if we're being honest

huge thank you to anthony for working on this one with me
go show him & his band this wild life some love <3

lyrics
--------
and we live just to die
so i pray i'm alright when i do
i'm shooting stars at the sky
not a crow left in my point of view
in the midst of a fight
throwing jabs till i knock out a tooth
if he pulls out a knife
and gets rid of my life
will the righteous ignite me with truth
(cause)
i will hide somewhere behind the dark that casts into
a room that thrives with blinding lights unwinding onto you
if only for a second i'm infected by the hue
please just promise me your honesty cause honestly i hate all that i do

and it lives deep inside
building homes in the holes of my heart
i've set my sights to the light
but i've been paranoid from the start 
red dot beamed on my forehead
deep breath this'll be a night you won't forget
cold sweat dreams terrorizing my cortex
woke up drowning outside on my porch steps
the waters been rising for years
hypnotizing my peers
into thinking they know me
but i live in fear
that they don't quite appear
to the likeness instilled in the old me
i swallow my tears
wander outside for years
with the hope that a god will come smite me
replenish these gears
cut my body with shears
make sure nobody's near even slightly

blue lights flash in the distance
red light stop i don't listen
projectiles from a piston
couldn't do it by myself need assistance
pink matter painted onto the concrete
think of this gunshot as a downbeat
red dot beamed on my forehead
this'll be a night you won't forget

it lives where i live (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
take a breath and count to eight
you're home again & safe
the windows locked in case
say you love what i create
i wish i felt the same
it's only my escape
they say it's not too late
but i accept this fate
this trains become defaced
the monster hunts his prey
the scent of pure decay
it seeps & starts to stain
the seams all start to fray
let's stay inside today

the wind begins to blow
as trees all fill with crows
& watch you as you go
another night alone
we drink to stay afloat
it's closing up my throat
when words do not express
the feelings i compress
they cast beyond my head
& all the lights do fade
the darkness lends us shade
we cease to find our way
let's stay inside today

take a breath & count to eight
you're home again & safe

welcome home (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
do not sell yourself short on what you bring
incomparable to those that believe
oh the time has come
to break bones and bleed
out the pores it flows
spread onto the leaves

the road in front of me's
one of recovery
cover the shelves
hide all the cutlery
coloring subtly 
suddenly
i don't feel quite like myself
real slowly
i'll begin twisting and folding
stripping off layers of clothing
just like a spider i'm molting
i do not know where i'm going
remote location withholding
onto the past it's revolting
i think my brain is corroding
shh this levels still loading
frozen now this game's corrupted
i'm on a path toward destruction
this road is closed for construction
sorry that i'm disappointing

the contortionist (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
start stating the obvious
take weight off of the audience
you're blistering and calloused
in your worn out shoes
forge the path you stagger down
in hopes that you'll come back around
it's cold inside these hand me downs
but i'll pull through
start stating the obvious
take weight off of the audience
you're blistering and calloused
in your worn out shoes
forge the path you stagger down
in hopes that you'll come back around
it's cold inside these hand me downs
but i'll pull through

am i dancing on the edge
or is the edge really imaginary
falling short of breath
i'm reading into what's unnecessary
does this mean anything
cause i am unsure
i'm closing my eyes
becoming one with the decor

substance i need something
i've been floating feeling nothing
i'm in search of what's inside me
several people in my body
i don't know them
they've been lying
twisting cables
falsifying
gripping onto what is left
i'm trying hard to just forget
the person that i am waiting for
once everybody's left ignored
am i deranged for feeling torn
i am i
i am i
is it okay to close my eyes
for i'm afraid of what i'll find
tucked under tape that's stuck inside
holding on
holding on

this is not imaginary
i can feel it flow
trickling inside of me
whenever i'm alone
porcelain my face
& ivory beneath the bone
deep beneath my bones
my absence was temporary
please pick up your phone
sorry for the gaps in conversation
i was stoned
certain i was trying
now i'm dying real slow
guess it's time to go

and now the scars that haunt your mind
capture and hold onto your eyes
lock them in place for one last time
here we are
here we are
for when you wake up you will find
all of the things you've left behind
start to configure and allign
i am i
i am i

one with the decor (prod. anthony del grosso)

lyrics
--------
baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

safety harness me into the mainstream
snip on these straps till i'm dangling
over the heads of the people who i put my trust in
trusted you but now even that's busted
adapting quick well adjusted
you make me sick i'm disgusted
functionality is vital when your future spirals
down a path you've been tryna follow
evidently i'll be hollowed out and placed in piles
it's the price that you pay to smile
they don't like it when i'm speaking out
here we go again you done freaking out
yeah this cold ass world got me freezing
i guess i'll keep dreaming now
it's like this huh

baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

do not forget
it's important
things could be much worse
and surely time will sort it
please don't forfeit
it's important
life is beautiful
in time i'm sure you'll learn that
all we know is we're comfortable
at the rate that things are moving we in slow mo mo
take it with a grain of salt cause we still grow grow grow
planting seeds inside this garden
we ain't finish what we started no

baby don't forget
things aren't always certain
in due time i'll come inside
and hide behind the curtain
lately i forfeit
succumb to the surface
i've got quite the habit
of telling myself i'm worthless

forfeit (prod. anthony del grosso)

make your dreams your reality

△cid c△stle


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welcome home (prod. anthony del grosso)

guardin