The Upload 35

instrumentation and vocals by me
mix/master by brody @prodbybrody

lyrics:

eyes to the ceiling
really cared, but i couldn't hold the feeling
always falls beneath me
and i always keep it with me
in the back of my head
while it's gleaming

is it what you want?
say it and it's done
not the only one
i go back to
the silence closes my door
i've never left here before

if i could recognize
that its a dream all the time
and the look in my eye
takes me out of this life

maybe hope for next year
and the tracks ive left 
are always near
so take me away this time
forget all of the lies

dreaming

nice guys w/ sace6

Prod. Jake Mitchell, Jkei


Do You Ever Miss Yourself? 

Olympus Projects/glvsshouse 2021

Complicated

Darius King - Spazz 3.0 [Prod. Valious x Malloy]

smile for the camera be nice for your parents
cry on the inside out youre fine inside your mind
i feel inside out i wanna cry it out
but inside of my mind i pretend that im fine
and now i feel inside out i wanna cry it out


i lost myself trying to be a better person
it was never worth it

smile for the camera be nice for your parents
cry on the inside out youre fine inside your mind

i'm too close to my mic i cant hear a thing whatd you say? (huh)
i might lose my fucking mind if i dont try to save a life
i mean i guess i know inside its fucked up i cant let you in my head
i used to paint these pictures now i scream them all instead
pretty reds i'll show you how i bled

smile for the camera be nice for your parents
cry on the inside out youre fine inside your mind
i feel inside out i wanna cry it out
but inside of my mind i pretend that im fine
and now i feel inside out i wanna cry it out

i lost myself trying to be a better person

Smile! (splashgvng)

prod by me

lyrics: 

shes like, “kade why u always gotta lie?” 
im lying cause u make me do it.
last week I saw the story in ur eyes 
tell me could u see mine

flippin through ur pages 
cant say im ever bored 
I got a lot of patience, but I hate bein ignored
ill tell u what im feelin if im up to it 
first u gotta tell me why u aint trustin me

cus i dont got a lot of time for this 
im findin all the pieces ur denyin me 
was this all u wanted from the picture in ur head
u know that im not much, u gon work me till im

dead how I been feelin lately 
in our head how we been dealin baby
im sorry if im complicating 
im not an easy read im sorry baby

but dont take me for fool I need food too 
I get deprived from the feelings that I want from u
what do u want from me I told u that i told the truth 

I told u that. I told u u should know its true. 
u should know it in ur heart I didnt lie to u
and all the times that I did 
u made it the only way out 
u say excuses can be useless
well im on my way now 
yea im on my way out 

shes like “kade do u even cry anymore”
well..
u kinda got it all outta me so its usually jus hard to breathe now

spotify

books

- HYPERTHOUGHTS lyrics -
I ain’t never drop my lighter
I don’t know why my thoughts so hyper
I don’t take L’s imma prize fighter
I Been thru hell now I’m gonna rise higher 

Imma keep my fire hot
Smokin loud just to turn tha silence off 
I drip hard everyday I’m a stylish boss 
But tha hardest thing is dealing with these hyper thoughts … up all night tryna fight p
I ain’t talkin bout no thotties
But If u talkin bags I got cash like bodies
I made myself rich never let this stop me
But these hyper thoughts have really cost me…(they so exhausting)…

Life’s such a slippery slope
I’m Just tryna cope
Then next thing i know I’m at the end of a rope feelin like there’s  no hope
I roll up some dope
Thank god for my smoke
My minds hyperactive a
Sometimes it’s not sink or swim just let yourself float

It’s like ok right now Im good I’m gucci
Holdup jk will someone please shoot me?
Can’t you see how it’s so confusing?
I ain’t gonna let my mind abuse me
Anymore…
I’m more careful what I pour
Scraping less drugs off the floor
I’m just bein honest and this is a promise 
I’m about to run up the score

Doin the work do the chores
Do it big do it more
I got rich I was poor
At my crib you’ll need a tour
I go hard to the core
Now I’m using all these hyper thoughts
To hit more targets than before

hyperthoughts

hyperthoughts (prod. fantom)

LEGEND HAS IT❤️

~2300~

This song is raw and true to the place I was in mentally when I recorded it. A few months ago I left my long-term relationship as well as my home and first attempt at a better life for myself. I returned to New York and lost myself in substances and self-medication. This song came from an evening of blackout substance abuse which was part of an even longer span of time that I do not recollect. When I found this song in my macbook I felt it would be too personal to ever share publicly but as i've grown and overcame these obstacles I decided it would be a necessary part in the process of healing and moving on. This one is self-produced and I don't remember making any of it. Thanks for sharing this with me.

