this song introduced me to you almost a year ago just after you released pleasure. I still come back, love this so much

Theres a reason why I hide my face, and my identity. People are so curious if im young or if im 23.

IM SORRY FOR MISTAKES I MADE, I NEED TO WATCH MY TONE.

sock monkey Island eheheheheh

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
the birds all sing a beautiful song
light beams through this is where i belong
peaceful people who fear to talk
they mimic them and love to mock
women from different countries
i feel pressured there's people watching me
pull u in with the sound of harmonies
they say this kid's gifted with prodigy

occupied i'm tired of people
that look in ur eye tells me u are deceitful
you live knowing this time your whole act has been a lie
you walk by the garden and every flower dies

THE BIRDS ALL SING A BEAUTIFUL SONG
LIGHT BEAMS DOWN THIS IS WHERE I BELONG
PEACEFUL PEOPLE WHO FEAR TO TALK
THEY MIMIC THEM AND LOVE TO MOCK
WOMEN FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES
I FEEL PRESSURED THERE'S PEOPLE WATCHING ME
PULL YOU IN WITH THE SOUND OF HARMONIES
THEY SAY THIS KID'S GIFTED WITH PRODIGY

yeah u better run from me i said
i'm used to this and being lonely
conversations don't extend when i'm
short on words i guess i don't feel like talking
spare my life it's just begun
i'm still tryna get us back but i know we're done
growing old too fast i'm too slow to outrun
problems chasing me but i know that they won

spotify

this is where i belong

lyrics:

Just holidays
And barely those holidays
Our good terms
Are not immune to decay 
I tried but im still away
And you’ve been fucking his brains out 
Don’t look at me as if there was a sorry to say

I would care but
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

 Ive never met someone so geared on my failure good job
At least I squeezed some meaning into ur shitty life huh
When I die an early death I hope that u can cope when the hatred in ur heart is now evicted with my pulse

Break the home
Breaks my bones and see my soul snapped too
Im alone most the time ur not restricting anything new
I like getting scary I do I know ur tryna be a boss good for u
What the fuck they turn me down for
 I am never going out more
I guess he wasn’t a regular guy
I hope u choke on ur vomit and die
My messages aids I do not open them
Im high as fuck from this bud its like opium
I don’t wanna live to get by
Ur literally here once and its over after that u fucking idiot do what u want ur done after this u fucking dumb ass u suck I fucking hate u
 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

Im torn apart and I am dirty
If its like this fuck 30
I wanna die right now
Baby im sorry im fucked I can’t talk right now
She lies
She just loves him to death
I dont compare to that hex
I suck the tits off her chest
Times waits
For nobody
Crossed lines
Become common knowledge
Bullshit u were with friends that’s bullshit
I was the culprit before
I feel projection in my point of view
  
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off 
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off numb
I been better off
As the bodies grow dry
And I bleed from my eyes
From some shit I shoulda never saw
I don’t need a life line
I don’t need a good night
I just drink until I shut it off

better_off_nUmb (splashgvng)

produced by heylog
enjoy ^-^

lyrics:
pacing around the floor making circles that could go miles
tears are running down my face they're stacking up in piles
threw us in recycle, unrecognizable files
all our data's lost, babe it's been a while
cause we
don't need
us
remember when we met i was too scared to even look at u
these knots that are in my stomach ain't normal they're all bc of u
and i can't help but stutter the first time i ever talked to you
and i knew u were special, really thought we'd have a future
but we
don't need
us

i stg
this can't be real
2 years gone
nothing to feel
it went so fast
thought it would last
but i was too, arrogant with that

staying the night at your home
feels good waking up, knowing ur close
don't know why or how i go
with you, was never alone
i'm poppin all my cells
where are you now
tell me this is real
cause i love to doubt
i just wanna lay right here
farther from the place ur near
i heard your whisper in my ear
3 words that i've always feared
that i fear

