immediately added to the number 1 song in my life this is the first time i hear tevin in a song in 2 years and it's in the most beautiful piece ever. bless everyone who made this song i love it so so much

idk where else to write this so ill just comment again... this is the most peaceful thing in the world to me. some moments reminding me of walking in the city i love and the sun around the art filled streets as well as my favorite movies that made me

this song means a lot to me thank you for listening
ill get better at music i promise
꧁ ꧂

i couldn't find myself
and life is around the corner
i could probably melt
and now that i am older

i see all my friends hated me
lived a lie just for my fantasy
oblivious in all these situations
but i think i can fix them
i think i can fix them

clovers on my face
im flying so i can't even feel them
you’re my everything
but flowers only bloom every season
i cant feel my breathin
feels like my life does have some meaning
my heart feels empty
but i cant fight with my reason
fight with my reason
(x2)

is it all my fault
i just cant evolve
all these cracks in my vault and
i dont understand at all how

im breaking so easily
my mind is confused
my soul has died lethally
but that isnt news
my temples abused
the angels are teasing me
and they all accuse
that what im saying isnt true

clovers
clovers
its not over til i say its over
gotta pressure on
cant give it the shoulder
clovers
clovers
i gotta overcome this boulder
im not getting in the eye of the holder
this worlds getting colder
but im still wrapped in my clovers
wrapped in my clovers

i thought they were my friends
but they told me to my own face that they werent
i thought that I could trust her
but she threw it all away in the dirt
feeling all these emotions
the anguish
the pain
the atonement
all of my fear
and my hatred
are bolded
my body its coded
but i cant let it control me

false promises were made about me
and my hands were scarred from the thorns
placed around me from all my fears
i can see through my eyes
but my eyelids still act as a blockade around my sea of tears
is this the first act or the finale
for my new life to have past all these years
as my old reality is crushed
i try to look to the future as my mind begins to clear

clovers

https://ffm.to/bleith 

cover art by noah greene https://temberl.in/

i'll be the first

pronounced "bləith, or blayeth"
_________________________________
guess it's been a long time
i don't even know
nothing left but splintered bones
and broken hope
walking down the road
we grew up on
choking on the roses 
but they're grown and gone

inhaling erosion i'm sinking i'm floating that
solemn corrosion i'll swallow the hope and i'll 
hold onto something and someone will hear the 
implosion aeolian sediments blowing away

maybe i won't miss those white halls and those silos
and your wide eyes

(do you remember me?)

all the pain went when you kissed me
but it was back when i woke up
winters always warmer when you're with me
caught a cross to call my own
in the inverted lattice beneath
i was just trying to calm you down
'cause this summer i'll be sixteen 
and i still wonder how
covered in clovers and i’m six feet
under now five leaves aren't enough
this september i’ll be leaving
throw the photos on the ground i should have known
i should have known

slipping through the cracks i'm calling it back on you
shadows shifting elisions i'm still in your arms
cosmic collisions it's crumbling falling through
scaffold splitting derisions i'm sealing the hearth

inhaling erosion i'm sinking i'm floating that
solemn corrosion i'll swallow the hope and i'll 
hold onto something and someone will hear the 
implosion aeolian sediments blowing away

one to many times i let myself slide
resin in the hide and it's hopeless
summit through the sides i thought of better ties
brethren tiled the pine on a pulpit
covered in the sines i coveted the lies
nolled up on a lyre a forfeit
lauded once or twice a strath that lead the line
straffed it to your silage and sold it

if you'd just lie awake 
i won't shear no shame

save me 
break me
save me
chain me

all the pain went when you kissed me
but it was back when i woke up
winters always warmer when you're with me
caught a cross to call my own
in the inverted lattice beneath
i was just trying to calm you down
'cause this summer i'll be sixteen 
throw the photos on the ground i should have known
i should have known

guess it's been a long time
i don't even know
nothing left but splintered bones
and broken hope
walking down the road
we grew up on
choking on the roses 
but they're grown and gone

bleith

u know that i try to love you,
i try to love
and you can't say that i didn't try
and now we wanna rush shit
i can feel the pressure, i can feel it crushing

but hold on
cus what i'm waiting for needs some patience
as the eve calls, i wouldn't stall waiting

is it known what you're doing?
can i know what you're gonna do?
i know you're with the other dude
and you prophecize in my ruin,
and you prophecize in my ruin,
me and my mind

i was trying give them love,
didn't think it'd hurt this much,
gotta be patient, 
i wouldn't stall waiting

i end moving out of view
and i kept moving without you
it hurts just to say you don't know me
and you may never know

install

Did she text back
I pick up my phone
staring at the screen for two minutes
it felt like forever

