Holy crab is this the first tie in FRB vs FRB???

[EDIT: When I made this battle, I did not consider how my voice acting as lean could be insensitive. While it was never my intention for the voice to play into racial stereotypes, I now recognize it was inappropriate to take it in the direction I did. Had this battle been made today, I would not have made those same choices. I apologize for any discomfort I may have caused. ]

This battle was made after Cam Steady challenged his discord server to create a rap battle between Mug Root Beer and Lean (the drug), and the first to submit a competent battle would win. I was the first contestant to submit and thus the winner. This is the first CRB* I've gotten paid for.

(Prod. RAPBATTLE-ENS)
 
Thumbnail By: Shimario
Written By: Me
Mixed By: Me
Lean: Me
Mug: Me

Mug:
They walk in the super bowl party asking where mug is at
Lean’s what people mean when they speak about death to mumble rap
You styro-phony can’t believe pre-teens are drinking sprite and codeine
No caffeine needed, my taste too high a dosage - die by OD

Summer, winter, any season - sale numbers stay floatin'
You can drink it, freeze it, eat it, fact is root beer’s simply goated
And you know it, got you foaming like a solo cup for this verse
So I’ll pour one for my homie, R.I.P. sizzurp

Lean:
I know that this dog don't think he fucks with hip hop
My drink gets you faded we must’ve got our shit swapped
You sounded stale, man every line’s running flat
You gotta mix it for the rebels, stop catering to their dads

I don’t need no stupid ads, I’m at every party worth being in 
Put your ass on the floor like we trappin’ up with the EDM
You can’t compete I’ll murk ya, They love the lean we purple
Red and Blue - run from the cops at the scene when we leave you murdered

*This battle is not considered an official addition to the Central Rap Battle canon. It is a seperate series called Central Rap Battles*. For this reason, it can be submitted for BOTY and BOTM in addition to my other series Central Rap Battles.

Central Rap Battles*: Mug Root Beer vs. Lean (the drug) [READ DESC.]

Battle Introduction: Oh hey there! Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members against well...anything. This time we got the creator of Live Rap Battles and self-Tony-Stark-associate, Michael Stark battling against Red Bull enthusiast and the guy carrying that game before his bra-less wife came in, Ninja! Two streamers enter the battle, who will leave victorious?

Michael Stark: Hey Ninja! Ligma!
Ninja: What’s ligma?
Michael Stark: LIGMA BALl-

LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR FRB VS ANYTHING!
MICHAEL STARK!
VERSUS!
NINJA!
BEGIN!

Ninja verse 1:
Alright guys, I’ve got something special in store for today’s stream
Firing shots at a writer who forces in some lame memes
In all his lines, unless he’s posting shit jokes on Youtube 
With your production, seems you need a Mixer more than I do
I guess your ideas and matchups aren’t too bad 
It’s a shame you make it a game and give trust to your chat 
That stuff’s wack and it proves this guy’s a big dummy
Cause your first mistake was thinking FRB could be funny

Michael Stark verse 1:
Oh hey there! Before I go in, I gotta thank my sponsors
Default dancing on your grave cause you know I’m fuckin baller
Jumping from platform to platform so you can milk the bucks? 
I gotta say that’s...

CJ:
Don’t say it. 

Michael Stark: 
Pretty fucking sus! 
So it’s Ninja up against Staaaark, where the fuck do I even staaaart
You’re doin’ your part breaking kids hearts but I’ll tear this bitch apaaaart
Though I doubt I’ll even hear any more of your shit
Cause it’s a fucking Ad Royale tryna to watch you on Twitch 

Ninja verse 2:
THE FUCK YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT? YOU AIN’T TOUGH BITCH
HERE’S A NINJA PACIFIER. NOW WHY DON’T YOU SUCK IT?!
STREAMING OR RAP TRACKS, NO MATTER WHAT I RUN IT
THIS DUMB BITCH DOESN’T SEE THAT HIS ASS IS GETTING PUNTED

Michael Stark verse 2:
I’m not seein’ movement! You were at the top but what happened?
Thought your books were novel, now you’re a straight up has-been
With that weak mindset of yours, you can catch these hands, bitch
I’m carrying this battle! Now make me a fucking sandwich

Ninja verse 3:
Read my book: “How to get good” with those lines you’re typing
Ban you from this battle, two words: “stream sniping” 
Can’t take off as a streamer, need some Red Bull for wings?
Put those trash rhymes next to part 2 of the Rap Battle Sins
So what I milk the bucks? You’re only known for milking bits 
Rigging for Omega Mart to win wasn’t the best move, was it? 
I lead the live community, I could have you thrown out
But this catboy’s a better fit for Alinity’s house (PUSSY!)

