Featuring @sendflowrs
Produced by @hellahaunted & @sainttomorrow
Mixed & mastered by @horoshamusic
Logo by Dead & Detached

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


and ive been smoking too much like every day
since fifteen think it's rotting my brain

i got my windows closed but i still hear the rain

i don't like myself anymore

think i've changed

and while you sit there drunk on the side of the pave

do you ever think about those times in the cage

with your friends in the sun oh those times they have changed

now i'm sitting on my own thinking of life on a stage


thinkin of life on a stage

these days i'm alone 

take 3 blunts to the face

spend my days blazed just thinking of life in the states

shoutout jj
i'm tryna record everyday


i think i'm going straight to hell for those two years

if you didnt know im sad you must be new here

cliche dyed hair
i'm a loser

forever screaming on my own at a computer


i'm a loser and I know it
got it tatted on my sleeve just to show how much i own it
stay glued to my computer
writing sad songs and playing first-person shooters


watch me self-destruct

catch me yelling "nerf this"
while i'm rolling up another blunt


i used to do this for fun

now i do this on account of all of my bad luck

i been smoking too much like every day

who would'a thought that these drugs don't really numb all the pain

my eyes stay shut but i still see your face
i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled


i'm still so miserable

still feel unfulfilled

i don't even know what i'm fighting for



Listen on Spotify!

Loser w/ sendflowrs (Prod. caves & Saint Tomorrow)

newmusic, promo, submitplaylist, playlistgenerator, underground, experimentalrap, darkrap, #R3ZK2

long way to be sobere

[Intro]
Came from the cracks where the sunlight fade,
Now we glow like crowns that the pain done made.
Ain’t nobody give a hand, we built that bridge,
Brick by brick, that’s how legends live.

Blood on the path, but we cleaned that scene,
Now every scar shine, royal, supreme.
They tried to break us, but they just sparked dreams,
‘Cause self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

[Verse 1]
Had to grind through storms, no cover, no rest,
Every “no” I heard put fire in my chest.
They laughed when I said I’d reign one day,
Now they study the blueprint I laid.

From ramen noodles to rib-eye plates,
From one pair of shoes to a closet of fate.
I ain’t ashamed of the dirt I’ve seen,
That mud turned me royal, now I walk pristine.

They told us to bow, we learned to fight,
Turned every shadow into our light.
Self-made, that’s God’s design,
Ain’t no crown if you skip the grind.

[Chorus]
We built this with pain and heart,
We carved our thrones from the dark.
Ain’t no handouts, just belief and means,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

We rose from ashes, chased the gleam,
Dream by dream, scheme by scheme.
Our bloodline built on legacy themes,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

[Verse 2]
Every loss taught me what power is,
That peace ain’t given, it’s earned through risk.
We cried, we bled, we broke, we healed,
We turned pain to purpose, that’s how we build.

I seen mamas pray with empty plates,
Still told us, “One day, baby, we’ll be great.”
So I kept faith tighter than the chains I wore,
Now gold hang heavy, but my heart want more.

More respect, more truth, more rise,
More unity in my brothers’ eyes.
‘Cause when we win, we all succeed,
Royalty don’t flex,  it feeds.

[Bridge]
You ever look in the mirror and see a throne?
That’s the spirit of the streets we own.
Ain’t no diamonds that can outshine pain,
But that pain became our royal vein.

We don’t kneel no more, we reign upright,
Built by hunger, fueled by fight.
No fake crowns, this one’s clean,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

[Chorus]
We built this with pain and heart,
We carved our thrones from the dark.
Ain’t no handouts, just belief and means,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

We rose from ashes, chased the gleam,
Dream by dream, scheme by scheme.
Our bloodline built on legacy themes,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

[Verse 3]
Now the young ones look up, say “teach me how,”
I tell ‘em it’s sweat, not luck, not clout.
Stay loyal when the money loud,
‘Cause royalty don’t fake the crown.

