I made it out of Dublin
just before they locked it down
Caught the last flight out
and I slept until touchdown 
A place where men wear funny skirts
and nothing underneath
The heart of Mary's Scotland
became my new retreat 

One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

MacLeod threw me a party
he was the perfect host
Men in kilts may scare some
What’s beneath them might scare more
But I was not so frightened
'cause of all the Finns I know
Who drink vodka in the Sauna
and then roll naked in the snow

They offered me a single malt
I thought, underwear or not
When in Rome do as the Romans do
I'll drink it like a Scot
Then I remembered words of wisdom 
when I saw water on the side
'The fish they f*** in water'
so I tossed the glass aside.

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

They did not take that very well
in fact, they went quite mad
Three or four Scots held me down
and I found myself unclad
Then they tried to throw me out 
naked and exposed
but the bastards had forgotten
that the front door was still closed!

No shirt, no shoes, no socks, no jocks
A doorframe round my neck 
I walked the streets of Inverness
A bruised and battered wreck
I don't mind being naked
I'm a child of 68
but the Scots still had me bottles
and I had to set that straight

One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

Listen to me people
To this story’s tragic end
When I snuck back in the morning
not one bottle had they left
The bloody Scots had drunk them all
Yeah, that is what I said
And one was still there sleeping
with me Jocks upon his head!

A mass of beer, a sup of wine
O' whiskey, a wee dram
What you drink and when and where
No-one gives a damn.
But one thing that unites us all
underwear or not
The moment we begin to drink
we knock back all we've got!

Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true 
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you

One And Twenty Bottles

Mark Wheatley writing and recording music. In 2022 I started co-writing with Simon Gibson, we are planning to release an Album next year. Some of the songs here are demo tracks for the album. The Jazz and Blues Rona Wheatley section are old recordings of my Mother that date back to the 1960's. She had a lovely voice no effects in those days!

Singer/Songwriter and Recording Artist based in Cairns, FNQ

I’m a song-writer who enjoys creating music of any genre.

My son recently introduced me to A.I. and taught me how to do covers of my previously released non-A.I. music. Since I've never considered myself a performer (except playing with worship bands at church or solo-piano at a rehab center) using A.I. is right up my alley.

Since I've  exhausted using my previously released music for A.I. covers, I now compose music in a DAW, rip to a wave file, and make an A.I. cover of this wave file. I then write lyrics to the A.I. music. It takes around 100 A.I. iterations to complete the lyrics and get a style I'm happy with.  

Brief Bio: Lived more than a quarter of my life overseas (Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Turkiye, Italy, Japan, South Korea, and Taiwan). Each country gave me an appreciation for different types of music plus probably why I get bored easily in sticking with one genre or another.

I enjoy composing, arranging and recording music on an ever-expanding array of guitars, especially Fender electrics and Martin acoustics.  My musical journey began more than half a century ago, and every day brings new opportunities for continued growth as a musician.  My current leading influences include Jim Campilongo, Scotty Anderson and Guthrie Trapp.  I love Beethoven, Keith Richards, Henry Mancini, Aretha Franklin and a thousand others whose music has brought me joy, whether for many decades or for a few minutes.  I strive to learn something from every piece of music that I hear, and to make music that others will enjoy hearing.

I'm an amateur DIYer in terms of recording, doing everything in my music space at home and learning as I go.  I enjoy experimenting with a variety of microphones and mic placements, recording into a Zoom R16 and using Audacity as my DAW.  I use an array of Fender tube amps, all blackface/silverface reissues, and a modest pedal board.  I record acoustic instruments either with condenser microphones directly on the instruments or else amped through a Fishman Loudbox Mini.

Far Flown Falcon is the musical identity of songwriter James Conder. Music can be downloaded for free from https://farflownfalcon.bandcamp.com/. There is also a blog about songwriting at https://wordpress.com/posts/farflownfalcon.wordpress.com.

I enjoy music of all types. It is a a essential part of my life and keeps me docked to the mothership. Thanks for listening. Any input welcome.

Formed from fistfulls of fertile North American soil, The Garden Clots travel collaboratively across genres, borders, beliefs, and political perspectives.

Swedish multi-instrumentalist and songwriter Johan Alm's solo project, Jambrains, is like a Kinder Surprise: you never know exactly what you are going to get but you know it's going to be tasty and expertly packaged. His music is a fusion of strong melodies and the power of guitars en masse with just a pinch of folk thrown in for good measure.

After paying his dues in numerous bands over the years, 2014 saw the birth of Jambrains as a vehicle for Johan to deliver what he calls "power with melody". "I had so many ideas and was writing so many songs but it was just too difficult to find the time to rehearse them with the band, let alone perform or record them. I had two choices - go solo or go insane", he explains.

At the beginning there was no well-defined Jambrains sound - guitars were always a key ingredient but doing lead vocals was new to Johan and style-wise, the songs were very diverse. Eventually a pattern emerged centred around the power and energy of classic rock with the melodies, harmonies and hooks of pop peppered with the ever-present undertow of folk.

The debut album '900 Days' was released in December 2016 and was well received. "It’s personal and fun, and always accompanied by amazing guitar", one review said.  "I wanted to sort of document the first 900 days of Jambrains, so I selected my 12 favorite songs and remixed/remastered them for the album", says Johan. '900 Days' is a perfect introduction to the evolution of the distinctive sound of Jambrains.

The follow up EP 'Life, Love & Lies' was released in September 2017. "This time I wanted more coherent material with regard to both songwriting and production", says Johan. Where the material for the first album was written and recorded over a period stretching over more than 2 years, 'Life, Love & Lies' was written and recorded over the course of 6 months and as a result, the second Jambrains release does sound tighter and more focused.

The third EP Faded Dreams was release in July 2018 and was well received. Johan is currently finalising the a fourth EP named Lost Horizons scheduled for the third quarter of 2019.