harriott

Heart Words (my favourites)

it starts out all nice, then fades into sadness and endings
but at least endings present a long-awaited opportunity to have something you wondered about
that ends because nice things do
distract self with job and spending money on shit
then someone is just like you and that doesn't work either because being with yourself is elucidating
and elucidating is triggering
being stoic and emotionless is better than being a stereotype
you want everything right now even the bad
but everything isnt happiness

year like this (2019)

some mornings i wake up
and just want to be medicated
mum says "get some sun"
but the morning light has faded
i dont have you
i have me, myself and places
i try to find the light
but dont know which way im facing

i try to find the antidote
but the poison's my own
and now i'm writing anecdotes
to feel at home
nothing makes me sicker
than time getting quicker
the blood is running cold
and the water's getting thicker

ive always got to leave first
im so sick of being hurt
i just wanted to be heard
dont know what you see in her
now im thinking i need drugs
maybe im just missing love
im so sick of being hurt
im so sick of being her

ten-thirty and everything is blurry
you said it twice
like you wanted it to hurt me
make it about me
go back to where we were
dont know about you
but everything's a blur

blurry

Jealousy

so good (at looking moody) (2017)

production & mix by bobby:
https://soundcloud.com/user-64306717
https://soundcloud.com/afterthoughtband

so good (at looking moody)

sung with severe, chronic tonsillitis 

you say "im scared of you"
i did what anyone would do
you might say pretty things
but fall to pieces when the phone rings

i turned the light on, just flicked the switch
and now youre going to tell me that im the bitch
you turn the light off, its getting hot
but when i touch you feel like a robot

you say her name softly
when youre lying next to me
you know that youre a mess
but act like theres no consequence

i turned the light on, just flicked the switch
and now youre going to tell me that im the bitch
you turn the light off, its getting hot
but when i touch you feel like a robot

install me
ignore me
leave me lonely
you used me
need a reboot
maybe im a robot too...

i turned the light on, just flicked the switch
and now youre going to tell me that im the bitch
you turn the light off, its getting hot
but when i touch you feel like a robot

but how can i love without a heart?
can you build one with broken parts
"brains do not make one happy 
and happiness is the best thing in the world"

robot 🤖

4. you can't do what you love because that's not realistic, so you play the game cuz everyone else is playing and you can't win if you don't 

making beds makes money
and that just makes my day
nothing makes me happier
than to throw it all away

being a bitch makes poetry
and being with you is sad
so i hold on to my memories
like theyre all ill ever have

i have a list of things id like to do
pinned up against reality
pulled myself away from hope
to see what would come back to me
passions are sleeping, lay low to be free
ear to the ground
to hear how the money speaks

moneys made of paper
and papers made of trees
trees are made of stardust
and stardust turned into me

you might say im money
and i might say youre right
i held myself around the neck 
and kept me up all night

money speaks

1. a throwback to 16 - you're in love and you want more and everything that is bad seems really good

i like the way you wear scarves in the summer
and that stupid look on your face
i like the way you walk with such purpose
and the way you ignore me

if anyone says i cant love you
im gonna prove them wrong
we'll park the car in the backstreet
when they come looking, we're gone

i want that kind of love
that makes me wear my shoes  in the bed
i wanna be the kind of fine
that makes you wonder where the hell we've been
hey im into you
i can tell you all the things that id like to do
if you havent noticed i want to know you

i like the way you text me underneath the table
you laugh when everything is wrong
ive heard every word theyve said
but ive loved you all along

you might be seventeen
with your hands behind your back
dont know why you act so mean
or what youre playing at

i want to know you

2. give chances cuz love, get burned cuz vulnerable, be open-hearted cuz its been forever and it was meant to be forever, move on and ignore everything cuz that's much easier

washed my mouth out with soap
always liked to keep it clean
took my hands in your hands
then put my in a guillotine

tied me to my phone
left me out on the street
kicking on the door
while you were falling asleep
rubbed some salt in the wound
oh thats just like you
so much like you
i like-like you

sitting here in silence
all the places that we have been
took my hands in your hands
like you did when you were seventeen

time to take it all back
didnt mean it like that
skating on thin ice
until we fall through the cracks
you painted us blue
oh thats just like you
so much like you
i like-like you

i tell stories about you and theyre never nice
wouldnt want to remember the things that i liked
i feel defeated by the holidays
im lonely in an unfixable way

i look through the windows at a faded scene
wouldnt want to remember the places weve been
i feel defeated by the holidays
im lonely in an unfixable way

im lonely in an unfixable way

like you

7. and ultimately the relationship reaches its end and that's not really surprising because the end was coming when it started

im over it and under you
i think ill always be confused
sugar melts in my mouth
you bruised me inside and out

acid in the afternoon
while im dying in my bedroom
dont let yourself get too close
youll end up with your hands around my throat

it starts to cut, ive had enough
im so good at giving up
i pack a bad and catch a train
nowhere feels too far away

salt in an open wound
now im crying in your bedroom
wont let myself get too close
ill end up with my hands around your throat

sunlight falls on the bed
i dont want to be alone again
i keep myself in the dark
to walk away with an unbroken heart

gone

3. an ironic reflection on your concealed bitterness about not being loveable enough 

nswf- whoops, too late

daddy

seventeen: reflection on RONA SEASON 

rona season making me feel all 17 again - dying my hair green, having text wars with boys, getting zitty, staying up til 3am, feeling lonely, makeup tutorials on youtube

staying inside
makes me feel alive
so i write my best lines
for some peace of mind

you know i love to complain
in a pretty refrain
u never liked my songs anyway
just leave the room and let them play

playing the part
ends up breaking my heart
try to be what you like
when its not what im like

im trying to make a friend
im trying to make amends
but it never works out for me
its so unfair its like im seventeen

so i start hiding where you’ll never find me
i could say "its okay" but id be lying
so i start a fight
in the middle of the night
to remember what its like
to feel seventeen

seventeen

seventeen again

TDB: https://linktr.ee/TDBmusicaus
Snowball Music: https://www.instagram.com/snowball.musicaus/

seventeen (feat TDB & Snowball)

ive got to get a grip
a new way to get over it
leaving me reeling
is a familiar feeling

i look as laid-back
as a heart attack
i stare at the ceiling
instead of watching you leaving

i like to go in circles baby, they're my favourite shape
its not like playing safe ever helped me find my place

in love with sneezing season
and staying inside
dont need to go out
to know im out of my mind
in love in sneezing season
dont say goodbye
just leave me
you know ill never change my mind

how can i get better
if i change like the weather?
you say its staying the same
i say its keeping me sane

act so cool it could be criminal
im the black sheep, catfish
oh my god
im that bitch

what a way
run away

robot 🤖

Harriet