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Mind

Burning Brain

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Journaling & Self-Examination

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Written and performed by: Jhene' Aiko
Produced by: The Fisticuffs

Souled Out in stores this fall!

Souled Out

The Pressure

Popular rant-vlogger, Kingsley, sits down with Rhett & Link this week to talk about his experience as one of the only openly gay black men at the top of the YouTube charts, how he got his first big break thanks to popular TV show "Tosh.0," why he chooses to use profanity in his videos but not in front of his parents, and if he really is "quitting YouTube" at the close of 2014. 

*NOTE: This conversation contains adult themes and language.

Ep. 41 Kingsley- Ear Biscuits

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Sam Smith - 'Stay With Me' (Prince Fox Remix)

Letting go of someone or something you love can be a terrifying proposition.  This episode offers a small beacon of hope if you are confronting a painful loss. 

Episode 5: Letting Go

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you have in the world.  This episode features a recipe for creating more self-love and confidence so that you can live a happier and more fulfilling life.  There are ten different tools, a few of which are from the "Help Me Be Me" book.  Invest in your relationship with yourself and you will better the lives of everyone you touch. 

Episode 7: Self-Love from Scratch

It’s pretty easy to “never deal” with anything heavy, or anything that makes you feel vulnerable in life.  You can always find a way to distract yourself, or hide from the tough stuff.  Maybe you’ve been coasting through your emotional adult life and perhaps medicating any and all issues and scary feelings that might come up – or numbing them with drinks, tv, or constant distractions.  Maybe you’ve never allowed yourself to become vulnerable to another person – you’ve kept it very superficial, and you just kind of “pass the time” in your life – but never venture past the top layer. It all feels fine until one day you suddenly “wake-up” and realize you don’t know who you are, what you want, or even whether or not you like yourself.  
Maybe something in your life comes to a head, like you finally meet someone you want to be in love with and that makes you totally clingy because you feel so reliant on their liking you, or maybe you’ve been through a break-up and you suddenly realize you feel shattered – like you have nothing, to you, solo.  This window of clarity might force you to realize you’ve got some work to do on yourself so that you can actually figure out who you are and what you want.  And with that work, grow to like that person, and be happy with who that is.  

If you’re staring at the vast ravine of what you don’t know quite yet – and realizing you’ve been asleep at the wheel of your life for years, I know looking at the amount of work you have to do can feel totally overwhelming.  So if this sounds like where you are right now– this is a podcast for you. 

Firstly, know that you have been gifted with an amazing opportunity. Right now you get to choose who you want to be. Which is really awesome and shows that you have what it takes – already – to become who you want to become.  That you even have this awareness about yourself is the key to the change itself. So what I am going to give you are some steps/tools to help you move through this time efficiently. There are 10 of them and if you want to read them, I will also post the blog version on TeaspoonOfHappy.com so keep an eye out in the next couple days.

Ready? Here we go! This is a blessing in disguise and you're about to enter the best time of your life!!!
This is for you, Justin. Thanks dude for suggesting this to help others!! I hope this helps you, as well. 
xo! Sarah May B.


Episode 23: Where to start the process of personal growth

Has it ever happened to you – that you do something nice for someone else and they don’t respond and so part of you is worried they didn’t like it, but then you start to get mad, because you are thinking – they should have appreciated that gesture! And how could they?! So uncaring. Wow – they are really a jerk, after all.  Or, maybe there’s someone in your workplace who gave you a dirty look – and you can’t figure out why, did they hear something? Do they really just dislike you? And if so, why? You didn’t do anything to them. Maybe you try to be nice and they don’t acknowledge you at all and now you just feel uncomfortable. The tension makes you feel nervous and distracted because you are nice! AND didn’t do anything wrong!  If this sounds like you and you do everything in your power to talk yourself out of it, but still can’t seem to soothe the obsessive thoughts of everything from worry to hate to insecurity and self-doubt, then this is a podcast for you! It’s got some information about why this happens plus some methods to soothe the obsession. And most importantly, how to curb your need for validation from other people when it’s hurting you to do so. 

For more of my writing, check out TeaspoonOfHappy.com

Smile lovely friends!!! And if you like this, please show me some love! It helps me a lot a lot! xox Sarah May B. 

(This one's for you - Ambika! Hope it helps xox)



Episode 41: What Do They Think: How to Stop Obsessing About Other People’s Thoughts

Gunna Dee - nuttin new

I recorded this song 2 years ago. It's produced by D-Pro Also known as Delerious.. First Garage/House song i've ever done. Hope you like it.