CAPABLE OF LOSING EVERYTHING
I GOT NO FRIENDS
ONLY PEOPLE THROUGH A PHONE SCREEN
I'M ALONE LESS
WHEN YOU CALLED I WAS HOPING
YOU WERE COMING HOME
1 YEAR DONE NOW 3
LEFT TO GO
POURING OUT MY HEART TO RANDOM EYES
BET THEY KNOW ME
BETTER THAN YOU EVER DID
COME AND SHOW ME
SHE'S TOO BUSY THROWING UP
ALL THE ALCOHOL
WHILE I'M SITTING IN MY LIVING ROOM
CUDDLING WITH MY DOG
bored out of my mind, riff guitar i love to escape
cut off everyone, i keep swimming in my mistakes
staring at the ceiling
bet it has more feelings
than i ever will i come to realize i'm deceiving

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
the biggest thing i fear
the darkness in my heart
will never disappear
now i'm back to start 
but u gave me one night where i felt happy again
i smiled and waved goodbye
i think i made a friend

she said, "the night is young"
i got nothing to do
let's ride around town
windows open through the roof
i think this is special
it's never been us two
laughing in the meadows, while the flowers bloom
don't leave u needa stay
i don't wanna go home
i could stay here for days
maybe hang again
cause i'm okay with that
i don't wanna get my hopes up but hey,
i think i made a friend

i hear them calling on my name
i'm still log and i'm still the same
hold right here don't let go of me
i'll be here if u need anything
it's getting pretty late
i could talk to u for hours
i never say a thing, i never say a word
but when i speak with u
i leave my introvert
i leave it all behind, is it better is it worse

well is it better is it worse cause you've known me for a while
and the day really depends if i frown or if i smile
will depression come again
but as soon as u went home
depression came back
but i don't really care cause i think i made a friend

she said, "the night is young"
well i got nothing to do
let's ride around town
windows open through the roof
i think this is special
it's never been us two
laughing in the meadows while the flowers bloom
don't leave u needa stay
cause i don't wanna go home
i could stay here for days
so maybe hang again
cause i'm okay with that
i don't wanna get my hopes up but hey..
i think i made a friend

but i don't think i'm ready i cannot have a girl yet
i'm still getting over my last relationship
i'm slowly getting better but some nights i still feel numb
now people wanna hangout but the doors shut
u say that u miss me and i really doubt that
u say that ur proud of me, do u even mean it?
but i think ur tryna take advantage of me
cause no one around me is doing what i'm doing

I THINK I MADE A FRIEND
I THINK I MADE A FRIEND
I THINK I MADE A FRIEND





i think i made a friend :,)

i think i made a friend

prod deadfish 
love you all <3

featured artist: https://soundcloud.com/heylog
socials:
https://www.instagram.com/deadfishig/

lyrics:

(I've kept on fucking up
and that's why
I can't keep it up
But now
I'm left here with no one
I gotta manage here on my own)

it's been so cold now
that I've been on my own now
I never want to wake up
these thought in my mind forever

No, I don't wanna hang out now
cause, too busy hating on myself
Just digging my grave deeper
til I meet the reaper
death to me is peace

I hate myself, all my cuts to prove that
I need a break, isolate from all of that
damn, it causes my mind to break
can you say that you relate?

So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

[heylog]
you don't know
how much u mean to me
i stumble up on my feet
text u and never sleep
i'm happy, this can't be me
cut
me
off
write a song about us
oh numb
i'm hoping ur gone
u caught me a break
recover from loss
but still feel the same

[deadfish]
So I've been
tryna find
anything that could help me
and therapy
isn't really perfect
I'm so close to pull the plug
I'm on my own
I'm on the edge