I know there’s been setbacks
But it is half past eight
man i should be wake
but i can’t complain
no not this time

Well
I guess trying can’t help it but
All the towing and the hauling
still again and again
Maybe i should cull my mind before i’ll get strained

The herald kept me on edge
Been idle for as long as i can remember me
Oh
I’ll roam up this time for how long to me
I’ll hone to a better me
Think it’s just one inhale away

There’s too much rain to say

4/6/2023 - 24/8/2023

Slecht-Weer-Vandaag

i miss every moment now i better make it count
i miss every moment now i better make it count

breathing out the testimony of what life is like without
all the social interaction and it really has me howling

apologize 
to the stranger on the camera
cant see his eyes
but he is crying showing his private parts
crying from lack of love
i know how much that hurts
so brother go put on a shirt,
let's go get your life together

you miss every moment now you better make it count
you miss every moment now you better make it count
and i miss 
every moment 
and i better make it count

i am accountable

https://www.pcrf.net/

https://bdsmovement.net/

Stagnant on morbid curiosity

To crystallize the feeling

Aglow, we flash to grey

And watch the soul deviate
 
Lately you’ve been staring at the corpse

Like there’s nothing left to see

Transfixed by the writing on the wall

Apathy is the disease

If you leave it alone, then somebody gets hurt

If you topple a tree, well the crash will get heard

The system's kinetic, the signal dispersed

I tried to hold the whole weight of the world

anti apathy song

cover art by @9nasu
piano by @alexanderpanos
violin by jessie morgan @ https://www.fiverr.com/jessiem279
additional vocals by @oyeme-thomas
additional texture by @tevinmichaelr
spoken word performed by @tevinmichaelr
spoken word written by @50landing

big thanks to everyone that helped me on this one

lyrics:

whether you’re here or not, i’d still be dancing

whether you’re here or not, i’d still be dancing

you don’t be the judge of my post when i go post on my volition
don’t have to tell me what’s broke cuz i’m the one who broke it to fit my vision 

i don’t care to fix it
seems like a waste of time to me
i don’t mind if you don’t listen
your attention isn’t guaranteed

that’s the thief, thief of joy
who you running from
we deleted masterpieces when you've killed the fun
with comparisons
i wanna go have fun, i want to, i want to
so i’ve decided that

whether you’re here or not, i’d still be dancing
whether you're here or not, oh whether you're

it seeps into my room, cus i wanna be strong
but i wait for you at the door, locked from the inside
distance grows the delay of time, 
a warning sign to my world and all i have

so we stand around these wood framed walls
a forest where i stood tall
from here you can almost see it,
the stars upon the ceiling illuminate me
the scars that are still healing, you can never catch me
after all, your eyes try to paint a picture that you've waited for this whole time
you said i need help but you won't help me help myself
you didn't feel what i felt

dancing

Precious time
So long so far
So much ahead of me
This unsettling peace
Could not recall

As the time pass by
I won’t need to try
Faith is not aside
Knowing i’ll seen the light

Everything i haven’t put into text

Zeventien jaar

mono-core

lyrics:
scared to tell
there'll be great repercussions
on people you care about still

there's a knot in my fitted sheet 
from tossing and turning 
when I'm half asleep

under sanitized light
exhaustion it strikes
cause I can't seem to rest when
"I just work well at night"

so the mattress gets stained
and the pillows turn yellow  
the bug in my brain
is fueled by the bellows

that's trapped in my chest
and rattles and rings 
when I take a breath
I can still hear you sing

and there's nothing, there's no one
that I'd rather do
I give it all up
just to run back to you

(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)
(and I knew that you'd be understanding)

Bellows

I ran home cuz I thought I was fired
And man all these joints are tired
And I said “wait” I was waiting for a serenade
Tell me everything about your damn day
Lay me out front if you threw a grenade
So why?
Do I seem distracted to you?
It’s beautiful to lay awake in my eyes

So watch it all be enough for you to take in
Watch it all be enough for you to let in
I tried to face the great divide
It only tired me out

11.6.23

The Great Divide

best work so far thank you for listening <3

panic attacks... ft eric (prod. neverforever)

Gala Unurbatar
June 7, 2000

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dancing

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