https://www.dropbox.com/preview/Tomb-Raider-Steven-E.-D.E-Souza-Second-Draft-02-05-1999-Scan.pdf?role=personal

Having seen Castlevania Season 2; I want to call stuff like this 'vampiric intent'. Combining Alucard's stile of swordfighting with how Sypha discribes magic as being "the intent to change the world".    It makes it easier to cope....

Spin-off Doctors

Join your old friends Jim Sterling and Conrad Zimmerman as they get elbow-deep in licensed videogame material. Movies, TV shows, comics (but mostly movies), the doctors are here to examine. 

This week, we start with 2002's Resident Evil, directed by Paul W.S. Anderson and starring Milla Jovovich. 

She kicked a zombie unconscious. 

The Spin-off Doctors: Resident Evil

"You created it all so you could live forever. Why?"

Your doctors are in the house to dissect House of the Dead, Uwe Boll's classic cinematic dog turd. 

Spaniards from Spain, gun continuity, Sega's island raves, and tits within minutes are all on the menu. Alongside some of the crappest zombies ever. 

The Spin-off Doctors: House of the Dead

Your doctors cut open the carcass of DOOM, discussing the total lack of demons, The Rock's sudden heel turn, and anachronistic videogame products. 

Oh, and don't worry... we spend quite some time talking about THAT little first-person segment. You know the one. 

The Spin-off Doctors: DOOM

Raul Julia's amazing performance, Vega's fabulous features, the war crimes of Van Damme, and also Kylie Minogue for some reason. 

These things and more combine, with some help from DNA MUTAGEN, to make an incredible comedy movie that's just like Rush Hour. 

Street Fighter: The Movie is a prequel narrative based entirely around clothes. It's brilliant. 

The Spin-off Doctors: Street Fighter - The Movie

In what may be their finest outing yet, your Spin-off Doctors skewer Mr. Olyphant's performance as Agent 47 in the ridiculous 2007 Hitman movie. 

Why doesn't the world's best killer have an alias? How has an Interpol agent pieced together the work of a ghost? Exactly what happened to any of the forgotten characters? 

Hitman 2007 isn't just a bad movie, it's infuriating. 

The Spin-off Doctors: Hitman (2007)

Aaron Paul ditches meth for misogyny in this ill-advised theatrical adaptation of Need for Speed. 

It's basically just a car film but with very few races, too many characters, and some of the stupidest character motivations in cinema. 

Also this may be our most meandering episode. The drugs like me. 


The Spin-off Doctors: Need For Speed

Your Movie Boys take their first trip to the Town That Takes, discussing the sexiness of Pyramid Head, the stupidity of our protagonist, and the problems with casting an uncreepy child as a creepy child. 



The Spin-off Doctors: Silent Hill

Complete nonsense. Absolutely, thorough, infuriating nonsense. That's the best way to describe Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. 

It's a shorter running time this week because the film has about ten minutes of plot running through 90 minutes of gibberish. 

Despite that, this is actually one of our most entertaining episodes. A triumph, considering what we were working with. 

The Spin-off Doctors: Final Fantasy - The Spirits Within

Join Jaime Pressly, Holly Valance, and Kevin Nash on DOA Island for one of the most surprising movies we've ever reviewed. 

DOA: Dead or Alive is surprisingly not terrible. In fact, it's actually rather funny. 

The Spin-off Doctors: Dead Or Alive

Dead Rising Watchtower is a strangely faithful film that attempts quite valiantly to be canon. Sort of. 

Rob Riggle steals the show and we learn all about the Internet Movie Firearm Database. 

What a time! 

The Spin-Off Doctors: Dead Rising Watchtower

Lara Croft is a littering, rude, privileged thug. That much we can ascertain from Angelina Jolie's licensed vehicle, Tomb Raider. 

Join your favorite movie boys for a rundown of this ol' movie - one of the better produced, but ultimately less fulfilling films we've gotten to look at. 

The Spin-offDoctors: Tomb Raider

The Last Starfighter comes to us from a simpler time, before Tori Amos took our innocence. 

Let's enjoy this 80s masterpiece, and lament the fate of an arcade playing cosmic doormat.

The Spin-off Doctors: The Last Starfighter

Dr. Isaacs and his mother lived alone in a small house on a hill...

Your favorite Movie Boys are back to look at the third film in the Resident Evil movie franchise... and it's not great. 

Idiot crows, a girl called K-Mart, and the Worst Wesker are all to be found in this wannabe Mad Max.

The Spin-off Doctors: Resident Evil Extinction

Two very confused men pick apart two hours of namedropping and excessive CGI to produce a shambles of a podcast. 

Considering what we were working with, it's amazing how well we pulled through. 

Next episode is Pixels. Help us all.

The Spin-off Doctors: Warcraft

Despite already suffering through the movie once for a special livestream, your movie boys watched Pixels again - sober this time - for a feature-length evisceration. 

Watching it twice without chemical help? It's so, so much worse. 

Enjoy your Thanksgiving punishment, as two distressed men pull Adam Sandler's dumpster fire to pieces while taking time to provide extensive rewrites that would have made it so much better... or at least something.

The Spin-off Doctors: Pixels

The boys go into the diiiiiigital woooorld and see what's happening when computers are evil and stuff.

The Spin-off Doctors: Tron

Audio home of The Jimquisition, featuring its lovely little podcast, Podquisition - starring Jim Sterling, Laura Kate, and Conrad Zimmerman!

The Spin-offDoctors: Tomb Raider

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