"Yo, how u want your podcast network fam?"
"Just fuck my shit up"
"Say no more. That'll be $30K, plus tip."

Download available at: https://www.orfium.com/track/494119/hurt-just-fuck-my-personal-and-professional-reputation-up-lakembra/

Backing track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xkfizay7ak

Lyrics:

I cucked myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on my rape, the only thing that's real

Dick's penis tears a hole. The old familiar sting
Try to shill it all away but I disavowed everything

What have I become, my sweetest Dick?
Every subscriber goes away pretty quick.

And you could have my failed podcast empire of dirt
I will let you down, I will sell bad shirts.

Hurt (Just fuck my personal and professional reputation up)

For Asterios: https://twitter.com/asterios
Thanks to 688as on IRC #thedickshow
Image by: https://twitter.com/morristhetatt

Download available at: https://www.orfium.com/track/494118/kuckold-komedian-lakembra/

Lyrics:
Cuckold, cuckold, cuckold, cuckold,
Cuckold comedian
Asterios. Kokkinos.

Life would be easy if you weren't such a sneaky greek.
An sneaky greek. A sneaky greek.

Kuckold Komedian

A remix in celebration of The Dick Show podcast.

The Dick Show Remixes

You Can Get What You Want

Support a starving autist.  Now subtly accepting donations at www.kendollinhide.com #mymomwarnedmetheresnomoneyinsongsaboutcucksandpenises

Don't walk away run
Don't walk away run
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun
If you hate Dick
Don't walk away run
If you hate bits
Don't walk away run
If you hate tits
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

Listen here buddy, I don't control people
I'm much too busy in the shower pluggin' up my pee hole
#Dicklies he's a meanie and a weasel
All he cares about is entertaining fans that he stole

I want the truth out, yeah that's why I'm doin' this
Dick needs to be punished so that's why I'm suin' his
Friends and co-workers ain't nobody safe
All you dickheads gonna lose your job up in this place

But this can all end, like I told you before
In e-mail 205, paragraph 64
Just thank me for the snacks and oh yeah there's more
I'm gonna need that 50 bucks for the broken door

Don't believe my ex abused me?  Just look and you shall see
She left me with this doosey of a broken door fallacy
As for Sean, he really loves to work for me
I tried to pay him once but he'd rather give his time for free

If you hate goss
Don't walk away run
If you hate Madcucks
Don't walk away run
If you hate Asterios
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

If you hate Peach
Don't walk away run
If you hate Denzel
Don't walk away run
If you hate Sean
Don't walk away run
These wautergate leaks are not very fun

To all the Dickheads out there, guys I hope you're hearin' this
Career flashed before my eyes, near death experience
I hate monkeys, dogs and fries, yes I'm serious!
But even more I hate Dick's lies, I'M SO DELIRIOUS!

Yeah I'm suin' Madcucks, don't ya know he dresses like a slob
Call me Budget Cuts the way I'm goin' after teachers' jobs
Waitin' for my podcast to end? It won't be fuckin' long
My values are incompatible with Rucka Rucka's songs

Keeping track of all these lies is getting tiring
They're supposed to win you over but I think it's backfiring
I can't just quit, it's too soon to be retiring
I wonder if that telemarketing place is still hiring

Don't Walk Away Run

Put this in the lolsuit.

Hear more: patreon.com/hmwh
Cover art by CalloftheDeep:
https://twitter.com/CalloftheDeep

Lyrics:
Here in my car
I am starting to drink
And I'm feeling alright
Hey, is that a dog bite?
In cars

Here in my car
Won't you please take a seat?
I know it's cold on the street
But hey, the rent's cheap
In cars

Here in my car
Where my life is breaking down
Will you blow into this please?
'cause I just drank Listerine
In cars

Here in my car
I feel the wind in my face
I can't eat any chocolate
But liquors A-OK!
In cars

Here in the car
I hope my owner comes back
Because the windows are up
And it's getting quite hot
In cars

Here in this car
I don't have a license
I can't even drive cars
I am just a dog
In a car

Dogs

As heard on Episode 97 of The Dick Show.
Like this? Hear more at patreon.com/hmwh

Beats and production: @samglaze
Lyrics and Vocals: @lakembra
Helped: @aciou

Lyrics:
Every now and then you come across someone online 
Whose palate is a little more refined than the average guy 
Like Digibro see, he's a prince of pederasty, 

A rap god, anime fancier, a connoisseur of cunny
And he's making money off an audience of retards and half-breds
Who can eat lead for all I care

Anime was a mistake and I'm the eraser
God save ya, I can't explain it
No taste these guys, "No tits, no hips, no ass, damn fine" they'd say
I swear that shit is fuckin gayer than prison rape
But at least the gays have the decency to, say I don't know, fuck men their own age?

