bro I keep coming back to this, this is so perfect🖤

📦

[spring]

i guess i'm one to reminisce
about the things from the past
so far gone i can't get them back
last night i cried a lot
thinking about where i came from
and what i did and the outcomes
it all feels like it was just a dream
forgotten songs and melodies

[summer]

it's so sacred
so sacred
and now it's gone from me
but i still make believe
and i don't want to see
i just want to be
the things i thought i could
the things i said i would
serenity
serenity
serenity
serenity 

[autumn]

why does this not feel the same
i haven't done it in a whole decade
and why am i shedding tears now
'cause the folks i knew are not around
i miss my bed and i miss my friends
and i hate how everything good must end
now the windows are blocked by branches and leaves
i don't feel very good its too much for me
it's a symbol of the past that's gone like the wind
i won't recognize it so i don't wanna go in
i feel really dizzy i need to sit down
it looks the same but it's all different now
i didn't know it then but i was full of joy
was another example of a naive boy
just take me back i don't wanna grow up
i'm anxious and scared and i wanna throw up

[winter]

i should've made the most of it when i was still there
but i was busy with daydreams of being elsewhere
and the thought of the future was clouding the present
i didn't take it in and now i really regret it
i'm too late
i'm too late
i'm too late
i'm too late
a whole decade
a whole decade
a whole decade
a whole decade

Minus 10

(i think it kinda goes something like
ichi ni san yon go roku nana hachi
kyuu juu juuichi
juuni juusan juuyon juugo
one two ready? go!)

i haven't slept eight hours in
like nine or ten or eleven months
it's easy to fall down
the whole way

a hoax, a hack, a star, a champ
a fake, a fraud, a king, a god
i choke on words
they haven't said it's okay

an inconvenient time for
you held your skull against mine
too soon too late, i had died
with our fingers intertwined

an all familiar thought has come
planted there by somebody from
a time before the concept of the lack

paintings
of the same things
made before we
had ever been

watch the leaves
are you bleeding?
don't you touch me
fucking freak

how lucky they are to have so many options
amongst all of the heads that they have talked with
overthink all of the words i have been saying
oh my god what if they hate me
they definitely hate me

i don't believe in superstitions or whatever
but it's fun to pretend whenever we get together
that there's energy in crystals and meaning in the numbers
because i know that these things bring you a great comfort

beyond practical and pragmatism
i am dedicated to an idealistic caricature
of a body sculpted from stone and born from heaven
scornful, contempt, and so irreverent

october usagi

death machine

say a prayer for me
i got my finger on the trigger and it's ready to squeeze
say a prayer for me
i got involved with someone who feels no empathy
say a prayer for me
i'm sick of letting God down habitually
say a prayer for me
i don't want to spend more time in purgatory
cuz when you're on my mind you make me wanna die (x4)
say a prayer for me
my fingers tremble while holding my rosary beads
say a prayer for me
mortal sins are the only gifts you've given to me
say a prayer for me
i know the only thing you love is your twitter feed
say a prayer for me
i'll never fit into your communist fantasy

Say A Prayer For Me

Wig-wham Sam

trash

Raccoon GF

seven hours
field of flowers
butterflies on the moon
eastern kyoto
matsumoto's
i hope you get well soon
swimming pools full of chlorine
what the hell is that supposed to mean
im so sorry that i did that
at the end of the road theres a black cat

i broke my bones back in february
it gave me quite a fright
one year later and im surfing in hawaii
still having lonely nights
i just wish i could leave it all behind
and throw it all away
i just wish i could clear my mind
and enjoy everyday
my feet are in the sand and there's water on my body
i do the best i can to keep my brain from rotting
suicidal thoughts but i wont ever do it
i keep a loaded gun with me but im too scared to use it

seven hours
field of flowers
butterflies on the moon
eastern kyoto
matsumoto's
i hope you get well soon
swimming pools full of chlorine
what the hell is that supposed to mean
im so sorry that i did that
at the end of the road theres a black cat

is there a heaven
is there a hell
is there a purgatory
will i be there by myself
im not excited for when the day comes
that im lying in a hearse
whatever's waiting on the other side
surely can not be worse
my feet are in the sand and there's water on my body
i do the best i can to keep my brain from rotting
suicidal thoughts but i wont ever do it
i keep a loaded gun with me but im too scared to use it

seven hours
field of flowers
butterflies on the moon
eastern kyoto
matsumoto's
i hope you get well soon
swimming pools full of chlorine
what the hell is that supposed to mean
im so sorry that i did that
at the end of the road theres a black cat