I'm so scared
nowhere to run
But I'm still sitting on my own
well, that's how
my day goes

on my own

on my own (feat. heylog)

produced by heylog
enjoy C:

lyrics:
i wait patient for karma
butterflies and larva
pain in my sternum
poking me in my heart oh
floating i've risen
fall apart, rebuild it
emptiness, refill it
but i'm out of liquid
i made it far
low on juice, recharge
going through some photos, i feel pain in my heart
(god)
love me or not, do something
don't tease or play w my feelings
wait here in the cold
anger, unfold

you
oh
you
oh
you
oh
oh
you
baby hold me
enough is not enough
i need something
when i fall out of love

listen here u need to know
come closer, this is unknown
our love is what i'd die for
i don't bluff so let's explore
(ok)
i love u and no one else
i left u so i'll take the guilt
please don't move and just sit still
don't let go it's me i'll kill

can't stop coughing
bruising my chest
i make mistakes, keep losing my head
avoiding talk, don't wanna see friends
afraid of toxics i can feel it
you said u was my boy
but i hear the fake in your voice
(so fake)
"WHY DO I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU OR SEE YOU
WHY DO I NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU BEEN UP TO"
I DON'T FEEL LIKE CONVERSATING
I BOTTLE UP, GIVE IT TIME TILL I BREAK IT
DROWNING AND DROWNING MY SENSE
HOW AM I BLESSED WHEN YOU SAW WHAT I DID
LET OUT MY EMOTION UPSTAIRS IN MY CRIB
PROCRASTINATING AGAIN AND AGAIN

lyrics:

Sage green eyes look over me while I break down
U sucked out my life from my heart I need to lay down
I read somewhere u rarely should ever trust what people say now
I didn’t wanna believe but I know it keeps me safe now
Please just learn to fight on ur own cause ur all u got
Its something I hated hearing but honestly it helped a lot
She said rather drink some gin and smoke some pot to block it out
And baby that’s ur decision and I can’t help if u dont hear me out

But still we keep on drinking thru the hard times
These 50 people around keep us occupied
This October is so much colder than last years
I wish I could relax but I dont see any of my friends here
Ive made it this far so Im sure I could never fold here
But before u broke me up I didn’t know tears
I blow my cigarette smoke in fall air
U look so good but oh my god u bite
I didn’t trust nobody and oh my god I was right to
love didn’t use to mean that they’d try lock u up and hide u
Baby it’s a big world and I’m trying but I hate this
As soon u gain some traction oh its funny how the plot twist
Its all the same when the last breath comes
Who would u save and who would u rather have die
Dont focus on the blade look me in my eyes
Im here to wipe the last tears u cry
I was never the one to avenge ur life
Cause in ur last move u sacrificed mine
So baby I garuntee that it’ll be only bad dreams tonight
And in the worst of it all I show teeth tonight
Because me of still free tonight
Because of me I still breath
But because of u I cant sleep
It seems ur smells still stuck in my sheets tonight

Sage green eyes look over me while I break down
U sucked out my life from my heart I need to lay down
I read somewhere u rarely should ever trust what people say now
I didn’t wanna believe but I know it keeps me safe now
Please just learn to fight on ur own cause ur all u got
Its something I hated hearing but honestly it helped a lot
She said rather drink some gin and smoke some pot to block it out
And baby that’s ur decision and I can’t help if u dont hear me out

life sucker (taylor morgan x punk)

'i'm sorry' produced by heylog
enjoy >.<

lyrics:
every other june is never hot it's just as cold
staying in my house all day my skin could probably mold
closing both my drapes and sit in silence while i scroll
loving u is hard when i don't love me as a whole
mom notices whenever i'm down i point my chin
she ask, "is something wrong?" but everytime i always fib
people my age are married when i feel like a kid
i write all apologies to people on a list
so i'm sorry for mistakes i've made i need to watch my tone
i'm sorry letting people down u didn't have to go
i'm sorry for responding late just tired of my phone
and i'm sorry for never smiling but can't u see i'm broke
i am out of luck when nothing goes the way i want
i wanted ur opinion u didn't have to be so blunt
telling u my secrets but u were so wrong to trust
everything is hitting now not separate, all at once
and it hurts so much
in the dirt eating mud
let me say it really sucks
i'm so close to giving up
and i really hate it here
this pain is severe
i'm so close from disapearing
yet again another year

