heaven2

splinters ft. abe garde

i wish that i was better but i just dont know how
i wanna do right by my girl so i can finally say vows
i swear im doing all it takes so im not letting her down
but every time i try to climb my demons pulling me down

i keep a smile up on my face but im just dying inside
i make a toast to all my failures while my soul running dry
i swear i only feel myself when im just too fucking high
its even better when im crossed and i know you wonder why

i gotta problem with myself, and i never feel safe
im holding trauma in my bones, got me feel like a slave
i wish that i could be myself i dont know how to behave
and i could blame this borderline but im too gone to be saved

i wear a mask, but its cracking with age
and im not worth it, less than minimum wage
i think that im a monster, let me me out of my cage
but if you do ill disappear to keep you safe from the rage

what would J do, thats some words to live by
im not coping, im just to get by
say im fine but i know its just a big lie
if you werent around i know id be up in my pigsty

im on saint johns bay, smokin three point five
when im this detached, give a fuck bout life
when im down and out, im reaching for the knife
know they call it self harm, but i call it my life

i swear that im trying, im doing my best
but sometimes its just hard with this weight on my chest
like im just tryna live, like no more and no less
like its hard every day guess its time i confess

if i die, middle of my sleep
i pray the Lord, that my soul He keep
im so messed up, and my roots run deep
i pray for forgiveness, i hope He see me

st johns bay pt 2

lyrics

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

i been pouring up some purple potions gotta better my flaws
youre right that i aint get the notion but still i called you
i think you think i have it easy baby what would you do if you were me
but who is me
swear im better off writing my eulogy
im so full of me
at the same time felt a decline in the way that im viewing me
im scraping up rust off my armor maybe that way i could get clean
i feel the atoms that make my being whole just fold and rot and die
she pour out red wine but she rolling brown eyes
i cant fight this battle baby theres a thorn in my side
it feels like too much energy just to try to survivie
i got none left im giving out pieces of my soul for this shit but the songs dropping right?
the songs drop on time
i fought a hard battle but the sword has dulled through time
i put this lighter to the blunt and watch it shine
it look just like a shooting star when im passing by

soon ill find out this shit taste like water when its late
i hope you satisfied my face stuck gray
youre gold, but i wear silver chains
yall make sure my funeral dont happen in the rain
they counted forty arrows when they made the case
i swear these crows dont do nothing for you except get you stuck
baby my cart is low so when we chill can you bring the blunt
cause im tryna smoke
im tryna smoke so much
im not the same man that you thought you knew
how better i was

better i was

thought u knew how better i was

scraping off the rust (p. kaydo)

prod hollowprpl
guitar by me

lyrics


hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it costs me my life
cuz i cant be sane again here in my mind
im alone
i see the sympathy die by the window
i really miss what we had
am i too cold?

the constants in my life arent constant anymore 
between you and me im not sober no more
i can die freely, id have no remorse
the meaning of life is to love and mines no more 
oh im horrible

hes gone now
and all he ever wanted was to be loved
can u calm down 
lately girl i know im messing up
oh im pissed now
and i can only focus what ive done
im a bitch now
i dont think it matters anymore
shut the fuck up
i dont wanna talk about this now
i just thrown up
like 2 or three times , im coming down
im just a no one 
and ill be nothing until im dirt
theres blood in my snot
and in my lungs and it fucking hurts

it’s not your fault. [swan dive] (hollowprpl x ash.)

ty mistral for the guitar <3

original song <3 : https://soundcloud.com/guardinmusic/inside

Lyrics

I bet you like the way that I
Sit inside on a Friday night
Doing nothing with my life
While you're out partying with other guys
But I'm not wise and these aren't lies
According to you it's all in my mind
But I see the things that they post online
And it makes me sick to my fucking spine
I worry a lot about the day you leave
'Cause the day you leave is the day I leave
And I think too much about suicide
About killing time, about time I try
Something new
'Cause this shit gets old
But I love the way that she says "I love you"
And I tried many times to rewind to the days you were mine
And I tried many times to erase what we made, what have I done?
'Cause a part of me died when you left in November that night
I think he's right, beside you telling you what to say to me, why?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?
Do I think what I think 'cause I think I'm in love with a lie?

