**BEAT BY BEN MAKER**

jrhguy? more like washed up n cross eyed
had to pay samantha sin to call you cute, but she lied
i saw you wigglin in that video and you tried to hide
but your cum and drool were drenchin you, a mess when they collide
how many times you been fwooded, how many times have you crashed
how many times has your mom had to come and wipe your ass
you always try to turn the corner, but you can't escape the past
and even if you're moving forward, cripples can't go that fast
and you can't smile because you got some condition
but i wouldn't smile if i were you, i admit it
how many times in your pants have shitted? have you pissed in?
your face lookin like it went through nuclear fission
your left and right sides disagree, that's quite a division
a retard with a degree because of equal rights admissions
wrecked by kong, wrecked by l0de, no friends in life, all alone
except for special care workers who check up on you at home

nobody loves you
nobody's loved you
not your mom, not a girl
and with a face like yours
literally no one in the world
NOBODY LOVES YOU
nobody loves you
nobody loves you
not your dad, not a dude
and if i looked like that
i'd fuckin sue Lord Vishnu
NOBODY LOVES YOU

you got designer slip-on shoes cause you can't tie your laces
people want to leave when your family brings you places
the hand that you were dealt was all jack, no kings or aces
do you get depressed when you see normal faces?
in your own mind you're a god, but your family's digraced
they wish they left you in rural india to be displaced
they tried to say that they found you so that you could be replaced
then they put you in a dumpster and they said that you were waste
that 2hundo thousand condo that you had up in chi town?
was a special care facility you street-shittin clown
i'll exempt you from not being kicked while you're down
and i'll piss on your body while you seizure around
you say you can't smile, but we know you can cry
your sister told us that when you got fired the first time
have you looked in the mirror and asked ganesh why
he had to give you such a shitty life? kill yourself dabguy

Nobody Loves You (dab diss)

BEAT BY B-REX

load the clip, a finger on the trigger
not on the hip, against my head (go figure)
the clip falls out and my head gets bigger
invincible i'm feelin but shine gets dimmer
i act so holy, but deep down i'm a sinner
got enough money but i keep stealin my dinners
i'm in pretty good shape, but my whore, yeah she's thinner
she spends all of her money on that china white sniffer
i'd tell her to stop, but i'm also her flipper
break it down, cut it up like i was jack the ripper
if she tries to run away, best believe that i'll git'er
yeah, i'll git'er git'er done, that's a promise i'll deliver
git'er done, git'er done, 4 3 2 1
the clip is back in, i'm at your door with the gun
went to a gun deal and bought one just for fun
now gimme all your shit these bullets can't be outrun
-
when i'm alone, laying in bed
trapped in my head, i know i'm stuck again
same cycle of shit, it never seems to end
i turn to my gun, my gun's my best friend
-
my positive outlook went out like a crook
and all the positive lines were torn out of the book
slid across the world back n forth like a rook
drugs weren't my thing, but pussy? i was hooked
bad situation after bad situation
just so i wouldn't be alone, common sense on vacation
crime addicts, jail birds, junkies, mental patients
couldn't find the remote, so i couldn't change stations
i didn't do crime to survive or even get by
i rolled with drug dealers, but it wasn't my vibe
feeling lost, feelin different, feelin like i live i lie
flirted with suicide, but did i really want to die?
i turned that anger outwards and took it out on others
just to come home to my IRC sisters and brothers
got a smile on my face, but the pain can't be covered
like a never-ending flame that will never be smothered
-
when i'm alone, laying in bed
trapped in my head, i know i'm stuck again
same cycle of shit, it never seems to end
i turn to my gun, my gun's my best friend

GUN DEAL

## late submission to the LRH contest... an ode to one of EFNet's Top Chatters - BLACK_MAN
## beat by @beefcarver (soundcloud)

*LYRICS*
Strikes fear in the hearts of the cowards and rats 
Only here to engage in high level chats 

-CHORUS-
BLACK_MAN BLACK_MAN enters the chan 
Should be opped, but not because of affirmative action 
Graciously gives EFNet what we've been lackin 
Wanna talk a out Top Chatters? Let's talk about BLACK_MAN

-VERSE 1-
And while we all sittin here full time chattin 
BLACK_MAN part time, full time crypto stackin 
Could he be an alt? Our minds been racked with 
Thoughts like "is BLACK_MAN even black, man?"
The worth of 4 rims on BLACK_MAN's car 
Is worth more than 1 year of LRH's patreons 
Plus all of the change in Dwaine's glass jar 
And JRRA's wallet, BLACK_MAN goes hard
Everyone one of his houses has a 50 metre pool 
3000+ women have played with his jewels 
BLACK_MAN too sleek, BLACK_MAN too cool 
BLACK_MAN got 5 degrees without finishing school 
So who are we to judge BLACK_MAN?
Best be careful or he might put you on blast, man 
Dox on dox like stacks on stacks, man 
Got more info than the fuckin tax man 

-CHORUS-
BLACK_MAN BLACK_MAN enters the chan 
Should be opped, but not because of affirmative action 
Graciously gives EFNet what we've been lackin
Wanna talk a out Top Chatters? Let's talk about BLACK_MAN

-VERSE 2-
BLACK_MAN BLACK_MAN enters the chan 
Silence all around except for his biggest fans 
Single handedly dismantled the KU KLUX KLAN 
Impregnated their wives, now their kids are BLACK_MAN's.
BLACK_MAN knows ALL and expels the myths 
Educates us on how to pleasure women and shit
He says don't even bother searching for the clit 
The female orgasm simply DOES NOT EXIST.
Takes down common enemies like TOM PASK 
What happened to the others? Best to not ask.
BLACK_MAN doesn't hire cause he kills on his own 
Did I mention that he owns 5 vacation homes?
Sometimes I wish he wouldn't pick on Dwaine 
But then I remember, yeah, Dwaine is insane 
So I watch BLACK_MAN tear down the facade 
So... If BLACK_MAN defeats Dwaine... Does that mean BLACK_MAN is GOD?! 