jumpedtoosoon

crucifix (prod. nogap)

prod king theta

lyrics:
While I write this song, I'm officially touching on rock bottom
Trying to right my wrongs, but I still can't acknowledge that I got them
Are we strangers yet again?
These walls are caving in
Be strong and don't you quit
Even though I wish we could drop it to just try
One more time
Want to just lie
Here and die
All I got is this mic

And I ain't saying this shit for no TikTok video views
And I ain't talking my shit on it this time, but I been on the news
Fix our problems with that new red lingerie
Thought this time was different but it's all the same
Your bad premonitions coming to life
And back then I couldn't picture tonight
But here we are

While I write this song I'm officially saying that I don't give a fuck
And yeah, I bite my tongue but I'm constantly deprecating and giving up
Will I ever leave my shell?
Will I die behind a cell?
A danger to myself
But you know I'll never let anyone hurt you
Yeah you know I'll never let anyone in between
I been pouring drugs in this cup since I was a teen
I'm gone put the blade to my face like it's Halloween
They gone sing along to my songs but don't know the meaning
Ask me why I said what I said but I didn't mean it
I been overdoing, abusing it, I been geeking
But I'll be okay
They told me make the same shit I did in the old days
They wanted six in the morning when I get on stage
But they still flick and record it if this shit don't play
Now I'm finally up
I'm still in the dumps
I know it's my year but I started it in the cuffs

While I write this song, I'm officially touching on rock bottom
Trying to right my wrongs, but I still can't acknowledge that I got them
Are we strangers yet again?
These walls are caving in
Be strong and don't you quit
Even though I wish we could drop it to just try
One more time
Want to just lie
Here and die
All I got is this mic

Its never been enough

I'll never be enough

I'll never be in love again

No, no, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no
Never be in love

Never be in love
Fuck

STRANGERS AGAIN

lyrics

you wanna talk you got something to say?
baby i made u
baby i made u
baby i made u

living my life and your feeling someway
somethings never change

baby i know spot, you'll see the stars 
might get hella crossed and take it far

are you somewhat love struck baby
love struck baby
she says she's got dust in her eyes
but it's just the energy and where you place it 

dipping, don't gotta use force
yet she moving like we live in space
i'm moving 'till i hit record
you should see the look on her face

all night 
all night long
she wanna fight 
i wanna vibe to the same fucking songs

you know time change's baby you can look at yourself the same
'coz it just brings pain
and i just feel hate

i'm on green 
i'm on oil
got my own kind of lean 
got my states that i know from my own memories

she say's no you cant go 
i, i, i don't know 
i got plans gotta go 
she said, slow down

fine, coming home 
she said these nights i turn stone
she said lie between my thighs your my fire when it's cold

but she can't do this no more it burns right through to her core
i just know who you are
i just know who you are

look at my waves i'm the talk of the town
future on lock, i still live in the now
chase everyday yeah i'm hitting the ground
if you get close you might see what i've found

feeling you
take the pain and save you yeah i'm willing to 

i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know who you think you a-

i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know
i don't know who you think you are

made u

made u (jabarionthebeat)

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/4EQQyQ7atkYvguKXe0btNi?si=19bb32bc290941eb
prod by - @prodcxrter
LYRICS:
all the ghosts and demons that haunt my past
all the doubts and people i thought would last
renounce my meaning from something sad 
turn it into energy and keep myself on track

turn your head girl
you know you were special 
but you let your own self go
falling into that black hole

the silence was the worst thing
a wall that's built from suffering 
you couldn't see the best things 
hidden in your death wings


build yourself up then see it come crashing down 
take a pill to drain out all of the sound 
tell me is this real
fighting thoughts are screaming out
life's so different without you around 

Ey
wanna know how fucked up this shit is?
she told me was none of my buinienss
i let her have all her wishes 
taking trips to his id witness 
make me feel like i'm that guy in the back of the fucking picture 
call your phone when i'm alone when i know he's fucking wid cha 

made me feel like i'm the crazy one 
you ain't checkin on your phone 
yeah i knew there's something wrong 
but you told me i was wrong 

now my mind doing spirals  
stomach goes to tight ropes 
we fallin into black holes

Black Hole (prod. Cxrter)

Fmoig @itzplanett and @montaeboi shout out too @psyk0tc breaking the cosmos coming soon ✨

hyperthoughts (prod. fantom)

STARINTHESKY

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aquariiius☁️

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