The Upload

last-friend

produced by erik ron

music video
https://youtu.be/q7VM7BFzgzM

lyrics:

amnesia
wanna forget how bad I need ya
losing my vision I can’t see ya
someday i know that I’ll erase her, erase her

amnesia
feeling the pain as I go deeper
anyway i don’t have to feel ya
cutting you out like I got a razor

treat me like that
oh you know i still miss you
i sent you text
but i know you never read through
I still want it bad
Way worse then i need to
i won’t hold you back
if you wanna be free so

i think i’m letting you go
easy to say it I know
days when i’m out on the road
wish I was with you at home

what i’m doing ain’t workin’
wish that i could be certain

amnesia
wanna forget how bad I need ya
losing my vision I can’t see ya
someday i know that I’ll erase her, erase her

amnesia
feeling the pain as I go deeper
anyway i don’t have to feel ya
cutting you out like I got a razor  

I know I changed
you know i had to
I got attached
the day i met you

i’ve gone insane
not feeling the same
i hate to face
that i love the pain

workin on letting you go
memories making me choke
feelings are taking its tole
livin this life as a ghost

what i’m doing ain’t workin’
wish that i could be certain

amnesia
wanna forget how bad I need ya
losing my vision I can’t see ya
someday i know that I’ll erase her, erase her

amnesia
feeling the pain as I go deeper
anyway i don’t have to feel ya
cutting you out like I got a razor

amnesia (music video on youtube)

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

shout out @demxntia for hopping on this and making it pretty and @wavewalk for making such a sick unique beat go follow them

Sui:

sick of floating here being stagnant in life know this aint right
but everytime a good thing happens 
storms come in and wash progression all away 
good things come along but they dont ever stay
no~~
days dont ever last, curb with broken glass 
sitting there watch the mf cars pass
never show 
anymore emotion feel like going over board like
carry us away, lost my way at night 
flowing down the undertow again
caught up in the fucking cyclone 
waves will crash and pull, leave me on my own
Ill sink with this mf ship never making it back to shore

Dem: 
I don't give a fuck anymore
go to war with myself at the core
you know i felt this way before
everything i used to love feels like chores
i don't know~
which way i should go~
i hope there's room to grow~
i hate feeling so, low~
oo~ oooo~ ye
oo~ where do i go, cause i just dont know

Bofa:

Drowning to my sorrow, keep that to myself
You can save yer rescue, i don't need yer help x2
NO
days dont ever last, curb with broken glass 
sitting there watch the mf cars pass
never show 
anymore emotion feel like going over board like
carry us away, lost my way at night 
flowing down the undertow again
caught up in the fucking cyclone 
waves will crash and pull, leave me on my own
Ill sink with this mf ship never making it back to shore

broken glass w/ demxntia ~ [p. wavewalk]

[Prod. Loopy]
https://soundcloud.com/prod_loopy

Lyrics:

It’s kinda funny how we fucked up, where’d the time go?
All our dreams, all our dreams, Out the window

It’s kinda funny how you do; I wasted so much time for you


Forever I would bleed for you!
Tell me everything I wanna hear, I know it’s not THE TRUTH!
Fuck am I supposed to do?!
When everything I ever loved has been slaughtered, FUCK it's TRUE!

Forever I will bleed for you!
Tell me everything I wanna hear, I know it’s not THE TRUTH!
Fuck am I supposed to do?!
When everything I ever loved has been slaughtered, FUCK it's TRUE!

Fuck you doing to me?! I can’t seem to let it go!
I fucking loved you but I guess that’s not enough for you!!
Break my bones again, and mend me till your heart's content!
Just slit my throat, the pain just never seems to fucking end!!

I swear I love you, but I gotta fucking let you go!
What you did to me was wrong, I hope goddamn know !!
You can’t repair the scars you made, the blood is on your blade!
Forever I would bleed for you; the hate is all I taste!!

Forever I would bleed for you!
Tell me everything I wanna hear, I know it’s not THE TRUTH!
Fuck am I supposed to do?!
When everything I ever loved has been slaughtered, FUCK it's TRUE!

