Plight of the Frankentweens (2025 Remaster)

"This is kind of a thematic sequel to a song from my album before this (Hot Take Fight to the Death!!) called 'You Think You're a Good Guy'. It's about people who consider themselves good and righteous and aren't self-aware enough to see their hypocrisy. The truth is that we're all capable of being good AND bad. None of us are above it, even if it's nice to think we are. People aren't black and white, we're gray. Which is more interesting anyway."

Lyrics:

He's racist but he thinks he's sensible
A white hood masked as amenable 
He's fighting an army of demons
Who can't drive

He's in the front row at the church house
He's handing a twenty to his kid now
He's taking the family to lunch
Where he won't tip

From the first time to the last
His aim true but his view is cracked
He faithful, he's a light
But he thinks he's always right
When gray, gray is in our blood
Can't be clean dragging in the mud
Gray, gray is in our blood
Gray is in our blood...

He loves her but it takes a lot of work
They put in the time but they can't learn
They give up and hit up Braum's
Order and pray, burgers and shakes

Used to get down to rock and roll 
Now it's ibuprofen and Lansoprazole
A good night ends at 9:45

(repeat chorus)

Gray Is In Our Blood

"This song seems self-explanatory. I was probably thinking about how bogged down some friendships can get with nonsense when all you really want to do is tell them you love them. It's not very deep. I do like how musically the song goes from abrasive in the beginning to less so in the end, kind of softening like the friendship maybe."

Lyrics:

Before my friends go
Before our bodies turn to dust
Before we can't hope
Before our prayers aren't enough

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

Why's it ugly?
Why's the hurt so dumb and sad?
Why no hugging?
Why the judging with no laugh

(repeat chorus)

Walk into your house
Ask you what it's all about
Share a wink of our time
Don't be a stranger, friend of mine
(repeat chorus)

Don't Be a Stranger

"This might be my favorite song on the album, at least in how it came out. I like the lead guitar part that comes in on the second chorus a lot. The melody scratches an itch in my brain or something. This is pretty much about when you feel like you post too much online and you're trying to get yourself to stop but having a tough time."

Lyrics:

Sitting in the quiet
Tightening that muzzle
Mellowing my mind
With a swipy puzzle
Checking out my likes
Finding it's a drought
Feening for a fix
I wanna post a pout!

Everyone is jumping off a cliff
Wanna prove I'm more than just a stiff
Typing a scream on a wall
From my POV I know it all
Gag order
Self-imposed
Gag order
On my fingers and on my phone
Take my touchscreen
Watch my toes
Gag order
No no! I'm gonna post...

I just picked a side
Not the same as you
See you tomorrow night
Awkward over food
"Sure I like chips.
Can we keep it civ'?
I'm a little blank
You're a little pissed!"

(repeat chorus)

I've got things to say
I'm an active face
Gonna save the world
With my white guy take
No one else is smart
People *need* my art
"I see it as a calling..."
So why are my followers falling?
I'm a niche of a niche of a niche of a niche of a niche of a niche
I am the only person talking back to me
What's the point of sunlight?
What's the point of words?
It's just self-reflection if you're the only one who heard

(repeat chorus)

Gag Order

"Way back in the 1900s we used to buy music on physical objects and play them in special machines. (I know!) Sometimes you'd listen to an entire album and think it was over and then after like five or ten minutes of silence a whole bonus song would start. A *secret song*, if you will. This one here was a throwaway song, more than likely written during an aforementioned 'write a song every day' month. I think it was amusing to me to end an album with a song just called 'Secret Song'. There's no mystery. It's not a surprise. It's just there. You're welcome." 

Lyrics:

You thought this wasn't a song
You thought you just left your player on
You were onto something else
But uh oh, guess who's back to belt

I had moved on as well
I was halfway back into my shell
I was cooking a pizza
Processing your Mastercard or Visa

A secret song for my secret fans
"Hey!"
A secret song only we understand
"Hey!"
Sends me back on a simpler time trip
Before this album complicated our relationship
A secret song all your friends missed
A nice moment with your favorite artist 😉
A secret song on a modern tracklist
Is not as shocking as on a compact disc

You had moved on with your life
Thought you'd listen to some Taylor Swift tonight
"Jeff's songs are alright.
But nothing thrills me like my very own song might"

Well now is your chance
To move along and possibly dance
But you'd better move quick
A secret song can be over in one click

(repeat chorus)

This song is secret
So I don't have to mean it or believe it
This song is secret
So I don't have to mean it or believe it

Secret Song

"I like watching TV a lot. Maybe too much. This is a song about how much I love starring at a screen and letting my mind wander all over the place. Ha. It's scatterbrained. It's about flipping through channels and loving it. A daisy wheel is a type of typewriter. The chorus here is basically saying I could kill a typewriter talking about how much I like watching TV."