Michael Stark verse 3:
You know I got your wife how I like her: bra-less 
My raps like how I'm takin this dub: flawless 
After this bout, we know how you'll be: jobless
Looks like I just killed Ninja, there goes my career being spotless!
This Ninja ain’t sneaky, have you heard the way he yells, dude?
Cause man, you say “fuck” “piss” and “shit” more than I do!
Go back to taking Twitter Ls, this dude’s a disgrace 
We’ll see you next time, “goodnight” says the trollface

WHICH STREAMER WAS THE MOST POG? 
WHO DO YOU WANNA SEE IN HELL NEXT?
WELL YOU DECIDE!
THIS HAS BEEN FRB VS ANYTHING! FUCK OFF.

Michael Stark - The homie
Ninja - Serena
CJ - Commander Jacob 
Written by: JustGamer + Michael Stark
Beat by: Insanebeatz
Arranged and Mixed by: Serena

Michael Stark vs Ninja - FRB vs. Anything

ra
p battle
get it cuz sizing up lol 

Lyrics:

Joltik:
*incomprehensible high pitched rapping for two bars*

Eternatus:
Um, hey um, speak up, I can’t hear you over the beat tag, you’re too sma-

Joltik:
OH FUCK OFF, I WASN’T LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
ETERNAL IS RIGHT, OLD ASS, TURN UP THE GOD DAMN HEARING AID

Lemme stoop down to your level
A little baby Poké fucker that I gotta meddle
I’m a fuckin menace spittin disses and Electro Ballin ‘em
How does the biggest Poké have the smallest brain of all of ‘em
Fish bone bitch I could snack on
I’ll put the smack on a motherfuckin wack fraud
Hack of a god damn god, you’re half of a bod
Skeletal and skinny, no fuckin chance of winning
You’re the Eternamaximum on the little bitch scale
Big physically, heart smaller than my tail
Wait, do I even fuckin have one? Shit! No that’s the joke now
So I’ll jolt into your THROAT NOW
I’ll Bug Buzz a bastard who won’t be much faster
Once I drop your speed stat and make you a wussy
Crawl on your body, make webs of disaster
And shoot my string into your wife’s Eternussy
I’m too fuckin nimble for you to manage
I call bullshit on that type-advantage
For real, your attacks would miss me, god
You can’t even TRY to piss me off
Trapped in silence, you’re the small one
You got the Dragon without the balls, son
So drop the mic before you even start
And Suck my Punch cause this about to get Dark
You’re a gimmick, and that is all!
Hacked ass max stats, raps that stall
I did not hear your verse yet but I’m sure it’s fucking ass
I gotta finish this recording cause I’m almost late for class
I’m Joltik, your disses won’t stick, you’re an old shit
How revolting, boring ass legend just lookin like your molting
Holding onto your own schtick that you’re huge, but it’s true
There others surely looking to sue
GOD I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
RIP YOUR FLESH OFF THE VISIBLE BONES YOU GOT AND I’LL EAT YOU FOR LUNCH
GOD… DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIT
I’m the size of a Flabebe and I still tower over you
Cuz by your gen the fans have stuck to the older dudes
And that whole biggest ‘mon shit we’re debating?
You’re made of bones yet you’re still compensating

Eternatus:
Chill, Bear Grylls, got an ice beam for ya
I regret your attention, I should’ve ignored ya
You’re the size of an atom to me, you did not Joltik me off
Actually, that’s enough
Is it even worth going against you?
I’m immense, dude, it’d take years for you to even get half way up my body
This must be a joke or mistake
I’m the original giant, you’re tiny and fake



