The Dave Episodes

This week I chatted with the critically acclaimed, and multi award winner and nominee, podcaster Dave Pickering about podcasts.

You will hear:

 - Dave doing an intro about their podcasts and history with them
- why people might listen to them, what are the motivations
- the danger of neoliberalism 'self improvement' and podcasts 
- the parasocial relationships that we have with podcast hosts and guests and how much that is part of why we listen (atomised, alienated from those around us we might turn to these kinds of relationships maybe?)
- recommendations for good shows

Dave’s own projects are
 
Getting Better Acquainted
Stand Up Tragedy
The Family Tree
Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad (I’ve listened to the first of these, it’s really moving and excellent. 
 
Current (Client) projects: 
Who Hurt You (formally Made of Human) (I sort of mentioned this)
The Restart Project 
Race Reflections AT WORK
The Breakup Monologues 
 
Check all those out via Dave’s website http://dave-pickering.squarespace.com/ 

Also follow them on twitter for their excellent recommendations (usually on a Friday) https://twitter.com/goosefat101 

Please consider supporting the Patreon for this show patreon.com/culturesexrelationships Your support means that I can get paid to make the show and I can also pay other freelance guests. The more support I get the more shows I can make. 

Speaking of shows, the easiest ones for me to make are the 'Ask Justin' advice shows. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, your relationship to your self, you can ask me. I will anonymise your question and will also give an excellent, long, and thoughtful answer. Email culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com

Dave Pickering: Podcasts

GBA 17: The Cardiff Special 

Dave takes us on a journey into his past as he returns to Cardiff the city that he lived in during his adolescence. Conversations, anecdotes, and memories mix together as we get better acquainted both with Cardiff and with Dave's old life there.

This episode features conversations with Owain, Steve, John, Bill, Angela, Lucy, and Dave.

Nearly all those named have a full episode of GBA devoted to them coming up in future weeks.



Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 17 Cardiff

This is an introduction to Dave who is the host of GBA. It was Episode 1 of  the series and had 130 plays at the time of it being ACCIDENTALLY DELETED. It has been re-posted out of sequence because there was no way of putting it back where it belonged.

Dave tells stories from his past, some funny, some sad, some a mixture of both, featuring two live stories told at Spark London events: http://www.sparklondon.com/

GBA 1 Dave


GBA 52 : To the Heart of It

This is a special episode of GBA which mixes true stories that I told live at Spark London with family conversations and a new song to explore how my dad’s heart attack and quadruple heart bypass touched both me and my family.

I talk to:
Jo  http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-52-jo
Sonia  http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-51-sonia
Tony http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-35-tony
and my Dad  http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/the-dad-episodes/

about some big moments in our family history, getting different perspectives and shining a light on the way we interact as a family group. 

This episode is about how families create myths, how memories of events contradict, change and fade, how families interact and how the idea of a parent’s mortality can shape your life.



CREDITS

The song "Talk to your Parents" will eventually be on the upcoming album "Bouncy, Poppy Songs About Death" from The Reactionaries: http://soundcloud.com/thereactionaries

Hayley is the other member of this alt-pop duo, you can hear her playing fiddle on the track: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-9-hayley

The mixes you hear were thrown together at very short notice by the magnificent silent member of our duo, our producer George: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-6-george


The two stories you hear me perform were told at Spark London nights: http://www.sparklondon.com/

One at the open mic they run at the Ritzy Cinema in Brixton and the other at the curated nights they put on at the Canal Cafe Theatre in Little Venice.

I've been actively involved with Spark London for a couple of years and have told quite a few true stories there and even produced some of their episodes. As a result of this one strand of GBA is conversations with Spark London true storytellers: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/spark-londoners/ 



CAST LIST:

In the interests of clarity this is how my family works:


Dad's 1st Marriage = Dad + Sheila

Two daughters from this marriage: Jo and Rebecca (http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-28-rebecca)

Sonia is Jo's daughter.



Dad's 2nd Marriage = Dad + June/My Mum (http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/the-mum-episodes-1)

Two sons from this marriage: Tony and Me



Mum's 2nd Marriage = Mum + Mervyn

One daughter from this marriage: Rosie



The two friends who are mentioned in my story are:

Owain: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-16-owain
and Steve (who I haven't managed to do a full GBA with yet but who appears in this GBA Special: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-17-cardiff )


Jen is my girlfriend (who appeared in the Christmas Special and will have at least one proper episode coming out in the future.)

Liz makes a cameo in this episode as she was my outside ear and shaped the way that the episode was narrated. She talks about some of the things discussed in this episode in her GBA episode: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-4-liz

This is the playlist of all of the family episodes that have aired so far: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/family



You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!


GBA 53 To The Heart Of It

In GBA 64 we get better acquainted with Coventry:

It's an epic document of my return to a city I hadn't been back to in 12 years.  I lived there through some dark and strange times 17 years ago.

In the show I really do get better acquainted with the city. I get to know its character. With my childhood friend Steve as my co-host I take you around Coventry's Cathedrals and shopping centres and we cover how the city was changed forever by the blitz. 

http://www.coventrycathedral.org.uk/

Then we journey back into my past, returning to the estates that I lived in as a child and the schools that we both attended together, through a barrage of memory and new perspectives. 

