i’ve been feeling different lately
tryna make sense of the mind that hates me
i follow the orders i’m creating
can’t ruin the flow or my body starts breaking

in the night it’ll catch me up and swallow me away
and i can't fight it off so i let it consume me easily
i wake up and cannot breathe
i’m shaking like i might freeze
there’s no control anxiety
it’s the one controlling me

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

it’s a nightmare
this phobia is eating me alive
and i can’t fight it
don’t call me just emotional since i did not decide this
and don’t remind me
the trigger’s hiding
i know it’s my head
so don’t keep talking whilst i'm dying

i tried everything i learned and nothing seems to give me peace
it’s so cruel to happen when there’s no one there to help me
wish that i could live my life without this dumb anxiety
but it’s found me now, it’s what i know only

phobia [hollowprpl]

Another demoish song lol

Prod: underthemapletree
Mix: me
Voice note: @Rall333

Lyrics: 

lately ive been feeling like myself 
tug of war with my mental health
i dont feel like oh to well
but its fine cause i know i finna dwell

on these thoughts for like oh forever
shit aint happen but never say never
shit aint happen but i feel like a lever
people keep pulling on me like a lever

they say they miss me honestly thats misery
i just think it's history the way they been dissing me
ion even fuck with them i piss on em like pissery
this shit like my message i send it like a missionary

woah-oh

im like a prophet the way im moving off it
pop the ollie rocket i got that like i stocked it 
pop the heelflip on it im moving like an onyx
aint got no wax so i push like bionic
 
yeah i
push like bionicles
robotic flow when i write these chronicles
spit so fire my flow full conical 
99d im hard like im coming close

100 degrees it's hot like im boutta doze off
the way im moving i feel like lara croft
man im sleeping up in the loft
that shit made me fucking cough

yeah it made me so sick
now im pissed off
writing all this so quick
and i feel like i just need to rest now (outside in the sun)
i just need someone to no get pressed now (outside in the sun sun)

in the sun im on a fucking run
im running away from all the problems i face
i love fun
man i miss this shit ion wanna be a disgrace
get the fuck outta my face if you just fill it with hate

it's not like im already busy doing that by myself
i dont need your fucking help

tug of war (under the maple tree)

lyrics

fall in love with me again
wait in my coat while i smoke cigarettes
and plan to watch the sunrise, but fall asleep instead
i want to hold you like i used to
i want to tell you that i love you
we killed the tree and ripped the roots

and for now im no one
for now im no one
for now im no one
for now im no one
now im no one
now im no one
(x2)

i miss those nights 
cuddled up during the winter we're soul tied
my brains succumb to the wither on both sides
like fuck tryna forget her
cuz now im packing my bags
im building the bags under my eyelids
and you're too attatched
and im way too sad for it to be august
and yesterday holds memories that im losing
i dont remember much nowadays
i dont remember much nowadays

fall in love with me again
wait in my coat while i smoke cigarettes
and plan to watch the sunrise, but fall asleep instead
i want to hold you like i used to
i want to tell you that i love you
we killed the tree and ripped the roots

and for now im no one
for now im no one
for now im no one
for now im no one
now im no one
now im no one
(x2)

for now, im no one (p. muzcean)

In My Head (BASS BOOSTED)

lyrics ⬇️ 

its been a lot to bottle up what ive become
ive came to terms with what id done a year ago
but i forgot how we had met and how it crashed and how it burned
you said it would all be worth it in the end maybe wed learn

what i wanted ended faster than i hoped for
its been exhausting my whole memory straight folklore
yea i see dreams along my hall
its been weeks since we last called
maybe i should write it off
i would rather lay than talk

i take anger out on everybody that dont deserve it
but when its wearing off i promise you ill feel like a burden
so when im hurting really bad ill make sure they know im alright 
i did everything i could with what i had i tried fight

but it aint go to plan whenever other thoughts arrived
it made me realize how i wasted all my time

