The OG Version of At War with Myself

My father calling me a pussy, at a young age, run to my room leave me be
I just really, really wanna be, so lonely, oh can’t you all see, that I’m mentally
At War with Myself, my feelings thrown on the shelf
Thoughts cast away, to last way longer
In the depths of my mind they linger
They come to me when I’m in thought
In the front of my mind they are caught
Causing me to question myself
Am I really enough for myself?

Was once told I meant nothing to my own father
Causing me to mentally dig farther 
Into my own mind, in time, will I find, myself in this life
I don’t know, nor do I know where the end of the road
Will take me, All I know is I’m lonely, and I keep on questioning
If I’m really living a life worth living, or maybe there’s something I should be doing
I don’t know if I’m enough, so I act tough, to get rough fucks of my stuff
I just need you to fuck off
Let me go and walk it off
Get my mind of things, smoke alot
I have alot on my mind so I need pot
Trauma coming, reaping me of my good time
Seeping in and committing the greatest crime
Causing me to no longer be fine

The only real-fig I have is this brother of mine
The only teacher of mine, teaching me to be the best man though I don’t know if I can
 oh can’t you all see, that I’m mentally
At War with Myself, my feelings thrown on the shelf
Thoughts cast away, to last way longer
In the depths of my mind they linger
They come to me when I’m in thought
In the front of my mind they are caught
Causing me to question myself
Am I really enough for myself?

Pushing me even further past the point I was before
Trying to be like the man who inspired me, I’m at war
With the image of the man I adore, so I push myself even more
For approval, but still I struggle, to find my hold, my passion to make this life whole
I’m told I’m doing something right, but then I’m told im doing it wrong, and then we fight
And then I question, if they were right, I just need a light to cure this blght 
  nI’m a lost soul, without a hold, to whom he is, and so he’s pissed
At himself for not breaking out of the cell
And discover who he truly is, without the words of his
Haters holding back for that even later
He blossoms, into stardom and even gets his own fandom

I don’t even know what I wanna be so I flee from myself
The words of others start to define me, turning to an NPC 
,oh can’t you all see, that I’m mentally




At War with Myself (OG Version)

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At War with Myself (OG Version)

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