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help me be me

OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime.


In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you.

This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. 

Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences.  Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship.  In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making.  So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you.

If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b.

http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com


Episode 27: Nine Tools to Build Successful Friendships

Hi my friends! Today’s podcast is about “badges” – or external factors that somehow take on supreme meaning in your life and dictate your self-worth – to you.  Whether it’s a job, a number on the scale, a trophy or an expensive car – a badge can affect you so deeply that your whole world changes in the blink of an eye, almost like a hallucination.  You might have experienced the results of wearing your badges when you’re either on a personal high or low – and the difference between the two worlds is vast and disorienting, despite how small the factors are when put in perspective. 

For example – let’s say you get an accolade at work: you feel like you’re a star, you’re so powerful and confident, you don’t need anyone! You don’t even need to call people back! You are that worth knowing, and everyone loves you.  Maybe you more freely spend money because you’re going places! You look better in the mirror, you feel young, successful, sexy… “Man I impress everyone!” 

The flip side of that coin is pretty dark: when you feel you have failed at something or lack something meaningful. For example, maybe you met someone you liked and texted them, but never got a text back. Suddenly the same you will feel ugly, fat, clumsy, talentless, incapable, and perceive that everyone around you sees you as an imbecile.  Suddenly this hallucination changes your interpretation of everything anyone says to you:  you question whether or not your friends like you, whether or not you are smart, and even how you see your reflection.  From this state of mind, you see your acne as horrendous! “How does anyone like me, at all?”  

And all of this happens in a split second: with one tiny bit of information, your view of yourself and your life - changes. That’s how powerful these external badges can be, and that is not how they should be.  Because that is very unfair to you, to be owned by something so dumb – and it’s making you miss out on the real goods you might experience – you’re focusing on the wrong thing if you want to really understand and appreciate who you are.  Which is great, and a gift of a person to know. 

So if you’re in a place where you feel bad about yourself based on an external definition – so much so that it has taken control of the opinion you hold about yourself– this is a podcast for you.  Perhaps even listen to it twice, because if this is happening to you – this can be untrained just like any other bad habit.  And you deserve for it to stop – cause you’re awesome!

For the blog version, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week, and as always, smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B. 


Episode 36: The Badges That Define You and Dictate Your Self-Worth

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) 

To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting.  If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! 

For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com
Smile lovely friends! xox


Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation

Personal Lily-pads: A Self-Esteem Building Exercise Around Priorities

Hi peeps, this is an exercise for you to use to improve your personal alignment with your priorities and simultaneously boost self-esteem.  It’s actually a process used to heal in any injury in the body – you strengthen the muscles around the area that has been injured in order to give it the time and support to heal.  For example, when you hurt your shoulder, you might be told by doctors to strengthen the muscles around it. The same goes for your personality.  The more of yourself that you dedicate to diverse passions and strengths, the stronger you become and the more confident you feel.  It’s also how you can heal yourself the most quickly. When it comes to a painful loss of a part of your definitions of self, your other passions and roles can grow bigger and help support you in the place of what is gone. So if you are looking to become more stable and confident, this is a self-esteem building exercise for you – and I HIGHLY recommend you do it in a journal. It’s a process that applies to everyone and it has to do with the various skills and passions and practices that identify you to you. 
For more of my writing head to teaspoonofhappy.com xo!

Episode 44: Personal Priorities Pond - A Self-Esteem Building Exercise

This episode is about noticing negative thought patterns when they’re happening. 

What are negative thoughts? Bad habits. They’re not You – they’re the voice of a bad computer framework operating through you being fed by a chemical addition. You are now used to the chemical results of this thinking, so your brain wants to repeat it. They are the trained in ways of being – basically muscle memory but in your brain. So based on old experiences, just like a river wants to flow down the lowest path, so do your thoughts follow existing trained in currents.

The more often you have these thoughts – the stronger the habit becomes. In other words, you have trained in the path of the river with repetition. As a result of that – you now perceive and look for this thought habit in your everyday life – like if you’re thinking of mean people who hate you, you will see mean people who hate you. Because it’s your mindset now. Plus, now that you are looking for this thing, you find it – so negative thinking becomes self-fulfilling. What is most important about all of this: it’s all totally unconscious. The fact that they’re unconscious is also the key to stopping these thoughts! 

This episode is broken up into three parts. What. Why. How aka Tools. For the blog version, check out TeaspoonofHappy.com later this week. It also has my book references for anyone who wants to read further. 

Smile friends! xox

For more of the Buddhist psychological types – check out “The Chemistry of Joy” – linked here:
https://goo.gl/diu91t



Episode 52: How to Stop Negative Thoughts

Hi peeps! This is an episode with a short meditation in part 3. It covers why soothing your body and reducing the chatter in your brain is the key to your ultimate happiness.

As a society we tend to get hyper focused. We get into the groove of our job or our relationships – and we get stressed by how many things there are to worry about. Am I doing well as a person? Am I successful?” When will I get to the right level? How can I be more of what I want to be? Suddenly we’re looking straight down at our feet and trying to take bigger steps instead of keeping our eyes to the beautiful sunrise on the horizon.

This is almost like an introduction to my podcast in that it is truly the KEY to every positive change you want to make in your life. It is also the key to happiness and also the key to finding your life’s purpose. 

What is it? Ready? Listen intently. 

Consciousness: Feeling the feelings that are going through your body as they come. Being fully connected to that awareness and not “occupied” be a roaring sea of thoughts or rapid firing fears and analysis.  Sometimes it’s like facing a roaring lion because some terrible awful stuff lives inside us in many moments of our life.  Feeling hopeless, or worthless or afraid of what if’s to come. And yet, we must allow ourselves to feel those things - it's the key to building your ultimate life.

