A part of me when you left in November that night.

just in case y'all need it (I know you do) I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AWESOME AND I KNOW YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST AND I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ALL 🩷❤️

another lil throwback/unreleased track from 2020
never got around to finishing this one
but i thought i'd drop what i had

@prodbartes

lyrics
--------
fought my way through half of november
i was sick & then i got better
you came back to start a new chapter
i was scared for what would come after
the lights went off cold nights in december
held you tight our hearts burn like ember
called your cab & left you my sweater
all these things i wish you'd remember

all these things i wish you'd remember (prod. bartes)

original song written and sung by Nathan Della Rovere Freeman 

Never' Never Land

I love you all! please go check out Lux and Guardin!!
@lux_45
@guardinmusic

LYRICS-

Yung van:
Call me back I need you right now
On the ground as the rain pours down
Where'd you go when i needed you 
Where'd you go when I needed you
Call me back as the rain pours down
On the ground I need you right now 
Where'd you go when I needed you
Where'd you go when I needed you 
I called you but I can't speak
But I can hear you breathing
I'm wide awake cause I can't sleep
and I can only think of you

guardin:
think too much, i'm so lost, where my head go?
 trippin' now, blankin' out to the echo
all i fears finally here, movin' mad slow 
pacing now, trace your frown when i let go 
falling back into the depths of my own mind
 i'd be lying to you baby if i said that i was fine 
i've been rearranging furniture & finding stuff inside 
like the crystals in my pockets that you probably left behind 
i don't wanna be without you 
baby i am not okay without you

FOLLOW MY MAN LUX!!!

you were my best friend w/ guardin (Prod. Lux45)

Thank you for everyone who has supported me and my friends! i will miss you flowars <3

Links-
@guardinmusic
@daddydandy

flowars x guardin x yung van - lavender dreams (Prod. charlie c)

Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＷＡＮＮＡ　ＢＥ　ＳＯＢＥＲ

//私の時間は終わった//

lyrics

doormat

a mess, inside a body of a man

featuring my friend @guardinmusic

blackheartemoji
an album from @prodbybrody and thebreathingbackwards

lyrics: https://genius.com/thebreathingbackwards-what-i-am-lyrics

blackheartemoji

spotify

what i am (ft. guardin)

shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/bornhero for the amazing beat <3

lyrics:
where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i do not know
how to fit in
smoking me out
ripping a spliff  
everyone loves me when i go and dip
everyone loves me when i go and dip

everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
everyone leaves me on read
everyone leaves me for dead
stuck in my bed once again
writing the same lines in pen
i'm stuck here 
writing simple songs
hope to take the pain away
when my eyes turn to gray
i know 
that my secrets buried deep below the bong
will release
every thought i'm feeling making me do wrong

where i belong
i will not know
every weekend i'm feeling so low
no where to go 
staying at home
staring at walls scrolling twitter alone
hit up my phone
leave you on read
people around treating me like i'm dead
feel like a ghost
no one will post
sit in my bed think about you again   

no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti
no one invites me to parties
sit in a car acting sorry
girls playing me like atari
soon i'll blow up like i'm carti

i take control of the whip in my mind
driving me places that i can't define
exploring the road, taking my time
lie to my friends when i say i'm alright
where have i gone
i do not know 
hop in the car and i'm driving alone
phone is on silent not trusting these tones
i feel the weight all the way to my bone

where i belong 
i do not know
stuck in my room
crying at home
watching the parties from my distant phone
everyone always just leaves me alone
i take control of the whip 
going straight 90 i dip
exploring the vessel of me
tell me about what you see

where i belong (prod. born hero)

original sample: https://soundcloud.com/kahlua-and-milk/cheap-wine-1
by kahlua and milk 

shattered:
your beauty is something to notice
unravel my mind like a lotus
got something to say you might know this
but everytime i see you i just lose focus 
lips on your thighs got the roses beside 
swear to god i think the stars have aligned
drunk out my mind like your pussy is wine
stuck on your lips like a grape to a vine 
words fall from petals like roses
loving you shawty you know this
cupid hit me at my lowest
missing you takes all my focus

