Sittin. And fadin... 😶‍🌫️🌌💿❕

no comments in a while, ataraxy ii is my fav guardin album man every track is so fire

it's been four years since the first ataraxy was released, but it was a pivotal project in my career. it was the first project i had released that i felt very strongly about & the first one where i really tested my vocal/production abilities. it felt right making a sequel & revisiting that same creative process & energy i had felt with the first one. thank you guys for sticking with me through all of these years. it's been a hell of a journey & i promise this is just the beginning for us. i love you guys so fucking much & hope you enjoy this project.

ataraxy ii

lyrics
--------
sadness & sorrow
is all i embody
don't tell nobody
don't tell nobody
inside my head
it's always so cloudy
don't tell nobody
don't tell nobody

don't tell nobody
whatchu really feelin
i cocoon myself & dissociate when i feel it
scratch off my eyelids
slowly revealing
every single dissatisfaction i've come to deal with
of course the course i'm driving is full of formaldehyde
hiding deep inside the spaces of places i'll never find
the inevitable factor of rattling what's inside
is the base of all your struggle so buckle up for the ride
sign the waver in your favor for fucking up all your time
the pandemic academically taught us all how to hide
hopefully we all come out of this happier & alive
with a better understanding of standing outside the lines
my creative continuity caught a cold in july
though the weather was much better my feathers just never dried
hung my coat up in the closet consuming my modest mind
overcame it when i aimed it & shot it back at the sky 

sadness & sorrow
is all i embody
don't tell nobody
don't tell nobody
inside my head
it's always so cloudy
don't tell nobody
don't tell nobody

cocoon

lyrics
--------
we could become fireworks and burn out in the sky
lost stability in august but we're almost to july
spread the message out to everyone it's worth another try
i'll convince both you & i that i am fine
i am fine i am fine 

this is the song that you play when you feelin the worst
this is the one that you crank until both of your speakers don't work
this is the song that you play when you're down in the dirt
this is the one that you hate cause you know you relate & you know that it hurts
this is the song that you play on a rainy day
everything's shit
hand me the bottle & i'll take the pain away
yeah
vices in ice & i sip till it fade away
life is a blur & i think i might hurl if it comes back up straight away

i just always feel alone in all of this
maybe i could talk about it write some shit
cause everybody going through the motions with
their lives & in an instant we could not exist
so why the fuck am i so silent hiding this
my suicidal tendencies of violence
against myself are scaring me & i'll be missed
if i decide to take a leap in my abyss

i am fine

fireworks

lyrics
--------
are you sleeping are you dead?
this the interlude that you listen to in bed
cut the pillow talk you aint gettin in my head
there's a quarter million things that i rather leave unsaid
wait wait one minute gotta find my pair of slides
are we smokin outback are we steppin in the ride
might toss you the keys i can't drive it if i'm fried
turn the radio on shit that's me i'm world wide
shit changed not me tho dude
i've been sippin bombay with a birds eye view
tryna kick it at the crib with a long ass queue
you remember all the days we smoked outta old blue?
yeah i miss that shit
rippin bongs all day in a kickass fit
with my dogs all blazed taking big ass hits
push my soul to the edge like it's soul cal 6

are you listening to this?
it's another track from the dude that never miss
is it coincidental fragmental how we fix
up our issues misusing the substances that make us sick
kick the bucket i chuck it so you can't see it when it lands
if this poet got hella potent we puffin twenty grams
save the eight for a rainy day when you feelin hella bad
it's the artisan mr cardigan best you ever had
do not take it serious
this the one fun track
do not get delirious
cereal i eat it it's a spoon fed experience
yeah i thought that line was hilarious
but we headin back to the project
get a couple lines in
bout some motherfuckers
who can barely get their lines read
arch nemesis you a clown with your eyes red
bozo the bitch you just mad you ain't widespread

one minute

lyrics
--------
raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

you're taking me out of it
out of the rain but the clouds will remain
yeah you're taking me out of it
god i'm ashamed of who i became
yeah the face is anonymous
but i can detect based upon dialect
cause he still stays synonymous
to me because we are the same entity
disembody him

raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

awaken the audience
cause i've got a show & it's ready to go
yeah awaken the audience
the curtains hang low so pull em back slow 
is his character obvious
developing woes as he tips on his toes
tryna bottle his rowdiness
with a grip his soul i can feel him let go
he's victorious

raindrops come to life
i told you a million times
some obsess & some are nice
come inside come inside
raindrops come to life
i called you so mortified
it pushed up in your weary mind
come inside come inside

stratus

lyrics
--------
i'm in the backseat with my bros
we've been on the road
hittin' potholes in the sprinter van
i'm leanin' out the window
breeze all in my coat
you were on my mind before this began
and if truth truly be told
when i'm all alone
i scroll on my phone tryna reminisce
it don't matter where we go
i just hope you know
you the one thing that i always miss

you the one thing that i always miss (x4)

started up in buffalo
new york kinda cold
but i call it home and i always will
crossin over the rainbow
bridge to toronto
gettin' kinda snacky so we hit no frills
bout to play another show
pack it up and go
capturing the glow while the city still
captivated to and fro
me & all my bros
how the fuck is any of this really real?

