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Here’s a tough truth, and one we really need to get permanently lodged into our heads… we need to be kinder and more loving to ourselves. Sure, being kind and compassionate toward others is vitally important. But if we can’t love ourselves, we will always be in a deficit.

I read a wonderful book a while back, ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael Singer. The bit that really struck a chord with me was about the inner voice. Michael suggested that if you had a friend that nagged and criticized you, that put you down and sometimes yelled at you… you would quickly eject that friend from your life. And yet many of us live with that voice in our heads, and we just accept it as normal.

It was certainly true in my case. On a bad day, when my thoughts were reeking havoc with me, and darkness would overtake me like an ominous storm cloud… I didn’t care about anything, or anyone… especially myself. Eventually, anger might rise from or replace the depression. And as odd as it sounds, that could be a good thing. At least anger indicated something inside me still wanted to fight, rather than just lay down and die.

Dark tone. I know. These are dark times. But let me throw in a little brightness. I’m really not that guy anymore. For the sake of my loving partner and amazing children, I made the choice to try to get my head on straight about 15 years ago… I had to drop the News. The deep dives into social media had to go. And I began making a daily effort to read inspirational things, and focus on hopeful and inspiring thoughts. I took up creating music around that time (best decision ever). And I exercised more frequently as well. Heal the mind, heal the body. After 10 years of concentrated effort (and around the age of 45), I was finally in pretty good shape; mentally, physically and spiritually. :)

Every one of us has our doubts. Every one of us gets consumed by dark, negative thoughts from time to time. Some of us can fall into a pretty constant state. And if you don’t have a friendly voice inside your head, it can be a helluva rough ride. The missing key we are seldom taught… that inner friend is prerequisite to everything else.

I think this is very evident right now. The world is overburdened with people who want to be seen.. and heard. They want a meaningful life, and hope… and ultimately, they want love. Everyone is so busy screaming into the insanity, searching for signs of these things… it’s easy to glaze over the fact that everyone else is after the same things. 

This brings us back to the anger thing. If you don’t have love, anger is a powerful substitute. For the marginalized, I imagine anger in groups is probably quite intoxicating. And who doesn’t feel marginalized right now. This is a monster of our own creation, folks. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, leadership doesn’t have the wisdom or desire to fix it. It’s become quite gluttonous, and thrives on imbalance. Plus, it likes folks angry, and it likes them fearful. We’re very easy to control that way.

But this precariously balanced stranglehold breaks when the fear and anger are removed. Have you ever tried controlling someone in love? It’s impossible. They’re deliriously happy, and annoyingly lost in their bliss. This is dramatically magnified if it’s you that you love. Truly, if we are to overcome our current situation, it needs to start from within; the ultimate grass roots cause. We need to be our own best friends first, and build it up from there. And this moment is a perfect moment to start.

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic strangeness, ‘Cute Little Fellow, My Inner Darkness’. o.O

Vox Populi

Cute Little Fellow, My Inner Darkness

QUICK STATUS UPDATE: I admit, my neurodivergent brain is really struggling with the world lately. I'm all about people taking the high road; and treating each other with love and compassion. I also assumed government, religions and businesses ran on some form of humanitarian ethics. 

Needless to say, a disturbingly large part of the world and I aren't seeing eye to eye lately. And because of my recent adventures with sobriety, I initially determined I needed to stop doing things that mess with my mental well being (like supporting businesses that don't function properly, and don't support their customers). 

But let's face it... this weirdness is happening pretty much everywhere. And hermitting my way through the rest of my life is not a healthy or productive option. I'm a creator... I feel my greatest sense of purpose when I'm creating... and I enjoy being able to share those creations. 

It also helps make my life feel more purposeful, knowing my music and writings may be doing some good in the world (a huge thanks to my SC friends for messaging me your thoughts. You inspired me to rethink my choices).

So long story short, I decided to keep my SC subscription going. Granted, I still need some time to reimagine how I can connect with this community. But for now, I think I'll at least keep things were they are. And you'll be happy to know new songs are already in the works. :)

-Justin (aka GrevusAnjl)