Thought You Up was originally written years ago, at the time inspired by the illusions we so often willingly impose on ourselves and others, only to get disappointed when the reality breaks through. Then in 2023 it materialized into something more else entirely and ended up being a bit of a fun experiment, where pop meets musical theater with a sprinkle of contemporary. There isn't much else that can be added to explain or describe it - it really speaks for itself. 

Just one recommendation: Do listen to it in the headphones/earphones, as it was infused with some satisfyingly enjoyable spacial audio effects!

Lyrics:

Do I love you? No, but I used to
Do I miss you? Yes, but it's not what you do
It's over, you're gone, nothing is left
I'm over, I smile again, I'm no longer dead

I thought you up, I invented it all
'Cause I never loved the way you truly were
I had a picture in my head
I saw just what I wanted to
You were not the One - my reasoning said
But I kept imposing that lie on you
I just kept projecting all that lie on you

It hurts, it burns, it destroys me
But I live in this lie of my own will
It's something that I cannot quite resist
So say it, speak up, condemn me of being a masochist

I thought you up, I invented it all
'Cause I never loved the way you truly were
I had a picture in my head
I saw just what I wanted to
You were not the One - my reasoning said
But I kept imposing that lie on you
I just kept projecting all that lie on you

When I see you my life fills with sense
Or at least I force myself to feel so intense
I need to feel something, so I lie
'Cause that pain when I don't see you
it reminds me of you, and it keeps me alive

I thought you up, I invented it all
'Cause I never loved the way you truly were
I had a picture in my head
I saw just what I wanted to
You were not the One - my reasoning said
But I kept imposing that lie on you
I just kept projecting all that lie on you

You said that you were forced 
Into an impossible choice
But in the end you made it
I never asked you to choose
You forced that choice on you
So now don’t you blame me
And I still can’t believe that you did what you did
Left me cry in the bathroom alone
Bathroom cry’s a cliche but all I can say 
Before you I didn’t know betrayal at all

I thought you up, I invented it all
'Cause I never loved the way you truly were
I had a picture in my head
I saw just what I wanted to
You were not the One - my reasoning said
But I kept imposing that lie on you
I just kept projecting all that lie on you

Thought You Up

IlanaKovalle

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