MHIE

free download: https://tidecruz.bandcamp.com/album/nothing-is-real-part-xxi
so sorry for the delay. ive spent the last 7 months writing this album, in between all the ambient singles/albums. i hope for any listeners of the "nothing is real" albums, it is worth the wait. on a very personal note, these albums are the only thing that brings me self worth. i am deeply impacted and thankful some of my ambient songs have connected with you all, in particular "i was only temporary". however, despite their impact on social media, i personally do not feel any accomplishment when writing ambient. as many long time listeners of the "nothing is real" project have mentioned, the simple ambient songs are in essence, just an outro of a "nothing is real" song. i too share this sentiment. i think i am capable of making a lot more emotionally impactful music, not just for others, but as means of helping myself. i struggle with feeling adequate, and because of my events in my life it has become of my personality to want to prove to myself, before anyone else, that i can do something great, even if there is nobody around to see it. even for years and years before the viral song "i was only temporary", these "nothing is real" albums we're written and released one after another with little to no support, or viewership. i hope that, in my efforts to prove to myself that i can make something truly one-of-a-kind, and original, that it will inspire people to not copy others, and find their own sound. i think alot of people, with a platform have a similar message about wanting to "make the world a better place". i think this is a good message of course, i just would like for anyone reading this to know, that my message is a bit more specific. with the  "nothing is real" series, i want to share that, in this world today, i think there are so many fake things, people, friends, etc. i do not want to inspire people to copy what i do, or anyone else. i want to release these albums and hopefully make people say "wow, this is so much effort, and it does not sound like anything i have ever heard! maybe i should not try to keep up with trends, or other people, or let them make me feel inadequacy any longer. this music inspires me to do my own thing, and master it, and make something unique and original that can tell my own personal story". i think individualism is being lost today, in a world that prioritizes followers, and followings. i want to leave behind something that will inspire others to look within themselves, and find approval in their own ideas, instead of constantly looking to imitate what already exists. i think the next most wonderful and beautiful thing that will help a lot of people, is lying in wait inside one of you, and to find it, i hope whatever i have done may help people become introspective enough to dig it up, and share with all of us. anyways, thanks for listening and reading all this. <3 - mhie

nothing is real, part XXI

download

play this when i can’t sleep

free download: https://tidecruz.bandcamp.com/album/nothing-is-real-part-xxi
music video: https://youtu.be/lRf86L7MYLU
so sorry for the delay. ive spent the last 7 months writing this album, in between all the ambient singles/albums. i hope for any listeners of the "nothing is real" albums, it is worth the wait. on a very personal note, these albums are the only thing that brings me self worth. i am deeply impacted and thankful some of my ambient songs have connected with you all, in particular "i was only temporary". however, despite their impact on social media, i personally do not feel any accomplishment when writing ambient. as many long time listeners of the "nothing is real" project have mentioned, the simple ambient songs are in essence, just an outro of a "nothing is real" song. i too share this sentiment. i think i am capable of making a lot more emotionally impactful music, not just for others, but as means of helping myself. i struggle with feeling adequate, and because of my events in my life it has become of my personality to want to prove to myself, before anyone else, that i can do something great, even if there is nobody around to see it. even for years and years before the viral song "i was only temporary", these "nothing is real" albums we're written and released one after another with little to no support, or viewership. i hope that, in my efforts to prove to myself that i can make something truly one-of-a-kind, and original, that it will inspire people to not copy others, and find their own sound. i think alot of people, with a platform have a similar message about wanting to "make the world a better place". i think this is a good message of course, i just would like for anyone reading this to know, that my message is a bit more specific. with the  "nothing is real" series, i want to share that, in this world today, i think there are so many fake things, people, friends, etc. i do not want to inspire people to copy what i do, or anyone else. i want to release these albums and hopefully make people say "wow, this is so much effort, and it does not sound like anything i have ever heard! maybe i should not try to keep up with trends, or other people, or let them make me feel inadequacy any longer. this music inspires me to do my own thing, and master it, and make something unique and original that can tell my own personal story". i think individualism is being lost today, in a world that prioritizes followers, and followings. i want to leave behind something that will inspire others to look within themselves, and find approval in their own ideas, instead of constantly looking to imitate what already exists. i think the next most wonderful and beautiful thing that will help a lot of people, is lying in wait inside one of you, and to find it, i hope whatever i have done may help people become introspective enough to dig it up, and share with all of us. anyways, thanks for listening and reading all this. <3 - mhie

music video

we’re all we've got

ambient playlist

picture of you

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my playlist here
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy

playlist

i wish i was special

i wish i was special (slowed)

from one, many

is this it?

