not the same w/ love jai (@drmabeats x @michaelharrison)

It's been far too long since I got Teddy on one of my tracks.

I haven't been doing well in regards to my mental health lately, so this song paints a small picture of how I've been feeling inside my head these days.

Lyrics:

(HeyLee)
I jump to a freefall, end it all
Everything that I see seems so small
Everything that I do doesn’t matter
You got my heart going pitter patter 
Bloody spatter, take my hand
Razor blade is my only friend
Things that never seemed to matter
You got my heart going pitter patter

Explain away the reasons I can’t find my way back to the way I used to be before
You changed me, and I don’t know why
I’ll starve myself to see the ribs poking out of stomach like a sore
And I can only bring myself to cry
I don’t see a reason to be here anymore
But reasons lead to treason that I cannot ignore

I jump to a freefall, end it all
Everything that I see seems so small
Everything that I do doesn’t matter
You got my heart going pitter patter 
Bloody spatter, take my hand
Razor blade is my only friend
Things that never seemed to matter
You got my heart going pitter patter

(Teddy)
My health doesn’t matter
I’ve been going too hard
See a blade jump to my skin
It goes “oo la la”
Like “oo la la”
I’m addicted to it
Like “oo na na”
Like “oo na na”
I’m tired of coping the way that I have the last couple of years, um
Starving myself because food disgusts me, I hate the feeling
I hurt myself because you won’t do it, jump from the building
Freefall, heart beats, love is an illness

(HeyLee)
I jump to a freefall, end it all
Everything that I see seems so small
Everything that I do doesn’t matter
You got my heart going pitter patter 
Intrusive thoughts will be my end
Rewind the clock so we can start again
Any of this even matter?
It makes my heart go pitter patter

Pitter Patter! (feat. teddyboi)| prod. shinju x gauge

prod. flesh

i know that i've been giving in
at least i'm trying to live with it inside of my head
are you even listening?
i'm sick of all this dissonance inside of my head

should i be grateful for all the things that you did for me?
or should i be hateful for all the things that you did to me?
i haven't been able to trust a word that you've given me
and i just wish you'd let me forget
no i dont wanna end up like this all the time
no end in sight 
try all you like
i won't be letting it get to me
and i know it's been on your mind
it's been on mine
try all you like
i won't be letting it get to me

and i'd be lying if i said it didnt hurt
it hurts
your words
they tear through my heart
and i'd be lying if i said it ever worked
it burned
we learned  
why cant we move on?

it's okay

support king theta <3 https://soundcloud.com/kingtheta

I’m sick and tired of the game plan
To turn my life around 
I’m not good at reaching out no
So I’ll forfeit everything  just take it all from me just go 

And I use everything I own until it’s 
Beyond repair and I still 
Try to make it work I don’t know why I don’t know why 
It’s like I 
Just can’t accept it struggle 
With every process need some 
Help here and there it’s all I ask it’s all I ask

Cause I’ve exhausted all of my synapses 
No longer knowing how I can combat this

Said that I didn’t make it on time 
I’ve pushed the luck met every deadline 
I’ll push the tree I’ll chop the roots 
There’s nothing left for me to do 
We’ll make it work we always have 
I’ve got your heart and you’ve got my knack  
No stepping stones more like thumb tacks 
It’s not that deep but still fights back it still fights back 

Cause I use everything I own until it’s beyond repair
And I still try to make it work you  call it unfair 
To every new machine I never put it out of misery 
If I let go I fear them missin me these spirits listening 
And I trusted you and I gave it all away 
but I 
I kept one thing
And it’s on me always yeah 
I’ll keep that ring you gave me 
Spin it round on my finger daily 
And you keep that same old smile 
Hope I get to see it for a long while now
I’m not good at reaching out 
Not enough hands in sight not to pull me out 
I’ve exhausted all I’ve exhausted everything 

Said that I didn’t make it on time 
I’ve pushed the luck met every deadline 
I’ll push the tree I’ll chop the roots 
There’s nothing left for me to do 
We’ll make it work we always have 
I’ve got your heart and you’ve got my knack  
No stepping stones more like thumb tacks 
It’s not that deep but still fights back it still fights back

thumb tacks (king theta)

prod. kawaiibeatz

i walk around the issue..
i really kinda miss u
im tryna be who im not, nd it hurts..
that never worked tho,
i was a jerk bro ;/
ill take back what i said!
i dont mean it at all!
and fill my head up with lead!
i hope u know that i-
mean 
this.. ;(
my mind is incompleted 
and my thoughts go one on one-
i cant see me any how else!

