I don’t mind when I sleep alone without you!

🌈✨L0n3Ly f0r3v3R✨🌈

Hold on to that feeling

Ｉ　ＤＯＮ＇Ｔ　ＴＨＩＮＫ　Ｉ＇Ｍ　ＲＥＡＬ

//私の軌道の悪魔//

i can't thank you guys enough for the endless amount of love & support you've given me since the start. i never thought in a million years we'd be where we're at right now & it's crazy to me that we still continue to grow. it's always been a release for me to let loose on a track & hear what you guys think of it. it's always been for the people & for myself. i love waking up every morning & reading every single comment, every single message, etc. you guys put the biggest fucking smiles on my face & i hope you all know i'm here for you as much as you're here for me. i've struggled with my anxiety & depression for years & to know a lot of you are going through the same things is somewhat comforting. we're in this together. i couldn't do any of this without you guys. we're gonna strive & do great things, i promise. don't let your demons get the best of you. i hope you enjoy this one. i love you

check out the music video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtv87HVgnpo&t=1s

art by chunniboy
be sure to give him lots of love
goo.gl/asxd7w

music video

demons in my orbit

prod @notmorgn

listen on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd_Xqqx_St8

whats wrong or whats right
im bouta take a flight like should i say goodbye 
fuck that imma hold onto my pride
momma raised a soldier so i can't afford to cry
lookin back i see the knife in my back now
lookin at life wishing i was in the background 
lookin back i see my future in the past now
90 in the whip like should i crash now

im so sick of this im so sick of shit nobody listening 
demons all around diamonds wet just like a christening 
wait why you always high when you call me
why'd u ask what's wrong when you saw me (X2)

chemicals running through my veins i just wanna sleep 
feelings bleeding out my brain but right now i can't feel a thing 
woke up late time to waste away
my favorite days are the rainy days
let it soak in then i throw it all away
i try my best but this feeling always stays
you know i try but you gotta gimme space
and i dont wanna hurt you if you get in my way

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

im so sick of this

Thank you for everyone who has supported me and my friends! i will miss you flowars <3

Links-
@guardinmusic
@daddydandy

flowars x guardin x yung van - lavender dreams (Prod. charlie c)

prod. @notmorgn
featuring @guardinmusic

(guccihighwaters)
she said I look upset but girl 
there’s passion in this frown
cus i think i am obsessed with the all the 
love when your around
why they want smoke with me
not a stoner
when she’s not here im a loner
she too bad you can’t clone her
i live for her im a donor

i’d rather be ghost this season
disconnected i don’t like the feeling
thoughts ricochet with the walls and the ceiling
my chest so tight i can’t even feel my breathing

(guardin)
i'll stop breathing 
lie awake in the night fight the feeling 
fuck love i'm a mess for a reason 
six feet in the dirt for the season
i don't like this
life without the hue of your iris
erase your face embedded in my eyelids
patience paints the face of the silent 

sorry i'm not coming down 
elevated all around 
my conscience thinks i'm falling out
of grip i ripped the bong & now i'm

(guardin and guccihighwaters)
stoned beyond belief i know 
i fucked it up it goes to show 
that i get high when i feel low
please pick me up & take me home

(guccihighwaters)
i’d rather be ghost this season
disconnected i don’t like the feeling
thoughts ricochet with the walls and the ceiling
my chest so tight i can’t even feel my breathing

rather be a ghost (feat. guardin)

Ｉ＇ＬＬ　ＲＵＮ　ＳＯ　ＦＡＲ　ＦＲＯＭ　
ＴＨＥＳＥ　ＳＨＡＤＯＷＳ

//私の心の断片//

lyrics
-------
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i think i found the antidote
i think i found another road
i think i found some fucking hope
nope
i think i'm tryna find a way
to rid of all these darker days
but my minds trapped inside a maze 

so i'll run so far from these shadows
makeshift but my hearts still fragile
i'd drown but the waters too shallow
my heads still caught in the gallows
your kiss is my remedy
i fall to the ground so desperately
baby i know that you're mad at me
filling all the voids like cavities 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 
i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you 

i guess this feeling lasts forever
i guess we'll never be together
you're colder than i can remember
but the ice is melting quickly 
i'm still wishing that you'd miss me

but you're gone and i never could replace you
mistraced new face but it ain't you
rebuilding the forts that i made you
no love but my hearts tryna break thru
my chest cause its caving in
i dwell in a cell in a realm of sin
six shots to the face of rum & gin
i'm dead in the head so i guess you win 

i think i'd be better off alone 
without you 
i don't mind when i sleep all alone
without you