2D not pig disgusting is what they say
And while it's just a drawing on a page
The thing that makes you cum is that she's underaged

"What about violent video games? They don't make you violent."
Nice try guy but you wanted to fuck kids before you struck upon this shit, So I do not buy it

"It's an outlet for my urges"
Tell me when do we start the purge cause pedofags are a bunch retarded spergs and a  scourge upon this earth

"You're a philistine who runs on feels"
And you're a pedophile who should be killed
Or at least return to the hills, this ain't Kansas faggot so click your heels

===
I'm a big fan of jerking my cock
to illustrations of little girls getting [STOP]
===

"Dick, understand this, I can't quit
I'm up to my dick in A-cup tits
And flat chested kids.
I'm on the front lines of this shit"

"So call me sick, if it'll help you sleep
But I will fight for this, and when they call me creep
I will remind them that they're all next in the crosshair and their loss here 
will mean a loss everywhere."

"It starts with no more Boku No Pico freaks
on the streets, then jokes about minorities
Until it affects everything and everybody, Im sorry, I can't stand idly by while they take away my life
I will fight for pedo rights til I die"

What the fuck is wrong with this guy?
Is he mentally compromised?
Sean its time. Cut his line.
Delete everything and set it all on fire.

"There's nothing inherently wrong with imagining a toddler 
sliding up and down your dong,
As long as they're not really there
It's all in my mind and I'm in the clear"

Your mind is fucked up, 
Now my ears need a good scrub
after listening to you flap your tongue 
about how you like your pussy young.

I'm sorry, a cunny is not honey and you're not a bee, 
actually you're a plague on society
And were it up to me you'd be the first to see a noose and swing from a tree, Digi stop!

===
I'm a big fan of jerking my cock
to illustrations of little girls getting [STOP]
===

The Loli Con

Sadcast fan of the year, hello my name is Tito
Let me tell you why I'm here, listen to me bro
Spread the word, #dicklies but you can trust me though
People only hate me cause they found out I'm a pedo
Met this little honey online, she wants romancing
No need to wine and dine she says "drive over to my mansion"
Couple hours later knock knock pissing my pants when
Some dude opens the door "Have a seat my name's Chris Hansen"

Yes, yes my name is Tito, Tito, Tito
And I'm super trustworthy bro
Plus I babysit for free yo
Just don't tell my friggin' PO

Keep your busty soccer moms, curves I just don't mess with
Unless they've got some kids at home, they have to be flat-chested
Difference between me and Clegg? You'll never catch me restin'
All day I'm burning Dickheads online, I can't be bested
Malls and pools and parks and schools are where I get arrested
Helicopter parents, wasting all my time invested
Vote it up, bit prob. Why? Oh yeah you guessed it
Obsessed with making sure their children never get molested (get a life!)

Yes my name is Tito, Tito, Tito
My fiancé's quite a dumb hoe
For bringing Tito into her home
With her kid who's not very old

Tito, tito, tito, that's me, yo
I pull my van to the side "Hey kid you want a ride?"
You can be my child bride, hope you're fine with pedophilia
Drive across state lines, we'll pass time with Sadcast Media
Love that guy Joe Biden, he's my all-time favorite senator
Shitpost everyday, I'm the most prolific redditor
Don't like what I type? Write a letter to the editor
All my neighbors say I'm the most horrific predator

Dear Mr. Judge, I don't need incarceration
I'll stay at home and listen to my favorite cuck debatin'
Save your taxes dude, I don't want your psychotherapy
I'll volunteer at youth groups then I'll start a children's charity
My girl's a bad madre, she's not very choosey
She's rather risk her kid than be single for a few weeks
Bendejo's always yapping in her ear like
"You know what? You could just find a fat loser who DOESN'T think your kid's hot"

