[lyrics]

it's a dark night and I'm always feeling hollow
staring at my ceiling I don't wanna see tomorrow
still do tho now I'm getting back up again 
kinda fucking hate it I don't wanna dap u again 
x2

everybody fucking lame now
sticking to my dolo you can always just count me out 
never wanna talk I don't wanna have a conversation
Everybody sus and acting funny just an observation 
I'd rather deal with myself
still a fucking mess but I don't want any help
drowning in my thoughts and I can't a breath
gonna let the void just rot my mind and meet my death

Set it up myself cause it's all my fault 
If I jump from this cliff how long will I fall?
How long will I fall
If I jump from this cliff how long will I fall

mind still numb but I never wanna feel shit
always agitated I don't wanna deal with shit
dodging all these talks I don't wanna reply
choked up feeling anxiety make me wanna die
they be like what's good wassup how you been
But I don't say how I been I just say I'm fine
Kinda crazy how my source of happiness is gone
been a couple years now I'm just a ticking time bomb

Set it up myself cause it's all my fault 
If I jump from this cliff how long will I fall?
How long will I fall
If I jump from this cliff how long will I fall

count me out [prod. eric godlow]

Soscared [DEMO]

xddd

Just Monika

FADING W/ BABYT33TH [PROD. GRAYSKIES]

FUCKED

let's hold hands

Please Come Home..

BURNT DIARY (FEAT. LIL PEEP & KAIYKO) [PROD. OMENXIII]

where do I redeem these clout tokens?

LOSER [PROD. TEC]

stuck in the willows w/ wraith

Spotify

stay away pls w/ 1800entity [prod. yungjza]

can't feel shit [prod. yungjza]

i got bands in my pocket but that shits not enough
i got bands in my pocket but i just want love
i cant feel a thing, am i going insane
and my body turning cold cause everybodys the same
(x2)

i hardly ever eat, all i do is sleep
i just fell for a girl i think im in too deep
and its night time, and i wanna be in bed
but here i am at work with another cigarette
i just bought a couple packs and theyre already gone
and i hate my fucking self i dont know where i belong
im so sorry im so sad but this is how i feel
all this paranoia in my bed im not sure what is real

im too scared to call my mom
im too scared to text my friends
im too scared to live another day
i want this shit to end
(x2)

i got bands in my pocket but that shits not enough
i got bands in my pocket but i just want love
i cant feel a thing, am i going insane
and my body turning cold cause everybodys the same
(x2)

they dont understand, i dont think they ever will
i dont wanna turn to pill cause i dont think that itll heal
everything i feel, i just wanna feel okay
but i still feel the fucking same every single day
i dont think they know, and theyll never know
always feeling tired and im always feeling slow
i just slept all day and now its time for a nap
if i could leave the earth just know im never coming back

im too scared to call my mom
im too scared to text my friends
im too scared to live another day
i want this shit to end
(x2)

i got bands in my pocket but that shits not enough
i got bands in my pocket but i just want love
i cant feel a thing, am i going insane
and my body turning cold cause everybodys the same
(x2)

they only care when somethings wrong

@demxntia

produced by myself & demxntia.

[lyrics]

i cant find myself, am i stuck in hell 
just an endless wave of thoughts i think i need help
thoughts are coming in, i cant seem to move
and im running out breath im running out of room

i got shivers down my spine i can feel it in my bones
i got water in my eyes i hope that i will never feel alone again
in the end, im just lost in the depths
i got a headache coming up and im just dying in my bed
in the course of living im not sure on why im here
i got my brothers in the cut and no one else is coming near
run it all back and i still feel dead
two steps back and its all in my head
demons in my face and i cant see shit
target on my face and i feel that shit

i cant find myself, am i stuck in hell 
just an endless wave of thoughts i think i need help
thoughts are coming in, i cant seem to move
and im running out breath im running out of room

