don't wanna stay (prod. boyfifty)

i just wanted to know ft. spookybands (gaxillic)

<3
soundcloud.com/eoin-disney

Eoin Disney:
i wish it was the right time
i wish you were right there
i miss you in the nighttime 
i miss you when i'm scared
told her listen to the starlight
as i kiss you from the moon
and when you glisten in the sunlight
you're shaping shadows in my room

Greenwood:
the shades been drawn for so long
i dont know why i've been here
a summer passed without your laugh
i still hear it so clear
i wonder why it happens now
left to figure out
how the pieces of me suffocate in the weeds intact
told you that its good, its getting bad

listening to rover in your attic
sleeping in til 6 i know it after
i had marked the page to save the passage 
something about the pain that doesn't happen
i wonder if your neighbours figured out at all
i wonder if you saved yourself at a cost of what we lost

Eoin Disney:
i wish it was the right time
i wish you were right there
i miss you in the nighttime 
i miss you when i'm scared
told her listen to the starlight
as i kiss you from the moon
and when you glisten in the sunlight
you're shaping shadows in my room

Greenwood:
light we couldn't see but i'm sure that its hitting
i'd be down for a week, i'd be down for a minute
see the scope of your life when its already finished
kinda strange at the end, feeling like the beginning
and i know what you'd say but i'm glad that you didn't
put my life on a shelf for a job and its killing
cause i've been fucking up
i just need to come around
figure out the proper way to hold you but its different now
i just couldn't figure out

time had taken hold of me, bury me
take control like its kerosene 
in my head its invisible, what's that mean on a principle?
when its dark i could speak but i regret it so easily
if you promise to forget i'd tell you just what it means to me
to be out again
fucked up with the sound effects
heard he made it overseas i hope he knows i'm proud of him
happy so we call it that
second summer came to pass, i've been working late
cause no ones waiting for me coming back

cycle through the lens of the moment
i couldn't see what was coming
i tried to fix it when its over 
cause i thought that it wasn't

Eoin Disney:
i wish it was the right time
i wish you were right there
i miss you in the nighttime 
i miss you when i'm scared
told her listen to the starlight
as i kiss you from the moon
and when you glisten in the sunlight
you're shaping shadows in my room

Bloom (w/ Eoin Disney)

produced by @uvshy
thanks cam for pic
<3

i should be honest 
and i can be honest 
ill burn all my bridges 
and fulfil my promises to you

ill bury my sins deep in my garden 
was not my intention to be such a burden 
and i 

when everythings unjust 
theres nothing left here 
its all collecting dust 
right on my shelf dear

nothing before this 
it plays and it torments 
quite some time its been dormant
and my efforts exhaustive 

deep in the forest 
my mind such a torment
im unearthing burdens 
and im all alone and im

when everythings unjust 
theres nothing left here 
its all collecting dust 
right on my shelf dear

lalala

burden (prod. shy)

bones that snap like a branch
i can’t deal with this anguish
freezing cold, no plans
crawling home, i’m stranded
i cannot give it up
i try to give a fuck
i’m abandoned
don’t tell me what it was
i dealt with my own luck
i can’t stand it

i’ll freeze my soul
don’t breathe when im walking alone
hear your voice thru the phone
won’t talk back to you if you call

just leave me on the highway
i decide to run away
i know you hope i’ll change my mind and come to you another day
but imma do it my way
don’t come by my place
if i don’t return by saturday

coming down, i feel fine now
i can’t let anybody find out
on the walk back to my house
time moves slower, it’s frightened

bones that snap like a branch
i can’t deal with this anguish
freezing cold, no plans
crawling home, i’m stranded
i cannot give it up
i try to give a fuck
i’m abandoned
don’t tell me what it was
i dealt with my own luck
i can’t stand it

stranded (santana)

it's hard

lyrics:
i scribbled symphonies of peace to cope with finding out the truth
worked as needed reaching what middle school me would think was cool
fiddling pens and pencils pensive wasn’t picky with the tool
i’d use for some naive translation of my angst and fragile mood

i can’t afford it now

growing pains replaced with what the bills are like in winter now
since the cold ascended i can’t shake the taste of poetry
phonetically imperfect pretty speech protruding out of me
im cramming syllables to cry of colder temps and picture books
reliving twisted memories romanticizing what it took
to be alive surviving prerip jeans and social trends
extending my insistence on reliving those remember when’s

it’s a fucked up toxic endeavor

middle child needs attention to feel valid who’da guessed it?
choose an evening to feel hollow with my grief i’ve been selective
been a lot of things over the years but never been objective
i’m a passive dude

some would call it sitting fence and when i’m honest i probably would too
at my expense i picked the easiest escape when i could
now im desperate to do something i should

cause there’s something bout finality that scares me
wavered care perpetuated the impression that i’m distant and aware
of ticking hours minutes seconds sticking strictly to my regiment
rejected any message i was yet to learn my lesson
started strong and i accepted that’s enough to use the leverage
and projected progress farther now it’s a little more than hard
to understand i’m on a limit always finish weaker than i started
know how to begin but stutter further in the tempo how ironic

looking in the mirror a song by melmige thank you for listening [prod. eeryskies]

~2300~
produced by @itsbrvski
hosted by @ytstatic

Lyrics:

[Chorus]
I let you hurt me out of fear
I might be alone
I’m scared
I’ll lose everyone I love while i’m here Now i’m 23
Path’s unclear
It’s fine if i’m walking on the line
Fine weather’s on the way
Don’t need a diagnosis
There’s damage in my brain
Stone mind it’s hopeless
To think i’ll change fate
Eye’s cried and ocean and said i’m okay

