learn how to find yourself within a cycle of infatuation and acceptance being confused with love.

stuck.

just another way to escape the things that taught us how to forget.

shiloh's escape

inspired by bill withers.
learn how to live for yourself
the second person will come after. 
to a rose that never had color,
you will always be beautiful to me.
may this be your black and white rose.

b&w rose.

here’s my short rendition of sweater weather.

though it rains and drops weigh more than you do,
remember to enjoy it,
because without rain,
there would be no sunlight.
- ivan.

sweater weather's interlude.

though midnight came,
like a jacket in the breeze
you never forgot to shiver,
but only to the thought of me
- ivan.

shiver (cover)

blur

there's times where we share a flame,
and it used to take so long to start.
but now that we've been lost in between our thoughts,
let's let time settle things between us.

- ivan.

INSPIRED BY VERZACHE/ZACH FARUCHE

the losing soulmate.

lyrics

i hate sleeping alone,
and every time you call,
just leave a message at the tone.
if you cross my mind,
i hope you fall between the O’s
& my exes hated love,
the hug’s and kisses burned my soul.

i mean,
they hurt my soul.
you held me so much,
i can’t just let this go,
this love is getting serious,
my words be building pyramids
and when i speak in tongues 
i never thought that you could hear it then.
“maybe i should walk a little slower,
or maybe i should try to get to know her?
and tell her that the space between my lungs,
is hanging on from a thread,
she’s my luna and i’m her sun”
man i’ve been so nervous,
i’m fighting with myself i’m screaming do i deserve this?


and so the lines blurred together
and i lost my line of sight,
but i’ll still hold you down whenever.

i promised to keep you warm friday night.

i’m sorry i couldn’t.

ivan.

warmth

it’s been a while

THANKS FOR 132K+ PLAYS!!!!!

ivan...


i don’t understand, what it takes to be your man.

baby don’t pretend, you want to see me again.


i don’t really try to understand but,
do you really wanna be my friend or?
...are you gonna lead me on?
so that i could end up hurt,
and right another little song for you.
talk about a rose up in the snow to you,
you love to see me hurt up in the zone with you.

i wanna be your man girl what’s wrong with you?
ask you for your hand always give me five not two,
little seconds of your time.
and i ask you for a hug, but all my love you decline.

friendzone.

releasing this spontaneously to ease my heart. 

if you ever need someone to talk to please DM me.

heartbreak is serious and i want this song to be a way to cope with it.

much love,

ivan.

hrtbrkn

lyrics

everyday time fades away
into the sky my butterflies keep
me insane my lungs provide the
air to breathe you in my life

i know that love tends to shiver
i hope, you stay warm in the winter

so let me love you hold you in the
way you were caressed outline your
skin with my lips, kiss you like this
i don’t see what’s wrong with a little bliss.
bliss...

beautiful after all of the guys
that made you feel some pain i know
you’ve been through hell and since we 
met i’ve been in love with you...

i know that love tends to shiver
i hope, you stay warm in the winter

so let me love you hold you in the
way you were caressed outline your
skin with my lips, kiss you like this
i don’t see what’s wrong with a little bliss.
bliss...

i know that love tends to shiver
i hope, you stay warm in the winter

bliss.

joji's demons.

itunes<3

somebody else's

look it’s me,
i’m a man that’s still a boy,
my beards growing thicker,
but i still play gameboy,
and with some color.
i mean this life is like no other,
playing pokemon,
with my socks on,
and my sandals losing eachother.

i make music,
for the culture,
i mean, it’s the lack of culture,
that inspires me to proceed,
i’m sitting pretty, 
while my grandma’s knitting,
and i’m writing feelings,
it’s the same old me.

