Journaling & Self-Examination

Soothing and Emotional Self-care

Help Me Be Me

It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life.  You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff.  Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions.  Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself.  
Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo.  This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want.  And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is.  

If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming.  So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. 

Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become.  That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com so keep an eye out in the next couple days.

Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!!
This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. 
xo! Sarah May B.


Episode 23: Where to start the process of personal growth

OR Building friendships worth growing for a lifetime.


In this podcast I go over the three essential ingredients to good friendship so that you can train yourself to choose great ones. I also cover nine general rules for being a great friend to yourself and others – as well as ways to find friends that are perfect for you. So if you are looking to make new and better friendships that you can invest in for a lifetime, this is a podcast for you.

This is for Catherine – (thanks girl!) She wrote, “Can you talk about what it means to be a good friend – and ways to practice that.” Catherine - I know your question was more general than the topic above. I chose to take this angle because I think it’s a good way to force yourself to choose better relationships, despite your conditioned-in blinders. 

Just like with anything else – a job, a marriage, or anything really, we bring our old rusty eyeballs into a relationship – and often we can’t tell how we are being blinded by those issues and experiences.  Sometimes they can compromise our ability to choose the right people for the right reasons, or give and to receive the fruits of friendship.  In other words, they get in the way of smart and self-loving decision-making.  So I am going to present this to you in a way that hopefully will allow you to approach friendship from an intentional perspective so that you can build mutually beneficial and powerful friendships that bring value to your life and the others who are out there right now, in need of a friend like you.

If you likee, check out the Teaspoon for more of my writing- as well as my books. And if you prefer to read, this will be posted as a blog later on this week. Smile peeps! xox Sarah May b.

http://www.teaspoonofhappy.com


Episode 27: Nine Tools to Build Successful Friendships

Hi my friends! Today’s podcast is about “badges” – or external factors that somehow take on supreme meaning in your life and dictate your self-worth – to you.  Whether it’s a job, a number on the scale, a trophy or an expensive car – a badge can affect you so deeply that your whole world changes in the blink of an eye, almost like a hallucination.  You might have experienced the results of wearing your badges when you’re either on a personal high or low – and the difference between the two worlds is vast and disorienting, despite how small the factors are when put in perspective. 

For example – let’s say you get an accolade at work: you feel like you’re a star, you’re so powerful and confident, you don’t need anyone! You don’t even need to call people back! You are that worth knowing, and everyone loves you.  Maybe you more freely spend money because you’re going places! You look better in the mirror, you feel young, successful, sexy… “Man I impress everyone!” 

The flip side of that coin is pretty dark: when you feel you have failed at something or lack something meaningful. For example, maybe you met someone you liked and texted them, but never got a text back. Suddenly the same you will feel ugly, fat, clumsy, talentless, incapable, and perceive that everyone around you sees you as an imbecile.  Suddenly this hallucination changes your interpretation of everything anyone says to you:  you question whether or not your friends like you, whether or not you are smart, and even how you see your reflection.  From this state of mind, you see your acne as horrendous! “How does anyone like me, at all?”  

And all of this happens in a split second: with one tiny bit of information, your view of yourself and your life - changes. That’s how powerful these external badges can be, and that is not how they should be.  Because that is very unfair to you, to be owned by something so dumb – and it’s making you miss out on the real goods you might experience – you’re focusing on the wrong thing if you want to really understand and appreciate who you are.  Which is great, and a gift of a person to know. 

So if you’re in a place where you feel bad about yourself based on an external definition – so much so that it has taken control of the opinion you hold about yourself– this is a podcast for you.  Perhaps even listen to it twice, because if this is happening to you – this can be untrained just like any other bad habit.  And you deserve for it to stop – cause you’re awesome!

For the blog version, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week, and as always, smile peeps!! xox Sarah-May B. 


Episode 36: The Badges That Define You and Dictate Your Self-Worth

This is a short-ish mindfulness meditation for you to do while sitting just about anywhere. It's a manual-brain-shut-down button for anyone who has incessant, non-stop thoughts that never seem to quiet down. That's a sign that there has been some imbalance created in you brain based on your lifestyle. To remedy it, I recco starting a daily meditation practice. This is one of those meditations (if you like it, that is.) 

To listen to it, find somewhere you can be alone and uninterrupted for at least half an hour - somewhere you are comfortable. It's under 15 minutes and should be completed in one sitting.  If you like it, let me know and I'll make more! 

For more of my writing you can head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com
Smile lovely friends! xox


Brain Chatter Relief: A Daily Quieting Meditation

Hi peeps! This is an episode with a short meditation in part 3. It covers why soothing your body and reducing the chatter in your brain is the key to your ultimate happiness.