Wailord:
I wouldn’t exactly call you original
If you don’t wanna fuck with Joltik I’ll do it instead
I’ll whale on a bug, squash him down till he’s dead
So leave this battle behind to the real big boy
This snake dragon mon’s a kid’s toy
So Joltik I heard that you like to spit words
But all you spew is insults, abhorrent, absurd
For a type-advantage, I’m not shocked at all
You’re a fighter, but I’m a writer, so let’s brawl
Bro, what kind of cypher was that?
Didn’t let the other guy rap until almost two minutes in
I get why he wanted to leave
You were so annoying he didn’t think it was worth it to win
So why don’t you shut your mouth for once and enter mine like the plankton bitch baby mini bug you are
Or do you wanna keep the exterior diva personality of a 4-inch dude with a 40-foot tall ego that won’t get you far
I’m a lord, you’re a tick, get the difference, bozo?
In both height and rap fights, you’re gettin low sco’s
My raps are so watery they’ll make your mom wet
And then I will probably crush her to death (oops)
I’m the lord of the whales, and leader in boat sails
You’re just a fucking prick who invented epic fails
In this battle of big versus small
Wailord used boiling rhymes and Scalded a bug’s balls!


Chao as Joltik and Eternatus
Nekomancer Jade as Wailord

Written by Chao
Mixed by Nekomancer Jade
Thumbnail by Chao

Joltik vs Eternatus - Pokemon Rap Battle #13

JEFF: 
It’s the CEO of Amazon plus the richest man on earth,
I can tell by the way you waste money, your IQ is what you're worth!

You should purchase those rats you sell, to take care of this pest!
Better hope you have good luck, to get out of this mess! (Ohhhh)

Claiming good rhymes and bars? Not since HP Lovecraft
Has someone had trouble spelling out “war” or “Cat”

You dropped out of school? Ok, now drop a good rhyme! 
You got rich off of luck, didn’t earn a single dime! (Ohhh)

I got the Slick suit, and Lex Luther appearance
You got peasant clothing, straight outta the clearance

I’m slicker than you, even during my midlife crisis!
Cuz I’m beating this man, fast like my same day delivery! 

TIMOTHY: 

Make way, make way! For the thy bestest lord ever!
I’ll slay, I’ll slay! This washed up terror!

Saying I’m dumb? Well, look at my riches! (Ha)
I could make double of that, with your workplace conditions!
Do like your father, and just go back to the circus!
Cuz I see nothing but a clown, failing at his purpose!

I’ll tell you, Dr.Egghead, to hide away, you hack!
Do what I say, for I pull my musket and attack! (Saying ARGH! At the same time as he says attack )

Got my freedom suit on, like a true American patriot 
While one hurricane is enough to start the riots!

People like you, are the type to try to make me bankrupt, 
I swim in gold, you’re swimming in the debt that your company has brought!

JEFF: 

face it, Timothy, this will be the second time you die!
but trust me when I say, you won’t get away this time!

Like Jesus, man, your brain was split into fours!
Even on Audible, I never heard a story dumber than yours!

My flow is more fire than the Amazon forest, man!
With 2 day delivery, I could deliver more bed warming pans!

I made OVER BILLIONS, just working in my garage!
I wouldn’t listen to your book, a pickle for the knowing ones! 

If it weren't for Sam’ O Nella, you would have been forgotten!
Like I’m coming back from space, face the bars that I’m dropping!

Have a lookout for your win, they’ll be none, from what I’ve heard,
Check your ring doorbell, cuz I just delivered a better verse!

TIMOTHY: 

Disrespecting your superiors again, Jeffery?
I’ll have to pull out the ol’ cane for that Blasphemy!

And people do actually know me, you must be uninformed
Cause like the coal I sell, you’re getting burned

I’ll call you a continental dollar, cuz you're getting owned!
Struggling to beat Musk for the richest man’s throne!

