UK Songwriter Forum - February 2021

Sedda's Top Muse Songwriter's Songs of 2021

Verse 1:
How do I find myself in these situations?
Sunday morning. With no shoes. In a Budapest police station,
You may ask - how the hell did I get here?
Rewind two days to that 6am Ryanair....
14 grown men on a plane. 
Off to Hungary, where badness reigns
Start early.  Airport bar by 5.
Now we're 3 pints deep, the sun's yet to rise,
Its Martin Cassidy's stag - and I don't want to be here.
But his wife's my wife's best friend for nearly 3 years,
Head low, hotel bed by 12.
Been on the dry, looking after myself.
Oh No!!
Who's this shuffling up through the aisles?
James Kenny!! 
I try and fail to not meet his eyes,
Too Late!!
Beside me and his tales proceed,
Every reason why he can't succeed,
Promising sports career cut short by injury,
Passed over for promotion in PWC
A life story I could do without knowing.
Tie his hands behind his back, throw him out of the Boeing...
He's pulling funny faces. Casually racist.
Worried that the immigrants will gradually replace us.
You know the kind of guy.
Says the MeToo movement's fine, 
but he's worried that due process as a concept it is dying
'What about the rights of men?'
Ugh, this is gonna be a long weekend...

Verse 2:
Waking up from a snooze inside the budget hotel
Hungover already. Gotta refresh myself
What's good for the body. Is good for the soul.....
2 solpadeine, a Diet Coke and a spicy chicken roll.
And guess who's here? James is here.  
And now I'm cursing at this burden
He wants to join me on the excursion to the bar
He thinks we bonded on the plane!
But I've been learning, trying to be a better person,
Really working on that pledge to myself,
So I say... yes
14 grown men in a bar. Nothing you haven't seen ten thousand times before.
Time passes. I'm having fun to be honest.
When James pulls me aside and reaches into his pocket,
Oh No!
A little bag with powder inside
He's walking to the toilet, looking back mid stride
No way!!
I shake my head and turn back to the crowd,
Those days behind me, I've got three kids now,
Finger to his lips, stupid grin on his jaw,
looking like he wants a fucking round of applause
Deep breaths, Jack.
Compassion and Empathy.
Maybe he's sent to me. 
Test my whole Dharmic abilities,
Laughing like a gull,
Vein bulging from his skull
Trying so hard to show he's living life to the full
His voice keeps getting louder,
Could never please his father
now he's breaking down in tears
his head buried in my shoulder,
The scene reads so absurd,
I'm in Hungary.
Propping up the unhappiest man in the world..

oh oh oh oh oh
It's Martin Cassidy's Stag!!
oh oh oh oh oh oh 

Verse 3:
4 in the morning, we've spilled onto the streets
Under Budapest starlight, voices breaching the peace,
An obscene little hymnbook,
And yes, you guessed, the destination is the typical strip club,
Feeling, low, cold, broken and old,
The stag's a no show, and now I only want to go home,
But I go slow throughout the whole motions. March on like a soldier.
James still stuck to my shoulder. Moaning low about his whole life going nowhere. 
And for a moment I'm distracted by the poles and their dancers 
And the boys whip the guilty phones out to
text home 'give the kids a kiss, not the same with out you'
Oh No! 
I turn around to monitor James,
He's fondling a stripper and he's running away,
Throws a drink on the head of a bouncer
I try to run after
End this whole desperate chapter
But I can't catch him.  Now here comes the manager.
'Which of you little bastards' after causing disaster'?
My vision sharpens with clarity.
I raise my hand, take the blame, in a moment of charity,
Right the wrongs of the world with a righteous light,
And while I'm basking in the glow of self-sacrifice,
I feel a short sharp crack in my ribs, and I see stars,
I'm doubled-over, bundled in the back of a police car,

Joy is here, its just not evenly shared,
I did my bit to see the balance repaired,
Not exactly Christ dying for our sins,
But not nothing either...
Guess I could call it a success of a weekend....

Martin Cassidy's Stag

SATELLITE GOES DOWN

I don't like the job, but the guys are OK
My car is too old, but the payments have been made
Our house is too big, since the children moved away
I guess I like it that way.

We have folks, they're so far away
We have friends, they're busy today
We go to church but we're not sure what to pray
It doesn't matter anyway

But if the satellite goes down tonight
What could we do to see it through?
With no TV just you and me
What could we find to pass the time?

And I don't care what we decide
It has no effect on the world outside
I don't do anything where once I would have tried
I guess I'm satisfied with life

But if the satellite goes down tonight
We'd be alone without a telephone
And with no internet they'd soon forget
That we were here in doubt and fear
If the satellite goes down tonight.

