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FAVE

"I need somebody who can love me at my worst"

At My Worst

Astrid S - Its Okay If You Forget Me (cover by Kaemii)

A not-so-new original from yours truly that I know a lot of you guys can easily relate to, with regard to our struggles growing old and the times that we wished we could get back to those worry free, younger days. 

"Ang hirap palang tumanda.."

Something I'd also like to call "The Quarter Life Crisis Song"

Bata (Davey Langit Original)

Ako na lang kasi (Original) - *Draft

JBirdFlyy

I don't smoke but I'll probably have to blaze to this, 
just day dreamin when I came across this crazy shit, 
I had a vision of my future I'm in my house alone, 
paranoid I don't trust no one don't call my phone, 
ran away my friends I think they wanna kill me, 
now I get no love from the girls that used to feel me, 
like this I don't want my baby girl to see me, 
I knew it wasn't easy but I'm hard headed, 
I feel death comin now look where I'm headed, 
I think im going crazy where the fuck my head at, 
snap back like damn that ain't right, 
but I'm addicted to this life so I still do it every night, 
the point of no return I'm stuck Standin In the rain, 
I'll be alright if I am married to the game, 
fame without the pain shame but whose to blame, 
it's just me but I ain't ever gonna change,

(Hook 2x)
Lord can you hear me I need you can you hear me, 
I don't know who to trust so my pistols always near me, 
lord can you hear me im Waitin can you hear me, 
Ridin by myself I think somebody tryna kill me,

JBirdFlyy

The worst ain't even hit yet I got a daughter, 
but I don't got a job yet what kinda dad is that, 
not the one I thought I'd be not the one I wanna be, 
not the one I try to be but the game is inside of me, 
always holdin me back thinkin my future is in rap, 
but today music is crap idk where To go with that, 
I'm fighting a losin war but sin is always at my door, 
keep me comin back for more like you won't fail once more, 
fuck I'm back in it again, 
but this time I won't give up this time I'm here to win, 
how many times I said that man it's gotta be like 10, 
I'm fallin in a pit this lifestyle is a myth, 
now I see the curse but I thought it was a gift, 
drink about a 5th and get back to this shit, 
I can't do it alone I need somebody else, 
I need someones hand I need somebody's help,

(Hook 2x)
Lord can you hear me I need you can you hear me, 
I don't know who to trust so my pistols always near me, 
lord can you hear me im Waitin can you hear me, 
Ridin by myself I think somebody tryna kill me,

Dirty J

Demons are in me this pain is killin me,
Memories hauntin me people hatin me,
Yet they don't understand me don't know how it feels,
To fight in this battlefield gotta be I'll,
So we cheat and steal but still my soul,
Bleed misery brain insanity I just can't change,
It feels right to me but I still can sleep,
At night outside there's a threat to my life,

Trouble

Pistol by my side two clips when I ride,
if you cry then you die you know how I fly,
six feet deep got me Rollin in my heap, 
get you in the street Watchin while I creep,
9mm heater Cappin on this track, 
crappin on this rap happenin, 
dabbing your blood wounds while death looms, 
straight goons ten to a dime just like six to a nine straight crime,

(hook 2x)
Lord can you hear me I need you can you hear me, 
I don't know who to trust so my pistols always near me, 
lord can you hear me im Waitin can you hear me, 
Ridin by myself I think somebody tryna kill me,


Lord Can You Hear Me Ft. Dirty J & Trouble(beat by www.rockitpro.com)

I Stay Up All Night

... But it hurts so good [WiP]

1 I Need a Pillow: Could I be deceived? Is there even a chance? Or is it foolish thinking
To question my own stance? Could I be deceived, supposing I’m right, Attaining perfection, evolved to the light? This state of mind they say will make you blind
So I’ll take some time for a review. What have I learned And how do I know that it’s true? The arguing never ceases and Theories seem to confuse. I do what I do because of what the experts say Got to keep pace ’cause it changes by day. So don’t stop me — I’m in a race to be somebody — Unless you can tell me just where to begin. For I am just a man struggling to understand This twisted world I’m living in. The more I figure it out, The more questions fill my answers And this heart gets full of doubt. And I know I’m gonna have to follow Someone like me, who’s as easily deceived By the things he reads, by the things he sees. So where can I rest this head of mine? I need a pillow. How should I judge and what should I think? And who decides what my opinion will be? My choices today are just learned from the past People I’ve trusted, memories I’ve had. Who’s to say I haven’t gone insane, Been hypnotized by a father of lies? Would you listen to me if I had a Ph.D.? Or recorded a song that sold a billion CDs?Suppose I stood behind the pulpit and pew And spoon-fed you what you believed to be true. Are you confused? Join me and the masses  Sitting distracted to care of such things.