George thinks I'm good people, loves my TBD contributing
Even though I'm evil and got caught CP distributing
He's knows Tito's me though, plays my voicemails all day
Heheing with Ronny 'cause they love Bad Hombre

Yes yes my name it Tito Tito Tito
Honored guest of Maddox's show
Can't believe the judge sent me home
Should've hanged me 'til my neck broke

I insisted that he didn't (even though the record shows my mind is fucking sick and twisted)
They found my stash of discs with pics of nude newborns and infants
They also got my laptop with vids of kid victims in it
George you have to spin it, just pretend you never knew me
Maddox Militia - army of one - it is my duty
I'll fall on my sword so Madcast can continue thriving
Bad Hombre signing off as I crawl back into hiding

Tito Tito Tito

Best Debate My Way

Additional vocals by https://soundcloud.com/the1eggwhite
Cover art by Wormwood: https://twitter.com/JonMugwort

Lyrics: https://pastebin.com/6uZ8ixru
Support HMWH: patreon.com/hmwh

Special Thanks to the following Patreon and NP2 Supporters (June 2020): 

🤠 688as
🥉 a nimble sperg
🍾 Alex Dickens
🍀 Alex O'Kelly
🧀 Ben Cheevers
🍗 BOLDYSPICY!
🍑 Bootyman
🐱 Brady Rainey
🐊 Crocodactyl
🦜 oguebsbczo
🤴 deign
🥕 Dick Dick Dick
🍆 Dick Masterson
🍻 Dillon Bly
🍺 Dmitriy Barsukov
🎲 Dyc3
🎮 Erb Beta Patched
💨 Fred Rush
👾 godmonster
💪 Grant Mooney
🏈 James Gifford
🍝 John Vindiola
🏠 Jonny Holmes
💵 Jordan Sellers
😎 Kellan
🛏️ Kevin Kozan
🍋 Lemonsakee
💣 ML Warren
⛔ No thanks
🥜 No_Nuts
😠 Peeves91
🥊 PunchLaura
🎬 Randy
🌭 Show your dick who's Master, Son.
🍫 Snickelaer
👨 Stupid Sexy Flanders
🦌 Stephen doe
🐶🔨 Teddy Bear Syrup
🎻 Tim Miller
🌊 Thomas C
🦁 The Zoo
🚫 Umpty Madoo
❓ Various
🌽 Willie

LonelyFans (feat. Egg White)

Lyrics
Wake up, jerk off, Haley's, so hot
Perhaps, today, she'll touch, my cock
Sheets slimed, I call, but she, can't talk
That's fine, regroup, tonight, I'll stalk

I'm a star that's why they're all on my hat
Filtered up like a mandatory mask
So efficient, just watch me multi-task
Driving wagons while I delete your chats

Need new groupies to view me stupidly acting fruity
All you haters are soon to be doomed like all my soup be
All these new fans don't know how to count 'em
Trouble with math, I need a tutor
Who needs degrees when you are me?
Damn man, I'm good with computers!

Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yaaa!
I'm a genius and I'm cool as shit
Yaaa!
Like I told that bitch with lovely tits
Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch

Here at Madcast Media (media)
We expose pedophilia (pedophilia)
15 grand for a closet huh? (is dere kids inside???)
Got Tito saving money up (One, two, three...)

Howdy pardurs, I'm Oxmad
Awfully awesome and badass
My poor nephew, that sad sack
Has no soup for his nap sack :(
"Is he okay? Is there a way for us to help you buy him some food?"
Why you're in luck, why don't you just, slide me a buck and name my saloon!
I'm not a cuck, I'm just a man, looking fer ladies looking to smooch
Fallin' in love, palm of my hand, that's where they land, I make 'em swooonnnnn!

Yayuh!
I'm gettin' big I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yayuh!
I'm a coybow and I'm cool as shit
Yayuh!
A handsome feller with a handsome chin
Yayuh!
I'm gettin' big I'm gettin' big on Twitch

E-mails need mailed, stalkers needs stalked
Details compiled on my laptop
Next lawsuit filed strong like Sean's jaw
'Til then guess I'll become a GOD (A Twitch God!)

Hi everybody I'm Bananadox
I think I'm funny and I think you're not
Been a fruit who annoyingly talks...
My whole life, that orange ripped me off!