Lyrics:

On mute 
TV's got a song too
Can't choose 
Your next distraction
Don't flip! 
This ad will be a blip
We're hiding from the neighbor's lip

White and real 
An animated star field
Mic tap 
If this thing is on, clap
Striped tie:
Who are you at night?
I channel change and change my mind

For real I feel
I could stare here for every meal
My dose of my shows...
I could make a ghost of a daisy wheel

James Bond
Now you have the baton
Wait one
Someone's on my front lawn...
Scratch that
Was just a pregnant cat
Let's get back to Spectre's trap

Movie that I never got to
DVR that thing then slog too
One one five
The story behind
A show I watched when I was nine

(repeat chorus 2x)

Ghost of a Daisy Wheel

"This is a sci-fi song about alien abduction. It has some gruesome imagery that was fun to write but I never know if it's disturbing to listen to. I wrote this in either 2017 or 2018 during a strange time in America where it felt like evil aliens were infiltrating everything and I'm sure that feeling was part of the inspiration. That feeling that you've been taken over by an enemy and there's nothing you can do about it. It's sad and defeating but you hope others can find their way to something better."


Lyrics:

Orbiting the coast
The rockets are firing
Cruising in low
The view is inspiring

Oh! Oh no!
I'm choking on smoke!

A drill in my head
An alien dizziness
Are we all dead?
Adaptive existences...

Did I digest?!
I'm caught in a nest!

I've been pulled into
Automatic doom
They got to you
But how'd they make it through?
"We're as true as separated glue"
Pulled into automatic doom...

I bust out my pod
I'm covered in mucus juice
Crawl on the floor
I zoom like a crippled goose

LOUD ALARM
What am I gonna do...

The doors slide up
A vacuum-sealing sound
Footsteps rush in
The butts of blasters pound

BAM BAM BAM
I've been subdued...

(repeat chorus)

If this is it
Don't tell my family I died in spit
If this is all there is
I hope good wins in the end

I hope the others find their way back
I hope the others find their way back
I hope the others find their way back
I hope the others find their way back

Automatic Doom

"One of my most frequent song topics is songwriting itself. I'm fascinated with the relationship between an artist and a listener. It can be friendly but there's a distance. If you're the person singing you're playing a role in the listener's imagination in a way. You aren't you, you're a character, if you're doing your job right. In other circumstances you wouldn't want people to project their feelings and thoughts onto you but in this one that's almost point. They think you're someone else and that has meaning to them and it's not accurate but that's not your problem. Being a blank slate for them is good in a way. Not that you'd have the same relationship with your actual friends and family.

It's just strange to think about songs and what they mean. They're this short bit of words and chords and melodies and they become the way you connect with some people. They're a conduit and you can't control how the listener will interpret them and you kind of have to just make peace with whatever they hear in the songs, even if it's far from what it means to you. It's just a weird place to be in in my opinion. I've been doing this for around twenty-five years and I still don't understand the magic of it. Yeah. I bet that's the kind of headspace I was in when I wrote this."

Lyrics:

Song after song
Chord after chord
topic to topic
Floored to bored
I wanna shake it up
This muse-y luck
Take it to the limit
For your pickup truck

Scratching the record
Flipping the single
Ordering thoughts
Just to give 'em a tingle
It shouldn't work
So why do they twerk?
I'm no dancer
I'm just here to lurk (but)

Let's go outside
Where we've been, right?
Let's blow right by
The strange pain inside
Don't wanna dwell on
all the hell or
Kiss and tell on
Where Heaven fell more

Poem on fire
Performance on wire
Singing to strings
Pull 'em out with a plier
Give 'em a kick
Use the heaviest pick
Play it for some chick
Try to make her sick

Or I'm a good guy!
... sometimes
I'm a full-time
Daytime nightlight 
I'm a party
In your house
I'm your greatest
Dream guy spouse (or)

(repeat chorus)

You know what you want from me
So take it so I'll feel right please
You know what you want from me
So take it so I'll feel right please

(repeat chorus)

Poem on Fire

"One day when I was trying to write a song a friend texted me a picture of his angry-looking son and my immediate thought was, 'That kid's pissed'. Then my songwriter brain took over and ran with the title. It's nice to have sweet, sentimental songs about how much you love a kid but I thought it was more interesting to explore the other side, when they're being a brat and a little tyrant but you know you love them anyway. 

I didn't write this song about my nephew but I think of him when I sing or hear it. To be clear, he is NOT an angry problem child like the one in the song but he did used to laugh and punch me in the... Uh, nevermind."