(demxntia)
whats the point in even trying anymore
when im feeling just the same as before
got my bands up flexed and my brothers by my side
but it doesnt help the fact that i still wanna die
but i dont give a fuck anymore
about the demons that are knocking on my door
yeah ima fake til i make it and my life is for the taking
i dont care about a thing anymore

i cant find myself, am i stuck in hell 
just an endless wave of thoughts i think i need help
thoughts are coming in, i cant seem to move
and im running out breath im running out of room

all for what w/ demxntia

@twotwntytwo
prod. @sorrow_bringer

[lyrics]

i remember in the past when we lost it all
gotten to the point we didnt care if our bodies fall
night time outside and i still think
about every wrong i ever did then i go to sleep
you know you know that ill panic ill go
cause im scared of everything in front of me because its all unknown
im killing all these memories because they make me wanna die
im killing everything around me because they make me wanna cry

in the end i dont know whats wrong
in my grave ill go see you so long
(x2)

(two:22)
demons take my heart,
fly back for round two
my love surrounds you,
im so glad i found you
bye and farewell,
threw it on the shelf
these feelings never tell,
i got your route to hell

in the end i dont know whats wrong
in my grave ill go see you so long
(x2)

in my grave w/ two:22 [prod. sorrow bringer]

[lyrics]

dying by the second I need more time
my skin is so cold I know 
everybody's happy I'm not
my heart is so froze I'll go
(x2)

I can feel myself
slipping away
and I can see myself in an early grave 
all the problems inside my head they are crushing 
all the bad thoughts are leaving they are rushing 
all these demons wanna go
haunting past I see a ghost
when I sleep I still see you
and I just wanna go
fight myself I'm losing 
burn a bridge I'm choosing
leave again and that's my fault 
and I'm moving 

friendships idle thoughts
relationships broken hearts
people close I push away
solitude is where I stay
(x2)

dying by the second I need more time
my skin is so cold I know
everybody's happy I'm not
my heart is so froze I'll go
(x2)

I dont really you to go but I wanna leave 
I am scared of the unknown something's wrong with me 
I'm sorry if message you and then I'm ghost for three days
I'm having inner problems and it makes me wanna go away 
often times I wanna cry often times I cannot breathe
dealing with anxiety is a pain can it leave me 
cannot run from shit even in my dreams
seeing people gone from my life it just makes me bleed 

friendships idle thoughts
relationships broken hearts
people close I push away
solitude is where I stay
(x2)

dying by the second

instrumental: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITnxlJt5ZVE

[lyrics]

i found the time that i left
i found the time, i dont know where u go
i dont know where u go

racking up assumptions baby just ask me
lets leave all the lies right behind me
we can go far away
baby is it too late..?
who am i kidding
im the one thats too late
pushed you away, i was so scared
little did i know u were always right there
im a fucking idiot, im a goner
so stupid, now i lost her

doing this all alone, ill make it
you were all alone, and you made it
and im miserable and i know its my fault
going day by day and im dying
wanna save myself and im trying
fixing these problems that im late on fixing
yelling at myself cause all my answers missing
drowning in the poison that i gave you
wonder if its easier if i hate you..?
i dont know why i would tho
youre never in the wrong but i was tho
now im stuck here, and im froze
and i really wish that i didnt go..

if u hear this im sorry

prod. @flwrs

[lyrics]

you kept me safe
you kept me warm
then on that day
you went away
you have a good heart but youre angry
and you have the right to be
people hurt you a lot but youre guarding it tho
yet you still fucked me over

you left me here all alone
you left me here by myself
you came back then you left alone
but now i dont know who i should trust
(x3)

throat closed i dont know i think im losing my shit
falling inside of the pit
i think thats what insane is
my emotions get the best of me
im dying inside
run and I hide
run and i hide
block out the people even you
now its myself but you should be here too
i ran
my fault
you hurt
,my loss

I left you alone
I left you by yourself
and i came back then I left again
and Im sorry you dont know who to trust
(x3)

she said I said [prod. flwrs]

manga for cover art: misu misou

[lyrics]
everything hurts but i gotta keep it moving
dying everyday and i dont know what im doing
days go by never see the sunset
its always night fall wonder am i dead yet?
cant catch a breathe
now i wanna die
balling up a fist
i just wanna feel alive
sick of everybody that wanna be sad
wanna disappear and ill never come back

anxiety clutching my chest
freaking out im just doing my best
paranoid i dont think this is real
confused i dont know how to feel

same dreams same nightmares
dead nights and youre right there
same tears same headaches
dead body so why i feel this heartache?
(x2)

everything hurts and its only getting worse
miss the days that i didnt even feel hurt
but its all gone why do i go recollect?
ima go and snap my neck from reading all these fucking texts
self destructive
its my fault
my head that im stuck in i cant call
but i hope youre doing alright 
can i see you one last time?