This is an episode with three parts. The general what, why, and then as a tool, I end with a meditation. 

Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post and I hope you enjoy this! Smile lovelies! xox
Sarah-May



Episode 58: The Importance of Being Present

Hi friends, this is an emotional cleansing power up episode for clearing sorrow and stress and emotional muck. 

It's best to listen to it while you take a short walk outside. It’s a visualization meditation of sorts, one you can do with your eyes open.  If you can’t do this while walking, I recco you do this while in a yoga inversion of some sort. It focuses on calming your nervous system with breathing exercises, and its one I do myself - quite often. I hope you like! xox Sarah May B.


Emotional Heaviness: Releasing Sorrow, Stress and Emotional Muck

Hey peeps, this is a practice to help you retrain your brain out of a negative focus. I just started it and I invite you to do the same: 1 negative-into-positive-gratitude per day! (Not in the place of your current gratitudes, in ADDITION to it!) Hope you join me. xo Sarah May B.

Help Me Be Me • Power-Ups

30 Days of Gratitude Challenge

Jennifer is a therapist who is feeling physically depleted after working with clients.&nbsp; Christine gives her best tips for protecting her energy and serving people in a way that is energizing, not depleting.&nbsp; James is 54 years old and has worked at the same office job for three decades. He is interested in shifting to becoming self-employed but is disappointed he has not been able to get his new career off the ground. Listen in as Christine addresses both these topics. &nbsp; Links mentioned: Love: Practice Makes the Master!&nbsp; Join Christine and Aubrey Marcus for an empowering and transformational retreat in Austin.&nbsp; &nbsp;  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-practice-makes-the-master-tickets-33443861490 &nbsp; EP 83: Letting Go of Parental “Mistakes” with Cathy. Make sure to listen to this episode to hear Christine talk about the difference between sympathy and compassion.h christinehassler.com/2017/04/episode83/ &nbsp; &nbsp;

CC: Christine answers questions about how to not “take on’ other people’s stuff and how to restart your career.

This episode is about reassurance. Laura is a people pleaser. She goes above and beyond for people and doesn’t get it back in return. She then feels disappointed. I work with her on understanding why she people pleases, why it’s selfish to be a people pleaser, and how to shift out of the pattern. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode89] You may have heard me say this many times before, but people pleasing is selfish. It’s really all about you. You are the one who doesn’t want to upset people, you want to avoid confrontation, and you are the one who is worried about how people perceive you. Laura knows how to be loving and giving; she just needs to direct it towards herself. Use this call as a catalyst to look at your own patterns without judgment, and without beating yourself up. The key to personal development is to work on yourself, without thinking anything is wrong with you. No one outside of you can give you the acceptance and love you need. And, to shift out of a pattern, we have to let go of things from our past. We have to come to peace with the fact that some people in our lives are never going to change. Many people don’t have the tools to change, or they don’t want to change. The older they get, the more their patterns are reinforced. If you feel like the black sheep of the family, or you don’t fit it, it’s ok. You may be the change maker and the lightworker. You may be the one who is willing to break generational patterns. You can love and accept your biological family but find your soul family. As Gandhi said, be the change you wish to see in the world. Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you relate to being a people pleaser? ● Can you acknowledge yourself for your accomplishments, but struggle acknowledging yourself for just who you are? ● Do you feel like the black sheep of your family, and sometimes you are afraid to be who you are because you might lose your family’s approval? Laura’s Question: Laura feels she goes above and beyond for people, and they don’t return the effort. She wants to know how to break the pattern of being a people pleaser. Laura’s Key Insights and Ahas: ● People don’t put as much effort into her as she does for them. ● She continues to look for the love and acceptance she wanted from her mother and father in other people. ● She is looking for attention and validation. ● She feels genuine in her job as a social worker. ● Her father never told her he loved her, and she resents him for it. ● She blames herself for what happened to her as a child. ● She is ready to break past patterns. ● She is the lightworker in her family. How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should accept her parents didn’t give her the love and acceptance she wanted, and give herself the love, acceptance, and validation she didn’t get when she was little. ● Everything she wants people to say to her, she should say to herself. ● She should accept her position as the lightworker in her family. Takeaways: ● When you are doing things for others, check in with yourself to see if you are giving without any expectations or attachment to getting something in return. Ask yourself is this giving really coming from love. ● Reverse the golden rule — Do unto yourself as you do unto others. ● Forgive the past. Let it go. and stop expecting people to change. ● Have gratitude and acceptance if you are the black sheep of the family, and find your soul family. Sponsor: ONNIT: Get a 10% discount on your order by using this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Inner Circle Membership Community Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Jill@Christinehassler.com

EP 89: Stop Pleasing People with Laura

I get a little more personal on this episode of Coaches Corner and talk about some of the amazing coaches and people that have helped me in profound ways.&nbsp; And often the profound ways have involved a dose of “tough love” which is not always easy to take in.&nbsp; I share with you how to receive tough-to-hear feedback in a neutral way so that you can shift old patterns and beliefs. &nbsp; &nbsp;

CC: Tough love and people who have helped me in profound ways

This is for anyone who’s going through a stage in life when they are necessarily dealing with a shit-storm of really difficult responsibilities. Like life has demanded you put yourself on “managing mode” and you have to take care of others for an extended period of time. Or maybe you can’t attend to your normal self-care routine and haven’t been able to for a while, and you’re barely just dealing with the day to day – as of now. This is really for you to listen to, to remember yourself and remember where you are and feel your own hands and feet and feel okay. And more importantly – ways to take a breather and check in with yourself, in the hopes of bringing a tiny bit more balance back into the equation. This one was a request from a listener from a while back - hope it helps!

For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB xo!

Help Me Be Me

Ep 103: How to Keep Your Balance During Times of Life Chaos and Hardship

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com