In 2019 i was lost and then i packed my bags im gone
you can’t remind me how i felt unless you slash me with sword
hold tight yea hold tight yea hold tight to me tonight
i have an awful feeling this will be the last time i cry

so if it is please don’t remind me i wont be there tomorrow 
and i regretted when you caught my only shot my only arrow

its only fair tho
i was at my lowest point and i was acting like a scarecrow 
i dont care no

act like you know me like you know how it goes
on the daily
just a microdose 
i think im coming close
please save me


you hate me, i know I been wrong 
im sorry im sorry
full sprint i been on the wrong road
ill hurry ill hurry
hardly what you know you deserve
i wish i had all of that
car crash it hit the curb 
it could be worse-that family okay




yea, way way too quick its a blur
i can’t conjugate i slur
i told my parents im at work- work
think i need a clerk- clerk
before its gets way worse
cuz i can foresee what im talkin bout im jus waitin my turn

my stomach burns -burns
i flip and turn -turn
in my sheets
i cant sleep

hold tight (under the maple tree)

lyrics ⬇️


figurative language



im lonely as often as you’re in my head
thoughts been depleting my every last breath
and i know
last year was cold 
reminds of every time i never told you so

said that i couldnt love you like the other ones in my past
you also told me if you dropped me you would never want me back
did that for a month
now its been minute
used me as crutch
til you left cuz you were livid

cut ties with ur enemies cuz ur trippin i could not
then ill be with my homies til im dead and ima rot
maybe everything you said to me was way wrose than you thought 
way too heavy like an anvil please oh lord just wish me gone

wish me gone
ima leave the same second you push me off
you made dive me off that cliff and i hit the bottom i hit the rocks

wheres the applause
 i thought you wanted me out of the universe up me in the stars
somehow it always feel dark
wish i could tell you that i could restart
but i can’t 
every night you talk to me i feel like you want me to feel like i’m an ant
step over me like the part in the pavement 
i feel like you want me rant


i ran out on everything you tried to fix cuz i couldnt pick up ur hand
watch me go down the list as everything i want just wont go to plan
i roll in the rubble and sticks i know that they can’t understand 
if you gave me one more wish then i would wish that i was them

i cant play pretend
cant go through all this again i know ill get revenge
eventually ill explain to everyone what i did
what i did

you scraped away that memory on skin with 
broken glad
tempted to exempt myself from everything i had

dont remind me of that addiction 
everytime i was there in an instant

now atleast where im at im reminded I exist 
sorry that its killing me i wish that we could live

pushing me and honestly i hate when you persist
but i been here ever forever so i cant even resist
i wish that every night you went out when u been drinking outta line wit all ur friends

switch up the top i don’t wanna slip
im off the bottle i wish i had bliss
i was out fully far in the abyss
if we departed id turn to a man and realize that everything you did was

switch the topic (everest)

honestly never really processed you were gone, but day by day i get closer to accepting it.

Lyrics:

S/M, & NTR, this shit was far from proper love
you know i did some self reflecting and what i felt 
it wasn't lust
oh i been missing you and lately i can't even fill my cup
only upping
higher dosages i hope they fuck me up
don't even look at other women even now at 14 months
you've seeded so deep in my head i feel like i can't even drop
i've written many songs in past tense and i'll prolly write some more
maybe spend my whole life coping bout the girl i wanted more

i guess the chapter closed a while ago it's time to end it off
but i've got fear of letting go and i can't take another loss
i know you'll probably listen in
i know you'll probably hear this song
i'm taking something over nothing cuz your memory is all i got
a couple friends i made since knowing you could vouch
that i wasn't doing well for a while by myself
and even through it all i honest really wish you well
and if you haven't hope you get shit figured out <3

rumination (prod. whyke)

PinnacleDust w/kiddamo (Prod. Dello)

silent_scars

i dont miss the days

Lifted Beyond Time

I think everyone should play an instrument, you don't have to make a living out of it, just sit down and play.

Beat account: @houcibeats