Strikes fear in the hearts of the cowards and rats 
Only here to engage in high level chats 
IQ 230, the highest ever recorded 
We should be paying BLACK_MAN but we could never afford it

BLACK_MAN

** BEAT by the almighty Xartet https://soundcloud.com/embarrassfunction/ **

WHAT ANIMAL ate a dead turtle in the woods?
and got himself a parasite, shit, that's never good
it cost me $300, but it got him what it should
He lost about 15 pounds, but he withstood
WHAT ANIMAL ate 6 entire ears of corn?
the entire hull and cob, RIP, let us mourn
back to the vet, sick to my stomach, i was torn
but he threw it all up, and then he was back to norm
WHAT ANIMAL ate 48 pieces of candy
made of the darkest chocolate, pure insanity
poison for the bol, but that's not news Jason Bandy
threw it up all over the new couch, but that's my man B

jaws of steel, head of rhino
what's his name? you know and i know
85 pounds, but mostly head and chest
he's not a good dog, nah dawg, he's the best

P for my protector
U for U don't want none
M for maul your ass down
P for pussy, come and get some
B for Bull, run you down
U again, U gonna die
L for leave you limbless
L again for loss of life
PUMPBULL keeps it gangster
PUMPBULL don't take no shit
i tell him to calm down
but he bites me in the dick
PUMPBULL misunderstood
but PUMPBULL a fuckin beast
PUMPBULL sittin good
so PUMPBULL gettin them treats

jaws of steel, head of rhino
what's his name? you know and i know
85 pounds, but mostly head and chest
he's not a good dog, nah dawg, he's the best

PUMPBULL

**BEAT & PRODUCTION BY B-REX**

Lyrics:
in 1995 I met a kid named zero cool
hollywood sold me a story of his hacking, I was fooled
big arcades and roller blades, cool nicknames, and cyber babes
saw Angelina Jolie's nipple slip out and I drooled
now, who wouldn't want that life? shit - I could change my grades!
alter all them C's and D's to perfectly straight A's
it was all laptops and crop tops and mad props but no stops
so then hacking on the Gibson I thought was the only way
i started asking jeeves - where do I start, what's the story?
my bowl cut wasn't cutting it and I wanted all that glory
to get some chicks to touch or lick or let me stick my little dick
anywhere they'd let me, had no standards, I was horny
jeeves led me to warez, and from warez to IRC
emulators, roms, porn and cons, yeah you know what I mean
my sickest hack from that way back was not in fact an attack
YEAH BITCH I changed the background of my windows loading screen - WHAT!

ZERO COOL AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME
I CHANGED THE BACKGROUND OF MY WINDOWS LOADING SCREEN
HE AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME, NONE OF YOU GOT SHIT ON ME

fast forward now to 27 years later - SHOUTOUTS vap0r
from bowl cuts to long hair to cult cuts - HELLO HATERS!
haven't hacked a thing, but i'm cookin songs with b-rex like it was crack
from BLACK_MAN to GUN DEAL but we still screamin... SHOUTOUTS TO PHRACK
i remember when EFNet reached 100,000 chatters
it was likely mostly bots and alts, but shit, that doesn't matter!
from mirc to hex to irssi on a vps, rdns
from disconnect to connection, znc to screen, but i digress
and now i tmux a to irssi, chatters beggin' "PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"
secret chats, receivin packets, since my early teens to my late 30s
i'm flyin off the handle, big mouse pad, ascii vandal
got the heads of all my enemies from past beefs on my mantle
i ain't poppin any shells, i ain't cnc'in packets
those are weapons of my fellow peers cause i stay strictly chattin
who says you need those hackin skills to pay off any bills?
deception is a weapon - i heard social engineering kills.

ZERO COOL AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME
HE WASN'T CHATTING ON IRC
HE AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME, LIKE ACID BURN HE SITS DOWN TO PEE

ZERO COOL AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME
HE AIN'T GOT B-REX CHEFFIN UP THEM BEATS
NONE OF YA'LL GOT SHIT ON ME, PENIS PUMP, YOU CAN SUCK MY D

ZERO COOL AIN'T GOT SHIT ON ME

garyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

I remember the sound of the hard drive spinnin 
2am, 56k, i was grinnin' 
Takes me way back to how it was in the beginning 
Windows 95 loading for 20 minutes 
Thick keys that push back, man i love that feelin 
A modem that could sing when it connects, it was thrillin 
What a time to be aliiiiiivveeee... on the Internet chillin

YouTube Ripped at 320 kilobits 
He wanted three for the beat but i ain't paying shit 
I got a dick he can suck, and an ass he can lick 
95 windows smashed with bricks, i plead the fifth
When the beat drops, the nostalgia hits 
I've spent most my life chatting, that I'll happily admit 
But i need more time to be a degenerate
IRL has taken over, ain't that some bullshit
Now, I'm chanting Hare Krishna, holy man on the set 
Drug and alcohol free, but i still love the Internet 
No more noise from the modem, but i know that it connects 
Wired to wireless, kila to gigabits 
While IRC has changed, well, it's kinda stayed the same 
Opers still wanting fame, jupers still takin names
Ddos still denying, packets still flyin,
And everyone still calling each other gay

I remember the sound of the hard drive spinnin 
2am, 56k, i was grinnin' 
Takes me way back to how it was in the beginning 
Windows 95 loading for 20 minutes 
Thick keys that push back, man i love that feelin 
A modem that could sing when it connects, it was thrillin 
What a time to be aliiiiiivveeee... on the Internet chillin

Shoutouts to secret chans on them secret networks 
Shoutouts to #infrared, we always do the best work,
Shoutouts to opers who are easily asshurt 
And Shoutouts to chat girls for giving us that wetwork
Tryin to meet with sayjay so i can get that neck work 
And meet with milkness so i can see that chest work 
And meet with BLACK_MAN to increase my net worth 
And cop a PENIS PUMP to increase my net girth