really real
really real
i used to struggle tryna figure how i really feel
i made a song or two about it made me really feel
like i was less alone in all this honestly it healed me
i remember making beats up at my moms
thinking one day imma make it out the house with all these songs
simple times but drastic measures picked me up and made me strong
now i'm writing all these words and sitting right where i belong

i'm in the backseat with my bros
we've been on the road
hittin' potholes in the sprinter van
i'm leanin' out the window
breeze all in my coat
you were on my mind before this began
and if truth truly be told
when i'm all alone
i scroll on my phone tryna reminisce
it don't matter where we go
i just hope you know
you the one thing that i always miss

you the one thing that i always miss (x4)

potholes

lyrics
--------
kill me
take me out of my own misery
baby you know that you miss me
baby i know that you miss me
i don't want this to be simply
put but i miss you so dearly
i just want you to be with me
i just want you to be with me

projecting my thoughts on the ceiling
i watched as the paint started peeling
it couldn't withstand all the weight i'm afraid it's too late
now the structures revealing
the stars beyond boards in the distance
i reach to the sky for assistance
but heaven is lightyears away and the sky's rather gray
so i think that i missed it
i sit & i ponder bout whether
i'm able to predict the weather
cause if i am capable of it 
my dearly beloved we'd belong together
but that's only half of the story
i wish i could soak up the glory
but anxiety's got a grip on my shoulders
and shit i don't know if i'm sorry

and they say you miss all of the shots that you don't ever take
so i've been photographing every moment spent while i'm awake
i'm a critic my worst enemy my hours decimate
i'm afraid of running out of time it's hard to explicate
expediting life expectancies like how much can i take
i set standards while i drown myself compile all the weight
this discography's disgusting i'm ashamed of all i make
but this sequel subsequently pieced together all the breaks
breaking down inside my bedroom nothing new upon my plate
repetitious vicious cycles i'll recycle all my hate
channel every fucking ounce back towards myself oh what a waste
god if i could only disappear without a single trace

it'd be bliss
i would not be missed
they pretend they like you you disgusting piece of shit
salvage all the cargo from this busted rustic ship
so i can sail away upon whatever i equipped

phantom's return

lyrics
--------
please don't go
i've been swaying to & fro
i've been waiting all alone
in the dark without your glow
so please don't go
i'm afraid you'll never show
i'll abandon all i know
if it keeps us both afloat
  
the worst part
being a misfit
is that you misfit
amongst the misfits
unless you try your
hardest to fit in
what is the mission
what are you missing
i hate the distance
between my heart and my home
it feels like every place i've roamed has left me feeling alone
i think a lot about the ways that i could leave but i don't
cause i've got lots to fucking say in all these things that i wrote
i pass the blunt to my bro
he's sick of feeling the same
we put another in rotation just to ease all our pain
it's evident that our intent is reinventing our names
a break is needed when you grieving off what's lost in the flames
and i've got lots of fucking reasons to cement what i say
you pay a penny for my thoughts a couple more for the train
we heading north up to new york i'll talk to you the whole way
we'll trade some music for some memories that pass through the day
so please don't go
please don't go

the pines

lyrics
--------
i've been ridin thru the city in the dark while it's lifeless
inside this car is where i found my fucking light switch
stopped doing stupid shit like knife hits
this life isn't priceless
y'all back home the reason imma write this
you a lame lame
it's a shame shame
you took your picture
outta the frame frame
i thought you changed changed
you playin games games
i hardly know you
we ain't the same same
you tryna blame blame
oh what a claim claim
who is the person
that you became came
couldn't relate late
my path is paved paved
so i just packed up & got away way

a-okay
yeah i'm smiling with the sun in my face  
i said wait okay
now the rains pickin up tryna put me in my place
i said wait wait okay kay
borrowed time till im in a grave grave
gonna dig dig and they gon take take
the same ones attending my wake wake 

when the bass hit bass hit
i went back to basics
scrapped another album
i ain't working on no lame shit
genre clashing all the time but i ain't ever lane switch
some of you just play the role while i've been on the same shit
seven in the morning i'm just tryna start my day shit
whippin to the coffee shop the soundtrack on my playlist
horror film apparel chrismas carols on my feet though
peril sent the beat & i just hit it like a cheat code
flipped through all the pages read a story bout a hero
thought i could relate cause at one point he was a zero
time will tell my story if my time is one to borrow
live it how you want cause you might never wake tomorrow