Satellite Goes Down

Millicent you came from small beginnings
A single drugstore town now look at you
Millicent they didn’t see potential
Yes the brightest minds were doubters too

Millicent you wear so many faces
It’s hard to tell which one of them is you
Millicent it’s half past nine, your hair looks great, your outfit’s fine
Millicent your ride is waiting too

All alone
All alone at home
In a dream house all alone

Millicent you’re PVC and pitches
All the little girls look down to you
Millicent sometimes you fall to pieces
Millicent the queen of Malibu

All alone
All alone at home
In a dream house all alone

make mad – EP

Millicent

Too Stoned (The Auditors)

Things I Should Have Said

The Brighter Side Of Living


I have never seen
anyone more deserving
   I’ve never felt more
      inclined to be forgiving
         If you don’t have the time
           then please take mine
              to the brighter side
                  of living

you seem to vanish
just as fast as you appear
     and in this vacuum I
 can neither see nor hear
   now left behind you
      will pay me no mind
         and this is most unfair
                my dear

the night draws in a heavy curtain
      of history and doubt
I cannot sing oh, so what the hell?
         this is how

don’t leave me stranded
a masterpiece unwritten
   you understand I’m 1 whole
         mess of division
   and you are too kind
     to say it’s alright
        when we both know it
              really isn’t

the lives I’ve dreamt as a tapestry
   of misery unfolds
 so to hell with mine, look now for   
             there she goes

to the brighter side alone
  to the brighter side of living

 the brighter side of living

The Brighter Side Of Living

Bitter Times Ahead

It’s not very funny
And it isn’t very kind
Being innocent and guilty 
Both at the same time

They locked you up and left you to rot
Then threw away the keys

Typhoid Jane, look what you done 
Typhoid Jane, you’ve gone and fooled everyone 
Typhoid Jane, stop hanging around 
Typhoid Jane, don’t you take me down

Sailed the great Atlantic 
So that you could be free
Serving wealthy gentry 
In New York City

Never sick, left no forwarding address
You never thought you were guilty  

Typhoid Jane, look what you done 
Typhoid Jane, you’ve gone and fooled everyone 
Typhoid Jane, stop hanging around 
Typhoid Jane, don’t you take me down

Quarantined, in North Brother Island 
Quarantined, they locked you up for life

Why cant you see
What you’re doing to me
Got me on my knees
Such a deadly disease

They locked you up and left you to rot
Then threw away the keys

Typhoid Jane, look what you done 
Typhoid Jane, you’ve gone and fooled everyone 
Typhoid Jane, stop hanging around 
Typhoid Jane, don’t you take me down

c N Connor 2021

Typhoid Jayne Master 17 Feb 2021

I made it out of Dublin
just before they locked it down
Caught the last flight out
and I slept until touchdown 
A place where men wear funny skirts
and nothing underneath
The heart of Mary's Scotland
became my new retreat 

One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

MacLeod threw me a party
he was the perfect host
Men in kilts may scare some
What’s beneath them might scare more
But I was not so frightened
'cause of all the Finns I know
Who drink vodka in the Sauna
and then roll naked in the snow

They offered me a single malt
I thought, underwear or not
When in Rome do as the Romans do
I'll drink it like a Scot
Then I remembered words of wisdom 
when I saw water on the side
'The fish they f*** in water'
so I tossed the glass aside.

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

They did not take that very well
in fact, they went quite mad
Three or four Scots held me down
and I found myself unclad
Then they tried to throw me out 
naked and exposed
but the bastards had forgotten
that the front door was still closed!

No shirt, no shoes, no socks, no jocks
A doorframe round my neck 
I walked the streets of Inverness
A bruised and battered wreck
I don't mind being naked
I'm a child of 68
but the Scots still had me bottles
and I had to set that straight

One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

Listen to me people
To this story’s tragic end
When I snuck back in the morning
not one bottle had they left
The bloody Scots had drunk them all
Yeah, that is what I said
And one was still there sleeping
with me Jocks upon his head!

A mass of beer, a sup of wine
O' whiskey, a wee dram
What you drink and when and where
No-one gives a damn.
But one thing that unites us all
underwear or not
The moment we begin to drink
we knock back all we've got!

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

One And Twenty Bottles

Swedish multi-instrumentalist and songwriter Johan Alm's solo project, Jambrains, is like a Kinder Surprise: you never know exactly what you are going to get but you know it's going to be tasty and expertly packaged. His music is a fusion of strong melodies and the power of guitars en masse with just a pinch of folk thrown in for good measure.

After paying his dues in numerous bands over the years, 2014 saw the birth of Jambrains as a vehicle for Johan to deliver what he calls "power with melody". "I had so many ideas and was writing so many songs but it was just too difficult to find the time to rehearse them with the band, let alone perform or record them. I had two choices - go solo or go insane", he explains.

At the beginning there was no well-defined Jambrains sound - guitars were always a key ingredient but doing lead vocals was new to Johan and style-wise, the songs were very diverse. Eventually a pattern emerged centred around the power and energy of classic rock with the melodies, harmonies and hooks of pop peppered with the ever-present undertow of folk.

The debut album '900 Days' was released in December 2016 and was well received. "It’s personal and fun, and always accompanied by amazing guitar", one review said.  "I wanted to sort of document the first 900 days of Jambrains, so I selected my 12 favorite songs and remixed/remastered them for the album", says Johan. '900 Days' is a perfect introduction to the evolution of the distinctive sound of Jambrains.

The follow up EP 'Life, Love & Lies' was released in September 2017. "This time I wanted more coherent material with regard to both songwriting and production", says Johan. Where the material for the first album was written and recorded over a period stretching over more than 2 years, 'Life, Love & Lies' was written and recorded over the course of 6 months and as a result, the second Jambrains release does sound tighter and more focused.

The third EP Faded Dreams was release in July 2018 and was well received. Johan is currently finalising the a fourth EP named Lost Horizons scheduled for the third quarter of 2019.