I've been with a narcissist but I can't seem to escape them they are everywhere I go they live right across the street from me we are technically best friend's or she goes to the same school as me I don't know what to do. but this is definitely help

Extremely helpful and  spot on. Thank you. 

Thank You!!!!  8years of being tortured was so hard still i am effected.  

Thank you i been with a narc for 8 years i been trying to get him to see it. I understand his childhood relationship with his  father. I feel sorry for him. He wont change or try to change or work thru anything. 

help me be me

Watch the music video here!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhcnD1DGOz0 

Buy "Rain Boots" on CdBaby here: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/trumpetgrrrl2  
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rain-boots-single/id744814977

Recorded and mixed by GRAMMY award winning producer Scott Jacoby
Mastered by Emily Lazar and asst Rich Morales

Photo by Larkin Goff

First single for my next  EP "Just Listen" to be released in 2014.  


Rain Boots

Sometimes breaking through the pain of negativity takes an extra “jolt.”  If you are on a path to becoming your best self, you might encounter – at random – moments in your life, or days or weeks even, that you lose touch with the brightness and joy that lives inside you.  For whatever reason, you might become trapped in a mood or be overcome once again by your conditions. And often this dark cloud will feed itself – it will become more “true,” more weighty and real, and with your inability to find the salve, the more blind to the falsity of this mood, you become. This is when, once again, we are secretly removed of our power – by fear.  Fear that “we will always be this way” and “how did I believe I could let this part of who I am go” and “the hope I felt was false after all.” 

It is during these moments that “extra-strength” meds come in handy.  And by meds, I mean a profound “jolt” from outside of us: the affects of someone with a lightning bolt of truth that can reach you through that cloud – that lie that is your chemical fear – and “jolt” you out of that physical mood/moment and back into your awareness of joy.  It’s like a hard-restart when the programs won’t stop running. 

If you have been stuck in a chronic dark-cloud of energy, this is a podcast power-up for you. 
For more of my writing and my toolkit book, check out Teaspoon of Happy! 
http://bit.ly/1vyjzl0

And if you like, please post a Testimonial on Teaspoon or review me on iTunes! Xox Sarah May B.


Extra-Strength Lightening Bolt: For Prolonged Bad Moods and a Jolt Out of Negativity

If you’re scared to go home this holiday because you’re worried that you’re going to have painful, triggering-situations with your family, this is a collection of tools for moving through the holiday with balance and grace. So whether or not you decide to skip it this year or move through the experience for the good of the future-you, it always helps to prepare yourself beforehand and have a couple tools ready in your emotional belt.  I will cover a few general categories of painful family dynamics – so depending on your level of pain, choose the one that helps give you the healthiest amount of mental distance and support. 

If you want to read more, keep your eyes peeled for the blog version of this podcast on TeaspoonOfHappy.com or Hello Giggles. Also, I will be adding a supportive happiness challenge to my newsletter for the holiday season so if you are in need of some extra positivity support, head to TeaspoonOfHappy.com and subscribe!  I send you my love peeps - xox Sarah May B. 


Episode 26: Going Back Home for the Holiday - Tools for Managing Hurtful Family Dynamics

Jealousy, or a perception of your insecurities come to life. How does it sneak into your mind? Your darkest thoughts in your most fearful voice begin scratching at your feelings, dragging you down and causing you to act as your lowest self. You assume you are less than and life is against you somehow.  You're either not enough, or something else outside of you is not enough.  What is this emotional state? Your lowest form of self, the self that is motivated by fear and hate, put in a threatened defensive position. Think of it as You minus your awareness of what is good and loving in this world. This low emotional self is also called your irrational self. 

Most of jealousy acts as a hallucination. It does not show you reality it shows you insecure self-loathing reality: in that world, no one likes you and all the fears you have about yourself are true. For many of us it is clear that we are in an emotionally charged, irrational state – however, we cannot stop ourselves from wanting to “solve” for the perceived insult. “Is it true?! If so, how true? I need to know!” Nothing will quench the irrational need to compute “why” we have been betrayed: we go into loops of solving, calculating, tallying, replaying.  And jealousy has a very potent ability to madden us for that reason: it’s all consuming, it belittles us, and we are aware it’s inside of us and us alone.  A self-inflicted pain with the power to torture and haunt our every moment.  

You will never arrive at your truth through jealousy - you can only do that from a calm, objective vantage point - so this is all about stepping back from the emotion so you can regain your sound thinking. The power behind jealousy is also the key to undoing it: it does not live in reality – it lives in our reaction to reality.  So we can indeed help ourselves when we struggle in the triggered moments.  

Hopefully, I will offer you a few tools to help you navigate out of it and back to your true and highest self: grounded, making decisions from a balanced and sane mindset.  There are three parts: The what. They why. The how: the tools. 

This one is for Fran - thanks for writing me and I hope you likee! xox Sarah May B.

Episode 55: Jealousy – How to Rise Above Your Weakest Self

"Tiger By The Tail (v1)"  - (Indie - Upbeat - Drums - Happy)

Why sometimes people aren’t honest with us and sometimes we’re not honest with ourselves. 

