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Journaling & Self-Examination

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self heeeeelllllllpppppp

An emotional power-up for when you are feeling down about unmet goals and need help getting un-stuck.   

Don't Be Discouraged!

Freaking out about something in your life? Overwhelmed by anxiety over the future? We've all been there! This is an emotional power-up for this kind of state - specifically when you're working on yourself and overcoming a super difficult emotional issue. For example: an eating disorder, self-cutting, any unhealthy managing problem of any kind. Because everything is in your power to change when it comes to your focus and energy. So don't panic - if you're doing the work, the momentary freak outs will pass if you go through the motions of self-care. Soothe in healthy ways and first things first. 

If you are suffering extreme pain and need help call 9-11 or an emergency service. Don't dwell in places that feed the darkness! xo

Panic and Fear: When You're Overcoming a Big Scary Issue

It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life.  You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff.  Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions.  Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself.  
Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo.  This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want.  And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is.  

If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming.  So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. 

Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become.  That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com so keep an eye out in the next couple days.

Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!!
This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. 
xo! Sarah May B.


Episode 23: Where to start the process of personal growth

Warning - I say a couple bad words in this one! And it's cause the topic demands it. This is a little "confrontational" power-up for anyone who's hating on themselves and feeling like a loser.  It's to help you stop the negative thoughts and focus on more positive and relevant thoughts - like what you want to do that makes you happy! I hope you likee and if you want more there's a bunch of tools on the links below:
xox Sarah May b

http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com
teaspoonofhappy.squarespace.com/bookstore/

When You're Hating On Yourself and Feel Like a Loser *Contains Sparse Profanity

OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime.


In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you.

This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. 

Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences.  Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship.  In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making.  So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you.

If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b.

http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com


Episode 27: Nine Tools to Build Successful Friendships

Does your brain start chattering and seemingly never stop?  Do you feel distracted and unable to focus?  This is for anyone who is trapped in chronic thinking. Like your brain won’t seem to shut up and it’s getting a bit noisy up there. I will cover the what, the why, and most importantly, the solution. There are about 10 different super silly tools to get you started. And apologies in advance - I also drop the F-bomb. (Just once!)

This is for Cindy – and it’s a great topic. Thanks for suggesting this girl!

Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com for the blog post with all my references and research  -it will be live later this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah-May B.

Episode 29: How to Stop Thinking So Much - Tools for Chronic Overthinking

This is a different kind of power-up episode to inspire a positive state of life. It’s a simple one that I offer you as you begin your weekend. And yes, it’s called “A teaspoon of happy” – just like my blog title! What does that mean? It’s super cutesy and girly, yes. It sounds good on a site like Hello Giggles, yes. But it’s actually my methodology – my approach to happiness. Because I think of it as a recipe. One I would like to offer you. I hope you enjoy! xox


A Teaspoon of Happy

We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful.  Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore.  For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs.  

It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them.  In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo 
For more of my writing head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com 


Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others

Heads up, this is recorded on my iPhone, so forgive me, it’s not the best quality – it’s a post-yoga reflection that I just had to record for you as soon as it came to mind, so I hope you enjoy it. It’s a short meditation to do as we enter this new year full of awesome potential. A way to check in with your thoughts and reorganize them so that you can better your trajectory, see what you’re holding onto that’s not serving you, what’s playing on a loop in your head, and what has manifested in your life that you might want to tweak. Much love and have a happy new year! Xo Smile loves. 

A Simple Reflection Exercise for Clarity and Awareness

This is a power-up episode all about how to be more present in your everyday life – specifically when it comes to your human interactions.  This is something I decided to record after reading (listening to) “When Breath Becomes Air” and this episode of All in the Mind – the guest is this amazing woman called Christine Bryden who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in her 40s. She’s amazing and so is this interview. Her latest book is called “Before I Forget.” Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy – it’s very much my train of thought, so be forgiving…
Xox
Sarah May B.

When Breath Becomes Air:
http://amzn.to/1LmSgmo

All in the Mind:
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/2015-12-13/7012970

Before I Forget:
http://amzn.to/1LmShHc

If you're looking for more content, subscribe to "Love is Like a Plant" by new podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com – it’s all about love and break-ups:
https://soundcloud.com/loveislikeaplant


How to Be There: A Simple Way to Make Life More Meaningful

For those who can’t stop trying to convince themselves they’re bad with self-destructive actions. This one is for Nikki. 

Why do we destroy relationships with those who love us? Why do break our own trust, betray our own dreams, and rob ourselves of happiness and safety as soon as we get close to it. It’s a mystifying loop of behavior that has powerful effects on everything about our life: a chain reaction that keeps us hiding or running from the ugly truth of what we’ve done. 

Just like an addict, you live with a subconscious awareness that you will inevitably destroy whatever good you might have – and that anxiety is overwhelming and scary. Like a lurking future of pain awaits you just around the corner. Happiness is immediately blocked by the overwhelming sense of dread that it will soon be lost. And so you self-medicate the fear and cling more tightly to what you want so badly. 

When you do inevitably self-sabotage and act out in ways that betray your values and the values of your partner, the experience is laden with fear and the resulting shame is soul-crushing. Like you just woke up inside a nightmare. You have an almost separate self who is doing these things despite you. 

I want you to know there’s a simple reason behind your cycle of behavior that you must CHOOSE to learn. It’s not who you are, it’s a tactic that you learned to cope with unrelated pain and anxiety. There are three parts: the what, the why, the how.

Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB  Thanks!