inside (guardin cover)

lyrics
lock me in the studio, ill be fine 
every time i sleep she hears my teeth grind
ill give u my heart girl ion need mine
ill just let it go but can we rewind
this shit way too fancy, i got red wine
[REDACTED]
when im in the booth i feel my tears dryin
ill just chalk it up to some bad timing

i just wanna go back to my home , do u understand 
body parts enclosed inside this frozen land
i got a sixth sense the ghosts try grab my hands 
shawty u can see me thru the grains of sand
sands of time have fallen like the ottoman
i sit in these leaves , im the autumn man
i sit in these flames like im the fireman
oh ontop my desk u can see plenty cans

lock me in the studio, ill be fine 
every time i sleep she hears my teeth grind
ill give u my heart girl ion need mine
ill just let it go but can we rewind
this shit way too fancy, i got red wine
[REDACTED]
when im in the booth i feel my tears dryin
ill just chalk it up to some bad timing

the autumn man (branwen)

lyrics:
say what you will say, but you dont know me, huh
switching every minute cant control me, huh
sippin on the whiskey while i roll me up
leaning on the bottle how i cope, its part of growing up

i cannot escape the torture deep inside my brain
do my favorite shit but i know now its not the same
devil eating at me and its turned into my bane
wanna blow my brains out but i know im not Cobain

honestly i just hope that ill be here for christmas
for xmas, for xmas, for xmas
honestly i dont wish this on my enemies
enemies, enemies, im my own enemy

if you knew how fucked that i really was
i know youd disappear second shit get rough
but i learned to ride alone when the road get tough
you say forever but deep down i know im not enough

you probably hate all the ways that im beside me
im distraught about the things that still inside me
so its whiskey to my gullet, way you find me
i know im passed out on the couch just dont remind me

honestly i just hope that ill be here for christmas
for xmas, for xmas, for xmas
honestly i dont wish this on my enemies
enemies, enemies, im my own enemy

you dont know me

prod everestdidthis

[HKFiftyOne]

So you’re forgotten
This beautiful cold and small planet
The pitiful metaphors for this feeling
They're all grieving while you’re believing

Already know how this goes
I'll float away on my own
I know that no one will know
Will know

And if I implode real soon
I hope you tell all my moons
I swear I didn't mean to go
I just can't do this all alone

[saturns construct]
So i lethe
Shelter
Me
Guide 
Me
Past this asteroid belt and beyond the stars

i promise that im better than mars
or on par with the one we call ours

[HKFiftyOne]

So I'm forgotten
I know I'll get lost in
The stars that I'm drifting far beyond
I'm just an asteroid
Unclaimed in the black void
Some planets remember you but Pluto can't

Just forget me
Just forget me like you do

lethe (feat. HKFiftyOne)

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

what if i never picked up the phone
what if he never even called at all
i dont know, but i dont care
theres a reason why im still here
what if the tide wasnt so far in
winds a little calmer, so i could swim
or have i sinned ?
what if i never went away with my friends
and i spent the last minutes on a call with him
and i got to say goodbye, and that this is the end
at least id have some fucking closure on this life that i live
and what if he never accpeted any help from the meds
cause his children needed longer and they offered him that
just to leave him no time at all
i know its hard to accept but im falling flat

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

claws

lyrics

i got dry rot
in my head
plenty bugs live in my bed
crush my bones with steady hands
i wont give up until im dead
sandy feet
and bloody arches
i could see 
thru what u said
passed off
and passed on
feel like a burden
not ur man

oh
oh
oh
oh

i swear we talked about this
earlier this month but u dont care
aint it funny how u need me
i show up but ur not there
underwater i cant breathe but i still suffocate in air
speaking calmly doesn’t help when u scream fire in my ear 

oh
oh
oh
oh

splinters ft. abe garde

foreign forest