2 Am I an Ape?: I came from an amoeba, Mutated into who I see today. From an ape I find my heritage. The world teaches — bleaches — preaches — Their ideas like they were fact. Believe ’em and become their laboratory rat. We call it progress But could this be our fall? Do we really think we write Our own moral laws? We call it progress. Could this be our fall When we think this world is the end of it all? Numbers prove concepts, but not realities. How does one know good and bad, Or one explain humility? What species on this earth discerns The purpose of pain and suffering,
Or knows the hope and joy of birth? Evolution proclaims a facelift for man, A logical, rational void To explain a faithless stand. Theory is an educated guess — it’s faith,
Never a fact, though taught like one. It’s man’s pure speculation: One’s imagination 
Based on the verifiable principle, Which in itself cannot be verified. I say put it to its own test. We call that progress, when it’s man’s biggest joke. Another missing link Turns out to be only a hoax. We call it progress. Could this be our fall When we think this world is the end of it all? We call it progress When progress means turning back to God. 

3 Pictures in the Clouds: I’ve sat with the mockers And joined their parade. I’ve toasted with the devil in my party days. I’ve walked with the sinner hand in hand.
I just wanted more. More of the same. I cursed what was pure in my fallen state.
I robbed the rich to make an easy way. I traded my birthright for a cup of soup.
I foolishly sold What was meant to be mine. And so I declared Bottoms up everyone. Let’s drink ’til we’re drunk And we forget what we’ve done. Pack me another bowl. Let’s be merry, bury our cares And dance with the moon. Am I to die in this despair,
Scared of what’s next, scared to care? Am I to proceed in these tired feet? Not knowing the answer, I’m perfectly deceived. I yelled at the moon trying to read the stars.
I ran around in circles in my own backyard And all I could make out Were pictures in the clouds. I fed my lust to the loss of my innocence, Gave my heart away to the fleeting moment, I used my freedom to indulge in nonsense. And now the memories I have made Have now become my shame.

4 Buried in the Dirt: I’m buried in the dirt, I can’t see any light. I’m wrestling to know just what is real. I’m buried in the dirt, I can’t see the light. Tried to get out but I’m scared to be wrong. Buried in the dirt, my breath is fading fast And I still don’t know who I am. Everything I thought, everything I’ve tried Has left me thirsty, left me dry,
Wandering doubtfully on to what’s next, Searching for something else to stand on,
Just to get by, so tired of it all! I’m buried in the dirt, behind a mask of lies. Would anyone love me if you only knew? I’m buried in the dirt and I’m . . . I’m lost. Buried in the dirt, reached my low There’s nowhere else to go, So with my last cry, I’ll ask one more time. What is all this for? Am I just a waste of time Or is there something more,
Something else I haven’t grasped? The do’s and don’ts of the religious folk Are a heavy yoke that binds me. Yet I keep asking myself What are these forces driving me?
So where do I go, who do I turn to With the question everyone wants to know? Where do I go, who can I turn to? Who can I trust? If You say You’re the Light, show me, speak to me If You’re here, if You can really hear, Then open up these ears of mine and talk to me. I have to know who You are. If You really care, If You’re not just air in my brokenness, If there’s really hope, If there’s really hope buried in the dirt. 

5 Resurrection: What does it take to live each day Out of this shallow grave, Like a treasure waiting to unfold as the Sun peaks its face, and how do I get there? What does it take To give my all in everything I doRather than sit and watch the tube, Feeding on cartoons or the news? Going to church makes me feel good For a day, but the feelings pass And I complain so I must ask, How are they sustained? I think it’s time I start believing Cutting through the lies I think it’s time I start believing Giving up false highs I think it’s time I start believing Running to You, Christ I’ve hid your light behind my fear, Scared, ’cause I just didn’t understand But now I know I can trust in You. You’ll never leave me. So I’m getting out of my chair, I’m getting on my feet,
And I’m taking Your gospel to the streets. You are the way, You are the light. You’re the resurrection And the life. I’ve got a hunger in my heart To see the power of God.
Heard the gospel, read the prophets, Seen the Spirit rule a man. But how do I get there from here? The cost is more than my body wants to make. The cross, it’s heavy, it brings a lot of pain. The desire it burns like a fire for a few days, But the feelings pass and I complain So I must ask, how are they sustained? Vision. 

6 Where it all Begins: So this is when my life begins. Age 20 I drop just who I’ve been.
No more voices yelling worthless words Echoing through unnatural beats in my head.
Seven months sober from the natural herb. Never again — my past life dead. My future I know not what lies ahead. I do know this: It’s not mine, it’s His. And so I go. I’ve got to know, I’ve got to know. Down this road I go. I’ve got to know, so I go. I’ve done it all, I’ve seen too much. There are too many pieces to pick them all up. My worst mistakes I can’t recall, ’cause They happened too fast to catch my own fall. I broke the bong, I cut some ties, I made the choice to set it all aside, For my future I know not what lies ahead. I do know this: It’s not mine, it’s His. These bonds that once had me for so long, They’re in His hands — considered gone. Nothing will hold me back from the Creator. He alone holds what lasts.  