I remember the sound of the hard drive spinnin 
2am, 56k, i was grinnin' 
Takes me way back to how it was in the beginning 
Windows 95 loading for 20 minutes 
Thick keys that push back, man i love that feelin 
A modem that could sing when it connects, it was thrillin 
What a time to be aliiiiiivveeee... on the Internet chillin

gary95

-Dark Mage Chat Rap from Logs (Cover by Eraser)-
Ay, name's astra` but you can call me the mad chatta / sitting atop of the realest nigga's ladder
She's fixing hard drives and got linux books in stacks / She don't fuck with drugs but she wants to relax
During the day she's a nurse in Japan / But she's not an Asian and she's not a man
Real ones don't understand that she's got a master plan / Terrorize the population with whatever's in demand
Pack up explosives air tight in a can / Light that shit and throw it at a police van
Advocate for terrorism / Maynard may have raped children, call it brain schism
It is whatever it isn't / Oh my god darkmage i know you didn't
* darkmage drops the mic


-LOLMAGE-
let me give you a beat so you can groove to it
couldn't stay on that shit if you were glued to it
don't think i'm stupid, we're both new to this
but i didn't idolize a nazi that is jewish
so
claws to the wall, let's not get involved
or i'll have to fuck you up like your znc install
maybe i'll give you a call at your job where you ball
and ask for the prices of your large and smalls
with all the toppings, but no pepperoni
you ain't get no bitches so you pepperlonely
you one-handed phoney
you like my little pony
and smoke now, so you stoney
F U and your cronies WOWWWWW
and your mama snitch on felons
how far did you fall from the tree, there ain't no tellin
are you datin toohighto? cause you both always yellin
by the way - how the treatment for the bed bugs be smellin?
don't get me wrong, i hope your raps go far
like your mama when she took off with your car
i'm an IRC superstar they say i chat super hard
do yourself a favor and quit the chats tomorrrrrrrow

lolmage

ayo darkmage - we ain't even on the same page 
the reason people checked your song out was cause they saw my name 
now let's be honest, your rap shit is whack kid 
can you even code at all? Or are you just another skid? 
yeah I listened to your song, I got bored and it was weak... 
and i.... I fell asleep! 
at least give me a challenge, you ain't reaching for the sky 
you'd be better off seeking a battle with dabguy 
what was that? I couldn't hear you - speak up a little bit 
you're running out of breath for every line that you spit
seems like you need to take a break, so have a seat
and let me tell you a little bit about me 
see that slash names list? See that @ next to my name?
that means that I'm your daddy - slow down stay in your lane 
i got channels and networks that steady highlighting my fame 
but you jerking me off still and I haven't even came 
you a special type of person that I can't fucking stand 
don't even act like you can, you're three quarters of a man 
i got all of my fingers, arms, legs, but not my teeth 
you got a part time job where you work 3 days a week 
slangin pizza on the side, mama mage stole your ride 
and you living in a tin can, and those three girls are a lie 
and even if they weren't, your girlfriend is your hand 
and maybe you mama, your uncle, or your aunt 
you can write 300 lines and I could write ten 
but the end is the same - I embarrass you again 
i wasn't born on a mic, but I made it my bitch 
slimer fucked you before jail - Are you sure you weren't the snitch? 
let's examine this shit, even weev gave you a dis 
that's like being called a loser from dried up dog shit 
so fuck all your songs and your egg shaped head 
i cooked them crab claws once, I see they're back from the dead 
but no matter my friend, because this ain't for pretend 
so take your spoken word raps and shove em up your rear end 
HAPPY FRIDAY - LRH ENN 
my name is eraser... don't make me kill you again!!!

The Crab Cookout

I stole this beat from a YouTube page, I'm all the rage 
And I'm young at heart, but my hairline says I'm old age.
Still I'm flashing, chattin, passioned, fashioned, 
Yeahhhhh cause I got what you be lackin.
Chilling here with pumpbull,
Making sure them old heads and young bols 
Get their ears full.
Creep through the streets, i'm light on my feet 
Heavy on the beat, one two and a three.
My clique can't be beat, you face your defeat 
If you step to them, or worse, step to me.
But tonight, we relaxing -
No warfare, only hard chatting.
Got the can_flood, pump like a captain.
Line after line pushed out like I'm crappin.
I see I sendq'd a few, man what happened?
EFNET - Port80 
Ride with us now - Are they crazy?
EFNET NEWS - PENIS PUMP 
We the best out, shake your rump 
And we run this town. 
Nigga what?
Yeah you heard me clown, 
Pay it up

So don't be mad when you see us chat
We'll push you back; modems snapped in half.
And don't you try any ddos attacks...
Our troll tactics will have you quit like THAT!

And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse,
Well There went the chorus, here comes the second verse.
I keep going, flowing, ain't no slowing,
Yeahhhh And these channels don't be knowin 
When I come on the scene, business what I mean, 
Call me Mr clean cause I wipe the screen.
It burns when I pee, maybe STD?
You see what I see? Drippy dick for me.
T-rex is a G, reviews them asciis,
Holds them upside down, fuck it, let him be!
It's a crazy world outside,
So I stay and chat inside.
Don't need any kind of sunlight. 
Slam these chiclet keys til I die.
And for the top chatters in the sky, 
We hold your memory in megabyte.
And for the pussy ones,
Who run and hide,
Suck your fucking thumb... 
Nigga BYE

So don't be mad when you see us chat
We'll push you back; modems snapped in half.
And don't you try any ddos attacks...
Our troll tactics will have you quit like THAT!

Impulse

**SHOUTOUTS TO RAZOR BOOMERANG FOR THE MUSIC!! CHECK THAT AHK OUT ON SOUNDCLOUD!!**

-LYRICS-
just another day on IRC
been chatting since i was 14
line popper if you know what i mean
motherfucker i'm the king of the keys
so step back maggot
i'm a chat addict
when to rehab once
now i'm back at it
hair's falling out
and my teeth are jagged
don't got nice shoes
and my clothes are ragged
step back cause i got them packets
skinny as hell but eat like a fat kid
lean and mean, pumper, i jack it
mp3s, fuck all that flac shit
old school fool, got a starter jacket
i kill the chats, you could say i whack it
complex password, you can try to crack it
if a girl in the chat, i'll try and mack it.

found this shit through AOL
opened up a piece of leet warez mail
town center can go to hell
and down the IRC hole i fell
never did i think
20 years later
i'd be on here still
with my nigga vap0r
making music tracks
stacking crypto paper
got that OVH
come and and ddos me, haters!
b-b-b-break it down
s-s-s-slow it down
man i'm just kiddin
let's g-g-get it now
with all these channels who needs a friend?
i love that i've seen nance's rear end
file serves, DCC sends
and another CTCP version
!list searchin
infox 40 year old virgin
dipshit dabguy can't comprehend
oper steve shoving needles into his skin

LRH
ENN
P-P-P-PENIS PUMP
until the fucking end...