music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9MqrqqeeUI

falling 4 u

best songs(playlist)

rot (sped up)

just another ambient song. if you want to hear my music with alot more to it, please check out the 21 different "nothing is real" albums <3
https://soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/the-nothings

my best playlist

everything would have been different

no one wants to be themselves

loss of self

music video: https://youtu.be/T60fvfrXa3g
OLD song from october 29, 2022.
lyrics:
you're a mystery to me, to me
the way you see right thru me
two of you, and one of me..
my head is so so so empty
two of you, and one of me..
who am i suppose to be?

i couldn't not kiss you if tried,
im your "one and only"
acknowledge me please, im RIGHT here..
its just.. me...

mystery

nothing is real, part 21.1

my head is empty

all songs like this

shadow of my former self

this song was written during treatment in a particularly bad time. right now things are worse, but this was different. whenever i get new lesions in my brain, they attempt to close them using a powerful steroid called "prednisone". no, not like steroids body builders use, these target cuts in my brain that form and essentially singe them closed. after 30+ lesions i stopped counting them and stopped asking. i don't even want to know how trashed my brain is at this point. but anyways, they give me a very high dose of this. usually 1250mg. all i can really say is, it feels like you just drank 10 cups and coffee and a couple redbulls in one sitting. it feels like your blood is made of battery acid. its pretty much impossible to sleep, and i have to take these dosages for several days. sometimes for 25 days straight, at 25 pills a day gradually reducing the dosage by 1 pill a day. anyways. in these times, my insomnia becomes much worse. i already cannot sleep, but during these treatments sleep is out of the question. ill go a bit insane from sleep deprivation. in these times im looking so desperately for a sense of calm. a sense of peace or serenity. all i could really do is try to make a calm or beautiful sounding song to give myself something. not something id already made, but just exactly what i needed to hear at that time, and i guess this was that song. i never released this one, but things have been especially bad lately again, and i heard this track again and realized it helps me just as much now as it did then. maybe its time to share it, and maybe someone out there will feel the peace i do, when listening <3 big love to you all. thank you for reading, and listening .

nothing is real, part XVI

album

prednisone song

easier, is not always better.

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my playlist here
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy

its just easier to be alone

instagram

who will save us

below the links is a long write up about this song. thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my playlist here
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy
about this song: i’ve felt that ambient has been very stale for a long time now. i never wanted to start making ambient music, but it felt like the only chance to get out there. my heart will always be in my “nothing is real” albums, and i can’t thank enough those of you that have begun to listen to them. i’m glad that sort of, simplifying my music - to ambient - ended up being how i came to know you all with “i was only temporary”, and was able to meet you all, but i think it’s time to expand this genre for myself, for my sanity! when i make simple ambient songs for me it feels like im shackling myself to a bunch of rules and restrictions. while i understand that simple music is often best for a lot of people, and i very much appreciate the way these simple calm songs can help others and myself, ive been trying to think of a way to bring just some of the complexities or experimental nature of “nothing is real” over. ambient used to just be sort of a small component of nothing is real, like a base layer, and often at the end of a 5 or 7, or sometimes even 9 minute long nothing is real song, i would try to sort of attach an extra ambient piece of music to the end of the song. not always ambient, just whatever felt right. 
i really liked doing acoustic versions of a song built right in to the song itself, so i think its time to bring this NIR idea to my ambient. i dont see the point in releasing 2 separate songs. to me just like many many times through the 21 “nothing is real” albums, i say.. “we’re already here listening to the song, just put the acoustic version in this song too!!l i’m excited to explore this concept in my ambient now too, and not just the NIR series, and i hope you guys will find it as refreshing as it is for me. it sort of helps me feel better about making simple music that a lot of you enjoy, when personally my heart will always be with making those really complex nir songs !! anyways if you read this far, thanks so much. and if you have listened to any of the NIR albums, i wish i could shake your hand and tell you how much it means to me.

i (don't) deserve forgiveness

when i'm a ghost
i'll follow you everywhere
when you need me the most
i'll already be there

MHIE

Syrety Wexoth