STREAMING: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/leyton1/aspartame

prod me

i keep waking up from my dreams saying ive had enough
a cold sweat red cheeks hating everyone
slit my wrists just to see me bleed you won't pass it up
slit my wrists and im bleeding green it's been adding up

now every night i go to sleep you stay on my mind
whoever wanted us to meet wasn't on my side
the sun is down, gotta retreat smoke covered the sky
can't turn you down consumed with greed i won't even try

i gave a quarter of a second glance 
and now my face is turned to stone, can't get a second chance
i try and fail to pick it up, got heavy hands
don't ever miss what was
cause you won't get it back

all these options
they got me paralyzed, they won't stop talking
you hurt my head, i couldn't tell you're fake
that's what i get for drinking aspartame
now it's all the same

now every night i go to sleep you stay on my mind
whoever wanted us to meet wasn't on my side
the sun is down, gotta retreat smoke covered the sky
can't turn you down consumed with greed i won't even try

no way to live, they make me plead just to be alive
while mourning every broken dream i can't reify
i know ur lying through your teeth, i can see your eyes
but still you're fine, dont know why
you try to redefine
you won't just ever let it die

all these options
they got me paralyzed, they won't stop talking
you hurt my head, i couldn't tell you're fake
that's what i get for drinking aspartame
now it's all the same 

think of you all the time, time, time
try to get over it
told you to get ur own dream you took mine
and now you're running out of time
so then u pull me back close
i'll get hurt again on alternatives

let me down soon and don't be late
can't feel my heart can't catch a break
i'll never celebrate, i think my time's spent better waiting
said i can't stay, don't wanna recognize my face
i gotta find some way to pay
but you won't give up calling my name

aspartame

8 of 9
~
the pasture's only down the block
it was so many miles away
used to be stuck at the fencepost
we couldn't get our hands away
I think that I saw something else
I couldn't get my eyes off it
but I think it's over for us now
cause soon I will be nothing more

it's only a walk from sudbury
as long as I can stay under the trees
as soon as you ran from somebody
you stopped running away from me
it's only a walk from sudbury
as long as I can stay under the trees
as soon as you ran from somebody
you stopped running away from me

I lost something, and I'm never finding it
am I supposed to move on? out of the woods that were beside me
and I don't think I could see you under the clouds that started moving
and the grass got all brown, I know that you'd just think it's stupid
and I don't think I could feel you, watching snow turn into water
all that I could do was watch, or maybe look for what I lost
but I know that was always useless, or maybe it was punishment
cause I never even heard you, until I fell into the lawn

I thought you were real for my entire life
but the things that I love are the ones I can't spite
cause they're gone before I know that I just can't live without them
is it too late to ask if I loved you at all?
ever since I was there I can't see anything
and you ask where I am, but all I hear is the scream
or the piece of my life that's stuck between my teeth
after 16 whole years, I finally can't breathe

sudbury (the pasture song)

pest

cut song off the album 
circa feb 2024

🦋 \\ credits // 🦋
+prod
@jaunsen 
+ additional synths from
@speal

mix + master by me~

🦋 \\ lyrics // 🦋

[verse] ~ @jauntsen
If i'm being honest
your running out of time
the only chance you’ll ever get is something you don’t like
cause you know, exactly what you want so
why can’t you make up your mind
she’s telling me to run with all these thoughts that aren't mine
you know, i got know where left to go now

cause you know, exactly what you want so

[hook] ~ @jauntsen
why do i have to be
always stuck in the process
cause you don’t have what you need
If i’m just being honest
I only do it for your sake
like i'm you're number 1 target
cause you don’t have what it takes
If i’m just being honest

[verse 2] ~ @jauntsen
you know, exactly what you want
but i don’t, i’ll leave it in the dust when i go
and make it for both of us,
this is our home
that wasn’t made for us, anyways
this isn’t my role
I’ll keep playing it, anyways
for now it's just a taste

[bridge] ~ @jauntsen
until it goes down
again (again)
stuck in this maze
and Looking for an answer.
and if i'm being honest
I don't think theres the one
I believed a fake promise
now i wanna run

until i watch the time run out
broke the hourglass
guess i’m out of luck
blank face when you stare
doesn’t look like you care
I really wish i had a way to get us out of here

and so i watch the time slow down
flipped the hourglass
guess i’m now in luck
speak your mind just to share
and pretend that you care
I really wish i had a way to get us out of here
cause i don’t really ask for much 

[hook] ~ @jauntsen
why do i have to be
always stuck in the process
cause you don’t have what you need
If i’m just being honest
I only do it for your sake
like i'm you're number 1 target
cause you don’t have what it takes
If i’m just being honest

you know, exactly what you want so

if i'm honest

Written on August 5th, 2024 in Chattanooga, TN
Cover art taken on April 17th, 2023 in Fort Shaw, MT

Lyrics: https://genius.com/Wishlane-swiss-army-knife-lyrics

Proof of concept

Swiss army knife

listen somewhere else

damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2011.wav

retiming these guitars was the worst 37 minutes of my life

original: https://soundcloud.com/prestonwoolsey/mend

mend

VERSE 1:
You arrive some perfect afternoon
Name in sharpie, sticker residue
Walk to where the two roads intersect
Try to unlearn concern again

VERSE 2:
Monster outside of your field of view
I'll be a couple threats ahead of you
And if ever things don't make much sense
I promise I will hold your hand

CHORUS:
I've made mistakes
That I won't live down
Forever changed
Forever weighed down

This is a relay
You bear the torch now
Do something great
Do something profound

BRIDGE:
In the creak
Of my knees
There's a daughter

In the bleed
Of my eye
There's a son

OUTRO:
Is that not something to aspire to
I know the timing isn't opportune
Now that nothing seems to make much sense
I thought that I was in your plans

Sticker Residue

I couldn’t say enough


I spend my time staring at the things i cannot touch 

the moon, my inhibitions

every thing made of this dust

if you would just allow our time to cut away the rust

nothing can be perfect,
not persuaded 
sweet, infallible 

but
i would let myself be broken,
just to see what we become 

i stay late forever, spitting water out of my mouth 
consistent and forgiving 
when the flocks are moving south 

i am not incessant 
i just don’t want to give up

i can get the message 
i pray that this enough

10 20 24

For mike

Holding a porcelain gift
With your memory around its fingertip
Youd glow when I held it above me
And youd tremble when I held it close
So I dont
It might get cold but itll be alright

An interstate apart
Driving somewhere I’ve been next to you
Youre weightless in the palm of my hand like a clothespin
Your brightness like a stone pushing deep into my cold skin
I just wish you could see me like this
I know youre just down the road and it’ll be alright

all insts by me

Porcelain gift

wortheverysecond

my name is jasmine
it's only just your life. ♡ ´･ᴗ･ `♡
butterfly effect 🦋

if i'm honest

jauntsen

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eris mirror ✼

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