This song has slowly become my favorite original I have ever written. I guess that's why I keep trying to perfect it through re-mixes & additional vox & guitar trax. I'm quite proud of it though... the music, composition... even the lyrics/vocals! Given that, I am going to put down the lyrics here (mainly for my sister to follow). It's something I have been wanting to start doing anyway & there's no time like the present. This song is basically about a guy who is pining away for his love to be reciprocated by the girl he fell in love with... & she isn't.

EVER Lyrics
Verse 1
I wanted to see you again
But you said we're not lovers we're just friends
To say what I already know
Why not give this thing a shot but take it slow
Your beauty is shining tonight
Give me this one chance to make things right
You're starting to lead me astray
I do not want to go but I can't stay

Verse 2
This infection is starting to show
Every time that I say stop then you'll say go
You're afraid to start feeling again
Yet I see it shine through every now & then
I can't figure what happens to me
Now you're here & now you're gone so let it be
I never wanted you to go away
Can we please just end this game why won't you stay

Chorus
I can never ever ever let you know
I'm at the end of my rope
I can never ever ever let it show
That I can't take anymore
(X2)

Bridge
I'll find you tonight
Make everything alright
Forever
For ever

Chorus X 3
End

That's the lyrics to EVER!

EVER (Re - Mix 12 - 3-23)

Reflection of Pain

A Useless Life

After Life

I ruin everything

I died that day

Ashes

Pale, Motionless, Bleeding...

Destroyer Of Lives

Abyss Of Isolation

a shattered illusion
tearing my soul apart

the hours i've wasted
became days, became weeks
life is too long, too empty
yet i'm still a burden

and now, here i lay alone
feeling the cut in my arm
what have i done?

what have i done?
what have i done?
i can see my own blood
under the shining moon

my own blood

I tend to have too many ideas sometimes that it turns my songs into a muddy mess. BUT... I kinda want this one to be a bit sludgy! It's played in D standard for that reason (basically Drop C without "dropping" the fat string!) & with the direction it is going.... many guitars, distorted bass, reverbed drums.... I am worried it's gonna be too sludgy/muddy & the beauty of the music will get lost in all the noise. While it is "post-rockish", I did have some ideas lyrically. We shall see where that goes... but in the meantime, here's an instrumental version of my newest song from December 2025. I used my Premium Ibanez RG in the drop tuning & my ESP/LTD EC1000 in standard tuning, mainly for the "lead" stuff so I wouldn't have to play it so far up the neck. But these 2 guitars mix together beautifully. (They are 2 of my most expensive, so go figure!). For bass I used the LTD B-204 ran through the Spark. 1 bass track is clean & another is distorted. Drums are a very simple 6/8 time signature at 80 bpms. I love this tune... enjoy!

And It's All Because Of You (2025)

I have played guitar since the age of 14 (around 1990 give or take) & I still play to this day... only now instead of playing live or seeking to be in a band, I record my own music at home! I use Audacity software (free!) & basically use a mic to record my guitars, bass & vocals through my various guitar amps. Drums I "program" by downloading tracks from youtube & chopping them up to suit my needs. I write my own music as well as record covers. I'm not a singer & all of my vocals are achieved by doing multiple vocal tracks to create a harmony that is otherwise lacking. Sometimes the results are ok, sometimes it sucks. Either way, making music & taking care of my cats are the 2 main reasons I am on this Earth. I hope you enjoy some of my stuff!

EVER (Re - Mix 12 - 3-23)

Jeff Swinderman 4