the things id do to be able to listen to this trough spotify is immense. god damn this one hurts so bad

I love your music so much, really makes me feel

you lost your dog in oceanside 
skin as sharp as a porcupine 
why are we so mortified 
to give it another try

i see you in your mothers eyes 
my skin is sharp like a porcupine 
why are we so mortified 
to give it another try

i don't care
i just want to 
i don't care

sleeping in the garden 
drinking on the weekend
cover me in blankets  
hold me like a secret

standing in the kitchen
everything is broken
wonder what's behind this
door i never open

everybody's watching
no one pays attention
i don't think i'm sick
but i think it's an infection

everything's a pattern
living is a sequence
drowning in a tidepool 
kiss me in the deep end

but i don't care
i just want to
touch your hair
and be beside you 
i don't care
i just like you
i'll cut your hair
i'll run away with you

you lost your dog in oceanside 
skin as sharp as a porcupine 
why are we so mortified 
to give it another try

porcupine

there is a darkness inside of your brain
and i don't think it'll ever go away
at least not entirely
through all that you try to be
you crawl and you hide beneath
all those layers of mountainside
the soil has calcified
you’re constantly wondering
if the monster will get to you
while you're navigating through
the labyrinth of everything

but i still like you even when the days are long
and i still like you through the cloudiness of the thickest fog
and i still like you through the months and months you were convinced it's gone
and i still like you a lot

i still like you even when the days are long
and i still like you through the empty space of a distant god
and i still like you through the years and years i couldn't get a job
and i still like you a lot

there is a darkness inside of your brain
and i don't think it'll ever go away
at least not entirely
through all that i try to be
i can feel it inside of me
like a bandage i couldn't close
a festering hologram
i'm sorry for everything
and now the monster has bitten you
and i would do anything
for you to roll up your sleeve
because the monster has bitten you
and all i'm trying to do
is show you where it's bitten me
it's bitten me

the labyrinth of everything

sleep

i hope you're okay

sing me something sweet to sleep to

teenage breakup song - dandelion hands

they'll like me when i'm sick

catnaps in an abandoned parking lot

start the day off with a weight
and stomach pain
turn away
a simple call for subtle change
but every day
feels the same

come to life
valentine
and walk beside me close
come to life
little thoughts of mine
the ones that i love most

i’m walking in circles where my dad
used to stand among the plants and
they’re growing taller than i can
up the wall
over the fence

my hands are high
they grab the vines
and begin to climb the post
why have i begun
where i started from
it’s a palindrome i wrote
i want leaving to feel like
i’m coming home

so i’ve gotta try
i’ll try
i promise to try
because with you and i
in the night
i feel fine
with just you and i
in the night
i feel fine

palindrome

great, isn't it great
to be held like your sisters baby
hate, you said you hate
when i just lay there like an empty body
but i don't listen and i don't care
i don't like it so get me out of here
i don't listen and i don't care
the smell of smoke
the taste of chamomile

i don't listen and i don't care
i don't like it so get me out of here
it's all so distant and i'm so scared
the smell of smoke
the taste of chamomile

oh no, think i'm in trouble
ten long years inside of this bubble
ha ha, look at him struggle
fuck my mouth and feed me your knuckles
oh no, everything crumbles
you found me inside of the rubble
ha ha, look at me struggle
begging for help from someone who's dead
i'm trying to decipher things that you said
but they only exist inside of my head
so no, i don't want to be calm anymore

chamomile

secretly leave the coffee shop
walk the avenue
make our way to the beach
your head resting on my knee
pretending to stare out at the sea
and i don’t know where anything goes
i don’t know where anything goes
i don’t know where anything goes
i don’t know where anything goes

i don’t like the weekends like i used to
show me all the weakness that i show to you
because i don’t know where anything goes
i don’t know where anything goes
there’s a man above us watching you perform
i bet he feels so alone

pretending to stare out at the sea (carlsbad, ca 2006)

no good at lying- charlie hickey cover

i record songs and write poems and i really hope you're having a good day.

the labyrinth of everything

flatsound

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valenpam

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