I'm spilling red wine on my bed
I'm taking photos and hitting send
In the blue light glow
At 11:59
Mmm
And my glass broke at the stem
I'm soaked in cheap merlot again
As the world keeps on spinning
Just outside

At midnight
The comedown is quick and cruel and light
Another year settles heavy over me
Over me
What is 21 good for?
Other than a pass through the front door
To all the shit I've been doing since 18
18
"Good thing you've got a sense of humor"
I say to myself in the mirror
Mmm
Happy birthday to me

In the morning I'll go for a drive
And pretend to know why
I'm throwing punches
At my scrappy self-esteem
Mmm
I say to my mom, "I'm caught in the crossfire,
I'm teetering on the tightwire"
She says,
"It was never meant to work out perfectly"

But in all my dreams
Everything is clear-cut and clean
And when I speak I say exactly what I mean
I mean
What is 21 good for?
Other than sneaking through the backdoor
And blowing out the heavy smoke screen
Smoke screen
"Good thing you've got a sense of humor"
I say to myself in the mirror
Mmm
Happy birthday to me

What have I been doing my whole life?
Idly sitting by
Waiting for something to happen to me
Mmm
I never was a go-getter
But I'm trying to do better
Hold hesitation to the flame
And let it burn entirely
Let the ashes point me north
To what I'm looking for

At midnight
The comedown cuts through me like a knife
One more year settles heavy over me
Over me
I guess 21 is good for
A hard shove out the door
And making me question everything
Mmm
"Good thing you've got a sense of humor"
I say to myself in the mirror
Mmm
Happy birthday to me

21 (live take)

with the ever-wonderful faith zapata :) (@faithcore on TikTok, @faithzap on IG)

punisher (faith & jake’s version)

a new song! stream on spotify and apple music too if u wanna :) enjoy!
lyrics:
i guess i don't see the point in trying to make plans 
if they just fall through in the end 
i guess i don't think i should be around anybody else 
at least for tonight 

and if you see me, and you think i look sleepy 
im exhausted, and the two mean different things 
and if you see me, and i look like i could go catch some sleep 
i'm really tired, and it wont help just to drink some tea 

im having one of those depressive episodes again 
don't wanna leave my bed and my head is really negative 
they usually come and go, when the sun peeks out and i'll feel fine again 
i'm always feeling low when im having a depressive episode 

there's just so much i could be doing 
instead of sitting here in my room 
wallowing my life away 
i hate that i cant get myself to do literally anything else 
but sleep and cry all day 

and if you see me, and you think i look sleepy 
im exhausted, and the two mean different things 
and if you see me, and i look like i could go catch some sleep 
im really tired, and it wont help just to drink some tea 

im having one of those depressive episodes again 
don't wanna leave my bed and my head is really negative 
they usually come and go, when the sun peeks out and i'll feel fine again 
i'm always feeling low when im having a depressive episode 

i'm always feeling low, oh oh oh 
hmmm 

im having one of those depressive episodes again 
don't wanna leave my bed and my head is really negative 
they usually come and go, when the sun peeks out and i'll feel fine again 
i'm always feeling low when im having a depressive episode 

im having one of those (one of those) 
depressive episodes 
(episodes) again 
don't wanna leave my bed and my head is really negative 
(head is really negative) 
they usually come and go, (come and go) 
when the sun peeks out and i'll feel fine again 
i'm always feeling low when im having a depressive episode

depressive episode

i wrote this bc i missed harry and recorded it bc watermelon sugar teas

watermelon bubblegum

for now (from my bathtub)

a song about not missing someone (but actually missing them)

i don’t miss you.

Best problem- Adam Melchor (unreleased)

here's a little song I wrote a year ago - it's about the grief of missing somebody you can no longer love.

lyrics:

v1:
It’s morning in your eyes
so my nights, they don’t need the light
your seasons take their sweet time
still, my bedroom’s perfumed of last july
and I’d be fine, someday soon
if only he were you

 v2:
he lets me take my time 
and I let him take you off my mind 
I don’t reach for you in shifting paradigms
yet, I search for you in his eyes
and I’d be fine, someday soon
if only he were you

bridge:
when you were with me
when I was sixteen
and tangled in you
oh, let me just stay here
I’ll pack up and leave soon
I swear I’ll forget you
just let me stay here, my dear

v3/outro:
‘cause it’s morning in your eyes 
and my nights are needing the light

if only he were you - (demo)

Hi, I’m AxelGabi. This is my first ~release~ ahah. I’ve always loved writing songs and expressing what’s on my mind. This one’s about the stupid boy who I call my ~first love~. Okay thank u for listening ahah:)

Last Time You’ll Hear It

when u wash ur hair

are we flesh and bones,
are we just a dream?
are we lost or found,
or in between?
will we ever get where we wanna be?
did we invent heaven to keep us in line?
like the stars and the moon are the ones telling time,
nothing could stop me from wondering why,
but you’re one less question,
does the sky get tired or holding our prayers,
or do they even make it up there?
even if i could see behind the curtain
maybe the knowledge would be just a burden,
still wouldn’t stop me from feeling uncertain,
but you’re one right answer
that never keeps me guessing
some understanding,
you’re one less question

one less question,
you’re one right answer
you’re one less question

one less question - lennon stella

born to be the village bard, forced to post my songs on the internet

depressive episode

faith zapata

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