As a society we tend to get hyper focused. We get into the groove of our job or our relationships – and we get stressed by how many things there are to worry about. Am I doing well as a person? Am I successful?” When will I get to the right level? How can I be more of what I want to be? Suddenly we’re looking straight down at our feet and trying to take bigger steps instead of keeping our eyes to the beautiful sunrise on the horizon.

This is almost like an introduction to my podcast in that it is truly the KEY to every positive change you want to make in your life. It is also the key to happiness and also the key to finding your life’s purpose. 

What is it? Ready? Listen intently. 

Consciousness: Feeling the feelings that are going through your body as they come. Being fully connected to that awareness and not “occupied” be a roaring sea of thoughts or rapid firing fears and analysis.  Sometimes it’s like facing a roaring lion because some terrible awful stuff lives inside us in many moments of our life.  Feeling hopeless, or worthless or afraid of what if’s to come. And yet, we must allow ourselves to feel those things - it's the key to building your ultimate life.

This is an episode with three parts. The general what, why, and then as a tool, I end with a meditation. 

Check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com later this week for the blog version of this post and I hope you enjoy this! Smile lovelies! xox
Sarah-May



Episode 58: The Importance of Being Present

Hi friends, this is an emotional cleansing power up episode for clearing sorrow and stress and emotional muck. 

It's best to listen to it while you take a short walk outside. It’s a visualization meditation of sorts, one you can do with your eyes open.  If you can’t do this while walking, I recco you do this while in a yoga inversion of some sort. It focuses on calming your nervous system with breathing exercises, and its one I do myself - quite often. I hope you like! xox Sarah May B.


Emotional Heaviness: Releasing Sorrow, Stress and Emotional Muck

This is a different kind of power-up episode to inspire a positive state of life. It’s a simple one that I offer you as you begin your weekend. And yes, it’s called “A teaspoon of happy” – just like my blog title! What does that mean? It’s super cutesy and girly, yes. It sounds good on a site like Hello Giggles, yes. But it’s actually my methodology – my approach to happiness. Because I think of it as a recipe. One I would like to offer you. I hope you enjoy! xox


A Teaspoon of Happy

We all want to be nice and caring people – because it feels good. It rewards us. However we are human and sometimes it can be a challenge to stay in that mindset, especially if people are deliberately cruel and hateful.  Anger and hate become a natural reaction – or to simply shutdown and ignore.  For the same is true of fearing those who hate: when you don’t understand someone and their beliefs betray everything you hold sacred, it’s a feeling that can touch every nerve inside you and incite the same thing – inside you. A hate and intolerance for their beliefs.  

It’s tough to be willing to understand others, especially when they express hate, brutality or intolerance. Like looking into the face of someone filled to the brim with fire and toxic sludge, spitting at you – it can offend every sense you have to witness such a thing. And worse, it can infect you and bring you down. There are lots of toxic people out there, and the natural reaction is to stay as far away from them as possible. But when it comes to people you love, you work with, or you can’t shut out of your life – this is a set of tools to help you understand them and better relate to them.  In the face of intolerance, the self-protective instinct is to run away – to shut down to them and soothe the hurt, lest this hurt you anymore. But this is only a temporary fix to manage the situation. There is a state you can graduate to – PAST this point of managing and shutting off – one comparable to enlightenment: compassion. It’s challenging but also freeing, and it can be a powerful solution when it comes to someone you care about or must deal with in your life – for example a loved one or family member. I hope you enjoy! xo 
For more of my writing head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com 


Ep 66: How to Use Compassion to Rise Above the Hate & Intolerance of Others

This is a power-up episode all about how to be more present in your everyday life – specifically when it comes to your human interactions.  This is something I decided to record after reading (listening to) “When Breath Becomes Air” and this episode of All in the Mind – the guest is this amazing woman called Christine Bryden who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in her 40s. She’s amazing and so is this interview. Her latest book is called “Before I Forget.” Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy – it’s very much my train of thought, so be forgiving…
Xox
Sarah May B.

When Breath Becomes Air:
http://amzn.to/1LmSgmo

All in the Mind:
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/2015-12-13/7012970

Before I Forget:
http://amzn.to/1LmShHc

If you're looking for more content, subscribe to "Love is Like a Plant" by new podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com – it’s all about love and break-ups:
https://soundcloud.com/loveislikeaplant


How to Be There: A Simple Way to Make Life More Meaningful

It’s really hard to stop yourself from helping someone out, doing it for them, giving your time and energy, saying what you said you wouldn’t do again, or diving in head first to a partner – especially when chemicals take over. Because that’s who you are! A giving and loving person! It can feel almost like a commitment to being true to yourself, because when you have all the understanding of someone’s voids – you feel compassion. And even if you didn’t want to try to make them happy or fix something, you feel obligated – mostly by yourself you’re your own inner voice. It’s also because you like them so much and you want to make them happy. 

