the only thing that drags on longer than that forehead!

Pennywise:
Hiya Tricky! You wanna play? I’ve got a really fun game!
It’s called: ‘Try to find fans that think your character’s great’ (none!)
Need to call Hank around, so you will stop sucking 
You'll only be remembered from Friday Night Funkin! (WAHA!)

I may be Pennywise, but my lines are Rich (ye)
Look at that stop sign and beep beep richie
Clean the gore and dull the edge (ay) I've seen more blood from Bev (ay)
Your Steam Engine doesn’t rev (ay) Forgotten like your game dev! (ay!)

Every twenty seven years, I am racking thousands of kills!
Might’ve faced a lot of combat, but you can’t top my b-b-battle skills
Oh, I’m sorry, did I s-stutter? I'm making this zombie pay the bill
This world-eating evil being achieved a body count that you never will!

Tricky:
Just because you shape shift, you think you’re powerful, scary, and heartless? 
Well why then when Losers show up they leave you battered and heartless?!
I'm leaving birthday clown’s bulb busted, since his flow’s a bunch of dead light
You’re such a pushover that's even how a bunch of children beat you in a fight!

It's pretty easy to see that your creator was high when making you
All that nose candy in his system must’ve left him floating too! 
If you think your winning this duel then, like Eddie, you're popping pills
This clown’s movies aren't scary only flooded with off screen kills

Your verse is INCOMPLETE…
A turtle can destroy you, while this clown has immortality!
This clown is KILLING THIS BEAT...
Drowning a sewer troll in my flow? I guess it comes naturally!!!

Pennywise:
Shut it Grunkfuss, I am done with your lazy, forced in lines  
Leave you shaking when you see me with or without an improbability drive
Started with no face, no words, no brain, and not a personality to see
Covering scars with a metal mask? Real original, Victor von Voorhees!

When I rock the boat, I’m flowing like it’s Georgie’s paper one
Peepin’ from the sewers to watch those skills go down the drain
I’ll leave you redder than my balloons by the time I’m done
So go and pray to Jesus, so he can slay you once again!

When it comes to killer clowns, I got more Street cred, so get the Sign!
Terrifying readers since '86, while you were an old meme online!
I’ve been slayin’ the game for decades; you've faded from the public view
There’s NO REASON to be resurrected after this CLOWN KILLS YOU! 
Hahahahaha!


Tricky vs. Pennywise - Royal Rap Battle! [ft. Swoldow] (AUDIO ONLY)

Frankenstein’s Monster:
LEGO set from pizzeria against me? In no mood to play!
I choke you with your own wires, this time you thrown away!
You don’t spit ill, ironic with fandom so toxic
Step to me, get neck snapped like toy, Foxy
Flow gold like Fredbear, I give you the death stare
Try to be terrifying, but map bots make people scared
We have characters with same names, is that coincidental?
But now ripping-off Jekyll and Hyde with a sun—I’m skeptical!
This monster leaves your FNaF World Glam-rocked
Toss you out like Bonnie and leave your mouth springlocked
It’s not ‘84, but you still come to me and bite?
Rule34 puts real meaning to “getting quirky at night”
I murder William in one night, I bring father to tears
You killed by William in one night, you can’t kill him for years! (raaah!)
Once upon a time, your game scary and eerie
Then people got confused because of gender and Game Theory!

Mangle:
Better fix your grammar if you want to fight this A.I.
Illiterate Shrek is nothing compared to my franchise
Damn right, you’re on candid camera, so sit tight
And I just might let you survive until the fifth night
You killed an innocent man and let the servant get slaughtered
Then you beg for a girlfriend, but she gets tossed in the water
Thought you’d get revenge on dad by killing Elizabeth
Well now I’m here, the one you shouldn’t have dissed!
Your lines are just like your clothes: old and shabby
While this hot-headed machine is spitting colder than daddy
In this battle you’re my Puppet because you’re no Music Man
Make lyrics that are less withered if you wanna join this band
Your story is complete trash, I’ll shove it in Chica’s beak
My timeline’s less complex than the reasons behind this freak
After listening to you, I can see why you were abandoned
You’re a Nightmare to your father who he wishes he kept dead!

Frankenstein’s Monster:
It’s shocking this machine still hanging around
Well this phantom not fantastic; my raps will burn you down
Be like Scott and retire ‘cause this battle make me tired
My story liked for years with no help from Markiplier

Mangle:
No amount of zapping could make this idiot bright
So quick to murder Henry, but no so quick with your lines
And when your enemy dies, you resort to suicide?
You've reached the very end, but you're not the victor, Frankenstein!

