heylog - all he touched is dead (corbin smidzik)

featuring @user-411557229
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
the veins in my skin pop out when i'm warm
i handle a blade and point to my arm
oh she'd be upset if i put it through
i'll put it away but only for u
well this time u won, you proud of yourself
i put us down, no need to be held
i've suffered too long in my mental state
i'm harming myself, does it look like i'm okay
i said u were right
and i'm sorry just know i'm not bright
or the smartest, keep beating my eyes
till they're blue and to where i can't see
now they're swollen, i'm blind in my view
and now everyday feel like i lose
but i'm trying to cope without u
and it's hard oh baby it's hard
so wish me ur luck and ur regards

it drips from my forearm to my shirt
watching the blood fall is the worst
ignore all of your calls cus i've learned
i made it a full year without her
I LISTEN TO NONSENSE ON A BASIS
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND IT'S MY FAVORITE
I KEPT THEM AROUND FOR ENTERTAINMENT
I CHOOSE TO STAY PRIVATE AND FACELESS
DON'T TEXT ME
DON'T CALL ME
I'VE WITNESS AUTOPSY
DON'T COME HOME
I WON'T BE HERE
I LEFT SO IT'S SINCERE
a lots on my mind
like my future and maybe a wife
and i wonder if music's my prize
it's the only thing going for me
been a week since i've gone outside
i'm pathetic it sums up my life
forgot her and god it's about time
and something that i can't help but think
if ur disappointed in me

(residential)
tell me what you find
deep inside her eyes
cause she used to be kind
until she lost her mind

blade in the basement
i'm high but i'm anxious
snapping back the hat when i am next in the rotation
thought i found myself, but i'm in dissociation
love being alone, but i don't fuck with isolation

quarter ounce
pack it up and take me out
you said i’d be better now
but all i got are pills around

where the fuck you’ve been at
you left your nail marks on my back
now i'm going too fast
but i can't help but think about the past
i just smoked what was left in the bag
and i really don't mind if i crash

spotify

pathetic ft. residential

by https://soundcloud.com/heylog

lyrics:
please don't leave
i hold so much grief
and i loved your voice
ur not here so there's no point
ur a liar, it's in your name
i had no idea your two-faced
gonna die here for ur sake
ur actions tell me u were brave
and i thought that i knew u
i guess i don't
u can say if i'm annoying too
cause i know
got a lot i need to figure out
i'm trying so
i believe there ain't no stopping now
i'm on the ropes
the corners made of cobwebs
the widows home
sometimes she comes to visit me
through the holes
and she say "what're you doing here, you look alone"
and i say that i'm developing and in the zone
accept no apologies ur just too late
split my heart in half now it goes two ways
exhausted, i need to say goodbye
i love it when there's peace and when it's quiet

suffocate in feelings
it's 100% my decision
whether if i should just let it go
but the sadness keeps filling
(it never ends)
made no progress
i got so much time to stall with
but i don't know how to manage it
produce on my own and abolish
ur attitude is contagious
i rub it off but u kept staying
and i let u walk all over me
i should've stood my ground
i ain't no man i am weak

i mean nothing to u now
cus i feel it through the text
oh how u love to talk about yourself
well no one likes a narcissist
these lines i split
slowly vanish from my wrist
and i tried to hide what i did
now the planks are rotting on our bridge
but how can i get u to change your mind
well babe i'm never ever fine
only for a sec, depression prys
swear the gap is crushing on my life
ur a liar, it's in your name
i had no idea ur two-faced
gonna die here for your sake
ur actions tell me u were brave
please don't leave
i hold so much grief
and i loved your voice
ur not here so there's no point

veins

the widows home

SPOTIFY

heylog - the widows home

'goodbye' produced by heylog

lyrics:
almost 5am, i find it harder to sleep
i crack the window and i hear every animal sing
with a wind blowing soft, rustling through the leaves
admire nature as it comes alive from winter to spring
the flowers grow so tall that they start to bloom
and i just took a couple out cus i picked them for u
hoping one day you'll travel here to see what's new
cus this bouquet is gonna die if u don't visit me soon
and i
have a difficult time
spending days
when ur on my mind
wish this
would just go away
cus i'm trying to push u away
why
do i feel lonely
knowing i
hurt to see
an outcast
no one wants to be
and giggled at
n always being teased

can someone give a valid reason on why i shouldn't die
in disbelief that i will never see a point in life
i'm on and off of feeling bad and for a second i'm fine
it's so messed up and i don't think that i will ever resign
i'm so bipolar and i don't want u to see me like this
cus i guarantee i'll scare u if i speak from my chest
i didn't mean for u to leave when u saw that on my wrist
and i'm so sorry for putting u through all of this 
so why
do u keep playing w me
is it cause
u get lonely
in the night
and think of us
well it's fine
cus i think of us too
why
do i feel like this
well nevermind
cus u don't care about this
and if i die
will u grieve
and will cry
and will u miss me

