Hey lady, this week, Dr. Dom and Terri delve into a topic that affects a third of Black women in the United States – divorce. While the process of divorce can often be painful, tedious, and costly it does not always mean that getting divorced is a bad thing. In fact, it can be one of the most liberating, self-actualizing events to occur in a woman’s life.

Terri offers her perspective as a recent divorcee and offers actionable tips to help you think through what life can be like post nuptials. And, Dr. Dom offers her perspective as a licensed clinical psychologist who works closely with women to process their lives pre- and post-divorce so that they can write beautiful new chapters in their full life stories.

Together, they provide a framework where women facing divorce, recovering from divorce, or embarking on new horizons as a whole, single woman can all walk forward with their head’s high and excited about their lives.

Tune in for a grounded conversation about the highs and the lows of divorce and give yourself grace for wherever you are on the path.

Quote of the Day: 
“Divorce is not a failure: Redefine failure and success for yourself and what you truly believe about life. Not what society tells us. There are many married people who are quietly miserable; is this success?” 
– Carol Madden 

Goal Mapping Starter Guide
Cultivating H.E.R. Space Sanctuary

Resources:
Dr. Dom’s Therapy Practice
Branding with Terri
Melanin and Mental Health
Therapy for Black Girls 
Psychology Today
Therapy for QPOC

Where to find us:
Twitter: @HERspacepodcast
Instagram: @herspacepodcast
Facebook: @herspacepodcast
Website: cultivatingherspace.com


S28E4: Life After Divorce: Rediscovering Yourself & Finding Independence

Summary of episode: In today’s episode Terri and Dom discuss time management and procrastination. They ask some tough questions like, “How do we allocate our time? Do we know the difference between urgent and important or reactive vs. proactive?” Dom shared with us how she managed her time when she was working a 9-5 and trying to complete her dissertation to graduate on time. Terri gives us a game changer in her time management. &nbsp;Then they pull out their top 7 tips from a Business Insider  Article that outlines how successful women manage their time. As they are sharing these tips they also give us real life examples that work for women like us. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: "Most of us spend too much time on what is urgent, and not enough time on what is important." - Steven Covey &nbsp; Takeaways:  Make time for exercise Toughest tasks for early in the morning Take real breaks Take advantage of unexpected moments Plan ahead Don’t watch too much tv Multitask the right way  Resources Mentioned:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal mapping workbook Self reflection journal  Article  Pomodoro technique &nbsp; &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

Season 1- Episode 2: 7 Easy Tips to Help You Manage Your Time Effectively

In today’s episode Terri and Dom continue the conversation started in last week’s episode this time focusing on goal setting and overcoming procrastination. We all have been guilty of procrastination and Terri lets us in on when she realized she had to stop procrastinating to help reach her goals. What’s keeping you from following through and being accountable? They ask us, “what does try really mean?” and how does that affect our accomplishment of our goals. Then Terri and Dom use real life and personal examples to walk us through using SMART goals to get things done. As always, they give us some other invaluable “Pro tips and Game Changers”. Be sure to log on to the website to check out the goal setting worksheet that will put you on the path to achieving your dreams.   Quote of the Day: “I used to want the words ‘She tried’ on my tombstone. Now I want ‘She did it’.” – Katherine Dunham &nbsp; Takeaways: SMART GOALS  Specific Measurable Achievable Results-focused Time-bound  &nbsp; Resources Mentioned:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

Season 1- Episode 3:  How to Overcome Procrastination and Make Progress Fast

Terri shares with us a reader question about leaving a toxic relationship. We’ve all been there or know someone who’s been there. Terri talks about her healing from a toxic relationship- the ups and downs of it all, including having “friends”. What are your options? While there are many, Dom wants us to use the time to focus on healing ourselves- our in the meantime. What does time with ourselves really look like and is it even possible? Dom and Terri share with us some pretty cool ways to spend time with ourselves. They also gives us some important things to consider as we’re healing- with no deadline for completion. Our quote queen shares multiple nuggets that you’ll definitely want to share with your girls. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: ‘...I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started and those that bring you back. But the &nbsp;most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that’s just fabulous.’ - Carrie Bradshaw from Sex and the City &nbsp; Takeaways: Ways to dive into yourself:  Journal your thoughts and feelings Invest time in your hobbies Let yourself feel the feelings- but don’t act on them Spend time with friends and family Seek the support of a mental health professional  &nbsp; Resources Mentioned:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