there's a reason why i hide my face and my identity
people are so curious if i'm young or if i'm 23
searching for the info and my god it just upsets me
please just let it go i have a life and i'm not telling
show me some respect, there's a point that i'm unknown
maybe i dislike my face or maybe i just don't
music is my second life and my first is personal
finding out the truth u come to realize it just hurts to know

i'm sorry for mistakes i've made, i need to watch my tone
i'm always letting people down and everytime they go
i'm sorry i'm on dnd just tired of my phone
and i'm sorry i don't smile, is it clear to u i'm broke
i am out of luck when nothing goes the way i want
i play out all scenarios but they're too go to trust
dodging my own hatred but i always fail to duck
every problems hitting me like a million bombs
and it hurts so much
in the dirt, eating mud
let me say it really sucks
i'm so close to giving up
and i really hate it here
this pain is severe
i'm this close from disappearing
i survive another year

i'm sorry

'collide' produced by heylog
enjoy ^.^

lyrics:
removing pieces of flesh
ur gonna leave me i bet
i don't stand a single chance
when u don't even lend me a hand
i'm hurting but i'm fine
i'm burning, still alive
i watch all my emotions collide
put me to a test
anchored, need to rest
but right now i can't and it's
because i'm so stressed on my last and final breath
sad just like usual, oh boy i'm such a mess
i don't fit in, something just doesn't click
worry u won't hurt my feelings i'll just lay in bed

I AM LOST FOR WORDS I'M AFRAID OF GETTING CURVED
do u think u feel me well enough to know my hurt
I AM LOST FOR WORTH HONESTLY THIS COULD BE WORSE
all the things i've done tell me what do i deserve
I AM SO DEPRESSED IS IT A LITTLE OBVIOUS
searching for a light but it seems all the powers dead
I FEEL MY DESCENT WEIGHT ME DOWN AND SLOWLY PRESS
barely ever happy always find it hard to get

i am so depressed
nothing new i guess
sum up everything and i'm hanging by a thread	
constantly regret
flip a switch and just reset
wish it was that easy, repeat it all again

collide

'me' produced by heylog
enjoy "."

lyrics:
you see
i'm always down
down bad and
turn around
walking backwards
hit the ground
lookin up pushing me down
my biggest enemy
is
me
but how can
this
be
look i
step in a party
wonder why
am i here 
and check the time
check the weather 
and do it twice
then i realize my biggest enemy
is
me
but how can
this
be?

if u know me well enough then u know i got flaws
u gotta get going, when u leave i shut off
argue with me all the time i'm just overthinking
grab the brain and took the mind connecting all the pieces oh
the enemy
here is me
this whole time..
i been
in front of me

can't get me to stop
my shoes giving me blisters
it's difficult to crop u out the picture
but i gotta do it one of these days or later
baby i'm a nuisance
my hearts covered in layers oh
the enemy
here is me
this whole time
i been..
in front of me
look here i go through it
this not a joke i'm so pissed
wake up and mope, slouching
always no hope
(but don't quit)
hate on myself
that's my loss
i don't need help
i'm so done
one two three four
i'm it
but i give up
you win
take me out the frame i don't do this
swear like every single day i'm always losing
can't tear me apart already ruined
but i don't know why u lie what are u doing
already knew it
hating myself twice now i don't even cry no more
underneath my eyes, rapidly bounce back and forth
seeing through your lies
now i don't get phased
but thank god, now i realize
that the enemy is me