We ain’t perfect, we just real,
Our crowns don’t shine, they heal.
For every soul that thought they’re not enough,
You’re royalty if you rise from rough.

Never forget the nights you cried,
That’s the proof you’re still alive.
Every scar, every sleepless scene,
That’s gold, you just ain’t seen.

[Outro]
Now when I walk, I walk with grace,
Built my kingdom from my pain’s embrace.
Ain’t no throne higher than self-belief,
Ain’t no jewel brighter than inner peace.

They can keep they titles, I made mine clean,
From nothing to everything, seen and unseen.
No chains can hold what the soul redeems,
Self-made means we Kingz & Queens.

Self-Made Means We Kingz & Queens

OFFLINE

down the slopes i'm going [prod. offline]

@supachefm @notmorgn

ive been feeling lost through my days
think about the times when i could go and fly away
if they wanna know im alone aint a thing
i stay in my lane getting money been the same shit
she gon get up on me get to show me what i want
i feel like im drowning never wanted nor involved
it feel like I'm costing and you begin for the profit
im not even bugging i just gotta keep it honest
bitches love to run around and do the taunting
im astonished never been the one to
eva fall in im the one who started
who exhausted ima keep on falling
x2

keep on falling
ima keep on falling
you aint even shed skin
why you keep on talking
idek fuck wit you like anyway
ive had better days trapped inside these memories

ima ghost
its unknown
what am i supposed to feel when im alone
its like the pressures on me when I'm home
I'm staying stoned ima die inside the smoke

ima keep on falling
getting money regardless
yungins and we ballin
smokin when i want
bitch i smoke whenever i want
watch the smoke come outta the sun roof

show me what i want (prod. notmorgn)

Written & Performed by: @itsyungvan & @i_x_t_a_i_l_s
Mix: @itsyungvan & @i_x_t_a_i_l_s
Master: @scottysplash
Production: @lilbuckethead
Cover art: @iamdavidkiernan (on twitter)
Shout out @qawikamri & @producedbyaidan for helping me extend the beat and go show love to everyone who helped make this song possible (if ya got some to share) <3


Lyrics-

Yung van:

Said she wanna die with me but that's just a lie 
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I want her back in my life
I said I'm fine
But that's a lie 
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I want her back in my life

Bring me up
Shut me out
You wanna scream baby
I've learned to shout
You wanna ghost
I'll be your Phantom
Like a shadow
I'll follow till the end of 
Bring me up
Shut me out
You wanna scream baby
I've learned to shout
You wanna ghost
I'll be your Phantom
Like a shadow
I'll follow till the end of 
Time
But I don't really care 
Said you had my back then you left me in the air
Flying all alone made me feel like I was scared
I'm drowning in your problems
Baby I can't solve them 

Running away
Running away
Running away
Running away

Said she wanna die with me but that's just a lie 
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I want her back in my life
I said I'm fine
But that's a lie
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I need her back in my life

9TAILS:

says she wanna die with me
but thats just a lie
depression is like a virus
i see that shit in her eyes
shes up alone every night
weed is packed in the pipe
window open at night
smoke blowing by the streetlights

take me over like a virus
anti virus with the heisman
saw the bate no biting
calculate my timing

im out the door before you tell me to go
i had you blocked before i seen what you wrote
i got people to meet i got places to go
and she play the detective like murder she wrote

i dont have time for the games like its pay to play
feel like kobe how i fade away
keep you a bit behind thats screen delay
i know all your tricks no david blaine

u cant make me stress ya
u cant make me stress no
ask me whats been on your mind or else youll never know
we all will eventually die speak up before we go
put your plan back into motion hit me with the blow

tryna bring the heat like a tanning bed
get in line like its wonderland
break it off like a pencil lead

Yung Van:

Said she wanna die with me but that's just a lie 
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I want her back in my life
I said I'm fine
But that's a lie
Depression is like a virus I see that shit in her eyes
She's falling down like a cradle and wondering why I cry
every time that I see her I need her back in my life