solitary

ily all
@guardinmusic
@i_x_t_a_i_l_s
prod @antongxldn

lyrics
sadeyes:
i've got 3 missed calls its only 8pm
how do i tell you that we're just friends
i've got cigarettes i'm alone again
whiskey shots always jameson

don't act like i hate you, you know that i don't
you don't have a reason to blow up my phone

sit in the dark ima play my guitar
ima pray that i make it how have i 

made it this far
this far
this far 
this far x2

look at the night sky 
look at the stars
look at the bright side
look at my scars

emotionally bruise me when we fight in the car
every ounce of hate you carry tears me apart

how do i cope with the pain, every day you push me away
you wanna fuck and you know what i'll say
i don't need relationship shit in my way, stay out the way

guardin:
stay out my way i don't want you
drunk in my bed i won't fuck you
love isn't something i want dude
we're simply friends thought i told you

i don't wanna hear it anymore
your voice punctures through my head and i cannot ignore
anymore these advances are just smothering me quick
let me dabble in the gravel with my ganja and a bic

i think this winter left you colder than the breeze
i think you suffer from another lovers leave
might be just a sense of lust the love you have for me
anxiously outta focus i'm just hopin' i can breathe

i've got 3 missed calls its only 8pm
how do i tell you that we're just friends
i've got cigarettes i'm alone again
whiskey shots always jameson


9tails:
too deep down in my brain again
i swam a little bit and drown
in my lonliness

emtions buried deep down arc reactor ironman
rip two bowls get high again
go face roll on life again

game unlocked
like im notch
tommy flag
on my socks
i dont care 
if u watch
but you cant chip in on this blunt
sad as fuck
so i stunt
drop a track
smellin skunk
smellin farts
in the smoke
from the weed not from my bum

girl i can tell that you like me ya
body and mind that could strike me ya
attitude ready to fight me
speaking her mind and i like it

heart breaker wear it like nike
did you the same and its high key
focused as fuck you cant sike me
ill cover my ears u cant mike me

emotions like blue when they snowball
i come alive at night fall
flow with some flavour like menthol
music turn into a day job

icy heart like a face off
she went back to take my face off
of the photos of us on her facebook
moving on like im driftwood

i've got 3 missed calls its only 8pm
how do i tell you that we're just friends
i've got cigarettes i'm alone again
whiskey shots always jameson

8pm w/ guardin & 9tails (prod. antongxldn)

with @guardinmusic @i_x_t_a_i_l_s @sewerperson
prod and mixed: @jakkyboi and @lilpolearm

whatever it takes (feat. guardin & 9tails)

guitar, production -https://soundcloud.com/poppytears

shout out to https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s for jumping on this one with me  

"Behind Screens" full album: https://open.spotify.com/album/25XjozBMStYBDrlGk3wqHw?si=xAQ3iCJaTb6kz4hOhSMS0g

featuring: https://soundcloud.com/familypet
https://soundcloud.com/4ever-falling https://soundcloud.com/lilhappylilsad
https://soundcloud.com/i_x_t_a_i_l_s

cover art: www.instagram.com/kenny_ravee/

Bandcamp link: https://lilsedative.bandcamp.com/track/healthy-relief-ft-9tails-remastered

love you all

LYRICS: 

9TAILS:
not much i can do
pretty girls always needed more acceptance from you
i told her I'd
love if we ran away
cheap grams and cheap faith arent much of a reason to stay
and we could come back anytime but my souls had enough for today
enough with these moodswings i love you i love you but please go away
she feeds me real great
i can only wait so long
i can only show you once
december weather got my fingers numb
we end with the day
were gone with the sun

Poppy Tears: 

You call yourself a rockstar 
and you can't even play the fucking guitar
I know it isn't in your heart 
couldn't give two fucks about the art

we all fade away like a picture losing colour inside it's frame 
are we all waiting for the day, the day we look back upon what we made

like was it worth it 
Am I deserving
I'm still learning 
with death I'm flirting 

I slow my heart rate 
I've made that mistake 
feel my bones shake 
and find my own lane

✧ spotify ✧

healthy relief w/ 9TAILS (prod. poppy tears)

ＹＯＵ　ＣＯＵＬＤ　ＮＯＴ　ＴＡＫＥ　
ＴＨＩＳ　ＡＷＡＹ　ＦＲＯＭ　ＭＥ

//安定したあなたの呼吸//

i can't begin to thank you guys enough for everything we've accomplished, even just this year alone. i never imagined i would reach this point, but i am incredibly grateful of it & i promise it's only up from here. i'm sorry for a lack of releases lately, but i've kept busy with touring & meeting all of you beautiful people & i can't wait to do it again with these tours comin' up next year. i love you guys.