Forever I will bleed for you!
Tell me everything I wanna hear, I know it’s not THE TRUTH!
Fuck am I supposed to do?!
When everything I ever loved has been slaughtered, FUCK it's TRUE!

THE TRUTH [Prod. Loopy]

Produced by Nevrfall

Lyrics

Wear My Sweater Cause You Look Good In It
With Your Silver Hair And Your Precious Smile
There's Not A Mile That I Can't Walk
There's Not A Thing That I Can't Do
She Got A Necklace With A Half Moon
She Got The Lips I'm Gonna Kiss Soon

And When We're Older We'll Be There Still
We Kept On Aging Against Our Will
But I'm Fine With That If You Are Too
Yeah I Aged A Bit,And So Did You

You're As Pretty As The Night Sky
I'll Still Love You In The Night Time
I Wish You Saw Yourself Like I Did
I Wish You Saw Your Pretty Face With My Eyes

Wear My Sweater Cause You Look Good In It
With Your Silver Hair And Your Precious Smile
There's Not A Mile That I Can't Walk
There's Not A Thing That I Can't Do
She Got A Necklace With A Half Moon
She Got The Lips I'm Gonna Kiss Soon

Sweater

Stream On Spotify

prod. @metlast

Lyrics:
[Chorus]
I took my pain and turned it to apathy
I took your name and engraved it into my heart
I took your voice and turned it to melody
I took your lies and thought that it was love
I took my pain and turned it to apathy
I took your name and engraved it into my heart
I took your voice and turned it to melody
I took your lies and thought that it was love

[Verse]
Thought that it was love
How could I be so blind?
In love with a ghost
who never looked into my eyes
never looked into my eyes
All my efforts to let you love me for once
All the times that I've seen you with someone
Else hanging around or falling in love
Bringing me down but I can't let you go
I know you probably hate me
or you may already forgot me 
whatever people say
Shawty, they'll never stop me
Wrote a lot of songs to you 
But you don't even care 

[Chorus]
I took my pain and turned it to apathy
I took your name and engraved it into my heart
I took your voice and turned it to melody
I took your lies and thought that it was love
I took my pain and turned it to apathy
I took your name and engraved it into my heart
I took your voice and turned it to melody
I took your lies and thought that it was love

STREAM

apathy [prod. metlast]

(prod. by discent)

It'll all end in the Dark..

Lyrics:

I still hate my life!
No, I’m not alright!
No, it won’t be fine!

If this takes my life,
These pills and flashing lights!
It’ll all be fine!

Cause you were So beautiful!
Like something made of miracles!
Take the breath right out of both my lungs!!
Ripped to pieces; what we were both known to be..

If it hurts then let it end your life!
Let it end tonight!
Let it end tonight!!

If it hurts then let it suck you dry!
Destroy your life! 
Destroy your life!!

I’ve been going crazy
going through some problems
Nothing helps me anymore I can’t solve them
You were all the reason I could find to face them
Now that you’re dead the xannies make me faceless..


Beat me,
Tear me down to pieces,
I’m not worth it!

Let me drown in my own blood 
Until I’m livid!

I can see them Watching, watch me close the curtains!

Say goodbye to all the shit that made me worth shit!


If you say that this is only for the better..
Why the fuck do I feel worse than I have ever?!

If you wanna know how I’ve been,
I’m still BREATHING!!
It’s the ONLY Way To know MY HEART’S Still BEATING!!!

I still hate my life!
No, I’m not alright!
No, it won’t be fine!

If this takes my life,
These pills and flashing lights!
It’ll all be fine!

Cause you were So beautiful!
Like something made of miracles!
Take the breath right out of both my lungs!!
Ripped to pieces; what we were both known to be..

If it hurts then let it end your life!
Let it end tonight!
Let it end tonight!!

If it hurts then let it suck you dry!
Destroy your life! 
Destroy your life!!

