I hope I die soon
But my doctor says I won't
I want a gun
But my therapist says don't
So I do a lot of drugs
And I hope they'll cause my death
Every time I take a hit
I hope it takes away my breath

Yeah yeah yeah
Fuck it all 

I hope I die soon
But my doctor says I won't
I want a gun
But my therapist says don't
So I do a lot of drugs
And I hope they'll cause my death
Every time I take a hit
I hope it takes away my breath

Yeah

Hope

I walked into the house of the lord
Mostly because I was bored
But what they did and said
I was abhorred
Venom of Satan
Disguised as Jesus’ sword

They all pretended
They were surrounded by love
But the preacher
Wore boxing gloves
They got real stupid
Started speaking in tongues
And then it all made sense
Why everything's wrong

People like these
Are universal trash
Throw them in the fire
And cook them to ash
Do not give them pity
Do not give them a pass
But the real fucking problem
Is that this shit is gonna last

So many different flavors
Spread across the globe
People getting false hope
Can't worship alone
Some are so dismayed
They’d cut you to the bone
Should you disagree with them
Or don't believe at all

Don’t believe at all
Don’t believe their way
Why do you exist at all

Preacher in Boxing Gloves



You will never be free from pain.
You will never be fully understood.
You will never get the childhood you needed.
No one is coming to save you.
You will be misunderstood and unrecognized.
You will want things you’ll never get.
Your body will keep breaking down.
The world will never be fair.
You will always have to fight for meaning.
You will die with unfinished shit.
You will never be enough for everyone.
You will always get triggered by old wounds.
You will always feel out of place.
You will not get closure.
You will lose people who mattered more to you.
You will never know if you truly mattered.
You won’t get back the stolen years.
You will always be haunted by alternate versions of you.
Happiness will never last.
Most people lie to themselves.
Telling the truth will cost you.
You will always have to explain yourself.
You will question your worth until you die.
Love will not fix you or them.
No one will fully get you.
You won’t ever arrive.
You will always feel like you’re faking it.
Your needs will always feel like a burden.
The world won’t care that you’re tired.
Grief will never go away.
You will not get justice for what was done to you.
Your best qualities came from suffering 



Facts of Life

What the fuck
Is wrong with you?
Why are you here?
What did they say?
What was it
That made you
Come my way,

Today?

I don't feel
Very comfortable
Right now
You make me feel so ill
Make my fucking
Spine run chills
And I don't wish you
Any true ill will
But get away from me
Or I will need
A lot of pills

Oh no

What the fuck
Is wrong with you
Asking me
How I am
Like you fucking care
I can see right through
Your stare

What the fuck
Is wrong with you
Taking all my air
Are you doing this
On a dare
Go meet that monster and see
Is she like
You and me

But if I were
Would I truly say
What the fuck
Is wrong with you

Today



Friends

Facts Of Life (for kids)


I don't know why I exist
Maybe you don't know too
Maybe we should go and kiss
Or go and screw
That's what our parents do

Maybe we should get some guns
Go around, shoot each other
Go and shoot all our friend
Blow away sister and brother
Kill all our enemies too
Isn't that what our parents do

Live in the world
And treat it like trash
Shit in the rivers
Treat earth like ass
Make rivers into a witches brew
That's what our parents do

Make the laws and go to war
Steal resources, more and more
Need more soldiers, fuck another whole
Make the world a place
Where you don't care anymore

Hey, I'm sorry that it's true
But that's what our parents do
And the thing that's really bothering you
Is that you do it too




Parents

I'm so sorry
If I have offended
Didn't mean to shock you
When you were undefended
And I admit it
That I just pretended
To be sweet when all I really got
Is nothing but rot

And now you're here
Listening to this
Nothing of value
Nothing worth a piss
Just a lot of venom
Thats easily dismissed
Or maybe truths
That linger in the mist

I say I'm sorry
But I don't feel it
In my soul
Just another attempt
To fill an empty hole
Trying to light a fire
To warm a soul so cold
The miserable story of life
So old, too many times resold

Dismiss all of this
Because it's all fake
Or maybe it hit you
Like an earthquake
Chills down your spine?
Knees that start to shake?
Something in your soul
That maybe aches?

Oh, its torture
Yes, I know
Only one way out
Though so many ways to go
The reality we face
And that none of us know
Is what's waiting for us
At the end of this show

Maybe nothing?

Is that a hope?



Maybe Nothing


I feel everything but show nothing.
I smile when I want to scream.
I push people away then beg them to stay.
I want closeness but I'm terrified of it.
I blame myself for everything.
I don’t know who I am.
I say I’m fine when I’m not.
I fear being a burden.
I fall apart in silence.
I punish myself for needing love.
I hate being seen but hate being invisible more.
I don’t trust anyone fully.
I expect abandonment even when I’m loved.
I second-guess every word I say.
I isolate to feel safe but feel worse when alone.
I crave connection then feel trapped by it.
I apologize for existing.
I feel guilt for things I didn’t do.
I downplay my pain so no one leaves.
I remember every rejection.
I replay every conversation.
I absorb other people’s moods.
I pretend I don’t care when I care too much.
I want to disappear without being forgotten.
I keep quiet so no one hates me.
I fear being too much and not enough.
I fake stability to stay accepted.
I feel broken but act put together.
I never ask for help but wish someone would notice.
I survive by staying silent.




Quiet

Nothing is real, except my words. AI generated musical madness.

Please don't follow me. I'm unworthy.

Parents

EvaDedd