Cast/Crew:
SPM1000 as Frankenstein’s Monster
JesseBox as Mangle
Written by DonivideR & SPM1000
Mixed by Light
Beat by Marsad Men
Art and Cover by Grasman

Frankenstein's Monster vs. Mangle - Crazy Diss Wars

Ben:
Ring ring ring! Evie can’t pick up the micro-phone!
Her responses prove she’s dumb or deaf; can’t expect a good tone
But I guess I’ll be a gentleman and give her a turn
But if she’s as combustive as my chemicals, then she’s already burned

Evie:
Hello there Ben, here’s what I already know
Your verse sounds more ridiculous than you do in your own show
I’m a super advanced program that can answer any question
You’re a super forgotten app that will always be left in suspension
Breaking news! Ben’s legacy has been relegated to memes
It’s sad that you’re in spotlight now only because of Speed
And this text-to-speech will leave you more forgotten than Pierre
The only pictures you have are you ‘cause none of your friends care
But being another Talking app, I’m not surprised you manage to
Make everyone freak out and find you more sketchy than Angela

Ben:
Your website is only used by YouTubers for clicks
But they dropped you pretty quick and went bananas for a chimp

Evie:
Oh, why yes I like bananas, but you won’t like these punches
If you think you have any chance than you’re more baked than your lunch is
Gained my fame from my answers while no one wants to hear Ben talk
Used to be on every phone, but now only known from TikTok

Ben:
Ho, ho, ho! Don’t bother trying to lie!
Say you gained your fame, but it was handed by Jacksepticeye
You can wink and smile all you want, but I don’t think that matters
When you talk about parrots while you’re the one who prefers crackers!
Everyone got sick of you and moved on to your genderbent
Then not too long after that, the PewDieBot was used instead
Now everyone says “no” to any spin-off made by Existor
So I’ll see your defeat as the newest headline in the papers!

Cast/Crew:
RNG as Talking Ben
K.C. as Eviebot
Written by DonivideR
Mixed by Light
Beat by Tristan
Cover by Egg

Talking Ben vs. Eviebot - Crazy Diss Wars

Goner? More like Boner am I right?
Video link: https://youtu.be/x9pHqZgq2Uw
Trakked as Old Man Consequences
RNG as Goner Kid
Beat produced by Dated (Ill Advised Records)
Written by Trakked
Additional help by Zagranis and Worms
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Old Man Consequences:
Come and sit with me, kid, you’re lookin’ kind of down
This ain’t the underground kid, you’re in my land now
But don’t worry, you’ll be leaving safe and sound
So get your mind off of the future and come chill with me for now
You’ve gone far into the code but your speech is far from deep
Please, the only thing you’re doing is putting the fish to sleep
I suggest you change your mindset, you’re filled with thoughts of violence
And while you can barely talk, I sure know how to reel a line in
I can understand why most people wouldn’t want to relax with you  
You sure need that umbrella for your damned rainy-day attitude
I bet you miss the dock, but now you’re with me, and well,
We may try to talk but we both know there’s nothing else.

Goner Kid:
Have you thought about a world in which you’ve disappeared?
I’m gonna guess I’m in it ‘cause I see no disses here.
Ha.. You know, it frightens me that I might not exist
But at least I’m not a virus that fishes with little kids
You’re lost inside your own mind; your game world is a vacuum
And your minigame sucks the life out a player’s fun value
It’s tragic, but all of your so-called magic is gone
When you’re spending all your days lazing about on the pond
I would rather drown in it than talk to you for much longer
You hinder attempts at surviving and you think that I’m the monster?
You’re nothing, so I’ll come and scrap this awful bot from Cawthon
And I’ll make sure we fade away so we can both stay forgotten.

OMC:
Quiet down now, kid, you’re scarin’ the fish
What have I to gain rapping with one that barely exists?
I’m sorry to say that you have no way back to your home
But I’ll sit with you forever so you won’t decay alone

Goner Kid:
That makes me feel a bit better about my death
But I’m going on my own terms, so you should save your breath
Our time was unfortunate, you’re broken at your core
So when I reset the game you won’t think of me anymore.