(popularreject)

You said you would call back
…
In a minute
… 
Girl I gave you all that 
Now we’re finished 
I’m in a Maybach now I’m sippin 
This is goodbye and good riddance 
… 
I sip Henny 
I get ready
And say good bye my vision 

Good dope all I roll up 
Bitch I’m dope I feel like Yola 
Smoke this dope and bend her over 
Got the force I feel like Yoda 
I got purple in my soda 

Duhh

I got purple in my soda 
In the range and I’m not sober
If it’s foreign rev the motor

Yuhh 
… hahahaa

jerk w/ popularreject

seconds

dreaming of you ft lil booj

dreaming of u ft. lil booj

(prod. michael harrison)

am i the only whos touching you
am i the only whos fucking you
hard to believe the truth from the lies
when all i wanna do is love you

did you fabricate the truth to save me
lying to my face coz this aint what i need 
told me to be okay
im just delusional i know bae

im trying to be okay
and ive been fighting for so long
for so long
for so long
for so long

standing there im vacant
an empty shell a hollow soul
hate myself its dangerous
coz i can end it all i know
and i think is better than me
give u everything u seeking
do you think bout me
when your down on your knees
i know your not praying
giving what you gave to me
i hate to say it 

all these thoughts in my head
who am i to blame
i keep playing these games
over and over again

and can you see me love
coz i want us
overthink is tough
oh i cant stop

for so long
for so long
for so long
for so long x2

compromised (michael harrison)

prod. warheart x 1kurane x darlyybeen

you know im different
my runts got splitted ends
i done jumped off the deep end
i aint got no literals
fuck shit bout liberals
life got difficult
don't know when life got difficult

everytime i open up my chest and talk, i feel bare
and i've heard the screams, cus i've been here..
its not a good feeling, who am i, a villian? 
oo..
who am i kidding?
its not a good feeling
i've been dead, really
i've been home ridden b4, and treated like a-
wh*re,
but it dont compare,
to this..

im sick of walking on EGGSHELLS, or feeling like i can't EXHALE
I'M SORRY I CAN'T STOP THIS, I'M REALLY FUCKING TOXIC
I'LL LOAD UP THE GUN, COCK IT BACK AND UH..
i wish i could! treat me like somebody i didn't know..
i wish i had! some friends that knew me like 2 years ago..
and hell yeah im glad! that i stuck on the road i paved to grow..
what if im still mad? am i satan for not letting go? no..

splitted ends

https://open.spotify.com/album/6XRTgfvcIfdTwsJhSzUVwB?si=-NiSKhDKSU2JF5VjEHmZ1g

really like this one, hope you feel the same <3
prod idly blare 
thanks @vito2300 for help with the mix once again <3

lyrics:
its always lurking
a feeling im not
gifted to learn
how to live through this rot
overcome all my burdens
please force me to stop
please force me to stop

im planting flowers in our garden
watching the pollen pollute my eyes
do you notice i get quiet
i think i need you here tonight
i think i need you here

i could sink in the dirt
feed my life to the worms in the earth
maybe then id be worth something
in your eyes, wouldnt that be nice

im planting flowers in our garden
watching the pollen pollute my eyes
do you notice i get quiet
i think i need you here tonight

do the daises cry
do the roses get jealous
when you're nearby

im planting flowers in our garden
watching the pollen pollute my eyes
do you notice i get quiet
i think i need you here tonight 
x2

*i wish people would take the time, to appreciate the little guy, past year and a half ive been alone, i have not been missed i get what its like, i really really wish people would reach out more, idk be a man right*

friends with the bugs

- The rapper is YungOctobers - The ORIGINAL IS KYRA - no profit was made off of this track.

dreaming of u ft. lil booj

hoepless

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