Paigey Cakey - You Let Me (Prod By D-Pro)

This is a different kind of power-up episode to inspire a positive state of life. It’s a simple one that I offer you as you begin your weekend. And yes, it’s called “A teaspoon of happy” – just like my blog title! What does that mean? It’s super cutesy and girly, yes. It sounds good on a site like Hello Giggles, yes. But it’s actually my methodology – my approach to happiness. Because I think of it as a recipe. One I would like to offer you. I hope you enjoy! xox


A Teaspoon of Happy

I know the holidays are just a few days away– which can bring up a ton of uncomfortable feelings especially if you have not-so-loving-family members. This is for anyone who has family, or anyone in their life who is meant to be nice to them and instead has chosen to close off and be mean. This could be your significant other’s family or your own family, like for example – your parent married into a new family and you feel excluded by them. 

So this is for anyone who has a significant other with a family who doesn’t accept or acknowledge you. Or maybe they constantly divide you and your spouse. Maybe this isn’t your significant other – maybe it’s a friend or your family – like if a parent remarried, or your family has dysfunctional ways of relating to you. 

This is for a friend who wrote to me – hang in there. I know this ain’t easy and it takes the strongest person to manage it.

If you are helped by this podcast and find value in it, consider making a monthly donation - even an amount as small as a cup of coffee. Visit HelpMeBeMe.com or find my page on Patreon. xo!

Ep 69: How to deal with family who are unwelcoming and mean

For those who can’t stop trying to convince themselves they’re bad with self-destructive actions. This one is for Nikki. 

Why do we destroy relationships with those who love us? Why do break our own trust, betray our own dreams, and rob ourselves of happiness and safety as soon as we get close to it. It’s a mystifying loop of behavior that has powerful effects on everything about our life: a chain reaction that keeps us hiding or running from the ugly truth of what we’ve done. 

Just like an addict, you live with a subconscious awareness that you will inevitably destroy whatever good you might have – and that anxiety is overwhelming and scary. Like a lurking future of pain awaits you just around the corner. Happiness is immediately blocked by the overwhelming sense of dread that it will soon be lost. And so you self-medicate the fear and cling more tightly to what you want so badly. 

When you do inevitably self-sabotage and act out in ways that betray your values and the values of your partner, the experience is laden with fear and the resulting shame is soul-crushing. Like you just woke up inside a nightmare. You have an almost separate self who is doing these things despite you. 

I want you to know there’s a simple reason behind your cycle of behavior that you must CHOOSE to learn. It’s not who you are, it’s a tactic that you learned to cope with unrelated pain and anxiety. There are three parts: the what, the why, the how.

Help Me Be Me takes hundreds of hours to create. If you get anything out of this show or it brings value to your life, please consider a monthly donation – even something as small as a cup of coffee helps immensely. To donate visit HelpMeBeMe.com or Patreon.com/SarahMayB  Thanks!


Ep 74: Self-Sabotage: Why We Betray Ourselves and Destroy Our Relationships

Oh shit. This is bad. I’m not wrong, they’re wrong. Ouch this hurts. I wish this wasn’t this way. Why does everyone hate me? I hate everyone. I am dreading going to this place. I wish I never dated that person. They’re probably talking shit about me.  I should be doing better by my age. I haven’t done anything with my life. No one loves me. I look like shit.

These are the voices of worry, shame, fear, regret, pain of various forms – the loops that play out and push us to solve for x or act according to x.  This is when you can’t find your way out of a situation and instead your life just gets smogged over by the situation: when you know that something is wrong and because of it, you feel terrible inside. Life suddenly loses its highlights.  You ask for advice, you work on plans to overcome it, you wish on it, pray on it, lament it, replay it, try to aggressively work on alleviating it, or you hide from it and numb it. And it thickens. It’s the one thing that really catalyzes a whole lot of other beliefs – and you can’t seem to figure out a workaround.  When an emotion sticks inside us it CONTROLS US and often pushes us to act on its behalf – like a little demon with a joystick inside your brain. 

So if this sounds vaguely familiar, this is an episode for you. There are three parts – the what, the why, and the how  - the tools! Before I go on I wanted to let everyone know about my second podcast called “Love is Like a Plant” with Ellen Huerta of Mend. She’s building an app to get you through a breakup. Check us out – it’s all about relationships and dating. Anyhoo. The what!