[Verse]
What’s the count on the favors i have to cash in
I’m doing damage control for you in your absence
And what’s an ounce when i’ve seen it traded for friendship 
I’d pay it all out of pocket to see my friends again
Cause our bonds don’t fit in black bags
And our name’s they write on toe tags
This shit is so sad
When all we had were examples of how to not live
We’re just statistics
No one expects you to win

“I’m sick of burying my fucking friends” 
“I’m sorry”
“I should’ve done more”

[Chorus]
I let you hurt me out of fear
I might be alone
I’m scared
I’ll lose everyone I love while i’m here Now i’m 23
Path’s unclear
It’s fine if i’m walking on the line
Fine weather’s on the way
Don’t need a diagnosis
There’s damage in my brain
Stone mind it’s hopeless
To think i’ll change fate
Eye’s cried and ocean and said i’m okay

i might be alone, i'm scared w/ brvski

prod. kaydo

lyrics

(wont you leave me alone
dont you leave me alone)

(there’s blood on my coat
blood on my shoes
blood on my shirt
blood on my heart)

(no, no, i’m notahero)

on this sidewalk i lay down and throw up
i’ll sacrifice
i want you to be happy even if i’m not
carry me to my house like i’m afraid to walk
i reach out to help
and you try to chop my hands off
baby just try to see beauty in the little things
i know there’s plenty evil in the world
but i got good in me
she know what to say to make me stay up
i wanna achieve my dreams
but i can never get them till i wake up

but it’s so hard to let go
i’m finally happy i’ll seal this memory in a photo
you say ur sick of me and it makes my stomach hurt
but i tried my best for what it’s worth
feel like all my songs get boring by the 2nd verse
you said it goes from bad to good
but i feel bad to worse
don’t feel bad
i felt this way, way before you
but i’ll make sure your life is good cuz i adore you
sipping it slow
i will not walk with crow
how can you tell me what’s good for me
like you would know
i told you the answer a long time ago
real life’s gonna hit you like a cannonball
and that fall, feels like yesterday
and when you told me, i hope that you know that i prayed
your mind can do wonders if you take control
everyone i’ve met has tried to kill my soul

on this sidewalk i lay down and throw up
i’ll sacrifice
i want you to be happy even if i’m not
carry me to my house like i’m afraid to walk
i reach out to help
and you try to chop my hands off
baby just try to see beauty in the little things
i know there’s plenty evil in the world
but i got good in me
she know what to say to make me stay up
i wanna achieve my dreams
but i can never get them till i wake up

chop my hands off (prod. kaydo)

im sorry that its been a while
the time had made a heart to mend
find me in another life
i swear id try as hard again

a catalyst in heavy dark
your voice and how the bleeding stops
breath in a cold room to comfort
the surface im under for two years in sunder

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

i know its been a long time

silence feels like dying
i dont mind it
i cant find you in colours i had learned to know
olive skin in amber tones, cedarwood in maple grove
eyes low the night before i drove you home
said one day we could have our own
so why am i still here alone?

did you know then it was broken?
thought you cried in the car cause it still felt so far
but instead its just not what you want

fade out, start to forget me
soften the dead leaves of somebody else
brave now, but i know its early
and you couldn't hurt me but try to again

all that it brings
cold in the spring
whats the point of waking up
if not for you again?
i dont know me now
i dont know me now

Mount Hood

lyrics

Lord knows theres not a lot left for me
so ill just move along
i know you like to watch me hurt
but jokes on you i cant feel at all
i cant trust my mind
with these fucking with drawals
but i dont need anybodys help with this
your fingers on my lips
your face in my hands
we talk early morning
write your name in the sand
want this feeling to last forever, i know
she asked do i want to live forever, i dont
said im way too much for you
but im not that much at all

lets say this was all a lie
wake up in the sunrise
would you come and find me
said youd meet me in another life
i wish i had some extra hours at the end of the day
cuz lately i dont even got not time to cry
wish i could make something that sounded right
wish i could help you live a happy life

if i was living forever the goal is my shelter 
shielding me out from everything that ive lost 
if your goal was forever we messed it up early 
on in the span of what could have been 
oh in the span of the time that ive spent 
lamenting the thoughts of another night in 
wish i could wake up in the evening like we did too many times back then 
but you don’t have to think like that 
that’s where I think it all began then we 
separate like the tide and the sand 
locked in another memory of regret and shame 
cant forget when i first spoke your name 
id rather not

lets say this was all a lie
wake up in the sunrise
would you come and find me
said youd meet me in another life
i wish i had some extra hours at the end of the day
cuz lately i dont even got not time to cry
wish i could make something that sounded right

another life w/ lil booj (p. king theta)

from my soul
featuring: @greenwood2000
produced by: @trplgmni
art by: @tamagotchu

lyrics:
can you blame me for the reply?
couple months had to get by
now instead of waiting outside
i found a way to live a new life
another lens, check the replay
look at all the shit thats been changed
always tough in the deep grey
but i made it out unscathed
if i don’t even remember
its because i’m doing better
wooden necklace & a keen eye
gotta feeling that i’m

blinded by the downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

greenwood: 
killing time before the door
more than life, more than you know
thought it's different, i was told

lost touch the way it is
further from the places that we've been
despite the mess i'm in
over and over
the state i'm waking in
the bed's been feeling colder
i'm ashamed to say it doesn't fit anyone without you
never did

i'd wait for you in Spring
i'm changing in the worst way
i'm holding out again this time

(gotta feeling that i’m blinded by the)
downpour outside your house
i’m getting out more, saving for a shred of my doubt
i’ll stick around, tour the places that you care about
i find it funny we’re broken, with just how well that we’re spoken
it took time for me
to get a grasp on what’s real
could you tether to me?
i think i can finally see
a wound so tender it healed
now you can tether to me, baby

burden (prod. shy)

evergarden ❀

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