You’re a wannabe- while I’m an OG, 
All I need to beat thee - is continental currency

Jeff Bezos vs. Timothy Dexter- Rap Battle! (Ft. Matt Raichous & KingMewtwo)

Andy Voiced By Matt Raichous
James Voiced By RaccoonBroVA
Written By Jenni No Mercy
Thumbnail By Matt Raichous



Beat: Lethal - Hard Dark Angry Trap Beat | Prod. By Dansonn Beats

Andy:

When it comes to reviews and reboots, this Psycho knows a lot.
I've witnessed previews and scenes, dude, threaded through boring plots
But the most drawn out of installment of any horror flop
Hasn't left me as cold as this guy's jokes and whole corny shlock!
Now, in ‘17, your little counting game had hit Youtube
And now you rely on Zoran and co for those extra views.
Can’t say I’m impressed by your resume. Your industry chops don’t mean shit to me!
Every word I say leaves you in Misery. While you would need triple the words just dissing me!
I fought with Jason, came face to face with a Myers’ knife
The biggest threats you’re facing are with those copyright strikes!
Leatherface must love James since he’s so bare-boned.
So treat your verse like your wedding and leave it postponed
And with these flows, I’ll leave you choked up as the plot thickens
The way you run from Thanks-killing 3, this turkey is more of a chicken!
No asylum can contain these insane flows when I’m spitting raw
Kill a beat so hard, you might as well give me that golden chainsaw!

James:

Hey there, it’s James A Janisse, and I’m here to say in the least
I’ve counted bodies, zombies and results of cannibal feasts
But I still can’t handle this geek, disgusting humor’s astounding
4 million subs still compounding! You have what, 50 thousand?
And I get bloody on tracks, it’s your Final Destination
So there’s no chance to attack the Youtube Horror sensation
DID jokes are what you’re based on, you’re a racist tasteless sleaze
And if you really want a face off, I would throw the nacho cheese!

Andy:

Andy? I’m scared. Hey don’t worry little buddy.
Yeah. Let me grab the mic. I can turn this battle bloody.
Don’t muddy up my intentions, I’m climbing the ranks to be your replacement
While you hide behind all of your editors, I’m working solo in my basement!
I’m roaring like Rex, my special effects give my videos magic
The fact that the fans stick around for you spouting numbers is honestly tragic
This has-been is getting the Boot. Gonna curbstomp your face to end ya.
I’ll see you in hell. And when you get there? Tell me Andy sent ya!




James:

Think I’m impressed? Your repetitive jokes are lazy and petty
Wanna spit sharp, but it seems you’re stuck wielding a dull Machete!
So just get ready, James is aiming to slay, you can’t recover
And I’m crushing you harder than a sequel to Last summer!
Your life is a bummer, your parents were glad to have leave you abandoned
But keeping their corpses? Now you’re just stealing from Norman’s canon
And live in fantasies of slaughtering your therapist
Forced to bandage up your face, since even YOU were too scared of it!
You’re claim to be unique but all he has going for him
Is another grumpy horror version of an Angry VGN
Fighting the villains? Seen it. Destroying the movies? Seen it.
But violating a pastry for laughs? We really didn’t wanna see it!
And I couldn’t imagine your shlock fest making an impact
Thinking your rep is intact? I’ll shatter you like a Mandy axe!
You describe yourself as a Maniac, so maybe take some advice
Retire from your tired shtick. It'd be the first time you did something nice.

James A. Janisse Vs. Andy The Maniacal Cinephile - Jenni's Jammin' Battles

Thumbnail created by: Rabi
Mixed by: Serena

WHO WON?
https://forms.gle/AmaVXtC3PcnFtjhT6

Jofinity:
Hold up! It’s the King! Nobody better say shit
’Cause I’ll give him more than feedback that is bound to make him rage quit
You’re basic, your flow is boring, just face it: you’re so annoying
Replayin’ the same old story, defamin’ you more than Multi
If you’ve made a better battle than my Era 1, do tell
This right bloody bloke is just the Next Best Fel
Now I know you’ll throw a fit, so in advance, I’m sorry bro
But of everyone to lose to… you lost to Shimario

King Mewtwo:
Now I’ve been here longer, sonny, so I’d start taking notes
It’s the voice of the killer Jacks against the guy who can’t emote
Same tone, same flow. You’re so predictable, bro
Yo, you sound like Chills if he let himself go (oh)
Shimario only beat me by being a decent writer
You’d only beat me by rigging the poll with your subscribers
And my iMovie era topples your first one anyday
Cuz unlike your bonus editing, my vids actually differentiate