Path of the Chat v2

**Beat by Ben Maker**

*eraser*
I've shared a lot of great memories
between me and these computer keys.
When life brought me to my knees,
I made my second home in front of the screen.
I know how sad it seems, pathetic I mean,
but at least i wasn't on the streets puffing on weed,
sucking on the dick of Billy Jean
for the drugs I never wanted.. and didn't need.
Nothing is ever as it seems.
Go ahead and flex your specs they mean nothing to me.
What does it all really mean?
Socially inept, unaware, and unseen.
PENIS PUMP FOR LIFE! Jus me and my henchmen
known network wide and in other dimensions.
People IRL try to get my attention
but they can't hilight me; I can't see any mentions.
They always call me up, askin me "are ya done yet?"
Nahhhhh... Not til they cut my electric.

So as the world flies by, I keep my thoughts inside
Until I sit and pass my time by with my friends online.
Channels and cliques, bans and kicks, fat chicks,
chicks with dicks, this shit is so sick...
But no sicker than the outside, so I'll stay and chat online.

*vap0r*
efnet cream of the crop, we never stop,
chattin since our balls dropped, feelin em plop
here it is, another rap about where we come from,
unwanted like a hemorrhoid or just like a dumb son
come one, come all in fact,
the more the merrier the rough the scarier,
im in a harrier, i can see all your shit,
upon request get up in line and see all my dick
im the opposite of E i like to do all the drugs,
puking up molly giving bear hugs,
i like bare rugs, smooth like a shemales taint,
a tough face they got a tough guy you aint
finger to the k/b you'll always see me
buildin up efnet like a seabee
scroll ur irc til ur old pc
smoke like a vape while u hear E sing
P p 4 l , we do i r c well
Hemmed up we never tell
Lots did we never fell

*eraser*
people say this isn't life, but i beg to differ
our rep up in the stars call us the big dipper
if you got a mom best believe I'll get with her
young broads are old news, i like my girls stiffer
IRC is full of autists and cripplers,
recluses, stalkers, and panty sniffers,
but i'm an equal opportunity heavy hitter
i'll be here til the end eatin ircops for dinner

*vap0r*
So many came through this shit with no imprint 
Youll remember us when we’re hell-sent
cant expect your legacy to glisten
if you end up flat on your back smokin crack with no pot to piss in

So as the world flies by, I keep my thoughts inside
Until I sit and pass my time by with my friends online.
Channels and cliques, bans and kicks, fat chicks,
chicks with dicks, this shit is so sick...
But no sicker than the outside, so I'll stay and chat online.

vap0r & eraser - Memories

*vap0r*
a lot of things been on my mind im feelin fine i never whine
i feel my spine begin to bind im feelin blind to my own kind
when i rewindi seem to find that i aint kind between the eyes
so then i fly up in the sky before i die with all you guys
i put the safety on until im safely gone so i dont end it
put ur head into a box and send it right after i blend it
things i wish and dream about watch u twist and scream and shout
because the pressure in my skull is something i cannot surmount
the path i took is blurry curvy fuck ur god for what he served me
never do it all again id rather die inflamed with scurvy
both the people that made me are dead
that'll tend to fuck with your head
take the good with the bad they all said
so im laying down in my made up bed
noone said it would be easy she would rather kill me than please me

you're not alone when you're inside the zone
in a place of pure distaste hesitate to blow off your dome
cause me, my name is V and he, his name is E
we hate our lives too but we dont hate you so stay alive for us please

*eraser*
i been working out some dark shit in my mind
how i feel inside, sometimes i want to die
sometimes no reason at all, but sometimes, most times
it creeps in from the side, i try my best to hide
so i don't inflict collateral damage
i got a girl at home, and she got two kids
got a dog, got a job, but still my head slips
i wonder what went wrong, what i left undid
was it the girl i left with the addiction
who had a love for cocaine, and then prescriptions
and from there to the needles, to a deep sickness
that left her dead in her bed, lifeless and rigid
went from carrying her home, to carrying casket
flowers in baskets, food for the maggots
what could i have done different, could it have lasted?
i guess it doesn't really matter, cause it's the past, kid.

you're not alone when you're inside the zone
in a place of pure distaste hesitate to blow off your dome
cause me, my name is V and he, his name is E
we hate our lives too but we dont hate you so stay alive for us please

*vap0r*
your life sick, well mine a-lil-sicker
my wife gonna ru-in my-ticker
the end of my tunnel, it dont flicker
shits a complicated web wo-ven like wicker
pick her up then drive away 
to another place another state
another fate than what she had chozen 
do i burn her body or leave her ass frozen

*eraser*
i tell myself all the time i really love this life
but feeling empty inside, i'm tired of the strife
i would rather feel nothing than to feel the knife
from the stress and depression of just getting by
should i have stayed in school, should i have kept the friends
that always used me as a tool to help meet their ends?
i'm always feeling alone, and always stuck in my head
always wishing i had done something more instead.

you're not alone when you're inside the zone
in a place of pure distaste hesitate to blow off your dome
cause me, my name is V and he, his name is E
we hate our lives too but we dont hate you so stay alive for us please

vap0r & eraser - what went wrong?

