help me be me

When You Can’t Own Your Successes. This is an episode about Imposter Phenomenon and what to do if you cannot own the successes you have in your life. If you’re not sure if you have this, I will ask you – is there an eternal disconnect between what others see in you and what you see in yourself?

There are two very common underlying traits to Imposter Phenomenon- perfectionism and neuroticism. Which means you are overly perfectionistic and also overthink and put immense pressure on yourself, and set unreasonably high setpoints for yourself.

This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Help Me Be Me

Ep 141: Imposter Phenomenon - Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve the Good in Your Life

You can do a lot of great work on yourself with a journal. If you want to try and work through a problem, or you want to start a journal but don’t know what to write about, this is an episode for you. It can also be really confusing as to what to talk about. Especially if nothing flows. 

The journal I use is this one:
https://amzn.to/3tV5Vc5

And to apply for the free chat session you can head here:
https://www.yaywithme.com/shop/apply-for-a-free-recorded-chat-session

This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Ep 142: Self-Dialoguing - How to Do Self-Work in a Journal

Watch the music video here!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhcnD1DGOz0 

Buy "Rain Boots" on CdBaby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trumpetgrrrl2  
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-boots-single/id744814977

Recorded and mixed by GRAMMY award winning producer Scott Jacoby
Mastered by Emily Lazar and asst Rich Morales

Photo by Larkin Goff

First single for my next  EP "Just Listen" to be released in 2014.  


Rain Boots

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.”  If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you.  For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear.  Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” 

It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy.  And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy.  It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. 

If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. 
For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! 
http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0

And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.


Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt.  I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. 

If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe!  I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B. 


Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow.  You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough.  What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. 

Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying.  And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone.  A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment.  

You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality.  So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments.  

Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset.  There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. 

This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.

Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self

"Tiger By The Tail (v1)"  - (Indie - Upbeat - Drums - Happy)

Follow Super Duper:

Spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/5zFMLXUnqxwdgTpLCX9LDj
Soundcloud: www.soundcloud.com/super-duper-music
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This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also 
an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story. So if you are telling yourself the wrong one, or you want to tune up the habits you have around negative narratives about yourself, this is an episode for you. 

As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, why and how the tools. 

This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 24 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Ep 132: Not Good Enough: Obsessing About Our Faults + What to Do About It

Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope!

This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe

Grieving the loss of time

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com

Ep 141: Imposter Phenomenon - Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve the Good in Your Life

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