This one’s written for a person who contacted me who’s newly single and dating quite a bit. He has a few different partners and has had a lot of difficulty saying he is doing so because it goes against everything he wants. This is all about how the simple act of being honest can change your life in awesome earth-shattering ways.

I talk about honesty and dishonesty and how it comes into play in our relationships. So if you’re the type of person who dates and doesn’t tell the other person where you’re really at – or if you’re super jealous and suspicious about your partner and it drives you mad, or if you’re a regular person dealing with regular relationship power-plays— this is for you! 

Help Me Be Me is advertising free and takes hundreds of hours to create. If you enjoy my work or it improves your life, consider a monthly donation: even something as small as a cup of coffee makes a big difference. Head to HelpMeBeMe.com/donate or visit Patreon.com/SarahMayB 

Thanks! xox

Looking for more? Check out my other podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com Check us out on Soundcloud and iTunes – our show is all about love and heartbreak, called Love Is Like a Plant. Yay!


Ep 73: Love & Honesty: What We Hide and Why

This is a power-up episode all about how to be more present in your everyday life – specifically when it comes to your human interactions.  This is something I decided to record after reading (listening to) “When Breath Becomes Air” and this episode of All in the Mind – the guest is this amazing woman called Christine Bryden who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in her 40s. She’s amazing and so is this interview. Her latest book is called “Before I Forget.” Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy – it’s very much my train of thought, so be forgiving…
Xox
Sarah May B.

When Breath Becomes Air:
http://amzn.to/1LmSgmo

All in the Mind:
http://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/2015-12-13/7012970

Before I Forget:
http://amzn.to/1LmShHc

If you're looking for more content, subscribe to "Love is Like a Plant" by new podcast with cohost Ellen Huerta of LetsMend.com – it’s all about love and break-ups:
https://soundcloud.com/loveislikeaplant


How to Be There: A Simple Way to Make Life More Meaningful

How good relationships turn into bad relationships, seemingly out of nowhere. Whether that’s with fights that ensue endlessly, or one partner suddenly betrays the other partner – this kind of behavior can make you feel mystified, angry, and stuck. So I want to shed a bit of light on a potential reason behind these changes – if you once had a healthy and mutually rewarding relationship, this might give you a starting place for the work that has to be done. OR at the very least enlighten you as to what happened. My other name for this episode is Family Ties. You’ll know why if you listen to this. Does any of this sound familiar?
“I thought I married someone who loved me and they seem like they hate me now.” “This behavior came out of nowhere – one day she told me she didn’t love me anymore.” “I can’t believe this happened – I want to ask her, was it worth it?” These are the kinds of things I hear often from my One-On-One clients, especially when it comes to break-ups. It’s a very common experience to suddenly see your partner change into someone you don’t know, you didn’t think they’d be. 

It can make you feel stupid like you should have known better. It can make you feel assaulted – like you just got a hard slap for no reason whatsoever. It can make you feel you can’t tell up from down and the world is not what you thought it was. There’s a reason why this is happening, just like there’s a solution – if you want one. Before I get started I want to tell you that this is much more abbreviated than it should be, because this is such an intricate and amazing topic. If you’re interested in learning more about it I will post a link to my reading material on my website in the blog version. It’s worth a read – called Intimate Partners by Maggie Scarf. A blow your mind amazing book. 

There are three parts: the what why and how – the tools.

Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB  Thanks!

If you like what you hear, check out my other podcast called Love is like a plant with Ellen Huerta of Mend! xo


Ep 75: WTF Happened? When Great Relationships Suddenly Turn Bad

This is also known as gas-lighting – based on a Hitchcock film where Ingrid Bergman was made to feel crazy by her husband. 

What I am going to talk about is what to do and how to recognize when someone is intentionally keeping you feel off-balance or pushing your buttons to make you into the bad guy. It’s a control tactic, and it’s extremely cruel – not to mention, when done overtime it can make you believe you can’t trust your own instincts. You will start to lose a connection to your own gut instincts because someone is making you believe that they might be wrong, consistently over time. It can stall you from actually reaching the solution to an issue, and even blind you to real and dangerous truths happening right in front of you – on a greater and greater scale. Because over a long period of time – no matter how rational and confident you start out, eventually you catch “the sickness” of the manipulative behavior. Long story short – it’s DANGEROUS and NOT COOL and you shouldn’t be tolerating it or be around it – at all. This is an episode to give you a starting point for helping yourself out of this situation. 

Three parts – what why and how, the tools. 

Apologies for the background sounds - I recorded this after work in the car so there are helicopters around me!


Ep 76: Dirty Tactics: When Someone Uses Manipulation to Make You Feel Crazy

I did this myself and it worked for my so I wanted to offer it to you! This is a little refocusing exercise to help you let go of anger and resent - especially if you're fixating on something that bugs you. Whether it's a friend, a partner, a boss - you can train yourself to remember your kind and loving state. It comes down to a simple  re-focusing practice when you need it most. 

xox Sarah May B.

Anger Fixation Relief: A gratitude reflection exercise

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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com

Ep 76: Dirty Tactics: When Someone Uses Manipulation to Make You Feel Crazy

Help Me Be Me

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