CAN SOMEONE GIVE A VALID REASON ON WHY I SHOULDN'T DIE
CAUSE YOU MAKE ME WANNA KILL MYSELF OR GO GRAB THE KNIFE
I'M AT THE AGE WHERE I CAN NEVER SEE A POINT IN LIFE
IN DISBELIEF OF EVERYTHING THAT I'M JUST WASTING MY TIME
I'M SO BIPOLAR AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THIS
CAUSE I GUARANTEE I'LL SCARE YOU IF I SPEAK FROM MY CHEST
I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN WITH ALL OF MY REGRETS
THERE'S MANY THINGS I WISH WERE GONE OR WISH I COULD RESET
I STEP INTO THE LIGHT AND DID THIS WITHOUT A GROUP
AND SO YOU NOTICING ME NOW WHEN I'M STEADY ON THE MOVE
AND YOU JUST THINK IT'S ALL OKAY TO HIT ME UP OUT OF THE BLUE
I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND OR TYPE OF BENEFIT TO SATISFY YOU
SO PLEASE GIVE A VALID REASON THAT YOU WANT ME DEAD
IS IT SAFE TO EVEN KNOW THAT THIS JUST MIGHT BE A TEST
FOR YOU TO TRICK ME INTO THINKING I'M NOTHING BUT A MESS
DELETE YOUR IMAGE THAT I LONGED FOR AND NOT SEEN AGAIN

if i can't love
will i end up
alone and forgot
or spend it w someone
i can't fall in love
my hearts dead
probably numb
i miss u my dear
it feels like it's been years

no way home
i was never close
the path ends here
don't know where to go
stone cold lies
i knew i was right
so farewell
cus this is goodbye

goodbye

'destroy' produced by heylog

lyrics:
often this summer we fight & start over
u were the best but this bye ain't forever
i'll make some space for ur tears on my shoulder
cus i'll still be here when ur ready to come home

don't cry i'm here with u
through every bump i still love you
don't give up, we'll survive the storm
i promise to keep u warm
babe i try but it's so hard
another boy is probably locked in ur arms
i have no hope of trying again
do u believe we've come to an end

i'm so goin numb, rip my heart out and my guts
love for me is lost and this pain is all for what?
(why)
i built an outer shell, ain't no one allowed in here
i keep my circle small and i shrink it every year
i'm still growing up and i fear the endless void
that i might get sucked in and soon to be destroyed
(destroy)
never would i want u to feel like ur not safe
i see fear in ur eyes when i found ur true place
why u always lie
don't joke it's not the time
i'm not here to pick sides
i'm just here to sit tight
she leveled to my waistline
and give me the rude eye
no something don't sit right
emotionless incline

I ALWAYS GET WORSE BEFORE I GET ANY GOOD
WHY CAN I NOT LEARN WHEN I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD
I LOOK AT MYSELF AND I HATE THE FACE I SEE
YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THESE WORDS TRULY MEAN
	
i just need to isolate before i go and lose it
on some stupid situation i have no control with
watch me think over my head
at this point i'm useless
i won't match up to your degree
who in here is uncommon like me
just leave me alone
before i destroy us
away with everything
and everyone

destroy

https://open.spotify.com/album/2erLjZg3vJPYobdmKrexhW?si=Iu-yZ4N-Qc-Ec5v5DKoxrg

prod. @deademane

(heylog)
between the glass
is filled with poison
i feel like trash
apply the ointment
just stay back
he needs some time alone
cus through the cracks
is the widows home
don't come inside here
i would bounce
we're not alive here
don't stick around
when ur minds clear
come in the house
cus i'm not safe here
so get me out

don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

(casperrr)
oh she
she is lying thru her teeth
i swear that she wants to kill me
lay with my lifeless body
while staring at the ceiling
her actions are deceiving
she cuts herself she's bleeding
the blood is running and she really
fucking loves to see it

welcome to the widows home
there's cracks and holes in every wall
the emptyness fills all those holes
this place really tourments my soul
but you can't leave neither can i
i'll go into a room and cry
i'll try to just make up my mind
cut my hair lock myself inside

there's nowhere to go to now
there's no1 to save you now

(heylog + casperrr)
don't come inside here
you might fear
people always die here
bloods along the cabinets
he sacrificed a lot here
everything was gone he loved
and now there's nothing left here
he said he wants to make a change
so he cuts every piece of hair
don't come inside here
you might fear
everybody dies here
walls are colored red
and i see bodies lying everywhere
roam around the room
can you tell there's nothing left here
you're quick to quit imagining
that you brought me inside of here

casperrr x heylog - there's nothing left here (deademane)