what’s the point of thinking bout the past,
i’m present bearing presents,
in my presence you won’t last,
you see it’s love that makes war.
like our women making babies boom,
get a room,
talk about some christmas issues,
maybe really soon.
but not now,
cause lately i’ve been blowin up,
the feelings nuclear between the pillars
that i’ve been holding up,
losing track of time, while i switch lines,
into shorter ones.
i’m switching lanes,
i don’t have a car,
but i might own one.
or maybe two, 
counting three
of these women in my dreams.
they’ve been tearing up my heart back since i was thirteen,
or maybe back when i was 7,
bought roses for these girls,
that threw them out, 
wait i was 11, 
when my heart was broken first, 
and i didn’t know what was said then.
that love was just an obstacle of trust just tryna set in,
and the fundamental intuition of life is where it sets in.
that self love is needed just to feel the feelings bled in.
right? 
just to feel the feelings bled in.

i just wanna say thanks,
for every time i ever cried,
for every time that i felt for you,
and your dirty ocean eyes.
hey thanks,
hey thanks,
for every lie you ever told me,
i hope you live a life, where you think about the old me,
or the new me, 
no more blue me,
maybe red me? 
color me violet,
i’ll live a life that reads between the lines and not outside it.

hey,
thanks.
thnx.
ivan.

thnx.

a second. (live Interlude)

lost the love.

bad for me.

ivan. (prod. south. vibe) [thanks for 500k+ plays!]

before i close my eyes (tribute to x)

lyrics

please don’t go run for cover,
cause i don’t want another,
and it don’t get much better than 
you you you you you you.

please don’t go run for cover,
cause i don’t want another,
and it don’t get much better than 
you you you you you you.

i know.

it’s ivan.

and i’m sorry that it irks you.
see less is pain,
and loves to gain,
like heaven on this earth too,
too blue keep running circles,
and hiding from my verse shoes,
keep stepping on my heart,
and kick the sand all on my virtues.
flew by all on your carpet,
accommodate yourself,
you’re just a flying piece of garbage.
keep drowning in your wealth,
and leave the poor man bleeding silent.
you better run for cover,
so my words won’t sting like venom,
and the vibe won’t stick to silence.

please don’t go run for cover,
cause i don’t want another,
and it don’t get much better than 
you you you you you you.

look, i know your ex treated you crazy.
he left some little notes,
tied to your heart so i got lazy.
giving up on all your love so you could learn to scream my name, 
jeez.
stop messing w my heart. 
um are you crazy?
it’s simple.

i’d rather talk then keep it violent.
no ex without the o’s i’ll keep it slow
the movement’s timing,
i know.

you really wanna stay,
but i suggested that you go.
and say goodbyes along the way.
so go ahead and
close the door behind you,
so the stench won’t reach my soul.
and my charisma won’t confine you.
and every night you wanna cry,
i hope you recognize that i spent years 
so full of nights that i just cried to feel alive.

look... i know...

um. (prod. siin)

something to ease your hearts. my first collab to all of you.

summer ft. fleur

“about you.” ft j.pappas
(lyrics)

i can’t stop thinking 
bout you,
can’t stop thinking,
bout you,
yeah.
look.

(ivan) 

i’m so surprised that you called,
suffocated by problems involved,
with the way that you walk up to him,
just to run back to me,
and i’ll pick up your fall.
i’m frustrated,
my feelings in this life have been sedated, 
and every time you wanna cry i fucking hate it,
i’ll open up but my heart’s just been gated,
look, i’ll ease up on ya,
i’ll be running through your mind like a subtitle,
and the feelings so divine,
i’m above titles,
different waves, 
so your fans found a new idol.
icon in the works,
this a new cycle.
it’s that feeling of the pain,
& the long nights too,
where the stars never align,
and you’re so insightful.

the pain is vital,
the pain is vital.
yeah yeah the pain is vital

can’t stop thinking,
about you.
i can’t stop thinking,
about you.



(j.pappas)

bout you,
bout you,
bout you, oh.
really nothing hurts cause your always on my mind.
really that’s an issue cause i’m pretty out of line.
i can not describe this big ol’ feeling of mine.
gotchu on repeat in my head it’s like a line,
and i’m trying.
still can’t deny it,
emotional silence,
metaphorically crying,
oh i am,
too weak to admit it.
oh look i did it again,
could’ve been more than just friends,
but you kept playing pretend.

all beginnings must come to an end.
all beginnings must come to an end.
all beginnings must come to an end.

i can’t stop can’t stop thinking no...