Jofinity:
Is this really what we’re doing? Surprised you made it a round
Give it 15 minutes, you’ll want all of that shit taken down
People talk about me, and you? Nobody gives a fuck
Hey psychic type, read people’s minds: hmm, you suck
So quit your stallin’, you really think that you’re poppin’?
(yuh) Cryin’ to Dani’s the only time that you’re ballin’
I’d say you’re SlowlyGettingBetter, but after this, it’s too late
Now go and run back to your real life friends… oh wait
Now unlike FRB, let me acknowledge your writing
Bring up the poll, but I actually HAVE people subscribing
You’ve been stuck in the double digits ‘cause this Brit is worse than Midge is
All the critics booed your vids until you quit it, tragic, innit?
Shit battles like YouTube Poops, but not a single one has Rosen
’Cause you’ll regret fighting me like when R was your opponent
The king thinks it’s an easy fight, but I’ll be taking the crown
In this battle, you’re like your popularity: going down!

King Mewtwo:
*yawn* You’re so boring to fight, dude
Hearing you rant makes me think we go too hard on Psytube
But here’s where you’re different: he owns up to his mistakes
While your unpopular opinions got us doing spit takes, ay
You treat your crew so bad, you should be running Dustin’s basement
This won’t be the first time a Brit has left you beat, shoutout to Rayyan
How I got this much material on you is anyone’s guess
Half of your in-jokes are just like your trim: dead.
Jofinity, you’re shit, you need to quit with overcasting Carrick
And you know what? Maybe go quit the community while you’re at it
The lines this crappy Cuomo clone spits are just making me Weeze
Covering up his subpar writing with fifty billion rhyme schemes
How can anyone like this kid, all he fuckin’ does is brag
And yet he still questions why he’s become FRB’s new punching bag?
You lost to a drawing, dude. We simply ain’t alike
Maybe ask Bowser for some tips on how to “flame the mic”

Jofinity Vs King Mewtwo

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of FRB vs Anything, which pits rap battle community members (or concepts in this case) against well...anything. In this pre-show for the rap battle inquisition (for legal reasons I have to say this battle isn’t a part of the inquisition), we head back to basics as the battle structure 8-8-4-4 goes against arial font itself. Which basic choice will prevail? How do you even make these things rap? Do bees actually have knees or is the expression a lie? At least one of these questions will be answered!

8-8-4-4: SimplyRazzy
Arial Font: Commander Jacob
Written by JustGamer
Beat by Epistra
Mixed and Mastered by Serena
Thumbnail by Fightmarker

8-8-4-4 verse 1:
Against this blank slate for blank pages, I’ll be making sure that
You’re losing to the granddaddy of rap battle formats 
The people know this OG is gonna be besting ya 
When you were made to be a straight up copy of Helvetica
I’m used cause I’m timeless, the classics can’t go wrong
You’re used because of people too lazy to change the font
Eight eight four four ain’t no bore, you’re not gonna be stopping me
But let’s see you try to prove that you’re good at typography 

Arial Font verse 1:
Got sleek flow against weak foes, motherfucker your time’s up
Don’t need to change my numbers in order to size up
I bring style to the table, take your pick and I can look that way
But I couldn’t find a good battle that uses you if I looked today 
This row of lines will be knocked over, he can’t take a hit
Just look at your equation, it leads to nothing but negatives 
My lines stays bold, yours is old and outdated
The most popular thing since Times New Roman that’s commonly hated 

8-8-4-4 verse 2:
That’s comical, sans any punches you thought were made
There are Ariels with better flow in The Little Mermaid
Your typeface is grotesque, it’s no wonder people hate you
Bruh, even Microsoft had to go on and replace you 

Arial Font verse 2:
Since 1982, I’ve been keeping it simplistic 
You can’t even be used as a good joke battle gimmick 
I command U to be under me, I’m staying on top 
Now I’ll leave you like modern bonus battles do: dropped

8-8-4-4 Vs Arial Font - FRB vs. Anything

Snakebite126 as Flowey
Quizzique as Marx
Written by Triple-Stabber
Chiseled by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Mixed by jort
Beat by Kustom
Cover art by M!CAH
Art by M&Matt

Flowey:
Howdy clownie, I am Flowey, wow you found me down the underground and
Golly! How about we lounge around the town and now we
Will become the best of friends
And something you should know of
That my lines are made with love
So you better - run into em!
Gee! It's quite funny that a jester can't stand up
Rolling on a ball, but you can't hop on this track, bud
You were blown up in a supernova
Future shows this useless foe was thrown 
and dude your owners used your trope for Magalor, stupid joker, 
I refuse to go and fuse with your Soul!