(mental break + banana joke)

Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch
Yaaa!
This banana is a peeling bitch
Yaaa!
I call this banana on a shtick
Yaaa!
I'm gettin' big, I'm gettin' big on Twitch

Hey there fellas, call me Maddilox <3
Maddox sucks and I'm glad he lost
Spank me hard, make me spill my goss
Daddy Dick gets what daddy wants

My wig is pink and emo, I stole the shit from Vito
MY bath water is primo (the cum of 50 people)
A lady's gotta eat. Oh, to supplement jizz me-als
I'm killing bugs like Rico then shittin' liquid like seagulls

My man butt's a damn slut, needs creampied like graham crust
And jammed up by black thugs who get their crammed hands stuck
Wanna help my channel guys? I have one wish
Call me "dirty slut" and watch me get big on Twitch

(parody of Andre The Giant by Prof)

Big On Twitch

Cover art by Lampblakk: https://twitter.com/Lampblakkk
Special thanks to our $5 Patreon Supporters (Dec 2020):
🤠 688as
🥉 a nimble sperg
💲 Aaron Wentworth
☘️ Alex O'Kelly
🐊 Andre Wynn
🎲 Apex
🍇 Basket of Grapes
🧀 Ben Cheevers
🥜 No_Nuts
🍗 BOLDYSPICY!
🐱 Brady Rainey
🚗 Chris Carley
🌬️ CounterfeitCoof
🍆 Dick Masterson
🍻 Dillon Bly
🍺 Dmitriy Barsukov
🎮 Erb Beta Patched
👊 Fistacorpse
💨 Fred Rush
👾 godmonster
💪 Grant Mooney
🍬 Herbet Sherbertbert
🏈 James Gifford
🍝 John Vindiola
🏠 Jonny Holmes
🛏️ Kevin Kozan
🍋 Lemonsakee
😮 MickeyMitch
⛔ No thanks
😠 Peeves91
🥊 PunchLaura
🎬 Randy
☝️ Sam U
🌭 Show your dick who's Master, Son.
🍫 Snickelaer
🐶Teddy Bear Syrup
🦁 The Zoo
🌊 Thomas C
🦊 Travis
🥾 Trentworth
🚫 Umpty Madoo
🥞 UnemFloyed
🌽 Willie

Lyrics:
One, two, three
Stack 'em up six feet deep
Counting 'em up like sheep
Singing to hide the screams

And I said...

Now do you all hear that sound?
Coming from down underground?
I hear the toll of the bell
It's time to send them to hell

I said E-Girls get the bullet
There really isn't any nice way to put it
You gotta put your foot down sometimes
(Facts) Some brats deserve to die

I said E-Girls get the rope
Sorry guys, you know I tried, it's how it goes
I wish it didn't have to be this way
But some tolls have just gotta be paid (Tell 'em boys!)

I said E-Girls get the bullet
There really isn't any nice way to put it
You gotta put your foot down sometimes
Some brats deserve to die

I said E-Girls get the noose
It don't matter if they're trad or if they're loose
I wish it didn't have to be this way
But some tolls have just gotta be paid, paid, paid

You just line 'em up one by one
No stragglers, don't matter if they're ready or not
We're building a wall out of these fucking thots
And there's a lot more work to do where that came from

And I said...

Who's crying? Bitch, it ain't the time
Save your tears for the ditch where you'll be lying
Suck it up, wipe your eyes and get back in line
It's time for your shower, now get inside

You know it has to be done
You know you've had a good run
You've had your time in the sun
Now suck the end of my gun!

I said E-Girls get the bullet
There really isn't any nice way to put it
You gotta put your foot down sometimes
(Facts) Some brats deserve to die

I said E-Girls get the noose
It don't matter if they're trad or if they're loose
I wish it didn't have to be this way
But some trolls have just gotta get laid (Sing it boys!)

E-Girls get the chair
You really could not pay me to care
I gotta put my foot down this time
(Noice) No more Mr Nice Guy 

I said E-Girls get the blade
Ryujin no ken wo kurae
I wish it didn't have to be this way
But some tolls have just gotta be paid, paid, paid

E-Girls Get The Bullet

Music by @aciou, @zenki-hmwh and @lakembra

Dogs

Hard Men Working Hard

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