If you like what you hear and you want to support this show visit me on Patreon or head to HelpMeBeMe.com and click donate! xox

Ep 77: Something's Wrong: When Worry, Hurt, Stress and Sadness Make You Stuck

It’s really hard to stop yourself from helping someone out, doing it for them, giving your time and energy, saying what you said you wouldn’t do again, or diving in head first to a partner – especially when chemicals take over. Because that’s who you are! A giving and loving person! It can feel almost like a commitment to being true to yourself, because when you have all the understanding of someone’s voids – you feel compassion. And even if you didn’t want to try to make them happy or fix something, you feel obligated – mostly by yourself you’re your own inner voice. It’s also because you like them so much and you want to make them happy. 

To fight against this habit will feel wrong, unnatural. And super uncomfortable – and it makes others so happy. It’s a confusing dilemma – to NOT follow your instincts will make you might feel like you’re not being yourself. You want to be loving and give your best for someone you love. It’s a catch-22. And so the flip side of this is you end up doing it all: you’re the saver who comes to the rescue and others will continue to disappoint you on a loop. Like you’re surrounded by children. You end up feeling resentful toward others for not giving you the love and care and THANKS you deserve, but you can’t stop yourself from being there for them and helping them live better lives. It feels good to be helpful.

This end result leaves you and whoever else you are stuck to in life, fighting or empty – battling for love and care and attention. And you’re not asking so much at all – just for a tiny bit of love and support at SOME time in life. Or just for them to not be so destructive. 

This one’s for Ty – great topic! Thank you!

If this helps you in any way, consider making a monthly donation at HelpMeBeMe.com thanks! 


Ep 78: Codependency: I Need to Find Someone Who Will Make Me Whole

This is all about how to get the most out of your capacity and your life experiences as well as how to navigate the painful stuff. I want to talk about the growing of self, as it relates to culture and society – and how it has changed. Plus ways that you can begin to maximize your growth as a human. So this is all about you – and the way you grow yourself in this lifetime. Like a self-reflective path-tuning educational episode. 

This one’s dedicated to Rich and Aldana. Hope you like!! xo


Help Me Be Me

A Life Worth Living

Ep 79: In Living Color: Self-Examination Exercises to Get More Out of Experiences

Hi peeps, this is a cheat of an episode in that it’s about how to get closest to getting your ex back via supporting yourself. There are no cheats that will make your ex spontaneously love you if things fell apart, so think of this as a best-practices-for-best-conditions kind of thing.  

That feeling of pain and longing and even obsession over the loss of your relationship. Maybe it wasn’t something you were expecting, or you both kind of “decided” it was right but now you’re realizing it’s not at all what you wanted and you can’t stop thinking about getting back together. Maybe you’re internet stalking your ex, maybe you’re just super depressed and texting them when you get drunk. Or maybe you’re actively trying to convince them you should get back together – as respectfully as you possibly can, and you can’t for the life of you, figure out how to do this right. So this is for anyone who is trying to get their ex back or is holding their head up high and not admitting they want that, but still wishing they were magically back together– either because you broke their heart and you know now you screwed up, or because you were dumped and you were not ready or willing to have this outcome. If this is where you are – you’re likely in a split personality state that can be sometimes a belligerent puking of tears, sometimes a banal but painful loneliness, sometimes annoyingly obsessed, sometimes scary-obsessed, or sometimes feeling like complete and utter worthless shit – and ONLY your ex can make you feel stable and “yourself” again. 

If you are helped by this podcast, consider a small donation. Visit https://www.yaywithme.com/support-help-me-be-me or visit www.Patreon.com/sarahmayb

Ep 80: I Want My Ex Back - Best Practices Toward Loving Outcomes

Get into the positive, grateful state where you are the most rational. This is to get you smiling and blow your mind a little bit. Share it with someone you love! Enjoy and check out Yaywithme.com for more smiles xox Sarah May B. mwa mwa mwa

Help Me Be Me • Power-Ups

Gratitude Joy-State Powerup

Bill rambles about user friendly slacks, silver bells and Patrick Swayze.

Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast

TAMMP 12-22-16

This is something to do with a warm blanket and your journal, kinda like a date with yourself. Have your journal handy if you can – and your iphone calendar or a regular calendar, and take a listen. Feel free to pause as you go. This is what I’ll be doing as I go through my year. Happy holidays lovely friends! Celebrate as much as you can. xo Sarah May B.

Holiday Reflection Exercise: glance back on your year

Doug once again welcomes the artists behind "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," stars Kieran Culkin and Anna Kendrick, and director/producer/co-writer Edgar Wright. 

Doug Loves Movies - Edgar Wright, Kieran Culkin, and Anna Kendrick guest

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com