Season 1- Episode 4: The Best Ways to Heal After Leaving a Toxic Relationship

Terri is scrolling down her social media timeline and noticed everyone else’s life was lit while hers seemed stagnant. She felt overwhelmed instead of inspired. Dr. Dom reminds Terri of her #BlackGirlMagic but noted a bigger issue...what happens when we don’t reach certain adulting milestones? We tend to engage in negative social comparison (your day 1) based on the highlights of someone else’s life (their day 100). We let other people tell us what we should focus on even if it’s not bringing us fulfillment. Dr. Dom and Terri point out some of the milestones many of us are expected to achieve (the good, the hard, the annoying, the fun) and the strategies we can utilize to be comfortable in our own path. Find your fire and make your own life LIT! Quote of the Day: "Don’t set sail on someone else’s star." - African proverb &nbsp;Takeaways:  Your life is yours to create. It won’t look like anyone else’s and that’s okay. Appreciate the good things happening to you in the moment  Revisit Your Why &amp; Your Master Plan Don’t Despise the Days of Small Beginnings Realize Why Successful Black Women Should Be Celebrated Motivate Yourself &amp; Create a Game Plan   4 Ways to Stay Motivated When Everyone Else’s Life is Lit  &nbsp; "Where you will sit when you are old shows where you stood in youth." — Yoruba proverb &nbsp; Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E5: Adulting Woes: When Everyone's Life is LIT and You Feel Stagnant

On the first day of Black History Month, Dom asks us to examine what it's like to be Black in America. Terri and Dom dive into a discussion about colorism, good hair, representation, how we talk, and other factors related to the black experience.

H.E.R Space Podcast: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

S1E6: Colorism, Talking White, and Black History, Oh My!

In this week’s episode, Terri and Dom invite you to join them for a live recording they held with several amazing women at the Womxn of Color Conference at the University of San Francisco. Just in time for Valentine's Day, this episode focuses on dating and relationships. No matter your current relationship status, ask yourself the questions Dom asked the live audience: “What are three things you look for in a relationship?” and, “What is your idea of a perfect date?” Asking these questions can help us begin to assess our relationship needs. Through three different stories, Terri shares with us how she learned to assess and address her relationship needs. As Terri and Dom answer questions from the audience they finally answer the question that made you tune in… “How to play by the rules so you don’t get played.” &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “We love because it’s the only true adventure”- Nikki Giovanni &nbsp; Takeaways: Dom and Terri did not answer all of the questions so a future episode will be dedicated to answering all of your questions so make sure you send questions via email, herspacepodcast.com. &nbsp; If you or someone you know is in (or has been in) an uncertain situation and would like some help, go to rainn.org for tons of resources. &nbsp; Resources: rainn.org  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E7: The Dating Game LIVE SHOW at University of San Francisco