Steve mounts an inspiring defence of the city he has lived his whole life in and tells us why he loves the city so deeply. 

I take a long hard look at my past, re-evaluate my relationship to it, reconsider who I am, and get to know a different city to the one I left. Or is the city the same and it's me who has changed? Have I really changed at all?

Either way come and join me as I make my peace with Coventry.

As a prelude to this episode I released Steve’s GBA earlier this week:  http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-63-steve

Both episodes are about that strange time of life: late childhood. The years before you are fully teen but when you are no longer a toddler. 

They are also about re-establishing and developing friendship. A friendship where we knew each other before we were fully formed. 

They are about the danger and the magic of being a child. And that strange nostalgic emotion that comes when you try and look back.

Other good “extra listening” that compliments this episode are:

Episode 1 of GBA where I tell at least 3 stories set in Coventry during this time: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-1-dave

One of which is this http://www.sparklondon.com story which we talk about extensively at the end of the Coventry Special: http://www.mixcloud.com/sparklondon/two-cathedrals-david-pickering/

And George’s GBA is given a brief mention too: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-6-george

You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!




GBA 64 Coventry

In GBA 77 we get better acquainted with... Dave. In this special edition of GBA guest host Zoe talks to the man writing this blurb about "The Coventry Years".

Prompted by the way that I've hinted at and touched on this time in my life previously in the series but have never fully covered it, I decided to invite one of my closest friends along to host a conversation about it.

In this frank and candid conversation I talk about what I've learnt from looking back at those years and some of the "work" I've done on myself as a result. This work is very much connected to, and prompted by, the GBA Project.

"The Coventry Years" refers to the time I spent between the ages of 8 and 13 in a house in Coventry which had very thin walls. Some of the main things we cover is the impact of the domestic implosion that happened to my family in that house; how it influenced my character, my future and my burgeoning adolescent sexuality.

Thanks so much to Zoe for doing such a brilliant job at witnessing and responding to all this. I couldn't have asked for a better foil! I think she genuinely got better acquainted with me in the process, which was a surprise as we’re pretty open with each other and are long time close friends.



I Plug:

Considering this quote from the Bright Eyes song Bowl of Oranges in relation to yourself as well as in the context of relationships: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUym7n7fJTQ

"And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve 
Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole.
But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall.
Then I think we would see the beauty.
Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges,
like a story told by the fault lines and the soil."

And talking to your parents about their lives, even if they aren't easy for you to talk to. Which is the major theme of this GBA Special:http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-53-to-the-heart-of-it



Also mentioned:

The full Christmas Story and the Inventing Masturbation story are featured in Episode 1 of the Show: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-1-dave

The Cardiff years, and specifically my experiences being bullied in school are covered fully in the Cardiff Special: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-17-cardiff

Other parts of my life in Coventry, including Steve's valiant defence of the City, and the intro which I talk about cutting stuff out of, and some hints at the material in this episode, are covered in the Coventry Special: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-64-coventry

The GBA with my Step Dad that also touches on the events and themes from this episode is here: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-74-mervyn

There have been two GBA conversations that I did with my mum released. The one we talk about most in the episode won't be aired for quite some time. But when it is it will join the first two in this playlist: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/the-mum-episodes-1/

The set up in North Wales is explored fully in this GBA Extra: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-extra-the-partition

Zoe has a GBA all of her own, it is a good one: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-22-zoe

Spark London where the intro was recorded and which has also been very influential on where I find myself currently both personally and creatively can be found here: http://www.sparklondon.com/



You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!


GBA 77 The Coventry Years

In GBA 81 we get better acquainted with... Dave. The tables are turned as Alex who was my guest in GBA 80 takes the reins and interviews me in his own unique style. His approach to hosting is very different from mine. We go on lots of interesting tangents produced by his crowd sourcing approach to coming up with questions. Personal, political, surreal, it's all there. 

This is the conversation I had with him immediately before we switched roles: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-80-alex

Dave plugs:

Personal:

http://soundcloud.com/the-dave

http://soundcloud.com/the-plural

http://soundcloud.com/thereactionaries

"Numbers" on RethinkDaily: http://rethinkdaily.co.uk/

Stand Up Tragedy: http://www.standuptragedy.co.uk/

Alex's music (although it isn't available) - at this point Alex plugs his DJ Mix: http://soundcloud.com/themanamp

Working with George - These are his embryonic mixes : http://soundcloud.com/geojams And this is his GBA: http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/gba-6-george

Checking out the work of unknown artists such as those featured regularly on GBA:

http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/musicians/

http://soundcloud.com/gettingbetteracquainted/sets/writers/

The place to find an up to date account of his projects: http://goosefat101.blogspot.co.uk/



Political:


UK Uncut: http://www.ukuncut.org.uk/
The People's Supermarket: http://www.thepeoplessupermarket.org/
Don't Shoot the Clowns: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dont-Shoot-Clowns-Taking-Circus/dp/1904456480
The Dispossessed: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dispossessed-Ursula-Guin/dp/1857988825
V for Vendetta: http://www.amazon.co.uk/V-Vendetta-Alan-Moore/dp/1852862912
Oryx and Crake: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Oryx-Crake-Margaret-Atwood/dp/0747562598


Extra:


The writing of Jenny Adamthwaite http://www.jadamthwaite.co.uk/



More generally:

Honesty 
Truth
Empathy



Alex recommends people study psychopathy.