Butterflies on the Moon

they say its always darkest before the dawn
but i got nothing really going on
somethings wrong i always feel like im about to cry
i rarely leave my room i rarely go outside
sometimes i feel like no one understands
my life isnt going the way i planned
im alone and i dont wanna be anymore
i know that when it rains it pours

bad luck bad news bad attitude
white lies no truth thats the devil in you
drywall phone screen whats wrong with me
i wanna sing like the birds in the trees
i feel like flying
i feel like flying
i feel like falling 
falling down

i've got nothing on my mind
all i do is complain and whine
i don't know what to do i don't know where to go
theres nothing out there for me but im sick of staying home
i'm my own worst enemy
that's all i am that's all i'll ever be
everyday's the same it keeps happening again
i hope something will change but i dont know if or when

bad luck bad news bad attitude
white lies no truth thats the devil in you
drywall phone screen whats wrong with me
i wanna sing like the birds in the trees
i feel like flying
i feel like flying
i feel like falling 
falling down

Falling

you are so very pretty
i wish i could be your boyfriend
you told me you weren't ready
but i really think you were lying

why can't we just go back
to that time two weeks ago
you told me you weren't ready
but i really think you were lying

i wanna go back to that time of no fear
and see what i did wrong
why can't you talk to me, ask me how i am
i'm so sick of being alone

you are so cool and pretty
i like the things that you draw
i asked you how you're doing
but then you stopped replying

why can't we just go back
to that time when we met
you said yes to meet again
but i really think you were lying

i wanna go back to that time of no fear
and see what went wrong
why can't you talk to me, ask me how i am
i'm so sick of being alone

No Fear

check out the music video: https://youtu.be/_4-TjwH3LJY (by @somatv)

i love you, fedgirl
you make me feel like everything's okay
you always make me feel so gay
no matter the time of day

you make me smile
you make me feel like everything's worthwhile
you're there for me, fedgirl
the best girl in the world

i'm never lonely under her watchful eye
and i no longer hope to die
i found love on the other side
she has so much to provide
i'm sure one day we're gonna get married
have four kids who'll grow to be merry
i found love on the other side
i no longer dream of suicide

and when i cry
i know you're there on the other side
cyber hugging me to comfort me, fedgirl

you make me smile
you make me feel like everything's worthwhile
you're there for me, fedgirl
the best girl in the world

i'm never lonely under her watchful eye
and i no longer hope to die
i found love on the other side
she has so much to provide
i'm sure one day we're gonna get married
have four kids who'll grow to be merry
i found love on the other side
i no longer dream of suicide

i'm never lonely under her watchful eye
and i no longer hope to die
i found love on the other side
she has so much to provide
i'm sure one day we're gonna get married
have four kids who'll grow to be merry
i found love on the other side
i no longer dream of suicide

FEDGIRL

i don't wanna smoke 'til i die, i just wanna scream 'til i cry
every waking moment, i can't live without it
i shouldn't have to cry through my prime, take pills they'll keep me in line
you waste my fuckin' time, i feel like i'm dying

and it's all stuck on repeat in my head but i can't understand it
i don't wanna wake up to the sound of all my friends screaming at god

i can't wait to feed myself, increasing holes on my belt
i'll live with being hungry, you don't fucking love me
you don't mean the things you tell me, you forget about your family
and everybody else, you're putting us through hell

nothing really matters, nothing fuckin' matters

they said your head was full of pills and your heart couldn't take the damage
and i don't wanna be the one that's gonna be there when you're not waking up
and it's all stuck repeat in my head but i can't understand it
i don't wanna watch my best friends kill themselves so i can fall out of love

angel dust

it's like i woke up from a dream, i'm gonna get myself killed
i won't answer to anyone, except myself
my friends all tell me that i need my meds
kill the thoughts inside my head
burn a church because it's what i wanna do
i hurt myself because i need to
for you

i could run away from all this shit, i could kill my friends
all i need is love, i don't care how it ends
i don't care about anyone who says i'm mad
what makes me so fucking bad?
i don't care because it's what i wanna do
i hurt myself because i want to
for you

flowers for graves

i wanna be loved, i don't wanna go crazy
now i'm acting all shaky, but you probably knew
i can tell by the way that you style your hair, i can see by the way that you keep on starin'

i just wanna dance and i wanna be stupid, i think i'm dumb but you already knew this
i can't run from the future that's been set before me, i know what's gonna happen at the end of the story, oh

it's all like you said before, i don't wanna see you anymore
i don't wanna be stupid
it's like all my friends have died, i can't seem to get them out of my mind
i don't wanna be stupid

i look in the mirror and i feel like i'm falling, all of my calls they meant nothing to you, now i don't wanna live
i don't wanna go outside

mirror mirror

i’m wasting
time inside my head
i don’t wanna feel alive
i don’t wanna feel like i’m dead

i can’t stand the
way my mind is numb
i don’t want to let things go
i don’t want to feel so dumb

but why can’t i do
what i wanna do
why can’t i say
what i wanna say
i’m a danger to myself
and anybody else


i want it, i need it
don’t feel so defeated
the panic, the violence
i wanna die in silence

i’m dying in my head
i feel like i’ve been wasted
no thinking, retreating
they always end up leaving

i’m wasting
my time feeling down
what’s the point of feeling sad
someday i’ll come around

wasted

gjallarhornit

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