9TAILS:
turning grey
youll be okay though
no halo
i am no angel
gotta worn down old face
cold gaze
how im spose to love you how u want it
with a full plate
every step i stumble i got no grace
its a trick maze
up inside my mind im on a tight rope
how i fix it up fuck if i know
fuck a high note
smoking blunts singing slow while my eyes low
thoughts attack me make the lyrics sappy
turn up the tune cause my voice scratchy like a vinyl
i hear another person bitching i might uninstall the game
eye strain back pain tooth aches weed shakes
took a break from the music for a week 
came back and it was all the same
new face with the same sound
damn
something like a "we already lost" game plan
fucking up they life to make a new song slam
u wont make a banger just because u kick cans
still it could be poppin if u got the right friends
no reason to sweat it tho u bringing in bands
you and me are gone eventually we all end
we should live the life we proud to live amen to that
amen to that

shattered:
your beauty is something to notice
unravel my mind like a lotus
got something to say you might know this
but everytime i see you i just lose focus 
i'm losing sleep over you
dreaming of colors that i never knew
painting the picture of you in my mind
wish i could somehow just stop all the time 
from the ashes of your love
we can go and fly above
leaving rainbows when we die
really hate it when you cry
feeling really slow
i got the flow
give her the ice now she colder than snow
i wanna know will she love me for long
or is it a feeling from ripping the bong

flowars:
babe i'm afraid
i'm just letting you know
i never loved someone like you before
hearts in my eyes
i been shot in the skull
mind in the sky
feeling gravity's pull
oh
words fall like petals from roses
your beauty is never unnoticed
shawty you're glitching my focus
oh shit
shawty you're glitching my focus
you're bringing hope to hopeless
i think you already know this
know this

lotus love w/ 9TAILS & flowars (prod. taurusmoon)

ＹＯＵ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＮＯＴ　ＴＡＫＥ　
ＴＨＩＳ　ＡＷＡＹ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＭＥ

//安定したあなたの呼吸//

i can't begin to thank you guys enough for everything we've accomplished, even just this year alone. i never imagined i would reach this point, but i am incredibly grateful of it & i promise it's only up from here. i'm sorry for a lack of releases lately, but i've kept busy with touring & meeting all of you beautiful people & i can't wait to do it again with these tours comin' up next year. i love you guys.

merry christmas <3

lyrics
--------
now that i'm back on the road
you're in your bed all alone
it's alright i'm doing okay
and in my mind you're in the doorway
now that i'm back in my zone
i smoke till my seams come unsewn
you could not take this away from me
you could not take this away from me
work so damn hard on my own
sit in my bedroom alone
i did this shit all in one take
you could not touch what i'm on mate
steady your breathing it's cold
and your eyes are made out of coal
crying but your tears are snowflakes
and this car that's comin' got no breaks

i've been livin' my life to the fullest
anxiety comes but it won't sit 
got tossed in the bag but it won't zip
cause i killed my mind all in one hit
blast to the past & i feel it
the days we put stars on our ceilings
the tape on my hearts always peeling
and i do not find that appealing
so maybe i
contemplate strategize ways to ease my mind
sit awake and i bake all through the night
touch base with your face being close to mine
and maybe you
can't sleep cause your dreams never seem to soothe
so you spark in the dark tryna make your move
touch me & i fall but i play it cool

(lost in your embrace and i'm longing for your taste love
said we'd runaway but you hardly ever say much)

now that i'm back on the road
you're in your bed all alone
it's alright i'm doing okay
and in my mind you're in the doorway
now that i'm back in my zone
i smoke till my seams come unsewn
you could not take this away from me
you could not take this away from me
work so damn hard on my own
sit in my bedroom alone
i did this shit all in one take
you could not touch what i'm on mate
steady your breathing it's cold
and your eyes are made out of coal
crying but your tears are snowflakes
and this car that's comin' got no breaks

snowflakes

lyrics
--------
i bet you like
the way that i
sit inside on a friday night
doing nothing with my life
while you’re out partying with other guys 
but i’m not wise 
& these aren't lies
according to you it’s all in my mind
but i see the things that they post online
and it makes me sick to my fucking spine
i worry a lot about the day you leave 
cause the day you leave is the day i leave 
and i think too much about suicide 
about killing time 
about time i try 
something new 
cause this shit gets old but i love the way that she says i love you
and i tried many times to rewind to the days you were mine
and i tried many times to erase what we made what have i done
cause a part of me died when you left in november that night 
think he’s right beside you telling you what to say to me why
do i think what i think cause i think i’m in love with a lie

inside

lyrics
--------
i don't think i've
ever been this fucking stressed in my life
creature part two isn't finished i lied
just to get them off my back though i tried
i can't create when i'm dying inside
moving this weekend i wish i could fly
don't have my car but i still gotta drive
pack up the uhaul and tell my mom bye
hop on i-86 thinkin' bout why

am i like this
i don't like this
all my friends are enemies behind my eyelids
losing sleep i drive all week and raise my mileage
guardin cut his fucking hair now i don't like him
depression take me by 25
fuck going out i'll just stay inside
this isn't you i say to myself every night lately i contemplate suicide
oh but you're famous online so your life must be great they say but that's a fucking lie
crawl into bed around seven a.m. and the headaches come full force i wanna die

hey holywood would your people ever like me?
misunderstood is all i ever might be

all i ever might be

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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. ⋆ 　　　
　 · 　　
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inside

guardin

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