Lyrics:

Plastic guys flyin'
High-pitched cryin'
Didn't get a nap in
Now the boy is slappin'
Laughin' at your pain
Drivin' in the rain
Now he fell asleep
Wigglin' his baby teeth

Kid's pissed
He's throwing fits
Other day, man, I swear I heard him hiss
Never thankful
Never grateful
Kinda wish he'd never left his baby cradle

Angel boy zonked out
Don't you make a sound
Little heart's tender
My man plan ender
Hungry as a ferret
Spittin' out a carrot
Better get my bib on
Otherwise I'm gonna wear it!

(repeat chorus)

I love this tiny psycho
But I'm still scared
He punched me in the stomach
But I still care
He's screaming like a banshee
He don't know what he means to me
Of all the kids under the sun
He is my wildest one

(repeat chorus)

Kid's Pissed

"My main memory of writing this song was literally finding my Harry Potter books in an old box and flipping through them and being reminded of how magical they were to read. This is a song about being introverted and wanting to shut the door and do your own thing. I probably put it first on the album because that's what I have to do to make albums. They require so so so much alone time. Maybe I was setting the scene in a way."

Lyrics:

Pulled some books out of an old box
Pages were yellow but they still talk
Brought some memories back, I must say
Of sneaking away to let my mind play

I'm in love with the written word
Nothing's better than going full nerd
I'm obsessed with the other lands
I'm all notecards and rubber bands

I'm a fake plane
I'm on holiday
Do not disturb
I cannot verb
I'm no good
I'd put down my foot
But I can't move
And it can't improve

That's the gist of my paralysis
That's the runaway my friends miss
I'm just starring at my paper drug
Like a werewolf but instead a slug

I'm a human but the still type
If they time-lapsed from day to night
I'd be frozen in my easy chair
Some things in life are not fair

(repeat chorus)

I'm a statue just here to inhale
I don't output, I just suck and set sail
I'm a body preparing for the slab
Doing 80 to do 0 to live fab

(repeat chorus)

Do Not Disturb

"Fun fact: I use a vocal-less version of this song as the intro music to my podcast, if it sounds familiar.

This and the next song are about living online. This one is about how you can be so in touch with things on the other side of the planet and be completely disconnected from the people who live right next door, something I'm 100% guilty of. Maybe it's just the way of the world these days, but it's strange to think about. I like the bridge that questions why we're so quick to escape our real life for 'pixelated clouds'. Why do we always want to be somewhere other than where we are?"

Lyrics:

Tweeting at Tokyo
I elbowed my neighbor's kid but she's okay
Will only need a neck brace for forty days

You should've seen it
I posted a clever twist on a meme
Hey when she grows up she'll forget about three

And I will never be forgotten
And every joke I told will haunt my haters
Stop me if you've heard my new one
You've got things to do? Hey, I will text ya' later

'Gramin' to Grandma
I scraped up my neighbor's blinged CR-V
For five in a driveway just one got keyed

I'll pay attention
Next time I'm checking my mail with my phone
Bravely I'll spend those seconds alone

(repeat chorus)

Reality is an emoji frown
So I lock my mind on the pixelated clouds
Twist me up in knots of thoughts
Tell me stories, you tiny dots...
Take my brain
I want to be inside your "sane"
Why is Earth such a lovely place to desert?

(repeat chorus)

Tweeting @ Tokyo

"I used to run a lot, and should get back to it, but I'd sometimes get bad headaches and nausea recovering afterwards. Also, I sometimes try a creative exercise where make myself write a song every day for a month, no matter how awful it is. I think I was literally feeling relieved I didn't throw up the night before and it was time to write a song so this is what came out. It's a ridiculous topic for a song but I also like how weird it is. It's literally a celebration of the feeling of not throwing up when you thought you were going to. And you know what? Some people have told me this is their favorite song on the album. Sometimes you've just gotta be experimental, you know?"

Lyrics:

I didn't barf again last night
But I fell asleep at three instead
I counted an army of sheep
And took some pills for my head
I hate the thoughts I have
When my skull is pounding
Irritations crank up to eleven
And the toilet is my only outing

Didn't barf
Last night
Got some sleep
Now I feel alright
Didn't barf
High-five
Didn't die
I guess I'm still alive

I woke up a little bit tired
But other than that refreshed
It's a wonder what sleep can do
I'd say "the greatest common cure is rest"
Aren't bodies a wondrous thing?
I still don't understand my own
Why doesn't it fall apart
Every time it starts to blow?

(repeat chorus)

Somehow my soup stayed down
Makes a stomach-owner proud
Three cheers for gastric acid
And the normal route

(repeat chorus)

Didn't Barf

Frankentweens 2025 Remaster Intro

I'm a songwriter/attempting screenwriter living in Fort Worth, Texas. I wanted to do a podcast but figure it out as I go. Hope you enjoy!   - Jeff

Plight of the Frankentweens (2025 Remaster)

Jeff Grant