anxiety clutching my chest
freaking out im just doing my best
paranoid i dont think this is real
confused i dont know how to feel

same dreams same nightmares
dead nights and youre right there
same tears same headaches
dead body so why i feel this heartache?
(x4)

too many headaches

manga for cover art: jinrou game: beast side

[lyrics]

it's so loud when I'm alone
but the thing is that I'm never talking
everywhere I go and it never feels like home
pass by the ghost thats always stalking
confronting my demons just to get left on seen
feeling dead inside my life it's like I'm stuck in between
I don't wanna give up but I'm hurting 
staring in the mirror but I'm there still searching 

time goes by and it's going faster
tryna stay alive but I'm getting sadder
and I don't wanna have any regrets
life goes by like my cigarette
(X2)

waking up and I feel like I'm dying 
always disappointed I'm so sick of trying 
everyone is smiling but I'm not 
I'll just stay inside my room and rot
okay
not a good person like everyone thinks 
hating everything until the moment that I sleep
walking with a frown and nothing but a dead stare 
hate to break it to you but I honestly don't care 

time goes by and it's going faster
tryna stay alive but I'm getting sadder
and I don't wanna have any regrets
life goes by like my cigarette
(X2)

monsters dont have reflections

@xcelestia

manga for cover art: jinrou game

[lyrics]
feeling miserable today
same thing as yesterday
dealing with this shit like it's clock work and I can't wait to finally go away 
another 24 another headache
another 7 days I don't wanna be awake
take me to the gallows and I'll hang with the trees
you can throw me to the birds so I can find peace
never ending nightmares on my mind 
I don't really wanna waste my time 
been there done that I don't wanna go back 
I just wanna fix my fucking life 
dealing with my problems you don't know
walking down this road and I'm all alone 
everything's dark and I can't see shit
I just really hope that my life ends quick 

baby it's true
baby it's true
everything I feel
baby it's true
(X2)

[celestia]
trying to taste little bits of heaven 
i felt it in my body
time to reassure the damage 
this is how it was before you met them
so insecure oh caring is a damn chore baby
this is how our lives are shaped
just give it one more day 
times just been slow lately
this is enough
this is enough
i'm driving so fast
there is no looking back
you act like there was a past 
this is enough 
this is enough

still searching w/ celestia

re-uploaded from the beginning of june, i accidentally deleted a week later but this is one of my fav songs so ya

manga for cover: jinrou game beast side

[lyrics]
phantom in the moonlight
fixated shadows eye adjust am i alright?
silhouette reside in the doorway
lungs hurt eyes sore stuck for the shadow play

i cannot feel my sorrows
numb again i dont wanna see tomorrow
i dont know everything seems wrong
my days are getting shorter but they seem long
i dont really wanna die today
everybody does but i dont feel that way
cant move, but im okay 
i know, the moment just moves slow

phantom in the moonlight
fixated shadows eye adjust am i alright?
silhouette reside in the doorway
lungs hurt eyes sore stuck for the shadow play

room slow motion heart pacing fast
tryna scream for help even if its just a gasp
i dont think anyones gonna be there
laying by myself but i know that theres something there
another freakout another nightmare
reaching for my phone but i know that youre not there
cant breathe, but im okay
i know, the moment just moves slow

phantom in the moonlight
fixated shadows eye adjust am i alright?
silhouette reside in the doorway
lungs hurt eyes sore stuck for the shadow play
(x2)

sleep paralysis

manga for cover: oyasumi punpun

[lyrics]

run up in yo house got the cannon with the beam
toolie by my whip cock the hammer let it breath
clip size extended fuck a drummer this ain't band class
watch me hit a lick this ain't porn I'm banging on yo ass
team out the cut whiplash for a dead bitch
pistolwhipping in ya sleep goodnight GG oyasumi
vision black and white but you know this ain't no manga panel
flipping through ya shit I keep it moving fuck a tv channel

one shot all it takes to end ya fucking life
360 no scope I don't even need a knife
sandman shit I just think you need a dirt nap
uninstall your software cause u never even fucking snap
go too hard fuck I think I heard my wrist break
quang Tran shit fuck your life this is my twist my take 
aye my chopper gay I'm moving with a rainbow charm
yuh im in the cut im setting off the car alarms