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
oh we don't feel the same
like what we used to but we'll be okay
2 hours delay
part of me could never push u away
see i still love you, it'll never change
i need to lose you, i wanna keep u safe
but i'm still waiting for u to come home
u reside somewhere else now
oh kay i'm losing sleep
i think about u every day and every single week
but i'm still surviving this deep
we talk like once a month just know i'm working on me
and when i go to bed ur on my mind
and it effects the way i dream
waking up isn't a good time
u know we made a decent team
driving away u want me to stay
the minute i leave i'm missing your face
i don't understand, u were all i got
i'll piss through my pants if u got a guy
baby i know u could do better
she hates to be used, so why do u let him
if i was you i'd say to him,
"i'll no longer continue to put up with this"

can't keep looking back or else i'll slowly die
but i'm already dead i can't really decide
to open up the gap and better up my life
i want it bad but you'd hate me to try
do ur thing i know it's over
dead boy like being a poser
bad terms couldn't care about no closure
dive into exposure
i don't drink, so i stay being sober
oh man i should've closed her
cut it off but now i wanna hold her
so come a little closer
i told u everything now can u keep it on the low
cross ur heart and promise me that u won't tell a soul
you'll do anything
to keep it closed
i don't wanna say
the less u know
studying ur face
zero flaw
all the details
so beautiful

closure

produced by heylog
enjoy </3

lyrics:
laying in my arms u look so cute under the stars
your father comes outside and sees us laying in the yard
focus on the coral sky and threading both our hearts
n every time the sun sets i see u from afar
notice how i ask u things it shows i truly care
don't know what u feel i am completely unaware
well after loving you i realized no one can compare
you're the only thing i want but life's just never fair
but everything's gonna be okay, i promise
but all the things in life feel like they're falling
but i'll be fine, i'll make it through but when is it over
i spent a couple years with u and now i want no one

the evening carries little wind that travels through ur hair
u move it off ur face and put it back behind ur ear
and u caught my expression but i couldn't help but stare
the civil things like that well babe it makes it hard to bare
i'm praying for u, hoping all ur dreams come true
and i wish everything goes right for you
but i don't care if u want the same for me too
just know you're important to me, am i too?

well everything's gonna be okay, i promise
but why do all the things in life look like they're falling
but don't u worry, i'll be fine but when is it over
we spent a couple years together, now i want no one

everything's gonna be okay, i promise

lyrics:

Create the bond
And break the bond in anger
We were once and once again are strangers
Piercing me her eyes have turned to lasers
Create the plot and skew the plot to make her
I hope this feeling in my stomach blows by
You were the only one to read me thru my eyes baby
I was fucked by u made it alright baby
now without you part of me dies

I thought human nature gifted moral code but I was wrong
She could kill me now and I would still try to put it in a song
Circulation leaves my fingers while I jot down these poems
I feel being hated still holds more than being alone
Ive lost too many friends to the same shit I take
Heavens way too full for someone that had willed this fate
The bottles never deep enough to drown out this pain
And the pills are never strong enough to alleviate this weight
Create the bond
And break the bond in anger
We were once and once again are strangers
Piercing me her eyes have turned to lasers
Create the plot and skew the plot to make her
Break me again
And again and again
When im numb Ill say sorry to my family and friends
Im on drink im on pills im on ten im on go
In my head I hear voices telling me im better cold
I dont know x4
But I dont know
I dont know x4
Huh
I dont know x6

Back in Dallas I thought I could make time
I was nervous but I tried to play fine
I feel my pills push down on top of my eyes
But In the 416 I really come to life
Inside of this city when u cry its pure ice
Snow is blinding me in these college streetlights
Oh what happened to me I guess in the end our time flies
That’s why I think ill come and check on u tonight

Kill me and then love me and then cut me and then stuff me and then dump me in this ditch
I was so damn whipped
U ungrateful bitch
please just choke
This about people that did me wrong
If u feel me just sing along
I had never felt how I was
On that evening night in that house
But Im too scared to reach out
So ill be here thinking about it

Back in Dallas I thought I could make time
I was nervous but I tried to play fine
I feel my pills push down on top of my eyes
But In the 416 I really come to life
Inside of this city when u cry its pure ice
Snow is blinding me in these college streetlights
Oh what happened to me I guess in the end our time flies
That’s why I think ill come and check on u tonight

crusher (branwen)

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

i'm sorry

heylog

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