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
swear i could throw up if i keep thinking of you
you disgust me and i guess u wanted to prove
that ur shameful you gave it all up for him
just some pleasure to receive from a little bitch
i need to let it go
but it haunts me to my deepest core

surround me in this darkness whom i spare
there is plenty more for you so join me in here
i need to let u know
that u disgust me
and i can't look at u no more
get myself to do things but i never wanna do them
once i go outside i'm proud i got myself to do it
you disappoint me to the point i never wanna see you
your motions say it all from what you n him have been through

now ur shameful you gave it all up for him
oh just a finger to receive between your lips

pleasure

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
so
is this the end
we won't give up
just yet
so
what's next
i'll wait for you
even if you've met
someone else

you'll miss me
well i'll miss u too
staring at the sky
cus i see you
you need me
and i need u too
i just need to find where u went
i'm lost, unspoken
don't blame me for parting ways i had to cut u off
even when i smiled you just had to wipe it off
escape into the woods where no species exist at all
i might've found safety and that was all i want

so
this where we end?
i can't give up
just yet..
so
what's next
i'll wait for u
but you probly met
someone else

slip

produced by heylog
enjoy .-.

lyrics:
her eyes frown upon me looking at the mess
marks are on my shoulder blade and right below my neck
oh she can't stand the look i give her back
please don't be afraid
it was just a little scratch

it was just a little scratch..

u make me nervous
sending chills from head to toe
i could feel ur fingertips 
dig into my bones
i'm not scared at all
you can have me by my throat
her iris weakens thee
the brown just got a hold of me

a hold of me..

you look cold so i'll keep u warm
keep u warm
walking through the snow and i see ur door
see ur door
u look so pretty waiting there for me
there for me
sparks are round ur eyes when u stare at me
stare at me

stare at me
stare at me..

iris

produced by heylog
enjoy <3

lyrics:
when i burn in fire
you gave a hand
i'll try not to let go
she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i thank u for being
so delicate

i'll decide ur demeanor to me
no ambition it was never easy
on the highway he finally came clean
how the hell could you do that to me
i thought u were my bestfriend
cus i know that they don't cut ur back
text and i won't answer, get on read
don't play w my emotions i'm so delicate
so delicate

when i burn in fire 
u gave a hand
but i might just let go
and she understands
nothing is more beautiful
than your demand
i hope i treated you
better than him

walking outside notice autumnal leaves
yellow and red and a few orangish trees
the air is fresh when i'm jogging thru this subdivision
my legs hurt.. take breath heavily
run by three deer on my right
they look at me like i'm threatening their life
the parents are guarding their fawn
sometimes i wish family could be us

autumn

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND

in the eventide it's cold 
as i'm right beside the woods
every bug is now buzzing
in a forest, in a bush
it's that time to hibernate
animals retreat from the north
toward the south to migrate
winter streets get quickly worn
DESCEND INTO YOUR SOUL
BLOOD DRAWING FROM MY SKULL
WOULD YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT
YOU REAP WITH WHAT YOU SOW
examining your mind
hope to intertwine
oh everything aligns
beside you feeding me with lies

pokin thru the light and lost all them
being used as your personal vent
if u keep it up i might just dip
cus the words u say leave me in dents
i set my expectations way too high
it kinda sucks but i'll let this one slide
i gotta regroup and resupply
quit tryna fool me i see right through ur eyes

I COULD DISINTEGRATE RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES
AND YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHETHER IF I WAS DEAD OR ALIVE
NOW THEIR EYES WIDEN LIKE IT'S SOME SORT OF SURPRISE
I WAS JUST TESTIN TO SEE IF IT CROSSED YOUR MIND
BUT IT DIDN'T 
I SEE YOU'RE TRYNA PRY YOUR WAY INTO MY BUSINESS
YOU'LL NEVER GET IN
EVERY YEAR THE CIRCLE SHRINKS AND IT THICKENS
IT ALWAYS THICKENS

pause

she wonders why i always hangout in the dark
idk bruh just chilling playing guitar
oh it was all my fault
didn't know committing to a girl would be hard
so i should really focus on my bread
there's never a balance, music till i go to bed
baby i'm far too gone
bags under my eyes i didn't sleep until dawn

you'll never get it

iris

heylog

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