I was pushing out them shopping carts
Fillin up them Lizzie bags
Slipping jerseys off the rack
Knocking off those ink tags
My friends would cause distractions
So that I could do the racking
Sell 'em out the trunk in city streets
Or E-bay just to cash in
I was the rack king
So how could I stop?
Getting chased down hallways
By out of shape rent-a-cops
I was the rack king
And now I'm retired
But every now and again
I still get mine without buyin

Started with graffiti
Didn't wanna pay for paint
So I put them cans up in my pants
No ma'am, nothing today
But four wasn't enough
So I put two in each sleeve
Looking like the Michelin man
When the workers watched me leave
Racking was the answer
But I swear also an art
And the passion slowly grew
Into boosting shopping carts
I changed it up from spray paint
To designer clothes
You need polo? You need nike?
You need shit no one else knows?
You need cameras? You need Laptops?
Sensors never made me stop
Slip a shimmy in-between
And watch them floor displays go pop.
I got away with everything
Never close to getting caught
Except that one time I was sprinting
Through home depot's parking lot.

I was pushing out them shopping carts
Fillin up them Lizzie bags
Slipping jerseys off the rack
Knocking off those ink tags
My friends would cause distractions
So that I could do the racking
Sell 'em out the trunk in city streets
Or E-bay just to cash in
I was the rack king
So how could I stop?
Getting chased down hallways
By out of shape rent-a-cops
I was the rack king
And now I'm retired
But every now and again
I still get mine without buyin

Working at CompUSA
I always had a lovely day
Sneaking out ipods and phones
In big bags of Lays
Switched up to externals
And hundreds of thumb drives
Got ten new xboxes
From an AmEx scam, guy
Or I would pretend I was cleaning
In the laptop vault
That had 3 cameras
Where most actions were caught
But I knew every angle
They had some blind spots
So I put the trashcan there
And filled it with laptops
Wheeled it up on out the back
Threw it in the dumpster
Put some cardboard on the top
I know you're asking "what for?"
I would Come back hours later
Real slick and sly
Grab up all those laptops
And then I'd wave bye bye

I was pushing out them shopping carts
Fillin up them Lizzie bags
Slipping jerseys off the rack
Knocking off those ink tags
My friend would cause distractions
So that I could do the racking
Sell 'em out the trunk in city streets
Or E-bay just to cash in
I was the rack king
So how could I stop?
Getting chased down hallways
By out of shape rent-a-cops
I was the rack king
And now I'm retired
But every now and again
I still get mine without buyin

RACK KING v2

**Beat by Ben Maker**

i know it's been a long time since we last spoke
since i stood over this earth, since i last had hope
since i saw your face beyond a photograph
since i stood in front of you and saw you laugh
since we snuck around the people within our lives
to make everything work and to have our prize
your company was everything, they said you weren't meant for me
and my fear is one day that i'll forget the memories
but still living on in me is your pain and suffering
that i inherited since you finally left this reality
i've tried therapy, i've tried to pray, tried to meditate,
tried to fight it out, write songs, tried to medicate
tried to ignore it and move on in life
tried face the fact that you'll never be my wife
you loved all the coke and heroin more than anything
and when you left this earth, you fucking took everything

you left a hole in me
i can hardly breathe, i feel incomplete
and still i carry on, stay on my feet
i still can't believe
that you're dead and gone, i did nothing wrong
but still my blame game strong
what could i've done differently
that would have you still here standing next to me

i think about the time we pulled over quick
on the side of the road to have a go at it
covered in sweat, filled with lust, feeling ecstasy
but scrambling quick when we saw the police
or the time we took a dip in the state park creek
in the middle of the night, just you and me.
or the time i picked you up when you were first released
after writing all those letters back and forth with me
or the times i went out writing, and you came along
in the south philly streets where you first went wrong
but i remember the pain, desperation, and misery
when everyone couldn't find you in those city streets
we looked for days, i brought a small army
and finding you safe was my only peace
and when you popped up, you acted good and fine
you acted like my concern was straight up out of line
track marks and scars, crack smoke and bars
and making quick bucks in those strangers' cars
i knew it all, and still stuck with you
you sold the jewelry i bought you and my own shit, too.
they called me a sucker, called me dumb as fuck
and they called you a junkie, and they called you a slut
but it was us vs them, even when you weren't around
when i was banging on the doors in the bad parts of town
i wanted you happy, i wanted you to be free
i wanted to sit and watch you succeed
i never gave up, and never stopped loving you
not even after they told me they found dead in your room

you left a hole in me
i can hardly breathe, i feel incomplete
and still i carry on, stay on my feet
i still can't believe
that you're dead and gone, i did nothing wrong
but still my blame game strong
what could i have done differently
that would have you still here standing next to me

November Pain

**v2 12/16/2018 | v3 12/09/19**
**beat by vap0r**

*vap0r*
Sometimes you gotta wonder why we waste our lives
Burn up money or make up lies
Steal from our best friend in the whole world
Neglect our boys and neglect our girls
Just to get the fix we really really need
Mom's nodding out while newborn cries
Dude on knees for a little bit of speed
Why the fuck can't we wake up and go outside
Breathe in breathe out and feel so alive
Maybe it's our fault maybe its our fam
stead of giving up love they runnin up scams
It's all grime there ain't no glam
Kids flex with sacks no mask on the gram
When they cant even pay for a cell phone plan
Its hard to relate if u never been jammed
I once a had a fucked up friend named sam
……..Maybe he just wished he was cool, 
met a cool kid when he transferred school, 
used to move cigarettes and slang sacks, 
He thought it smart to get up in on that, 
now the drugs come free and so do the chicks,  
got a little more lit everytime he flipped, 
now moms preggo and sticking out her hand, 
then he got locked up, mom's sleeping in a van
everybody got a reason to do this shit, 
But we all aint the same one shoe dont fit, 
maybe you lost a friend or maybe your dad, 
maybe they make you glad or make you sad
Mom smokes coke, dad drinks clear, 
uncle used to playfully grab his rear, 
no wonder he lives in a world of fuzz,
heroin make him feel like he wishes he was

Drugs...... In your system.... 
Them drug tests ya you pissed em
Kids birthdays ya you missed em
Your best friends ya u dissed em