(poem)

with all the love i haven’t given.
i promise if you take my love for granted,
there’s no better life to...
live in.
so,
so love in the now while 
the past still holds us.
stop, 
just stop playing games and turn off your controller.
i just wanna hold you.
like each letter written with the thought of you.
and even though it was for somebody else
as it comes with each passing.
that i can’t stop thinking about you.
i just,
i just can’t.

about you. ft j.pappas

(lyrics)

i’m as,
raw as they come,
i spit it in tongues.
i keep the bangers on the stove,
and leave the oven for fun,
i rip the bass up with the track so you could see it get flung,
with my monkeys on some shit you just don’t get where i’m from.
it’s ivan.
i swear my flow be the hardest ever,
this for you weak bitches who think my flow just can’t get better,
with no vendettas,
see we don’t walk calmly never,
i keep it strapped,
without the scope,
pull out your umbrellas cause.
i could spray this shit with no effort,
paint your walls with blood,
and take a bath,
but fuck it low pressure,
that’s besides the point,
don’t fw me i thought you’d know better.
sleeping on the boy, 
i’m breaking necks,
i’m just a trendsetter.
sorry.
had to switch the flow,
i just been vibin out to carti,
fuck the playboi,
i got two bitches on my body.
switching different women,
i’m making foolish decisions,
i’m coming with all the wisdom,
no travesty in my pigment.

droppin it though.
pick up the pieces,
so you still believe me,
im slaughtering hoes.
pick up the phone,
better not send me to voicemail before i go touring on shows.
look at the flow,
i’m under influenced in what you’re doing,
too translucent.
switch up the flow like i’m starting a movement,
leave you behind,
now you’re left w confusion.
so let me dumb it down.
now all the people in the back,
watch me clap back
don’t get smacked up 
with a ruler
learn your lesson.
it’s ivan that you vibe to,
no one gives the same impression.
and yes i count my blessings.
like 1, 2, 3 and to the 4
on my 8 mile shit, 
with bunny rabbit on floor,
and we reaching different heights but leave our heads all on the floor,
so stick w common sense,
and come in-side this worlds too cold.
leave the youth thinking,
why the fuck this man so cold?
i’m only 18,
& making hits all on my own so,
it might be best to protect your neck,
and realize who’s next, my flow too direct huh...

spend years at the crib,
so i don’t feel the pain no more,
i don’t feel the pain no more.
gotta get it how i live,
cause i don’t feel the pain no more,
i don’t feel the pain no more.

i just wanna make it big,
so my ma don’t have to cry no more,
ma won’t have to cry no more,
first is filling up the fridge, 
i’ve been here for a while so close,
i could feel it oh so close.

spend years at the crib,
so i don’t feel the pain no more,
i don’t feel the pain no more.
gotta get it how i live,
cause i don’t feel the pain no more,
i don’t feel the pain no more.

i just wanna make it big,
so ma don’t have to cry no more,
ma won’t have to cry no more,
first is filling up the fridge, 
i’ve been here for a while so close,
i could feel it oh so close.

444.

every time i close my eyes i still see your smile.
and every time we touch your skin just stays for a while.

you’re a catch but not i’m not a receiver.
had me falling without any reason.
so i fell, and you laugh while i’m bleeding,
i want you to stay but you ended up leaving.
so i ended up screaming,
for your love as you call me uneven.
but you looked at my shape,
never minded my weight,
so you gave something to believe in.
look babe,
i know that i drove you crazy,
2014 mercedes,
i know, i know know.
yeah,
just a young kid in a mind of his own,
finding some love in some places unknown,
i’m praying you call, pick up your phone.
i love when you smile,
your smile is my home.

smile.

instrumental: https://soundcloud.com/idealismus/falling-asleep-at-337am-ft-alex-szotak

idealism’s spotify for instrumental: http://sptfy.com/idealism

thank you for letting me use this!!

