nothing left to fear

you don’t understand how to understand me
I’m a façade of complexity
marching down the street baton in hand
in fancy frills like I’m fronting the fucking band
the ground feels unstable and trembling
holding hands we brace in waiting
afraid of losing control to just let go 
and give up everything we know
we don't know...

we don’t know where the time will go
or when the reaper will reclaim what she sowed  
we’re crossing bridges while looking down our nose
we’re superstitious crossing fingers eyes and toes
in a moment the moment’s gone
you could miss it if you sneeze blink or yawn
like watching in reverse the moves you make
when you shake the dream and start to wake

you don’t understand how to understand me
I'm a façade of complexity
floating down the street flower in hand
a fucking fool if I think I’m the magician
our house of cards is rotating
shuffle a vowel to see a new meaning
skeleton tree dimensional
keys endless tetrahedral

you don’t understand how to understand me
I’m a façade of complexity
marching down the street baton in hand
in fancy frills like I’m fronting the fucking band
the ground feels unstable and trembling
holding hands we brace in waiting
afraid of losing control to just let go 
and give up everything we know
what do we know...

there’s something heavy about the weight of breath
another thing that we can’t measure so we just guess
and what’s the difference plus or minus a few Grams
there’s nothing here that we can hold in our hands 
ancient forces twisting our fates
holding doors and closing gates
one hand two hands four limbs eight
chakras balance on spinning plates

vowel movement

eventually you just become another name
on an obituary page
scrolling off history forever
as one more wave
of people passing over you bury you
in one more grave
recycling the carbon and the molecules
with the obituary page
eventually you’ll just become a memory
a fleeting glimpse
of our endlessness manifest
in this experience
of pain and of joy and indifference
living in human skin
that grows and sheds and falls again and again and again…

ownbit

bedwritten

I saw it standing next to me
a face afloat in ecstasy
I watched it turn and tumble to the ground

the crowd was shouting
ringing bells
"unleash on us the hounds of hell!"
a fallen tale we love to tell ourselves

into the flames I will return
just close my eyes and feel it burn
my tricoloured world melting down

I saw it standing next to me
avert my eyes like I can’t see
a world awaiting to unfold

this chemical smell of laundry
electric sky breaks over me
while birds sing out their alto hymns

into the grave I will return
I'll close my eyes and take my turn
in the disappearing game

I saw it standing next to me
a face afloat in ecstasy
I watched it turn and tumble to the ground

broken by inheritance
like Stringed lights on a wind blown fence
twisted blinking off and on

nothing here makes sense to me
everyone hates everything
I try to relate
what's the use

the novelty train keeps moving
huffing down the track again
soon it will be at your door

into the flames I will return
just close my eyes and feel it burn
my tricolored world melting down
my tricolored world melting down
my tricolored world is melting down…

lossless

plaque on the teeth of an empire
dirt pressed against my face 
mind control for the children
alive here and ready to waste

away
again

when you’re gone past the morning
with light half spent leaking through
the trees keep the quietest record
of all the things you meant to do

ok?
pretend 

your seas are alive with the waving
approaching high tide in your mind
a bob and float overtaking
the islands you never could find

hid away
again

plaque on the teeth of an empire
dirt pressed against my face 
mind control for the children
alive here and ready to waste

fuzzmilk

born in 1985, an adopted child of a heavy-hearted woman and a jolly/dejected father, I lived as a stranger in my skin for a while. life was not bad, it was undefined, lacking clarity and something more. ledges to latch onto on the climb through all the lessons of life were spread wildly across the face of a great mountain range with vast distances between chasms and peaks. I find recurring dreams, like winged monkeys in flying suits at night, circling the house. obviously, a classic Wizard of Oz motif. with no yellow brick road, I watch from my bedroom window... as a squadron of big men below, wearing fuzzy hats are holding silver spears, patrolling my own back yard. they move in unison through torch light flicker flames. I’m watching them marching. it’s frightening. I hear them singing, “OHREOHREOHREOHREYOHOHO…” wake up terrified and confused and alone. hear something calling me to look outside at four years old and I see the same scene I'd just seen, repeating. the men there, patrolling, their voices are booming, singing, “OHREOHREOHREOHREYOHOHO…”

recursing nightmare
see the ending at the start
nothing left to fear

sweet home alabama
will be playing while we disintegrate into oblivion
with our uniforms on, these costumes we don
to feel a part of the wave we are on

towers stretch the world
amplify the fear
and the panic unfurls
I saw it all fall out through the teeth of a girl, in an exhale swirl

forces push the tides
out of our control
like the news on the rise, waxing truth, waning lies
flow in through the holes in our eyes

what good is a foot on the floor
with the ragged howling at your proverbial backdoor?
where the sheets drape the walls, shadows creep down the hall
without a witness at all

don't save or touch your face
there's a price to be paid for living here in this place
keep to yourself if you care to keep pace
with the new human race

sweet home alabama
will be playing while we disintegrate into oblivion
with our uniforms on, these costumes we don
to feel a part of the wave we are on

sweet home alabama

everything I know is correct 
there's no need to reflect
on the word stack in my brain 
that I heard and rearranged
when I was some odd kid years old
before the timewave fold
so I drift and ride the wake of growing up and growing old and growing by mistake
yeah I know this isn't me
there's plenty of positivity
put it back up on the shelf 
I'm already dead so I can't kill my
self-assured and rearranged
and maybe somewhat less deranged
flicker on and peter out
it's never what it is is what it's all about (about (about))
and now our health is running out
running sick and running thin
look and wave through worried window panes and grin

worried_windows.wav

friendly smiles passing with open eyes
crystal memories delude us all in time
we see just what we want to see
an idealistic view imbues the memory

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

fear of fear our cultural belief
the time we get to give and take to keep
drip side down for hurried hearts
brown to blonde from end to start

like never ending nested Russian dolls
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

carry us all shouting trending memes
nothing that you know is as it seems
flip perception on it’s head
to find old concepts we can blame shit on instead

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

riding on the pendulum
it knows that where we’re going is where we just swung from
triple check my napkin math
square the root and follow on the circle’s path

like televising television sets
recursive screens cascading video playback
a chrysalis will bloom into a re-spawned pupal butterfly and so will you

you die like you’re a skipping track
you’re gone before you know you’re back
to come and slip into again
the consciousness you’d forgotten
like dreams you lose when you describe
how waking up feels less alive
than everything you thought was real
by now you’d think we’d know the deal

like time repeating time and time again
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

ontologic

plaque on the teeth of an empire

https://ericadams.wtf

nothing left to fear

eric adams