*eraser*
Let's follow the leader and then follow the tracks
into a world where very few come back and are under attack
from the knack on their back where they have to steal
lie, suck dick, or find someone to jack
it's a fact and it doesn't discriminate
as it slow decimates the helpless victim's fate
they can't erase all hate and the pain and the shame
that they feel when they see their own face
and they're drownin, left dumb founded
can't hear the sound of their voice as the drugs pound in
crawlin, on their backs their sprawlin
can't climb out and they just keep fallin

left with scars and holes and a story untold
until their carried by six, but then who really knows

and it doesn't seem real until you got your gun
locked and loaded and you trying to run
from the cops you shot, or the fraud you've done
but your time will come.
if not from the feds, then an overdose instead
we'll be left with our heads hangin low
and nothing to be said cause you're already dead
and you're layin in your bed and your filled with regret
staring up at the ceiling there's no healing
no concealing no shieldin for the feelings your feeling
that are unyielding
so what's so appealing about this lifestyle
that robs your life and takes your smile
you say you can stop but it's been a while
and that's not your style, oh my child.

Drugs...... In your system.... 
Them drug tests ya you pissed em
Kids birthdays ya you missed em
Your best friends ya u dissed em

vap0r & eraser - Drugs v3

*eraser*
woke up this mornin, cracked my back
scratched my balls, shout outs to phrack
opened up that screen, it ain't no mac
i got that dell nigga, shout outs to phrack
didn't come to idle, i came to chat
10 thousand lines today, shout outs to phrack
when i'm done shittin, i wipe my crack
that poop smell funky town, shout outs to phrack
used to be a metalhead and now i rap
i pulled a straight 180, shout outs to phrack
i don't drink booze, i don't smoke crack
i'll cop a blowie though, shout outs to phrack
now the beat builds up, just like the last
i'ma about to kill this shit, shout outs to phrack
you can hear the beat go boom boom bap
i think i'll call this song shout outs to phrack  

SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK, NIGGA
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
I THINK I'LL CALL THIS SONG
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK

*vap0r*
some snow is white, some shit is black
chess board, shout out to phrack
my cousin mike has a mole on his back
above his crack, shout out to phrack
i get my food from the food shack
then i put my food on a bike rack, shout out to phrack
one pancake is a cake
but 3 or 4, now that's a stack... shout out to phrack
i'd like to say hello or hi to the people in the chat
in other words, shout out to phrack
imagine if you wiped your ass with 50 rusty tacks
gross! shout out to phrack

SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK, NIGGA
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK
I THINK I'LL CALL THIS SONG
SHOUT OUTS TO PHRACK

vap0r & eraser - SHOUTOUTS2PHRACK (feat. Meatwad)

My contribution to the #LRH DDOS King Remix contest... Original by vap0r pp4l (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tTDvKh7NRE)

DDOS KING Unplugged

BEAT BY ATMOS - DIGITAL GANGSTER!

~*eraser*~
they say we sick with it 
they say we won't get rich 
they say with ill with it 
we know you feeling it 

man i'm not gonna lie
homey i'm not gonna front
i don't know what that dude said
mala mala mala what?
roll up on the network
call your mama a cunt
can't believe she birthed your ass
was it a bet or a stunt?
then i'll stop by your crib
kick the door in with a grunt
plop my feet up on your table
do whatever i want
fuck your sister in your bed
man, i'm on the hunt
and before i walk out
i'll give you a punt in ya nuts
let's be clear, we ain't friends
cause i don't got much of them
circle smaller than the jeans
on a bulimic's rear end
Penis Pump, ENN
don't make me say it again
and don't ask us for love
we ain't got no more to send

~*v&e*~
They say we sick with it 
That's why we stick with it 
They say we won't get rich 
Man we know that kid 
They say with ill with it 
That's why we killing it 
We know you feeling it 
And that's no bullshit
We don't take shit we don't take shit
Pull up tripping on cid and slap the face off your bitch
We don't take shit we don't take shit
Take the shit out your safe and walking round all rich

~*vap0r*~
Pull up on the scene with a fresh pack of green and a smile as long as the golden gate bridge 
Penny loafers on my feet I cant be beat
I'll put my kids in Ur girl but she ain't having my kids
My Pitbull got tourettes I don't know what he'll do
My driver fat as fuck yo I pay him with food
Eraser uppercut Ur face and I'll give u a foot lock
While Ur in the hospital Ur wife getting good cock
Hard. ... This beat so motherfuckin hard
i'm packing like a knight but I'm singing like a bard 
I got green i got brown I got white I got shard
Call me super dealer ima pull your motherfuckin card

vap0r & eraser - MALADES (beat by ATMOS DG)

to all my chatters on the IRC
throw your laptops in the air
but don't crack the screen
chat hard, real hard, but try not to be mean
to everybody you see, or you'll be catchin giga-b's
keep a low profile, floss your own chat style
you'll be here for a while, trust me young child
REAL - RNCP
Real Nigga Chat Protocol - yahmean mah G?

crack my laptop open, lines bout to be spoken, my modem's coastin 
another friday night, LRH is on, i'll be awake i'm hopin
and two days ago, i saw my favorite show, ENN my bro
and be you friend or foe, we already know, that episode was SMOKIN
chatters here one day, then gone the next, i guess it's too much stress
but not for all us smashin lines right now, cause we at our best
this development is our element and any other shit is irrelevant
it ain't for sale, i ain't sellin it, but i'm tellin it to get it off my chest

feelin kinda funky, chat with vap0r and munki, rebirth n spoke
and efukt hill, chrono, and synth, penis pump 4 life we ain't no joke
there's others too, i did not forget you, but for now i'm through, now onto some news
nance and incog got 12 children, more on the way, and haven't even poked.
Dwaine's the holiest man i know, save a prayer for me, i need it yo
l0de hung out with sayjay once, she fell in love, thrashed to and fro
got her tranny friend to talk her shit, thought she was slick, n we saw through it
now they're both gone, can't chat - oh crap, ain't that a shame, see ya later hoes

i keep hearin crap about tinychat, i'm alright with that, but facts are facts
irc reigns supreme, and if you disagree, quit and don't come back
mircart got packs, those stacks and stacks of art inspired by hard chats
infox still fat, ilken can't hack, threatened by dak, SHOUTOUTS 2 PHRACK
darkmage tutors, fortnite shooter, saltgang run by anj and jewbird
and we're still here, year after year, you can toke to that or drink a beer
and it gets real weird, but have no fear, it'll all be clear
that there is where we belong, we are IRC, PENIS PUMP ya queers