Dave mentions Jon Ronson's Psychopath Test: http://www.jonronson.com/psycho.html



Finally:

Listening to podcasts now while they are still exciting, full of innovation and doing new things without gatekeepers.



You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

Don’t have Stitcher? Download it for free today at http://www.stitcher.com or in the app stores.

Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

Follow @GBApodcast on Twitter. Like Getting Better Acquainted on facebook. Tell your friends. Spread the word!

GBA 81 Dave [guest hosted by Alex]

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

This episode is about creating things: imaginary worlds, homes and friendship. It's also about walls: drawing on walls, putting up boundaries, and pulling down the walls inside your mind and heart.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 10: Friendship Part 2

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: PTSD, dependency/addiction, rape (touched on lightly, no descriptions)

In the fifth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to psychologist and epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage from the podcast Say Why to Drugs about researching recreational drug use and mental health.

Say Why to Drugs with Dr Suzi Gage: https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/say-why-to-drugs/id1114492774

Say Why to Drugs by Dr Suzi Gage: https://www.hachette.co.uk/contributor/suzi-gage/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 11 - Drink Sangria in the park

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: war, medical operations, suicidal ideation

I’m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I’ve played out his death so many times. I’ve written it into fiction and songs. I’ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I’ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.

This episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad's war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 12:  Hearts Breaking

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: operations, medical procedures, assisted dying, euthanasia

In the sixth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to sociologist Dr Gill Haddow about embodiment, replaceable hearts, everyday cyborgs, humanimals and unhealth. This is an episode about possible futures and how we feel about our bodies.

Gill on twitter: https://twitter.com/gillhaddow

Everyday Cyborgs and Humanimals 2018: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WilTY5FF5w

Animal, Mechanical and Me: https://animalmechanicalandme.com/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 13: New answers to old questions

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

I realised that maybe our positions aren’t that different after all. And I wondered if, in the moments that I manage to believe in hope, I seem as inspiring and naïve as he does. It made me wonder if maybe the spark I see in him, that belief in people and ideas, if that isn’t also in me, despite my frequent feeling that it isn’t. If I might communicate that to other people regardless. If the world as humans know it lasts for long enough for me to reach a similar age as my dad, I wonder if I will be someone who frustrates and delights young people with my faith in them, whether I will still accept the possibility of hope and change?

This episode is about belief, hope and progress. It considers technological change, generational change, spiritual change and political change.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 14: André Gorz Tweet

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

But no matter what he forgets, it can’t take away the love we have shared, that existed, and will always have existed, even when he has forgotten it; even when he is no longer alive to remember it; even when I have forgotten it; even when I am no longer alive to remember it. It happened. And that has to be enough.

This episode is about movement, memory, change, time, distance, tears, connection, therapy, sadness, love, grief and everything else that can come in waves.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 16: Waves

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: grief, suicide, terminal illness, abuse, bereavement

In the final full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to counselor and psychotherapist Karen Pollock MBACP about grief and death. This is an episode about ways of thinking (and feeling) about bereavement, therapeutic approaches to change and loss, how the systems and attitudes around and inside us effect the ways we deal with difficult things, and so much more. It is the only episode of the show that doesn't feature my dad's voice but he is very present in the conversation.

Karen on twitter: https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz

Counselling in Northumberland: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/

Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities: https://www.ubcpress.ca/non-binary-lives

The Messiness of Grief: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2020/02/03/the-messiness-of-grief/

Opening the door to difficult conversations: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2018/01/23/opening-the-door-to-difficult-conversations/

Death and second chances: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2016/11/22/death-and-second-chances/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 17: The Box And The Jar

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: sex, assisted dying, war 

This episode is the last episode of the first (and possibly last) season of this show, and it's about legacy.

I’ve been planning this show for years. The earliest recording I’ve used was recorded by my dad on cassette tape in 1984. This show has covered 96 years of my dad’s life and 38 years of mine. I started recording interviews with my dad in 2011 and began writing essays about our relationship and his journey through old age towards death in 2017.

I’m glad I made this show. That it hasn’t just remained an imagined show. It’s been a tough journey at times, but it’s one I’m so glad I’ve made. Thanks for travelling on it with me.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 18: Legacy

A weekly podcast: Join Dave Pickering on his journey to get better acquainted with the people he knows. Part interview show, part oral history project and part autobiography through conversation.

British Podcast Award 2017 winner (bronze in Best Interview category)

GBA was nominated for a 2012 Radio Production Award, aired for 3 seasons on Resonance 104.4 FM and was featured on BBC Radio 4's In Pod We Trust, BBC Radio 5 Live’s Helen and Olly's Required Listening and has been recommended by The Guardian, Time Out and the Financial Times

GBA 53 To The Heart Of It

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