To fight against this habit will feel wrong, unnatural. And super uncomfortable – and it makes others so happy. It’s a confusing dilemma – to NOT follow your instincts will make you might feel like you’re not being yourself. You want to be loving and give your best for someone you love. It’s a catch-22. And so the flip side of this is you end up doing it all: you’re the saver who comes to the rescue and others will continue to disappoint you on a loop. Like you’re surrounded by children. You end up feeling resentful toward others for not giving you the love and care and THANKS you deserve, but you can’t stop yourself from being there for them and helping them live better lives. It feels good to be helpful.

This end result leaves you and whoever else you are stuck to in life, fighting or empty – battling for love and care and attention. And you’re not asking so much at all – just for a tiny bit of love and support at SOME time in life. Or just for them to not be so destructive. 

This one’s for Ty – great topic! Thank you!

If this helps you in any way, consider making a monthly donation at HelpMeBeMe.com thanks! 


Ep 78: Codependency: I Need to Find Someone Who Will Make Me Whole

This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. 

This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo


A Life Worth Living

Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences

This is a power-up episode for anyone facing change that feels too hard or too painful. Take heart and remind yourself that you will do what you need to do when you're ready and in your own time. xo!
Sarah May B.

A Grounding Talk for Confronting What Feels Impossible

Hi peeps! This is a mid-dance-party mini power-up episode and my invitation to you to please join me. Because you need to get out of "normal" and just be human once in a while. xo Hope you likee!

Check out Yaywithme.com for all my latest blog and podcast content, and subscribe for updates on The Break-Up Album! 

Help Me Be Me • Power-Ups

Be Alive!

Be Alive! Enjoy Being Simply - Yourself

Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out Yaywithme.com for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa

Gratitude Joy-State Powerup

This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.

Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year

A practice of getting closer to your original self. Analysis, ambivalence, endless "stuff." Checking, pursuing, not knowing if any of it is right. When will I finally be happy? When I finish this thing? But then there’s that other thing I have to do. Hi friends! This power-up is a set of tools all about trimming out the mental work we create for ourselves and getting closer to your playful, original self. That mental work that seems to go in circles. In favor of something deeper and possibly more rewarding. For more personal play and exploration - here are a few books I enjoyed. xo

Jung on dream analysis
http://amzn.to/2rOrX3U

Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
http://amzn.to/2s7gwSe

Bodhisattva mind
http://amzn.to/2quH3aQ

Brain Clutter: Creating Mental and Spiritual Space for Yourself

When we don’t feel safe, we tend to panic. Especially if you lack the innate knowledge that you will be okay. So when external events happen that take our sense of safety away – it can lead you into a state of intense suffering that then deepens into a state of hopelessness. This is when external hardship is really damaging. However – you can foster an innate sense of resilience – by practicing steps and thoughts despite yourself. So if you are in that state, of if you want to preempt it – here are some steps for you to take.

If you want to read more of my writing, to make a donation, and for more helpful resources, check out YayWithMe.com

Ep 98: Resilience for Codependents and Those Experiencing Adult Hardships

A shorthand version of changing a trauma or hurt from a scar into a medal. I’ve covered this in other episodes but I thought it would be helpful in this format - it's condensed for in-the-moment application. I used these steps myself recently and it works!

So this is if anyone has had something really traumatic happen to them that hurts them and you can tell it’s one of those sore spots that makes you cry really hard.  I want you to practice these steps around that experience as soon as it has happened. It will likely have to do with your powerlessness in the face of something excruciating – and your inability to change that. 

For more of my work including the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com 

To donate head to Yaywithme.com/donate

Healing a Possibly Scarring Experience Into a Resilience Booster

This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. 

Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now.

When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. 

Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way.

For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B.

My Life Hurts: When A Problem is Really, Really Bad

Hi peeps! This is a “Digital Diet Challenge” all about creating mental space for yourself and checking any harmful habits you might have around smartphones and social media. I challenge everyone to take a stab at this. I want to preface this by saying this isn’t about removing smartphones and social media – it’s just about becoming aware of how you are feeling in reaction to it. I hope this helps! For more of my writing and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
The study I mentioned is here:
http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2167702617723376
A podcast about this topic is here:
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/the-kids-of-today/9637570

Curbing Smartphone Addiction & FOMO

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com