Old Man Consequences vs Goner Kid - Rap Cypher #27

WoodenHornets as Charlie Chaplin
Light as George Lopez

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
GEORGE LOPEZ
VS
CHARLIE CHAPLIN
BEGIN

George Lopez:
Hey there chap, welcome to the George Lopez show
It’s time to see who’s the better comedian, bro
My show inspired the humor with generations decades to go
I heard you’re a-turd to sound, so I hope you enjoy my flow
I’ll ship this Woman back to Paris because you’ll never best me
What’s that smell? Something’s silent but deadly?
If I can take on Michael Jackson, then I sure can take on thee
If there was a biopic on who killed you, I’d be the main lead

Charlie Chaplin:
I’ve been ruling the silent film era, your show is not amazing
This stache says it all, I’ll dictate this battle greatly
A battle’s what you fancy? Well, I’ll make your stomach grumble
What’s even your race? Is this George of the Jungle?
ABC? More like LGB, I know you’re gay
So why don’t you haul your racist ass back to LA ?
I’ve got no hats off to you, if you try to diss me
You’ll no longer be a life “liver” cuz I’ll make this “kid-knee”

George Lopez:
Nobody watches silent anymore, it’s all about the sound
What’s that in your pants? I think I’m making Charlie Brown
I met up with Oona O’ Neill, and I made that bitch kneel
Your other wives were my Lo Rida, making me squeal

Charlie Chaplin:
“Why You Crying?”, George? Is it because I’m just better, sir?
When it comes to actors, the better Lopez is Jennifer
When I start Charlie Stabbin you, it’ll be black and white bleed
Your role in Sharkboy and Lava Girl was quite shocking indeed

George Lopez:
I’ll steal this victory like your corpse, you wretched little scamp
Look at all your wives, your life’s been ladies and the tramp

Charlie Chaplin:
You look like Guillermo Rodriguez got a few inches taller
So take a step into my museum, hope you enjoy the “color”


WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP *projector reel falls apart* BATTLE PARODIES

Written by: WoodenHornets, DeeNV, Investigateur

Charlie Chaplin vs George Lopez

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUSTGAMER! My dear friend JustGamer is turning 12 today so I decided to make this weird bullshit in like 2 hours to celebrate!

Beat by Soulker

Sandwich:
The sandwich is back, bitch, burning tracks with my rappin
I pack bread and this boutta be a stomp, call me Galactus
I’m not a strip of cheese so don’t cross me
You ain’t peanut butter, bro you can’t top me
You can call me an oven because I got heat
So make like your chef, suck on my ball meat
You were an olive branch to resolve a frantic brawl but got your ass beaten and squeezed 
Call you the U-pie-ted Nations, with how you fucking suck at keeping a piece
Your ass is temporary, I got more green than Larry
Yo mom’s a virgin so I got on top and popped her cherry

Pie:
It’s easy as pie beating this guy with heat on the mic that you can’t diss
Call me Anakin Piewalker, I don’t like sand…wich 
Thought I was pie but your mindset’s irrational
Your formula’s recipe for disaster, bro
If I wanted sand I’d head to Laguna
I’ve seen better “witches” from Konosuba
I’m layered, I’ll flame ya, you’re gayer, ask Gamer 
He ate ya, I’m gangster, like Psytube, I lift weights bruh
So call me the Pied Piper, attracted your girl and I might pipe her
Now call this a hot take but you and I aren’t equal writers

Sandwich:
You’re calling me gay, bro, you’re literally a fruit pie 
You’re a stupid worthless piece of shit, I’m glad you died
There’s too many cooks in the kitchen, too many sandwiches? Nah man you trippin
I’m appearing just to celebrate special occasions
Your death is one bitch so let’s get it 

Pie:
You know my raps fly
Strapped up with ammo, I’m a mag pie
I can’t die
I always come back like I’m William Afton I got the FNAF rhymes
Now pie’s charting, I’m a hustler, I make it rain, feel the burnin pain
Now before I go I got one last thing to say…

JustGamer's Sandwich vs Kirby's Pie - Inside Rap Battles of Obscurity [GAMER DAY SPECIAL!]

YDGeon as Jackie Chan
TimeLord as Karate Kid
HyperJacob96 as Mr. Miyagi

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
DANIEL-SAN
VS
JACKIE CHAN
BEGIN

Jackie Chan:
Before facing off the legendary fighter Jackie Chan
Take a few notes on how not to fight from Mr. Danny-San
I can beat you in less than a Rush Hour, try my Drunken Style, dog
If I can take down Don Cheadle, then this won't be very hard
Your stances are so bad, it’s like a Tekken fighter left on idle
You’re such a boring character, they should make a show about your rival
Some Chinese bullies left you sore? My raps are a verbal Hiroshima
So if you’re begging to be put down, I won’t hesitate to beat ya

Daniel-San:
Ever since my beginning’s, I’ve been told to fight with peace
But…. YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET A PIECE OF ME
I may need some assistance, but I just go solo, you know bro?
Come face me alone, yo, in the dojo you homo
Jackie Chan Adventures? I prefer Mike Tyson’s Mysteries
I belong in a hall of fame, what’s even your history?
You’re a Bruce Lee copy paste right down to the foot work
I nearly fell to my death from a cliff, I would’ve let you drop you jerk

Jackie Chan:
WATCHA! Got so many asian tricks for this Karate Kunt
I’ll back flip kick the 4th wall to tell you I did my own stunts
A cracker appropriating Chinese culture? What’s up with that?
No matter, I’ve got the moves and grooves to make your head go SPLAT!
Try to land a hit, I’ll reflex a blocker, Daniel-San
You look like a pussy and smell like Cocker Spaniel dog
Come flying down my rap trail, it appears you’ve met a dead end
No wonder you bombed, you sport Imperial Japan on your headband!