It’s the day after Valentine’s Day. How did you spend the day? Were you focused on others or did you take time to care for yourself? Or was it just another day for you? Hopefully, you did something that made you feel good. In this week’s episode, Dom and Terri dive into the importance of self-care...doing the things (whatever they are) that make you feel good. While self-care is a phrase that seems to be tossed around a lot lately, do we know what it really means? How can we engage in it when we have been socialized to believe that doing so is selfish? Per usual, the ladies provide us with real-life examples from their lives and give us practical ways we can apply it to our own. Self-care is not going to look the same for everyone and shout out to all the ladies finding creative ways to pour into themselves! Remember...equate self-care with what they teach us on the plane- put your own oxygen mask on before you assist others. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” -&nbsp;Audre Lorde &nbsp; Takeaways:  “Taking care of yourself = keeping your cup full. If you don’t do things to keep your cup full, you have nothing left to give or share with others.” – Paige Burkes Self-care is not selfish. Just because everyone else is consuming a certain type of content doesn't mean you have to do it. Self-care is unique to each person. It's your decision to figure out and communicate to those around you. Let's not judge others on the self-care tactics they choose.  &nbsp; If you need ideas on how to establish a  Self-care plan, take a look at this link here. &nbsp; Resources:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Rainn.org &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E8: How to Find Your Own Self-Care Routine

No! In case you were wondering, no is a complete sentence. Use it without hesitation. Nike! (Just do it!) Know that using it is an act of self-care. Can you think of a time when you’ve had to say no or struggled to say no? Who have you had to say no to? How do you feel when you have to say? These situations are boundary testers and using “No” is a way for us to outline our rules of interaction. Terri and Dom offer us ways to say "No" within real-life situations, including instances in which they were successful, someone was clear with them on a boundary, and times when they struggled with saying "No." If you want to stand up for yourself in those uncomfortable moments, practice in the mirror, in the shower, in the car and remember... “No." It’s a complete sentence. I said what I said and it does not require justification or explanation. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." – Brené Brown&nbsp; &nbsp; Resources: 20 Ways to Say NO-  http://lifegetsorganized.com/2016/04/18/20-ways-to-say-no/ &nbsp; How to Say No And Why You Should Say It More- http://mochagirlspitstop.com/how-to-say-no/ &nbsp; 49 Ways To Say No To Anyone (When You Don’t Want To Be A Jerk)-&nbsp;https://www.careerfaqs.com.au/news/news-and-views/how-to-say-no-to-anyone &nbsp;  Therapy for Black Girls &nbsp; Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com &nbsp;

S1E9: How to Set Boundaries Effectively- No Is a Complete Sentence

Life is good...like REALLY good. In fact, it’s LIT. You’re “blessed and highly favored.” To the casual observer, everything on the outside appears to be wonderful. But on the inside...you feel empty. Lady, is this you? If so, you may be experiencing depression. What we know for sure is that ALL of us will experience symptoms of depression related to many normal life events like a relationship breakup, grief over a loss, or other stressors. For most of us, the feelings of sadness last for a few days at most. For others, if the symptoms last more than a two weeks we may be experiencing a major depressive episode. Today Terri and Dom discuss what  depression looks like; what are some causes; and why we need to reduce the stigma so that we can take care of ourselves. Terri shares with us pieces of her journey with depression and Dom addresses the uncomfortable topic of suicide. &nbsp; Some Common Signs and Symptoms of Depression:  Sadness Anger Loss of interest or pleasure Changes in sleep, weight, appetite  &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “I don’t think people understand how stressful it is to explain what’s going on in your head when you don’t even understand it yourself”- Anonymous &nbsp; Takeaways:   Take 5 minutes a day to pour into yourself (meditation, walking, talking with your support system) Check on your friends- especially the strong ones  Mood Tracker app If you or someone you know ever has thoughts of suicide please contact National Suicide Prevention Hotline   &nbsp; Resources:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E10: Thriving With Depression

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In a world where black women are often underrepresented and misunderstood, we need more safe spaces to just… be. Every Friday, join Dr. Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist, and Terri Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker, as they initiate authentic conversations on everything from fibroids to fake friends.

If you’re a black woman or woman of color looking for an extra dose of inspiration on the go, pull up a seat and join us on the H.E.R. (Healing, Empowerment, Resilience) Space podcast. Episodes are published every Friday on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, and Soundcloud.

We can’t wait to meet you, sis!

S28E4: Life After Divorce: Rediscovering Yourself & Finding Independence

Cultivating H.E.R Space

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