treading light

prod me:

im a prick and i admit it 
prolly shoud of see the signs
she was throwing subtle hints 
but i ignored em at the time 
but today i went back to the old texts 
just to see what it was like before she detest 
everything i did 
im a dumbass little kid 
man i shouldve payed attention to the things i never did 
what tf im even saying when im talking to you
im pointing out another flaw and i project it on you 

never understood how you could stay with me 
im a bitch i need help 
i need therapy
ive been struggling to love myself 
looking at the mirror i might off myself 
so 

tell me what im doing what im doing everyday 
i might pull the fucking trigger 
i might pull it any day 
and they tell me that they love me 
but i never really felt it 
every other day is an excuse to climb a mountain
lately ive been getting really better at this music
ever since we broke up
make a beat and then abuse it 
i dont even eat not getting sleep its not a problem
lately ive been focusing on things not at the bottom.

if i could go back

2504 - my way back remix

come for a ride in the car lets go 
baby jus take my card im on the payroll (swipe swipe swipe)
ima evade the law i gotta lay low
ur like an angel 
u can see the halo 
if u diss a bureau man we sending bullets to ur place 
man ur whole life is a lie u live it up until the grave 
on the road so many times im in like 15 dif states 
but they cant find out where i stay 
so avant garde like penny lane 

new pain i feel it 
new wound i heal it 
i just stare at the ceiling 
dont know how im feeling 
dont know what im dealing with 

bitch i got no fucking secrets 
heat missiles n they seekers 
i just chomped another opp n now i think my fkin teeth hurt 
damn lil bro look like a weasel 
tht shit i tote is lethal 
man why you go everywhere we go? 
that shit is kinda creepy ...

Angelic prod lewisgoing

@ihateakira <3 go follow

(me)
it should've been worth it
try to help but i hurt it
but it all goes over my head

i'm so damn stupid
i thought i could but i cant do this
try to give up instead

give me one more chance i swear
i'll make it up to u
i try the hardest i can but
its not enough for you

this is torture everything i touch ends up dead
i'm on the border of being pushed over the edge

(@ihateakira)
i know they envy me
i had just lost some friends
yea i just made a couple enemies
3 months ago she wanted me
now she says "ur dead 2 me"
i know what u want
u have never acted so friendly
tell me what u want
wont forget the words u said 2 me
baby keep it on lowkey
i just need u here 2 hold me
remember what u told me
"baby thats the old me"
and i know u like that
despite what i said i need u back
feel like im setting u back
guess i should just stay on track

breakdown w/ akira (soju)

its my bday ^_^ 


credits 2 :
@prodrest
@nskyi
@1diot
@15elias
@wfbg

anxiety again

got carried by @ice-strawberry <3
this was fun to work on so hope u like it :>
cover art from @ice-strawberry btw

(me)
i know ive been fightn w myself again
none of this shit makes any sense
losing my fucks to dispense
how many days will be like this

takin so long to answer the door
everyday is the same and i cant fucking ignore it
try so hard attempts unoticed

17 years ive been failing myself
hide away my tears just to avoid help
cant picture myself in 5 years maybe
i should try harder call me crazy

walking to ur place empty minded
finding my peace in an empty target 
none of this shit makes sense to me
my mental health is degrading and theres nothing to fix

(@ice-strawberry)
oh no
im losing my mind
oh no
im dying rn

losing my mind cuz all those pills I ingested
awake @ night thinking bout our fiction
good mental health is hard to get 
but i barely think about

i'on fallin love again
stg can we b just friends ?
killin my pain w the razorblade
yeah I FEEL LIKE IM DYING, o well

failing myself w/ ice (dercept, jolst)

@threedimensionsapart prod fr

https://genius.com/Siralbedo-it-hurtz-ruined-lyrics

it hurtz (p. tda)

@1lucina + @yyuskee + @jonsve
prod @tgwog & @litothedon
"pluggnb" - yuske 2021
coverart by MyungYI

@1finallife x @1anteiku

failing myself w/ ice (dercept, jolst)

hiclover