oyasumi

prod. @demxntia

[lyrics]

im right here but youre still so far
through the looking glass youre just a fallen star
ill be here when you come back
even when my whole worlds black
(x2)

i know that youre there but youre never around
been too long and i wonder will you ever be found?
wander through the void when i first wake up
sick of everybody and the space theyre taking up
night time hollowed out got me moving slow
static on the screen just another show
error, nightmare i dont like the terror
been going on forever its whatever
i just wanna find you

im right here but youre still so far
through the looking glass youre just a fallen star
ill be here when you come back
even when my whole worlds black
(x2)

passed out again with some dreams of you
and i know that you hate it but shit me too
and i know that youre worried and i know that you care
everything is stagnant and youre still not there
just another movie with a bad sequel
im the reoccurring dream that doesnt make sense
always good intentions never feel evil
just a reoccurring cycle and i want it to end

im right here but youre still so far
through the looking glass youre just a fallen star
ill be here when you come back
even when my whole worlds black
(x2)

gg i guess [prod. demxntia]

w/ @leorinda
mastered by @demxntia

[lyrics]
(pageant queen)

i never asked for this
i never asked for death
you came into my life quick
and i dont wanna want you here im about to dip
i dont know you, why are you here?
can you go away? please dont come near
guess ur kinda cute, why you so sad?
is it my fault? i dont really get that

one week left, i dont wanna spend it here with you
one week left, i dont think i wanna spend it with you

(leorinda)
don't wanna die like this
my life's been loneliness
since the day i saw the light
one chance to make things right
it's no use cos i'm stuck with u
but i won't take the pain
steer clear, cos i won't save u

(pageantqueen)
sorry for ur pain and im sorry for ur loss
but youll always have me in case you forgot
i dont wanna die you dont wanna die
but one gotta die tonight lets decide
i dont wanna see you suffer again
and im sorry this has to end
youll take the fall and ill take it all
the pain the suffering without you 

one week left, i just wanna spend it here with you
one week left, i just wanna spend it with you

(leorinda)
i never knew how to feel 'til i found u
u broke my fall, i learned my truth
and i can't save u
but i'm fine like this because i met u
i'll keep this last piece of u with me forever

half and half w/ leorinda

mastered by @demxntia

[lyrics]

everything is dark and im roaming without a heart and im running out of time and i cant even see the light
can you help me?
can anybody help me?
(x2)

tired all the time i dont wanna do this again
everybody fine but im waiting for it to end
i know im not the best person
i know why im always hurting
self destructive acts but its my fault
i been always waiting its my downfall
kinda look like im just a masochist
i dont wanna wake up after this

can this all just end? (x2)

everything is dark and im roaming without a heart and im running out of time and i cant even see the light
can you help me?
can anybody help me?
(x2)

i just drank some alcohol cause im fucked up
i be doing it all the time cause im fucked up
drinking away all my sorrows
if i go to sleep i dont wanna see tomorrow
everything is faded colors all i see is gray
i dont really care i never feel okay
motion blur toggled on my sight
wish i was kidding but i hate my life

can this all just end? (x2)

everything is dark and im roaming without a heart and im running out of time and i cant even see the light
can you help me?
can anybody help me?
(x2)

drowning myself

teemo

prod. @demxntia

[lyrics]

i could walk a thousand steps under the sea
deep void pitch black i dont ever get sleep
stay haunted, livin a nightmare
blade in the tuck dont give a fuck i dont fight fair
(x2)

i dont even know where i be going broe
everybody toe to toe cause everybodys moving slow
and everybody wanna fuck up everything i see
cause everything i see is always fucked up and then they see
"i just wanna see how u doing now"
well i dont wanna fucking tell u bitch
"why you sound like you always down?"
can i get a fucking breather quick?

i could walk a thousand steps under the sea
deep void pitch black i dont ever get sleep
stay haunted, livin a nightmare
blade in the tuck dont give a fuck i dont fight fair
(x2)

another day everything is different
everybody stay the same but everybody moving different
i be on the ground but they be up in the clouds
and i be telling the truth but im just bringing them down
posted in my room getting drunk again drunk again
and i dont give a fuck cause i wanna get fucked up again
fucking hate this shit i dont think i wanna do it broe
kinda wanna quit whats the move whats my motive tho

Popular tracks by pageant queen