Ep 74: Self-Sabotage: Why We Betray Ourselves and Destroy Our Relationships

Slime Season 3

Digits

YEAR OF THE THUG

Oh shit. This is bad. I’m not wrong, they’re wrong. Ouch this hurts. I wish this wasn’t this way. Why does everyone hate me? I hate everyone. I am dreading going to this place. I wish I never dated that person. They’re probably talking shit about me.  I should be doing better by my age. I haven’t done anything with my life. No one loves me. I look like shit.

These are the voices of worry, shame, fear, regret, pain of various forms – the loops that play out and push us to solve for x or act according to x.  This is when you can’t find your way out of a situation and instead your life just gets smogged over by the situation: when you know that something is wrong and because of it, you feel terrible inside. Life suddenly loses its highlights.  You ask for advice, you work on plans to overcome it, you wish on it, pray on it, lament it, replay it, try to aggressively work on alleviating it, or you hide from it and numb it. And it thickens. It’s the one thing that really catalyzes a whole lot of other beliefs – and you can’t seem to figure out a workaround.  When an emotion sticks inside us it CONTROLS US and often pushes us to act on its behalf – like a little demon with a joystick inside your brain. 

So if this sounds vaguely familiar, this is an episode for you. There are three parts – the what, the why, and the how  - the tools! Before I go on I wanted to let everyone know about my second podcast called “Love is Like a Plant” with Ellen Huerta of Mend. She’s building an app to get you through a breakup. Check us out – it’s all about relationships and dating. Anyhoo. The what!

If you like what you hear and you want to support this show visit me on Patreon or head to HelpMeBeMe.com and click donate! xox

Ep 77: Something's Wrong: When Worry, Hurt, Stress and Sadness Make You Stuck

This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. 

This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo


Help Me Be Me

A Life Worth Living

Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences

This is a power-up episode for anyone facing change that feels too hard or too painful. Take heart and remind yourself that you will do what you need to do when you're ready and in your own time. xo!
Sarah May B.

A Grounding Talk for Confronting What Feels Impossible

The sound on this one is a bit rough, guys. It was the second take (listen to hear the story of that madness) and the girls forgot to ask Glennon to put in her headphones, Craig is vacuuming in the background, and everyone's voices are a little...excited. What can we say? Perfectly imperfect.

In this episode, they talk about Glennon's new book, Love Warrior, getting angry, sobriety, rock bottoms, faith, depression, and sisterhood.

Glennon Doyle Melton is the New York Times Bestselling author of Carry On, Warrior and most recently, Love Warrior. She's the founder of Momastery and also, Together Rising, a non-profit that grew from Momastery to provide financial support to women in need.

Episode 56: Glennon Doyle Melton

Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out Yaywithme.com for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa

Help Me Be Me • Power-Ups

Gratitude Joy-State Powerup

This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.

Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year

Hi friends, this is a quickie Q&A episode answering three questions: What do you do when an ex keeps trying to come back into your life?! How do you deal with a depressed partner/friend who pushes you away? How to deal with being ghosted and positive ways to overcome it? If you're looking for more please reach out! xo Sarah May B. Here’s the Reco’d Reading I mentioned: 
The Gift of Fear: http://amzn.to/2nMhwcL
The Depression Cure: http://amzn.to/2nPCEQX
Codependent No More: http://amzn.to/2oqPw16
Courage to Change: http://amzn.to/2orhFVw

Audience Q&A's: Obsessed Exs, Depressed Partners and Getting Ghosted

You know the Louis C.K. line, "Everything is amazing and nobody's happy?" This episode is something like that, except more like, "Everything is amazing and nobody's had enough sleep and it's all difficult." In this episode, Holly and Laura do a catch up on work, love, sobriety and home life after a bunch of travel, way too much junk food, and no sleep.

Episode 92: Everything Is Difficult

A practice of getting closer to your original self. Analysis, ambivalence, endless "stuff." Checking, pursuing, not knowing if any of it is right. When will I finally be happy? When I finish this thing? But then there’s that other thing I have to do. Hi friends! This power-up is a set of tools all about trimming out the mental work we create for ourselves and getting closer to your playful, original self. That mental work that seems to go in circles. In favor of something deeper and possibly more rewarding. For more personal play and exploration - here are a few books I enjoyed. xo

Jung on dream analysis
http://amzn.to/2rOrX3U

Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
http://amzn.to/2s7gwSe

Bodhisattva mind
http://amzn.to/2quH3aQ

Brain Clutter: Creating Mental and Spiritual Space for Yourself

When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take.

If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out YayWithMe.com

Ep 98: Resilience for Codependents and Those Experiencing Adult Hardships

A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works!

So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard.  I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. 

For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com 

To donate head to Yaywithme.com/donate

Healing a Possibly Scarring Experience Into a Resilience Booster

In this episode, the girls do a standard catch-up about love, work, home, and sobriety and respond to a listener's claim that they're gross.

Episode 104: Holly and Laura Are Gross

This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. 

Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now.

When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. 

Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way.

For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

My Life Hurts: When A Problem is Really, Really Bad

In this episode, the girls give their top tips for getting started in sobriety. From meditation to sweating to talking to God, they talk about what worked for them and what they've seen work for others in the first days.

Episode 107: How To Begin

This week, the girls talk to Megan Peters (aka @crazybananas). They brought her on to talk about how she balances activism, motherhood, blogging, marriage, and sobriety (and all the other roles she seems to occupy) and while they get into a bit of that, the conversation took them elsewhere. Megan generously and candidly talks about how her marriage shifted when she got sober four and a half years ago: from the early days when she wasn't sure it would withstand the change, to today. It's a conversation about the tricky business of growing in relationships, change, the urgency of self-care in sobriety, and personal responsibility.

Episode 108: Megan Peters

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com