Daniel-San:
No more “Mr. Nice Guy” I can’t let him have his way
But we must defend our honor, so come kill his ass, sensei!

Mr. Miyagi:
I’m always on the run when Daniel-San gives me a call
You can wax on, wax off my damn balls
With my crane kick there’s no way you could stop me
Drop a gotcha cocky block, see, Mr Miyagi nagasaki
You’re like one of those flies I’ll chop stick to death
Jackie Chan going hi-yaw spreads that nasty noodle breath
With how much Jackie cries, sounds like he needs his mommy quick
Am I going too hard? I don’t really give a Karate Shit
My movies are beloved, while yours only spur a sigh
I’m gonna leave this snake behind, call it Cobra Bye

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC *HI YA* RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Jackie Chan vs The Karate Kid

Dr. Dee as Purple Guy
B-Lo as The Grey Man

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
THE PURPLE GUY
VERSUS
THE GREY MAN
BEGIN

Purple Guy:
1, 2, 3, 4; 5 kids on the floor
6, 7, 8, 9 games packed with chilling lore
Show you the door, give you some more
Straight to the core, blood and gore 
To put all the fright in the kids and adults
There’s only one name that can cause all this horror
It’s PG, killin’ 13, making this battle R
You look, 6, 10, 12, tell us what the fuck you even are
PG’s showing LSD who’s the greatest MC, fuck it
I’ll drop the A in FNAF, leave you Friday Night Funkin

Grey Man:
You brits have a thing for being awfully obnoxious
What will you do, use the scooper? just like your children you botched it
(Yeah you botched it) So knock it off, bitch. When Willy sees me he’ll fall
I gave birth to nightmares, you gave birth to a hentai doll
You can’t strike fear in me, I’ve got that Japanese made flow
Against the most uncaring purple father since Thanos (Oh snap)
I’ll phase through your robots, this time no suit will come in clutch
Nah, I haven’t seen a brit get pussied out this quickly since truss

Purple Guy:
You stand idly in the distance, what makes you think you’re fucking scary?
Fact is, what am I even doing here? This matchup makes me a bit wary
Think about it, I’m known for being the face of Fazbear’s scares
And I’m packed with shittons of lore, while this dude just kinda stands there
Stop your heart with a click.
See the face. of a criminal (iminal)
What the fuck’s even your shtick
That shit’s… really pitiful (itiful)
And what the fuck’s even that verse? I really don’t fucking care
Why the fuck am I still here?! I’m leaving!

Phone Guy:
Hello? Are you still there?

Grey Man:
Haha, now you’re stuck because you don’t know shit about me
You’ll be trapped in this rap battle nightmare for all eternity
So let’s dance, give the audience something to rant about
When you see me in the dreamscape you’ll just want to cry and shout
Wait- what is this? Where’d he go? Why am I rapping against a phone?
This is truly such a shame, it seems I've been left alone
I need an outing, I need a reason to stop this rhymin’
I’m gonna go hang with Lucy… in the Sky with Diamonds

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC…
*phone rings* Hello? Are you still there?
NO HE'S GONE
Oh, ok
....RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Purple Guy vs The Grey Man

Happy 10 Years of ERBParodies!

Mr. Jay as Cole Phelps
Nathan Provost as Vault Boy

Lyrics:
[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY
VS
COLE PHELPS
BEGIN

Cole Phelps:
Hello Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, no wonder daddy ran away
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, I'm from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
To unlock the door, but instead you use a lock pick and a cord
Ouch, ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the boat, eat irradiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton
You're a vilified villain, Imma take you in
Have you freakin' question by my partner Herschel Biggs

Vault Boy:
My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying presence
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz
All my companions make everything easy
And guess what, none of them hate me
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk
Nuka Cola, Sarsaparilla, drinking Victory
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree
I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
Stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm

Cole Phelps:
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise
Doing what I do makes me cha-ching
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

Vault Boy:
Oh please, you got washed out your ass
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, I did, now go squeal

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps

This is a sequel to the rap battle I uploaded a while back, the second in the Epic Rap Battles of White Station series.

Charlie Chaplin vs George Lopez

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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