RNCP

(beat by unknown)


in 1998 i found my way to relic
the endless search for warez, and i was just a kid
it was the summer of 7th grade and instead of swimming
i was using Polaris, my love was just beginning
for this protocol of chat we been usin since
and lot have come and gone, i wonder where they've been
my first channel was #fam, some trolls from grade school
and some people i didn't know, but fuck it, it was cool
i remember the days of #dreamwarez
there were 100s of fserves to be raped there
all i wanted was roms, songs, apps, and wad files
i didn't think that i'd stay to chat for a while
but 21 years later and i'm still here player
up and down on that IRC like elevator
sometimes i take a break and i get outside
but i'll be on RELICNET til the day that i die

where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T
relicnet got nothing but them OGs
where the average age of chatters is around 40
relicnet got two decades of history
the warez channels left but we still here, see?
packets still being sent to be received
so hit up the round robin or a server IP
you can still connect, it's ok to repeat
so i'll say again, sing it with me
where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T
R E L I C dot N E T
R E L I C dot N E T
where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T

and then there was the split between duke and dukey
excuse me if i got it wrong, the two nicks confuse me
friends were separated, and most picked a side
but i kicked it on both to maintain my stride
and then came the ddos, and the packets were flyin
channels kept movin, felt the networks were dyin
and Quasie only lasted for about a year
but guess which net is still standin here
shoutouts to shrapnal for keepin it movin
shoutouts to #edge for keepin it groovin
shoutouts to the lone bot in tbsg
shoutouts to eracer - the other one with a C

we've withstood the times, we've withstood the attacks
we can't let it go and use discord or slack
hell nah fuck that let's keep it real
i had to write this whole song to tell you how i feel

where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T
relicnet got nothing but them OGs
where the average age of chatters is around 40
relicnet got two decades of history
the warez channels left but we still here, see?
packets still being sent to be received
so hit up the round robin or a server IP
you can still connect, it's ok to repeat
so i'll say again, sing it with me
where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T
R E L I C dot N E T
R E L I C dot N E T
where i started is where i am and always will be
R E L I C dot N E T

RELICNET

-eraser-
hush lil baby don't say a word
emotional as fuck, softer than a turd
got everybody singing if you haven't heard
white2pac you're a fuckin nerd.

ayo ste, i try to stay impartial
always keep it real, let ya'll have your squabble
tried to sit in peace and eat my waffles
but you keep on cryin so that's impossible
don't be upset because you in the news
i'd be upset because you are that dude
that needs to be validated everywhere, I R C too.
and from the sidelines, i've watched you crumble
don't know how to take a joke or stay humble
let me get your purse that you've seem to fumble
lookin like the real life barney gumble
let me change your shitty pissy diaper
i can tell in life you were never a fighter
oldschool ain't shit when you ain't built for it
rice on a paper plate, but you're somehow whiter
don't care what you think or how you feel
get your newspaper out, clean my windshield
you talk mad shit, then "leave me alone"
dabguy with three more chromosomes
actin like a dude that would fuck his daughter
couldn't get a girl even if you bought her
always begging for shit, so here's some quarters
as a matter of fact, i'll let you have this chorus

-ste-
steeee im steeeee yall cant fuck with meeeee
but i love you a friend indeed until i decide to cut u free

-vap0r-
ste-ven you joinin lotsa channels like you he-man, 
she-ra never loved you now you stea-min, 
now you gettin shine and ya you beam-in, eyes gleam-in, 
you see man, you'd do anything for ops ingesting se-men, 
you could be whatever you ever wanted to be-man, 
but you're a spineless skilless soulless leach and you're leechin
ops and shells spoofs and ddos, suckin all dicks around the clock
a succubus, nothin but a consumer, if efnet is a body you're a cancerous tumor

-spoke-
Shout outs to S T E i barely noticed your beef
Yet you like to run your mouth like you’re acquainted with me
You riding all my dick and popping off at the lips
You put your name on my tongue and started kissing the tip
You wanna rep tupac but hes a thug not a bitch
If its drama that you wanted then i'ma finish this shit
I been around the block but not as much as your mama
You said that you’d own me and jupe me and i still think that you oughta
This a lullaby baby you been verbally slaughtered
Its a kindness i offer no babys ass could be softer
Hush little ste ste dont say a word
I hope you all done with the noise we heard
If that shit talk dont soon quit
Heed this song every word of it


**beat by freebeats.io

eraser & vap0r & spoke - lullaby

foreskin vladimir
let me make myself clear
i want you out of here
your rap skills cause no fear
but i'm afraid you're queer
and you want my rear
whether far or near
you want me to appear
in your bedroom with my pants down
so you can eat my brown... eye
i know you beg and cry
to feel me deep inside
but i can't give you that, so i won't
maybe i can find a tranny that can give you a poke
you sound like a bloke, let me keep it simple
fat cheeks sound more stuffed than a teenage pimple
how much do you weigh, do your dimples got dimples?
when it comes to your stomach, how many rolls and ripples?
and yeah i got a pitbull that'll tear you down
but it's a lot to eat, so he'll keep you around
or maybe i'm wrong, and you're a skinny guy
hooked on meth and opiates, and dust cleaner highs
instead of honing in on your diss skills
your suckin off Jamal for them percocet pills
but this the last time i'll speak, i'm the king of the diss raps
you lost this one homey, take a piss or a crap
you can take a piss, or you can take a crap
Bomb Iran, you're not a man, you're just euro trash
you're just euro trash, you're just euro trash
stick to discord while i stick to hard chats
push your keyboard back, push your keyboard back
sharper than a tack, yeah i'm white not black
PENIS PUMP - Foreskin Vladimir is whack
PENIS PUMP - Foreskin Vladimir is whack
PENIS PUMP - Foreskin Vladimir is whack
PENIS PUMP - Foreskin Vladimir is whack

