inspired by life experiences, hidden thoughts and emotions. a "wildflower's" diary. 

credits:
singer/songwriter: suzzie
prod. jacob vallen

sorry, i'm not the one

I wrote it because I live through it and wanted to share

A Letter To Myself

'Tabula Rasa' explores the the itch to shake off the past and start again with a blank slate. It's the third single from Bethany's upcoming EP The Story I Breathe.

Tabula Rasa

[Verse 1]
I was lost in the ash of a foreign December
The streets were hollow, and so was my skin
Carried the weight of a hundred bad choices
And nowhere to run with the fire within

[Pre-Chorus]
But then a voice cut through the static
Like a hand through smoke and wire
Didn’t ask for a savior
But you walked through my fire

[Chorus]
You were the light that stayed
When every other flame went out
Held up the sky while I broke down
You never let me fade
Even when I cursed the dawn
You smiled and just kept holding on

[Verse 2]
You had your own storms, unspoken and cruel
But you stood like a lighthouse
With no one to guide you
Still, you lit the way for someone like me
Who was drowning, too blind to see

[Pre-Chorus]
They broke your home, tried to break your soul
But you laugh like the world’s still whole
And I don’t deserve that kind of grace
But you gave it anyway

[Chorus]
You were the light that stayed
When every other flame went out
Held up the sky while I broke down
You never let me fade
Even when I cursed the dawn
You smiled and just kept holding on

[Bridge]
You never needed to save me
But you did it just by being
The only truth I had left
When I stopped believing

[Chorus]
You were the light that stayed
When every other flame went cold
You held my hand like you’d always known
That I’d come back someday
To the only place I felt whole
Your light… made me whole

[Outro]
You never had to stay
But I’m here ‘cause you did

The Light

Verse 1

Sometimes you feel like there’s no way out
A world too big and filled with doubt
But there’s a spark inside you, bright as the sun
You’re stronger than you know, and you’ve just begun

Pre-Chorus

You can write the story, you can change the rules
Open up your vision, the future’s up to you

Chorus

Cause it’s your reality, no one can take it from you
Every dream’s within your reach, if you believe it’s true
You decide your destiny, the power’s in your hands
No matter where you start, you choose where you’ll land
It’s your reality—go claim what you can do

Verse 2

When fear knocks on your door, don’t let it in
You’ve got the heart to fight and the will to win
The voice inside that says “You’ve got this” is right
Take one step forward, step into the light

Pre-Chorus

No mountain too tall, no vision too grand
When you feel the call, that’s where you’ll stand

Chorus (repeat)

Cause it’s your reality, no one can take it from you
Every dream’s within your reach, if you believe it’s true
You decide your destiny, the power’s in your hands
No matter where you start, you choose where you’ll land
It’s your reality—go claim what you can do

Bridge

Don’t let the outside noise drown out your inner flame
You’re the one who writes your script—no two stories are the same
Focus on the horizon, let hope guide your way
Stand tall in your purpose, tomorrow starts today

Final Chorus

It’s your reality, no one can take it from you
Every dream’s within your reach, if you believe it’s true
You decide your destiny, the power’s in your hands
No matter where you start, you choose where you’ll land
It’s your reality—so go on and shine through

Outro

Yes, it’s your reality—go claim what you can do
Stand up and make it real—‘cause it all begins with you

It’s your reality

[Verse 1]
First met you on the courthouse steps
You had a ticket for a car that was borrowed
You said "Take me to the firemen's ball
They'll forget about it by tomorrow"

[Verse 2]
We danced and you introduced me as your husband
It was just a little white lie
But I loved it
You said
"Let's go make it a little more true"
And we took off in a hurry
We got hitched and got it over
While the wedding bells were still ringin' in my ears

[Chorus]
Tell me
Girl
What was wrong with me?
Was it my taste in music or the way I kissed you?
Or the hours and hours that I spent with you in bed?
Was it something that I said?
Was it the way I held your hand
When you introduced me as your husband?
Why a girl wanna leave such a smart and gentle man?

[Verse 3]
You brought me to your parents' house
You said
"Just play along for the weekend"
They had their questions and their doubts
But by the end
They were believing

[Verse 4]
We had fun
We put on a good show
I guess some people just get off on pretending
I could tell that your daddy didn't like me much
So I left
'cause it seemed like the right thing
It was just the one time
But I know how much it meant to you
And I hope I didn't mess it up too bad

[Chorus]
Tell me
Girl
What was wrong with me?
Was it my taste in music or the way I kissed you?
Or the hours and hours that I spent with you in bed?
Was it something that I said?
Was it the way I held your hand
When you introduced me as your husband?
Why a girl wanna leave such a smart and gentle man?