I'M STILL BREATHING! (prod. by discent)

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7aISvk46tTt8xyb49Ve1L2
Apple: https://music.apple.com/fi/album/you-single/1484433587
YouTube: https://youtu.be/x6IeAPrRFhU

[Verse 1]
You cured my blindness & gave it all
And for a minute my fears would fall
Then you held me, “I know its scary”
You said to me

Within a second I was yours
And that is how this story goes
Now you know
Why I've been lost

‘Cos now your gone and I'm all alone
Leave my hopes and put it in a song
The thoughts of you would’ve made me strong
I didn’t know I had it all along

When I get home and I've worked hard
I watch our pictures on the wall
My eyes get blurry, I miss a call
I’m stuck in bed, can’t sleep at all

[Chorus]
I'm so happy when I wake up every morning next to you in my bed
But by the evening I have given up and I wish that I was dead
‘Cos I remember that you’re not here with me, you’re just in my head
I lost my best friend, will I ever see her again?

[Verse 2]
Each night I push my head into my pillow to stop breathing
Just to feel the pain that you felt the moment your heart stopped beating
Then I lay there in my bed on my back and staring up to the ceiling
Wondering If I will ever wake up, yeah...

It went from planting two lips on two lips to tulips for you (yeah)
I should have known everything you went through (yeah)
But now It’s too late and there’s nothing I can do (yeah)
You’re were the only thing I didn’t wanna lose (yeah) (yeah)

And when it’s raining outside It’s my tears falling down
From the sky and splashes on the ground
‘Cos I don’t know if I can live without you by my side
I’d rather die than be alone another night 

[Chorus] x2
I'm so happy when I wake up every morning next to you in my bed
But by the evening I have given up and I wish that I was dead
‘Cos I remember that you’re not here with me, you’re just in my head
I lost my best friend, will I ever see her again?

[Prod. Discent] @discent

Lyrics:
All of these people walk past me i feel like im not enough
Everytime i open my eyes i feel like i see a bluff

Seeing bloood
Seeing you
Feed me drugs
And leave me used

Taste my pain
When you bite into the neck you used to kiss
Envelop me in your corruption
Your venom is made from bliss

Blood on your hands
Love and bad habits
I dont understand 
Why i always see your silhouette 
Over my shoulder

Leave me fucking broken
Broken
Need some fucking glue 
To hold up what you broke in two

All of these people walk past me i feel like im not enough
Everytime i open my eyes i feel like i see a bluff

Seeing bloood
Seeing you
Feed me drugs
And leave me used

Taste my pain
When you bite into the neck you used to kiss
Envelop me in your corruption
Your venom is made from bliss

CORRUPTION

Produced by metlast

I WONDER IF YOU'D STAYED IF I WASN'T BY YOUR SIDE

Lyric video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NXDZhX1Wbs

Lyrics:

[Intro]
"iluvtora"

[Pre - Chorus]
it takes a lot to be fine, all this time, empty nights 
fuck my stressfull mind, see my day just going by
i wonder if you'd stayed if i wasnt by your side
make me feel alright, all you have to do is lie

[Chorus]
lie, lie, lie hold my hand and dont you cry
see the difference in our minds, 
baby why you scared to die
fucking bleeding from your words, 
please dont cross another line
tears are falling from your eyes
i dont see that as a sign

[Verse]
stars in the sky, i want you to be mine
but there's not one reply, can you tell me fucking why
am i even still alive, hard times, no end, soul dead
theres no purpose in this life

[Bridge]
no purpose, i feel worthless
why you gotta fucking leave me like this
losing focus, hearts broken
they dont know it, but i am hopeless

[Pre - Chorus]
it takes a lot to be fine, all this time, empty nights 
fuck my stressful mind, see my day just going by
i wonder if you'd stayed if i wasnt by your side
make me feel alright, all you have to do is lie

[Chorus]
lie, lie, lie hold my hand and dont you cry
see the difference in our minds, 
baby why you scared to die
fucking bleeding from your words, 
please dont cross another line
tears are falling from your eyes
i dont see that as a sign