Marx:
Hey hey hey Kirby, look a flower's out and about
Devour him but I doubt you'd gain powers, so I'mma just out em without a plough
Just look at this plant, your roots' in the grass, you can't run the underground
I'd throw shade but I'll just wait til you wilt when the sun goes down
Oh, some lonesome crop is going photoshop? Oh no!
My total darkness tops the Hopes and Dreams of you owning your plot
Had the whole of Popstar beat, you never seen that as a kid cuz
Your parents and the kingdom made like my face: SPLIT UP!

Flowey:
Wow, with that black hole in your mouth, that verse sucked
You wished to be a God but you still couldn't beat Kirb up
Now this jester wants a fight? Hmm, this seems familiar
But besides that, being God's a wonderful idea!
WHAT AN IDIOT!
This demented jester messed up when he met a friend, 
the fella had tell em better get a wish, lies he fed and set him up
Next he's stepping in, entered in his wish
Menacing in this then Kirby ended him
So if you don't wanna be beat
Man, you shoulda just wished you were me!

Marx:
BUT NO! I wished to be G.O.A.T the control this whole land not a goat who got thrown in the dirt
I emerged as a bat, you just turned to a plant with a circle attack, and let's talk about that verse
That you spat, man, how does this plant not have his raps on point?! (hehehe)
Instead he's the prick: a thorn in side, and I won't let it slide
I’ll kill your ass with some pesticide!
And that whole damn philosophy "kill or be killed" was just really a shield
For a bit he was feeling this fear that was building
He saw the real villain and yielded, he quivered and reeled 
It was genocide and he was gonna die
Called to his friend and cried "please do not end my life"
Quickly willed them to spare him but, then
The sibling had killed, with no Chara-bout him (HAHAHAHA!)

Flowey vs Marx (ft. Snakebite126 & Quizzique). SIR Rap Battles

Welcome to another episode of MC Fawful Rap Battles! This battle pits the carnivorous plant from Super Mario, Piranha Plant, against the Seed Pokémon, Bulbasaur! Which one of these plants will win? That's for you to decide!

Credits:
MetaMachine as Bulbasaur
Alen as Piranha Plant
Mixed by jort
Cover-art by MC Fawful
Beat by Kustom

Lyrics:

Piranha Plant:
(Hey!)
Who let this Koopa Troopa out of Bowser’s fleet?
Well, it should be easy to beat when I already spit heat!
Don’t rumble or you’ll fumble, it’s a rose against a rookie!
Cause it’s clear with my roasts, you’ll be the only one that’s cooking!

Bulbasaur:
You drained all my energy with that start that just stalled,
But I’m sure you’re used to heat, with volcanos and all.
So if you got a bone to pick with me, then I’m amazed,
Since I’ll eat up this track to leave you packing for days! (ay!)
I planted seeds for generations of creatures,
You planted the seeds for Chain Chomps and other eaters!
Creeping around levels, yet you still think you tower?
But when I bring a FLUDD of flow, I’ll shut down this flower!
It seems your fans are the real Hidden Village,
Cause they haven’t piped up since your series begun,
You screwed over a plumber and you think that you’re a villain?
Well, deep down, you should know that this plant is #001!

Piranha Plant:
Please, I’ve got far more variety in my species!
Cause when it comes to Range, this Pokemon can’t precede me!
You think that you’re a trophy with the trainers, but it’s just a bore!
No need for a spray bottle when I go and sic’em more!
So bring your whole line in, I’ll leave them in PT!
You’d need to roundup a whole side to even try and beat me!
You’ll be looking shiny green if you think I’m pained at all,
Since your win is like you in Legends; unobtainable.
When people hear my lines, they start bobbing like Electrodome,
They hear your lines and they just want to go Home,
So it’s best you go back before my spit leaves you dissolved,
Cause I’ll leave you black and blue, except this dino won’t evolve.