merry christmas <3

lyrics
--------
now that i'm back on the road
you're in your bed all alone
it's alright i'm doing okay
and in my mind you're in the doorway
now that i'm back in my zone
i smoke till my seams come unsewn
you could not take this away from me
you could not take this away from me
work so damn hard on my own
sit in my bedroom alone
i did this shit all in one take
you could not touch what i'm on mate
steady your breathing it's cold
and your eyes are made out of coal
crying but your tears are snowflakes
and this car that's comin' got no breaks

i've been livin' my life to the fullest
anxiety comes but it won't sit 
got tossed in the bag but it won't zip
cause i killed my mind all in one hit
blast to the past & i feel it
the days we put stars on our ceilings
the tape on my hearts always peeling
and i do not find that appealing
so maybe i
contemplate strategize ways to ease my mind
sit awake and i bake all through the night
touch base with your face being close to mine
and maybe you
can't sleep cause your dreams never seem to soothe
so you spark in the dark tryna make your move
touch me & i fall but i play it cool

(lost in your embrace and i'm longing for your taste love
said we'd runaway but you hardly ever say much)

now that i'm back on the road
you're in your bed all alone
it's alright i'm doing okay
and in my mind you're in the doorway
now that i'm back in my zone
i smoke till my seams come unsewn
you could not take this away from me
you could not take this away from me
work so damn hard on my own
sit in my bedroom alone
i did this shit all in one take
you could not touch what i'm on mate
steady your breathing it's cold
and your eyes are made out of coal
crying but your tears are snowflakes
and this car that's comin' got no breaks

snowflakes

nights like these ya gotta keep a chop

1000 times (prod. shigitori)

prod. blade901

Cover Art= @orochimoomoo x @orochi_ink on instagram

LYRICS

Damn, you’re just so beautiful
All the things I’d do to you
Won’t you come inside, we could have a little fun
Damn, you’re just so beautiful
All the things I’d do to you
Won’t you come inside, we could have a little fun
 
Loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
I said, loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
I’ll turn Ted Bundy on a bitch
I got a freezer with her name on it
I’ll make lampshades of her perfect skin
I’ll be loving her to pieces
Wait, no
Not a minute, not an hour I can go
Without these urges tryin’ to put me in the hole
I’ll admit it, I been losing my control when I’m alone

But shawty gave me food for thought
Thots as food and collect tear drops
Keep on the move when the feds is hot
Try to use my tools when the feds is not
And a quick one, two…
Gotta sling that glock when a mans fuck you cause he in my spot
You can keep hiding, bitch
Ready or not
You’re gonna fall for me
Like it or not, yeah.
 
Keep you always
Won’t you come inside, we could have a little fun
Forever and always
I won’t bite this time, baby don’t try to run
 
Loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
I said, loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
I’ll turn Ted Bundy on a bitch
I got a freezer with her name on it
I’ll make lampshades of her perfect skin
I’ll be loving her to pieces
Wait, no
Not a minute, not an hour I can go
Without these urges tryin’ to put me in the hole
I’ll admit it, I been losing my control when I’m alone
 
(I’m alone, I’m alone)
(won’t you come inside, we can have a little fun)
 
Loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
I said, loving you hurts
What you don’t understand is that if I can’t have you, no one can
No one can
No one…

Ted Bundy

Ted Bundy (prod. blade901)

lyrics
--------
i don't think i've
ever been this fucking stressed in my life
creature part two isn't finished i lied
just to get them off my back though i tried
i can't create when i'm dying inside
moving this weekend i wish i could fly
don't have my car but i still gotta drive
pack up the uhaul and tell my mom bye
hop on i-86 thinkin' bout why

am i like this
i don't like this
all my friends are enemies behind my eyelids
losing sleep i drive all week and raise my mileage
guardin cut his fucking hair now i don't like him
depression take me by 25
fuck going out i'll just stay inside
this isn't you i say to myself every night lately i contemplate suicide
oh but you're famous online so your life must be great they say but that's a fucking lie
crawl into bed around seven a.m. and the headaches come full force i wanna die

hey holywood would your people ever like me?
misunderstood is all i ever might be

all i ever might be

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


________________________________
⊹ . . 　　 ·· 　 ✦ 　
　 . 　　 
. ⋆ 　　　
　 · 　　
.　 * 
　　 ⊹ 
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solitary

guardin

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