[Outro]
no purpose, i feel worthless
why you gotta fucking leave me like this
losing focus, hearts broken
they dont know it, but i am hopeless

Biteki びてき

empty nights (prod. metlast)

ty @alainite for the featuring <3 

[chorus: gothurted]
Last time that we saw I was facing
Bad mood for the drugs I was lacing
Smoke a joint I don't want to keep thinking
Took a pill cause I don't want to feel shit
Try hard to keep going on the same shit
Cause every time that I'm alone I've been getting hit
By this feeling that is trying to make me die
It's all right, keep walking, keep faking a smile 
Last time that we saw I was facing
Bad mood for the drugs I was lacing
Smoke a joint I don't want to keep thinking
About you cause every time I do I cry

[verse: alainite]
Yeah every time I do I cry
'Cause I’ve been staying up so late at night and I’m just burning
'Cause I can’t find another way to kill the pain
And I’ve been crawling down this lonely road yeah I been wasted
Just tryna find a place where I can hide my pain

'Cause you’re everything I want and more, oh
Yeah you got me so bored of everybody else I'm sure, oh
That you got me ignored like everybody else I’m sure

[chorus: gothurted]
Last time that we saw I was facing
Bad mood for the drugs I was lacing
Smoke a joint I don't want to keep thinking
Took a pill cause I don't want to feel shit
Try hard to keep going on the same shit
Cause every time that I'm alone I've been getting hit
By this feeling that is trying to make me die
It's all right, keep walking, keep faking a smile 
Last time that we saw I was facing
Bad mood for the drugs I was lacing
Smoke a joint I don't want to keep thinking
About you cause every time I do I cry

Faking a Smile ft. Alainite [prod. yunny goldz]

prod. capsctrl x malloy x lukeXI x Eddie B x Valious x p4ra x Shrpnss

rip valentine

prod/mix/master/cover @trechorboy
feat. @trechorboy + @nicoteenninyo

TRECHOR BOY:
she said she never really cared about me
wasting my time maybe
fuck all that shit
hypocrite 
doesn’t even come close to the way i think of you 
can’t you see 
there's something wrong with me
incapable of love
im never good enough 
but
(X2)

turns out i really wanted this shit 
i had the confidence to make moves with it so 
i went and got my bag 
all i had 
was you
fast forward four years on the timeline 
i woke up and realized all the online shit won’t help
and i still hate myself 
fuck

NICOTEEN NINYO:
is he as warm as me, holdin u on a cold night?
does he say i love you cuz it just feels right?
yeah im gone and ur okay but maybe u wont be in a couple of days
listen to the words u say
does he make u smile like me?
cuz

i only say i love you when we break up
i only say i need u when we cant make up
ill only ever call if im drunk enough
to say the things i never said
tryin to force this new girl down my throat
but it just makes ur taste in my mouth worse
i wish i could say i believe u
i wish i could fucking hate you

~i wish i could fucking hate you
i wish i could fucking hate you~

~i wish i could love just like you
i wish i could love like you do~
(X2)

LOVE/HATE

trechor boy x nicoteen ninyo - LOVE/HATE

Lyrics:

[hook]
I was shouting calling for you
Shawty you know I love you
All I wanted was to stay with you
For the rest of my life
Stay by my side
Nothing can beat us
We'll never die
We'll never find
Someone like us 
Someone that will make us fall in love
x2

[verse]
I tried to save you cause I couldn't save myself
If you feel tired you can lay on my chest
If you feel sad you can wrap yourself into my arms 
So I can feel your scent flowing inside my lungs
I miss the time we spent, told you in a couple songs
My own heart complains, wishes you'd never gone 
Wishes you'd never fall in love with someone else
I guess is just too late to try and change myself
To try and change myself
I was shouting

[hook]
I was shouting calling for you
Shawty you know I love you
All I wanted was to stay with you
For the rest of my life
Stay by my side
Nothing can beat us
We'll never die
We'll never find
Someone like us 
Someone that will make us fall in love
x2

apathy [prod. metlast]

gothurted

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