Virus w/ 9TAILS (Prod. Aquinas)

My real life.

prod by taylor king 💘

LYRICS:
you my best friend 
and my enemy
i pop one then i pop five 
you my remedy
and i don't know what 
what comes over me
i get fucked up 
my soul ebony

only dream off a bean ya
tryna be up in the scene ya 
(aye) clips limousine ya
why she callin me a feen ya ya
sad faces 
i aint got no heart
cold cases 
i ain't never gettin caught
ya she too basic 
i could never love a thot yuh
too shameless
i aint never give a fuck no

the pillies is silly
but i cannot quit it
woke up in the pital
my demons is winnin
why i'm always sinnin
downin this liquor
drownding myself in this venom 
ya ya ya

(the sample i used is from skins :)

My Best Friend

Prod by @nate2timezz
IG: https://www.instagram.com/nate2timez_/

Cover art by: https://vsco.co/salarino

Lyrics:
dont ever let it kill you what you going through
we all got them same scars but they be out of view
scared and sad and lonely just to name a few
better days are coming this i promise you

they always say its outta sight its outta mind
i say it aint that easy youre wasting your time
in spite of everything know that youll be alright
believe that time can heal you so give it some time

we're all haunted now by these memories inside
and the days go by, watch em pass as i cry
and youll be alright, youll be better some time
yeah just let it fade, youll be good in time

you been feelin dead but your friends dont know
drink too much cuz you out of control
pop them xans now you feel slo-mo
pour that syrup and your life boutta go

got nightmares i been scared nothin less
wake up sweatin know my life is a mess
feel that weight pressin down on my chest
i cant breathe nothin new lemme guess

cold and alone i been lookin for light
staying awake i aint sleep tonight
found something warm in the cold in spite
know youll be good yeah youll be alright

dont ever let it kill you what you going through
we all got them same scars but they be out of view
scared and sad and lonely just to name a few
better days are coming this i promise you

they always say its outta sight its outta mind
i say it aint that easy your wasting your time
in spite of everything know that youll be alright
believe that time can heal you so give it some time

haunted (prod Nate2timez)

prod/recorded/engineered by me

s/o @daine-lauren for guitar inspo <3

how many days have passed?

so many days that passed
couldnt do a fuckin thing
sit in bed, roll a blunt, think of who i need to be

gotta smoke at least a gram a day to keep my mind straight
guilty pleasures, true love
fightin for my heartache

but ur the only one that has my heart
i never meant to break what we had built

i wish i knew the things i have to say
to even up the score and get u to stay with me for another night

but im the only one there is to blame
u dont need to change a fucking thing
baby girl i know it aint the same
but ur in my heart forever

cant even help
but feel like ill fuck it up today
and u dont see
that my minds all over the place

it aint enough
yeah ur hearts for the latter
fucked up
nothing else even matters

lost in my head
lost ur love
im movin on with that

just addin weight 
to my shoulders
straighten out my back

it aint enough
and ur hearts been shattered
fucked up
nothing else even matters

how many times i told you
that the doors right over there?
gave u signs that u ignored
now u pullin out ur hair

yeah its my fault
my fault
dont put no blame upon urself
too far gone
a lost cause
ill keep them pictures on my shelf

cuz ur the only one that has my heart
i never meant to break what we had built
i wish i knew the things id have to say
to even up the score and get you to stay with me for another night

im the only one there is to blame
u dont need to change a fucking thing
ur perfect in every way
i hope that u realize that someday

youre too good for me
and now ur leaving
keep runnin away
til u stop bleedin
ill be here for you
whenever u need it
you can come back to me
if u ever needed

cant even help
but feel like ill fuck it up today
and u dont see
that my minds all over the place

it aint enough
yeah ur hearts for the latter
fucked up
nothing else even matters

haunted (prod Nate2timez)

HKFIFTYONE