Love’s A Loaded Gun (And I Pulled The Trigger)

Production by Saint Mike
Vocals & Lyrics by Me
- another blow to the heart again
- why do I do this to myself
- swimming up stream to get some air
- sometimes I wish I would just choke
- yearning for dreamscapes it isn’t fair
- I don’t know what is real
- the more I reach out, seems nothings there
- but still it won’t conclude 

- the minutes the moments, the seconds go by
- it’s still living rent free in my mind
- I drown it all out, pouring into myself
- I love me but I’m so fucking lonley 

- But why was it you
- And not someone else
- I’m dragging my feet
- through some made up hell
- I wish I could speak to my past self
- And tell her to never hit you up again

- new faces come by but I compare
- them to what I saw in you
- trying to fit a circle with a square
- it will never make a two

- the minutes the moments, the seconds go by
- it’s still living rent free in my mind
- I drown it all out, pouring into myself
- I love me but I’m so fucking lonley 

- But why was it you
- And not someone else
- I’m dragging my feet
- through some made up hell
- I wish I could speak to my past self
- And tell her to never hit you up again

- just drown it all out
- I'm just drowning it out
- just drown it all out
- I'm just drowning it out
- just drown it all out
- I'm just drowning it out


#grunge #alternativerock #alternative #alt #emo #deftones

Limerence

She Fell

DE: Der Song erzählt die Geschichte einer Frau, die trotz einer traumatischen Kindheit, die sie hart und kalt gemacht hat, ihre innere Stärke findet und sich aus der Dunkelheit ins Licht kämpft.

EN: The song tells the story of a woman who, despite a traumatic childhood that left her hard and cold, finds her inner strength and fights her way out of the darkness and into the light.

Lost Girl

Here are 10 of my songs written from the heart and soul of what I love. Music. All kinds, all genres, and all flavors. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did making them.

Rock'N'Roll Crackers

There are times you don't know what to do, go out and drink is not the solution, just go home and talk it out.

Waiting for you

Bodies (looking for help lol)

Velvet Petals presents "Nostalgia," a deeply moving and beautifully crafted rock ballad. Carried by a haunting piano melody and soulful vocals, the song explores the bittersweet beauty of fading memories, like dust motes dancing in the soft light of the past. Building to an emotional climax with a soaring guitar solo, "Nostalgia" is a fragile art, a melody etched upon the heart. #VelvetPetals #Nostalgia #RockBallad #SoftRock #Melancholic #GuitarSolo #Bittersweet

Nostalgia

INWARD PAIN

If you've ever felt like a ghost in a getaway car...

★ Raw • Haunting • Cathartic ★

Dive into a ghost story where pop-punk’s confessional rage meets hauntcore’s eerie intimacy. This acoustic-driven track wraps desperate highway imagery ("headlights, red lights, sirens bright") in stripped back guitar rawness, capturing the exhaustion of outrunning your own shadow.

Key themes:

☠️ Self haunting (“I’m my own worst memory”)

🚗 Escapism’s dead ends (“Can’t outrun myself in either lane”)

⚰️ Resignation (“Dig myself into a little plot of grass”)

Lyrics:

I distanced myself to see what would stay near
Admittedly I don't see much, all too clear
Head lights, red lights, and sirens bright at the rear
But the subject in the mirror is much closer than it appears

And I see it now, the ghost I tried to leave
Following me down these empty streets
I believe it now, like you used to say
I'm my own worst memory

Windows down, July rain as cold as your glare
Heavy is the head, cold wind, silence in the air
Better left unsaid, can't speak what's not here
Never tried my best, couldn't make myself seem to care

But every mile I drive is a roadside flare
Double parked going sixty, lighting a cigarette, texting "I'm almost there"
Can’t outrun myself, in either lane, always left, right, disappear
Wind blows tumble weeds down a familiar road of tears

And I see it now, the ghost I tried to leave
Following me down these empty streets
I believe it now, like you used to say
I'm my own worst memory

Am I running from the past or chasing what’s ahead?
These sirens behind me can’t drown what’s in my dread
The lights are getting closer, fear is getting clear
Is it a dead end ahead or highway deer

Rearview conversations I never will outpace
Every mile marker takes a turn to make their case
Tires drift the shoulder, rubber stays in place
Fell asleep at the wheel trying to erase

And I see it now, where I was supposed to be
Spent to much time at lights in disbelief
I believe you now, I just don't trust the memory
Cause you can't get that far with a tank on E

I missed my turn a while back
Think I'll park in the shade
Dig myself into a little plot of grass
I tire of taking winding paths too fast, too fast

Free Download

Flat

I originally wrote this song years ago back in my early 20’s after moving from my home town to another city. I was going through allot in my life at that time and really felt alone. I was leaving everything I knew behind along with friends & family to start a new chapter of my life. It really wasn’t a planned move but something that I knew I had to do. Good things actually began to start happing in my life and I was feeling more accomplished than I had ever felt in my life. Now fast forward about 25yrs years later I have now officially given my life to God and throughout the previous 10 years or so in my life He has really opened my eyes to all the blessings He has given me in my life along with the new path He’s put me on allowing me to finally pursue my music. I feel that this song really represents how I’ve been feeling mentally & spiritually. It is a humbling and amazing feeling that you feel once you surrender your life to our Lord Jesus Christ.

Passing Over

Jeremy Ryan Martin is a solo rock artist with a sound forged through raw emotion, real-life struggle, and years of hands-on experience in the underground music scene. His passion for music began at 13, when he formed his first band with middle school friends in the early ’90s. By 17, he was already writing original songs and fronting local rock groups, honing his voice and presence on stage.

Throughout his 20s and 30s, Jeremy played in several rock-driven projects, spending countless hours in recording studios learning the craft of mixing and production from seasoned audio engineers and musicians. A self-taught songwriter shaped by hardship, he grew up with a single mom and younger brother, often turning to his guitar as a way to cope and make sense of life.

Jeremy draws inspiration from the gritty rock legends he grew up on—Metallica, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Candlebox, and other icons of the late ’80s and early ’90s. While those influences echo through his music, it’s his unique voice and deeply personal songwriting that set him apart. Every track he creates is a reflection of resilience, struggle, and healing.

“I love to play my guitar and write songs, but there’s no better feeling than seeing someone else connect with what I’ve created.” – Jeremy Ryan Martin