Bulbasaur:
You really think you got the Theater moving with your rapping?
With just one move, I’d make this Piranha Panic!
I break through your shiny rocks, and your flowerpot vase!
So go back underground, cause Audrey’s taking second place!

Bulbasaur vs Piranha Plant - MC Fawful Rap Battles

Matt Raichous as Shaggy Rogers and Ron Stoppable

Beat by S!dek!ck
Written, Mixed, and Edited by Matt Raichous

--LYRICS--
SHAGGY
Like, man, you think it’s hard to be a sidekick in the background?
Try being out on the frontlines when a monster comes around
I’ve seen millions of ghouls that make me wanna stop and vomit
Like that freaky hairless thing you like to carry in your pocket

RON
Hey! Don’t talk about Rufus when your dog is a doofus
Like Dr. Drakken, I’m ruthless, while your whole series is stupid
It’s useless to step up to the plate and face off with the Fearless Ferret
I saved the world from invasion, while you’re disappointing your parents
An iron stomach that couldn’t handle my naco
You’re not a hero, dude, I know it’s hard to swallow
But when all you do is follow, and never speak your mind
It’s like you’re in denial of the role you were assigned

SHAGGY
You think you’re, like, funny, but buddy, you’re witless
Your jokes are, like, ham-Fisted Monkey business
Nothing you do could be seen as comedic
Except for, like, anytime you get defeated
You live up to your name, Ron, cuz, like, you’re Stoppable
You’re never a threat, like, the weakest I’ve met, like, at best, like, you’re maybe an obstacle

RON
Can you think of anything other than to tell me I’m unfunny?
At least my jokes had a budget, you were eating all of your money
Your bars are redundant, just like your animation recycling

SHAGGY
I’ve held strong for decades, one movie sent you spiraling
Your Disney Channel live action got some really poor reactions
Used to be crafted with passion, now there's not even a fraction
Just dollar signs in the eyes of the guys behind the scenes
As your franchise loses everything by pandering to teens
You’re incompetent, Ron, you only ever win by accident
Give up and be a villain, that’s the only time you’re adequate
An actuary masochist, who just can’t seem to take a hint
Pathetic as a hero, like, your sister is a better fit
Go back to camp Wannaweep for a better chance at survival
Like, man, I’ve Gottagrin knowing you won’t get a revival 
Tangled in your mangled plotlines, like, it's gotta be painful
To put in all that effort, just to have your pants around your ankles

RON
Woah, dude, chill out, ‘cause you shouldn’t bring up losses
When you have four movies that all failed to make a profit
You’re still a stinkin’ hippie, when it’s rough, you get running
Looks like military schooling just wasn’t worth your parents’ money
Fifty years later, you’ve still got the same show, pacing and plotlines, and even the same jokes
How does the saying go? Don’t fix what ain’t broke, too bad your franchise is stale like it’s bread, though
This Mad Dog’s Barkin orders, cuz you’re baked and couldn’t make it
And you’re puffing out your chest, but the viewers know you’re faking
While the audience still loves me two decades later
The only one who loved you was an alien invader
And later, when you’re rebooted for the fifteenth time
The made up legends of your legacy are getting left behind

SHAGGY
All that strength, and you still need your girlfriend to defend you you
No matter what you do, you’re a buffoon in the end, dude
Mock me for my running, I’ll prove you’re the bigger coward

RON
And how’re you gonna do that?

SHAGGY
With one percent of my power! (Zoinks!)
Going Super Shag when I’m fast on the track
Try to roast me but everything you say falls flat
Can’t match my flow, like, you’re going too slow
Wanna go toe to toe getting dragged through your show
You fell into my trap, man, like, you’re the live bait
Let’s unmask this hungry horror and put an L on his plate

RON
Alright, we get it, bro, you’re fast, but that’s not always a good thing
No wonder Velma stopped shagging with you and kept looking
Now, you crossed the finish line, but you’re still the biggest loser
After all, brochacho, I’m Un-Stoppable! Booyah!

Shaggy Rogers vs. Ron Stoppable - Epic Rap Battles of Nostalgia

A Bassy Samba style rap track remix of Faucet Failure

Faucet Flow

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