never wake tomorrow all that's left is your achievements
fillin up my cup in hell along with all your grievance
-is it kinda funny how my death changed your perception
was it all coincidence or was it my intention?
deafening to most but some will understand the story
i don't want it all but i want outta purgatory
so it wrote a song or two in hopes that i could reach it
found another key inside my soul i'm playing defense
with it cause i gotta i don't wanna lose control
cause the weight of all the words excused sit still inside my soul
i'm mistreated by my friends sometimes so i stand all alone
i don't fuck with anybody it's a waste of what i know

i don't really think i know you you're a undeveloped mold
it's the people you hold close to you that treat you fucking cold
they stay plotting on the kid & take a bid on when i'll fold
then they wonder why i'm distant and so hard to get ahold
of the people in your life how many gotchu till the grave
probably one or two be honest with yourself and not ashamed
yeah the good ones hard to come across but when you do it's great
life is beautiful in solitude i really can't complain

borrowed time (prod. peril x suli x gwapmane)

lyrics
--------
flowars
--------
i’m feeling great (yeah)
like crawling out a grave (yeah)
you can’t see my face yet
but don’t seem afraid (yeah)
i can’t seem to shake the
(don’t look back)
vibe that you’re awake
i hope you can run fast

(yeah yeah)
this is just a game and it sure ain’t safe
i’m just a ghost and i don’t have a face
if you wanna know then i just need a taste
the red on my blade has a delicate sheen
i love what i do
and i love when they scream for me

blood won’t fall without some gravity
don’t bother asking what’s wrong with me
i’m not broken rather i feel free
i just love to hear you scream
and if the hair on the back of your neck
don’t stand up straight right now
i might have to riot
wait…
cause i’m lurking in the dark
and you really oughta hurry on back home
if i catch you i won’t let go
if you beg me i’ll just smile
and the fight is worth the while for the prize

i can’t resist while you still exist
your blood on my lips is like
pure dopamine just ecstasy
i need you in my life

guardin
--------
i need you, i need you close
i need you, i need you close
i need you, i need you closer (x2)

got a hand full of dirt
as i crawl through the earth
as i make my way to these vacant places
that i hardly remember
as these memories all flood
i start draggin through the mud
with a knife in hand
i'm laying out the plan
& all i'm craving is your blood

so come over
three leaf clover
ain't no luck inside this room
got some posies in my pocket
imma lay em on your tomb
for some closure
i can close your eyes
accept that you are doomed
take the hook
out of your back
and try to run if you want to
you won't make it that far
if i catch you in my grip
you'll be quick to confiscate
what's in the holster on my hip
do not test my capabilities 
i'm built fully equipped
ain't no treats inside this home
you all alone with all these tricks

and we go through all of these cycles
you probably think i'm psycho
that's okay cause i came all this way
just to hit pause on all of your vitals
this could be the revisal
if you focus on your survival
better set your clock 
cause you know i won't knock
when it comes time for me to be michael
myers with the mask
i slash and gash you into two
i don't need no reservation
resurrecting's what i do
so if you see me in your neighborhood
try your best not to scream
cause i'll carve you like a pumpkin
have a happy halloween

guardin x flowars - midnight grove (prod. chxse bank)

Love Blind [Prod. OldTongue]

ft. @sewerperson x @lilnarnia
prod. @youlooktiredx

lyrics
--------
wish i would’ve stayed in my bed
put all my dreams in my nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath
(x2)

looks like you’ve got nothing done
your value is lost
oh what have you become
the critic inside you is holding a gun
to your head one false move and the chamber is spun
i’m a fake to myself live uncomfortably numb
mechanism for coping is biting my tongue
i’ve lost focus in all this sought solace in sun-
-light is burning my eyes which direction is it coming from
stupid thoughts hault my momentum run from everyone
and everything ignore your friends & family it’s fun
i stopped caring so damn long ago zero to one
i commentate my complications constantly i’m done

wish i would’ve stayed in my bed
put all my dreams in my nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath
(x2)

you cannot hurt me
but she gon break me down into a fine pulp
this shit taste like chicken i can barely tell its asphalt
sumn creep up behind me when i turn around its no one
she could rip my face from off my body and its my fault
pause
she dont really mean it she just do it for the applause
i choose not to believe it all of a sudden i am calm
im convinced they hate me but they lock it in their thoughts
i just need some reassurance here and there to keep me going
girl can u tell me whats up
i cant read ur face when u got ur walls up
look out on the lake u could see it light up
its even better in the winter u should try to come up

seems like summer never started
haven’t left my apartment in months
why can’t I just get you out
keep screaming with my head down
feels like nothing is an option
and im always exhausted
tryna pull myself together
check my phone and its december whatever
wish i would’ve stayed youda liked that
put all my dreams in a nightstand
you said i changed with your eyes red
whispered okay under my breath

yeah
she makes home feel like a home in my head
and when i’m with her i feel hope again

willow ave (ft. sewerperson x lil narnia) (prod. youlooktired)

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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cocoon

guardin

Recent comments

): Yung Jisatsu :(

prab

Lovely 💓

Friex

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