7 Governed by Opinion: As a child I was fashioned With clapping and shame, Tutored by laughing, then came, “Pretend and protect,” for image is everything. As a man I have learned to fit in, not to question. Just give in to save myself from this all-consuming, Dominating fear of embarrassment. This mold, I’m told, it fits me fine.
This mold, I’m told, is to be accepted. “Just become like the norm.” I will not be governed by man’s opinion of me, no. As surely as I sing this song will I walk in freedom. I am well aware your eyes Have been trained for war, But the bondage of those lies Has its hold on me no more. For I am a child of the Most High God, Born by the Spirit who raised Christ from the dead. I know my God, and my God is Love. My hope is in glory, forever with Him. Are you bound by the voices in your head That tell you you’re worthless, You’re better off dead? That put you down before ever rising up?
Take a close look: Those voices are scared, They’re afraid ’cause God’s made a way.
You can make a change and Break those chains and ride on the wind. This mold, you’re told, it fits you fine. This mold, you’re told, is to be accepted. “Just become like the norm.” Do not be governed by man’s opinion of you, no. Sing this song with me, let’s take a walk in freedom. No longer bound by the weight of sin and death When your heart understands There’s no true confidence in the flesh. Now there’s no need to compete, So don’t roll up your sleeves. A man can receive. Only what is given him from heaven. I won’t wait for the trumpet sound. To be released from the grip of the fear of man.

8 Naked:How many times must I fall? How many times must I cast off your comfort?
If not for grace how could I stand? Alone in the dark trying to find Your hand. And I try, oh how I try, to be the child You’ve called Me to be. To rise on eagle’s wings and to soar On the winds of grace. When? Help me. I hate being here, God. I want to run from You So I don’t have to face my own selfish ways. And now I stand here exposed.
I beat my chest here naked and ashamed. I want to run, I want to hide. So I hide.
In my hiding, I heard His voice Whispering His kindness. Who told you you were naked? I did not, I could not, I would not give you shame. My child, you’re blameless. 
Come dance with me.

9 City of God: We are only pilgrims, Sojourners passing through this present age. We’re on a mission, we have no time to waste. These days are getting shorter As darkness increases all around us. It’s the sign of the end of the age; The prophecies will be fulfilled. There’s a purpose we’ve been called to And we will see it through,
For we are of the overcomers Who stand in the faith to the end. It’s time, it’s time, now is the time To stop believing lies, And give your heart to God And set your sights on things above. ’Cause we’re on a journey to the city Whose builder and maker is Jesus Christ. It’s the city of God. We are pressing onward, Walking in the freedom of righteousness. We’ve found our security; We know it can only come through faith.
It’s clear throughout history how God works On behalf of those who trust Him. His Word remains forever — From everlasting to everlasting. There’s a person we can trust in who will see us through. He’ll lead us into victory by the power of His love, by His Spirit and His love. By a covenant made in blood.

01 I Need a Pillow

Someone Like Secrets Magasin (Mashup - Someone Like You / Secrets / Magasin)

I Like You So Much, You'll Know It - A Love So Beautiful OST (English Cover)

(Originally recorded in 2013)

This song came after a real bad attempt of mine to song write after being inspired by Adele's "Someone like you" way back in the day. For some reason, I tried to write a break up song like she does, and thought, this is crap and cliche, what am I doing... I don't even know what love is. Ha ... and thereafter, this song was birthed.

I hope it reaches those who have felt like this, and if it inspires you to live a little and open up if that's what you need to do, then that's cool!

I've since learned that love is awesome and heartbreak is the worst. So take care, my friend! xx


I have yet to hold somebody’s hand
To be wrapped up in arms like a blanket
And although it’s not something I planned
I couldn’t say that I fought against it

I’m miss easy to talk to, hard to get close to
Keeping to myself so I never get to know you
And so nobody can get to know me

I, I don’t know what love is
I’ve never had that feeling
That everybody else has had
But you, you will meet me someday
Or maybe I know you
Just haven’t known you that way
Yet

I’ve never looked deep into someone’s eyes
Long enough to see my reflection
But I’ve never known heartbreak or lies
Or the devastation of rejection

I’m miss always into someone, never with anyone
Always been that way so I never hurt anyone
And so nobody can hurt me

But I know, that if I try
To live a little, trust a little, love a little, I
Might find I’ve got a lot
To give, and in return
Somebody will yearn for me too
So tell me if that somebody is you

Cos I, I wanna know what love is
I wanna have that feeling
That everybody else has had
Can you, can you meet me someday
And if I know you
Won’t you get to know me that way
Yeah

from When Outspoken, Sing., released March 11, 2014
All Songs written by Ali Xanda copyright 2014

Album Credits

Ali Xanda - Lead vocals and harmonies
Andrew Harray - Drums, Percussion, Harmonies, Synths and Pianos
Joseph van der Hurk - Guitars and bass

Mixed and Produced by Joseph van der Hurk and Andrew Harray
Recorded and mastered at Dancing Fox Studios, Dunedin.
all rights reserved

When Outspoken, Sing.

I Don't Know What Love Is

Guitar, Keyboard, Vocals by Lee Grane
Mixed by Roy del Valle 
Recorded at Noisy Neighbors

Kaya (Rough Mix)

Price Tag Jessie J

ROMEO TAKE ME (LOVE STORY) [Tekno Cover] Lyn Lapid Ft. Dj Rowel TikTok Remix 2020

Ako na lang kasi (Original) - *Draft

Marie

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