Why me ?  Lyrics in description

Blank Canvas

A haunting eco-folk ballad told by Earth’s last standing tree as it watches its forest fall. With the sorrow of a whispered ghost story and the urgency of a dying wish, sparse guitar and a lone trembling voice unfold the tale. Bowed bass murmurs beneath verses, while tremolo strings swell into the chorus, deepening the anguish. By the final whisper, listeners are left chilled by the weight of what’s already gone.

[Verse 1]
First they took the willow’s sighs,
Then the redwoods, stripped and skinned.
Now the crows don’t call at morning—
Just the grind of steel on wind.

[Chorus]
Is there anyone who’ll listen?
Or am I the last who knows?
I can taste the diesel drifting…
Count my rings as the last one goes.

[Break]

[Verse 2]
They called it “better sunlight,”
Laid the concrete like a shroud.
Men in suits point at my branches,
Say, “It’s prettier as a cloud.”

[Bridge]
Do you hear my roots snap, cracking?
Does the earth still feel it too?
Or am I just a ghost already—
Just a shadow they’ll walk through?

[Final Chorus]
Now I know there’s no one coming…
No more stories left to grow.
Just the hush of falling timber—
Then the world they’ll never know.

[End]


Final Tree’s Lament

Myrhna, Louve de Lumière 02

Written in honor of my twin sister's massive heart. 

Lyrics: 

[Intro]
I’ve been spinning on this circle…chasing hearts that couldn’t stay.
Giving love like it was oxygen…just to watch it float away.
But I’m not the same woman—who thought pain was the proof.
There’s a fire deep inside me now. And it’s lighting up the truth.

[Verse]
Another year. Another heartbreak. Same old tears upon my face.
Thought love would be my rescue…but it left without a trace.
I gave 'til I was empty. Lifted men up just to fall.
Tried to be their northern star—
but no one risin’ to the call.

[Chorus]
I was turning on a wheel…spinning ‘round the same sun.
Giving all I had to give…but never being the one.
Still, I didn’t hold back love. Didn’t close the fading gate.
Even pain became a prayer…
and I still chose to radiate.

[Verse]
They say the world keeps turning…but I feel it in my bones.
Each goodbye was a teacher. Each silence carved in stone.
But I never let the hurting…be a reason not to feel.
Love still flowed right through me—
even when it wouldn’t heal.

[Chorus]
I was turning on a wheel…‘round a sun I didn’t know.
Now I see—it was my own fire…keeping me aglow.
What I gave was not a weakness. Just strength misunderstood.
And I’d do it all again…
just to transform what I could.

[Bridge]
This last one was different. I came out brand new.
Heard the voice of God in the wind…and morning dew.
Life began to whisper. And I finally heard the call.
That I was not made to chase—
I was born to stand tall.

I’ve got my own sun rising…at the center of my chest.
Burned away the fear—
what I deserve has come to rest.
I’m guided now by ancestors. And I’ve never felt so clear.
I’ve never felt so clear…
My soul’s already moving…
and the one I seek is near.

[Verse]
They were mirrors—every one of them…reflecting back myself.
Now the universe is my mirror.
There’s no end to my wealth.  
I don’t need a love that’s lesser. I don’t ache to be enough.
I want love that knows my thunder…
and can meet me in the rough.

[Chorus]
I’m no longer on that wheel. I’ve stepped off into the light.
Built a fire from my heartbreak…now it’s burning warm and bright.
So I’ll sit here on this mountaintop…and watch the valley bloom.
I see another peak ahead—
but there’s no more need to zoom. 

[Outro]
My pain had a purpose. And now I see…
The suffering didn’t break me. It came to set me free.
Yeah, no suffering can break me…
this soul of mine is free.

Revolutions around the Sun (Amy's Song)

A cinematic ballad of quiet vows, starlit whispers, and tender grooves. Fusing poetic storytelling with soft melodies, this song drifts through longing, love, and rebirth beneath a boundless night sky.

Play for You

All songs, -music and lyrics - are copyrighted..
As an author - composer, I like to sing, with my natural voice or slightly transformed with different devices, according to my mood. I also play all kinds of keyboards and a little bit of 6-string guitars, both acoustic and electric.I'm pretty old, but I've still got a fairly wide vocal range, though it's getting lower and lower.
I also have a small home studio called Vesuvius( thx Sufjan Stevens! )
I like to work alone, or with two or three partners, male or female, highly qualified.
And I get some much fun to discover amazing new talents on Soudcloud. That's why I follow more people than I'm followed by. I'm just too curious..

Why me ? Lyrics in description

Jef Tale