lyrics.

i never thought i’d be alive in this lifetime...
i never thought i’d be alive in this lifetime...
so i trip about the skies and how it won’t shine.
and how i feel my grip slipping,
in a motherfucking instant let the light shine.
or like my clouds would turn to gray it’s up in tight binds...
& i forget priorities and leave what ain’t mine.
and how i let all the formalities incinerate
i gradually will demonstrate to you why 
i believe in love & complicate.
shit.
i meditate shit.
i hope i never break, shit.
i hope you never hate,
me.
for tryna be me.
or love you,
you see me?

tbh. pt 1 (prod. idealism)

all these letters never sent?
and all these voicemails that i left you,
never sent?
and now you posting all your happiness on instagram while i was sitting crying for 6 months without a hand.
“i’m sorry love,
that i don’t have all of the strength to give you hugs.
and how you cried over facetime wasn’t enough.
see it was god who told me that you weren’t the one.”

i was one who,
helped you love.
and gave you strength,
to show you trust.
and i admit,
yeah i fucked up.
but there’s a difference between loving me & lust.

i kept on 
loving you wrong,
and so i’ve written song after song.
just to reach out,
and let you remember that i’ve been your rebound since last year’s december.

when the snow fell harder than it looked,
my lips kept on cracking,
my songs had no hooks.
i stayed in my bed,
had no love for my books.
& i gave up on school,
all the time that it took,
to remember you.
and all the little memories that made me smile,
they went and faded blue.
or maybe black when it was back to how i’d see it through.
just me and you.
on facetime just me and you.
the distance blinded me so i just couldn’t feel it through.

hrtbrkn pt. 2

baby no,
no no.
baby no,
no no.

how do i start?
april 7th.
when you were embedded to come break my heart,
but you never forget when i cried over facetime,
and laying in bed when,
these nights were just so blue even with you.
these nights were just so blue even with you.
damn...
i really fucked up now.
damn...
i got you so scared now.
baby all up in your womb.
babe.
baby all up in your womb.
that’s what i thought i told you.
babe.
i can’t believe that we’ve been here before...
closing the door...
i went back home,
shackling me to my bones,
i went back home, 
you just shackled me up to my bones.

a firework's silhouette.

releasing this unannounced so that my soul could feel whole, without the pressure of time.

lyrics: 

i’ve been so caught up in my life,
can you kiss me,
i’m running out of time.
lately i’m lost,
lately i fall,
and lately i can’t get a text, or a call.
i thought you would call,
my feelings involved.
but you slipped away,
so we can’t have it all.

i told you that i needed space,
you let it dissolve.
and now i’m a wasted face 
with no name at all.
so just let me drink,
and let me get high,
to numb all the pain that i feel from your eyes.
i know that you’re hurt,
i know that you cry,
i know that the sadness will never subside.
but you’ll be alright,
my feelings aside,
i’ll take care of you as if you were my pride.
& i’ll wrap you up,
and make sure you’re loved,
and show you that pain is a thought,
not a drug.

boy in blue

voicemail.

made this about a year ago. here it goes, the comeback i guess.

in my room

wasted

from the "18" EP. more songs releasing soon. it's hard to post songs when life has been so good, i should probably get back to it. but i can't help it, when i know i fell for someone who makes every second worth it. i'll be posting more soon!

distance (live)

lyrics:
lately,
both of your hugs have saved me,
sky’s been okay lately.
i’m here doing the same thing.
cause i know i want to stay in bed with you.
your words caress my skin like tongues on glue,
stuck to me.
count the days when you’re away from me.
until my lungs fill up themselves i’ll be okay.
i’ve loved you since yesterday.

thanks for listening in, I love you all<3

insta: @jonvibes :)

yesterday

merry christmas! - a gift from me to you. i'll be returning with more music shortly.

go support stattic for producing this song, he's just starting out!!

STATTIC - https://soundcloud.com/user-693062603

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