Foreskin Gladimqueer

i be fuckin discord up
and i be fuckin it down
homies mad cause PENIS PUMP
waxed them discord clowns
if i step up on they block
they ain't want me around
i took they championship belt
and then i broke they crown
listen up, hear me out
and learn your lesson for now
i ain't mixed, i ain't black
and i sure as fuck ain't brown
bet you wanna take this pitbull
straight to the pound
but the only pound i'm doin now
is when i pound your lady out ARF
i wrote this song in 10 minutes
and recorded it 5 later
you losers been at this for days
while i been sittin watchin Frasier
hip hop discord is litte league
and you steppin to the major
hit your ma between the hips
like her clit's a pager
somebody tell that bitch to chill
before i go n cage her
my flow like a laser
your flow need a pace maker
that shit is dead homey
i've seen more balls on a quaker
i get cake, as in money
you get cake, as in baker
you fat, not skinny
i'm big, not mini
you not from the city
raps is shitty
you ain't fuckin wit me
i'll tap your motherfuckin kidneys, free delivery
only time you fuckin is when there's pity
dead like whitney, chewed like wrigley
you want to be me, but you ain't like me homie
and Penis Pump is the gang
LRH is the clique
IRC is the spot
and discord can suck my fuckin dick ARF ARF

DMXFnet

**beat by who gives a fuck i found it on youtube**

i've been feeling disconnected
can't hold my connection
packets reflected
my connection rejected
feelin like i'm bein robbed
i can't chat anymore
without connecting to my shell
to see my nicks on the floor
i can try to switch it up
i know i'll lose my spoof
i know i'll lose my can_flood
but i won't get juped
and i can't take anymore
any second i'll drop
i got 6 separate clients
i ain't runnin no bots
everything is manual
nothing is automated
i'm like 56k
my strategy is outdated
oppin all my clients
left right and center
speedin through the channels
hittin up and then enter
without that @ next to my name
who will suck my cock?
i need vanity my g
emi ain't down the block
and now i'm just hangin
in irc purgatory
real chatters take the hit
ddos godds get the glory

feelin like 2002
packets are flying, what we gonna do
should we blame jewbird, and raphidae too?
maybe rondito? How bout stevoo?
oh look - disconnected again.
how the fuck am i supposed to chat with my friends?
is it because MESA crew is on the scene
bcp38? i don't know what that means.

i got ptsd
from typin screen -r
this ain't my usual nick
the chattin life is hard
and i worked so long
on my irssi windows
the layout was perfect
bet you know how this goes
because i didn't expect
for things to go this way
and i took it for granted
cause i didn't /save
now my chats are hindered
someone's got my nick
my other clients collided
well ain't that some shit
between the lines of chat
i'm seeing all the quits
was about to cyber sayjay
but i ate packets
ircclown and ovh
even spoofed ips
it seems like no one is safe
we need a secret weapon
to help turn this page
someone hit the claw phone
cause we need darkmage

feelin like 2002
packets are flying, what we gonna do
should we blame jewbird, and raphidae too?
maybe rondito? How bout stevoo?
oh look - disconnected again.
how the fuck am i supposed to chat with my friends?
is it because MESA crew is on the scene
bcp38? i don't know what that means.

Disconnected (feat BB DDOS KING)

**BEAT BY BEN MAKER**

crack open laptop, crackhead at the crack spot
addicted to the chatting, walked away, but i can't stop
turn it round like a door knob, eat it up like a fat slob
like me on IRC when that new vap0r track dropped
click clackin the keyboard, cut you down like a long sword
this nick say she a chick, n she thick, but i'm not sure
still chat cause i'm that bored, sends me pics, but i'm not lured,
no one in IRL but IRC i'm a chat lord
wireless. mouse. clickin.
my girl. keeps. bitchin.
but i'm. on a. mission.
i'll push. her. shit in.
dual screen, yahmean, who need anything more
2 displays enough for me but some chatters need 4
1 CRT monitor is all Dwaine can afford
however many you got, none better display discord
it's internet relay chat or i'll bust your head
discord rappers tried their luck but they ended up dead
i chewed em up and spit them out, mouth covered in red
i was gonna let em off, but pumpbull ate em instead
foreskin vladimir heard i was comin n fled
darkmage lost a contest, but he won in his head
dickears blogs it up whenever he's off of his meds
infox's exercise is when he sits up in bed
p-penis pump, PENIS PUMP, find a tree, take a dump
i met up with rain once, now my penis got bumps
sike, nah, i'm jus playin, yeah i'm jus actin dumb
like when slimer cast seven votes for president trump
i saw a pic of anji's mom and WHOAH she got a rump
dabguy ain't got a head, just a neck with some lumps
vae ain't got workin legs, jus got two lifeless stumps
but who the fuck am i to judge, i'm here online with you bums

ain't no on better than me (how conceited)
but shit, i ain't better than you either (how humble) 
shall we continue?

it's been 23 years since i found my way here
people in life came and went, but IRC always near
sometimes we time out or connection reset by peer
sometimes the weak ones will /quit from the fear
dox droppin, box poppin, modem clogged but not stoppin
seen em all say forever, but years later flip floppin
pic croppin, stream choppin, disability mockin
anything goes here, but if you pedo, we locked in
target acquired while a plan is conspired
call your mom, call your wife, call your job, now you're fired
check out kongfuzisays.com - i'm inspired
tr0n's life put on blast, now his  life is expired

it's not real life... but it can touch real life
what a unique and beautiful thing.

shout outs to vap0r (shoutouts to phrack)
shout outs to jewbird.
shout outs to hgc, xartet, spoke, big null, yung innanet (shoutouts to phrack)
shout outs to pcap man... you can take a piss or you can take a crap.
shout outs to jordan_o - is your room clean bro? (shoutoutstophrack)
shout outs to octopus if he actuallys raps (shoutoutstophrack)
shout outs to ALL the IRC rappers... P-P-P-PENIS PUMP!!

êrãsêr

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