soft clipper (prod. 4reetank)

Thought Streams

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secret chuck freestyle 1

early morning hallucination

scatterbrained//waste(dusk)

DISCLAIMER: Im not suicidal/homicidal. I have my bouts, but just like most feelings, they pass. I wrote this during a bad day while driving to work, the inspiration for this song. All is fine now. Regardless, I feel obligated to express these emotions as a catharsis of all stress and underlying mental ills. The sooner you can express these emotions, the sooner you can identify such and have self-acceptance as well as be receptive of the acceptance of others. If you feel you're suffering from any mental illness such as depression, please express this either with a close friend, family member or any trusted outlet for venting. When you release all held burdens, you shall be open to all blessings. Thank you for listening.

Produced, Mixed, and Mastered by John Deaf

Lyrics:
I should've died in my sleep I don't know why I should breathe
I should've choked on the rice last night when I decided to breathe
I should rush the lights full speed when I drive down the street cause vehicular homicide then I drive into a tree
I should write about my morning depression and make it rhyme on a beat
get sympathy so people can start being kinder to me
but unfortunately I don't like nobody bothering me so being isolated is the only feasible option I see
I should stab my ears with the nearest pen every time I hear my alarm
I should turn on the car engine get it revvin' when im in the garage 
inhale the exhaust while im turning pale and I start to cough and im lost in the smog hallucinating as im talking to god
When I get to my job im shooting the bitch that test me for corona then im choking the bakery clerk and register her as an organ donor 
Does the mouth count? I don't know but im ripping it off
shit on it and ill use the tongue to lick it all off 
I get real down when I wake up into the same ol plain world where nothing is new
Everyday is the same that's passing me it's the textbook definition of insanity 
Imma cuckoo that flew over the nest 
I need a shrink I don't know what im gonna do next 
im on the brink of wrapping a noose over my neck kick the stool wriggle like an eel losing my breath 
Grab the kitchen knife and stab you in your fucking throat
Brain your fucking skull cause I really want to know what it feels like to have a piece of mind (Peace of mind)
cause every morning that's something I leave behind
I runaway to the edge of the earth baby whenever I see the morning sun
I wanna get a needle sew together my eyelids so I'll never see the morning come never
Hot flashes of shotgun dreams click clack pow show my thoughts for you to see
I want a dirt slumber that I can revert under stone pillow and a blanket of grass I aint gonna last
My bones can't take it no mo my truest feelings won't show Im baking in the hell stove im biting down the shell toes
I just might be the sickest fuck off them all
Gonna call out from my work no show at my job
Imma slob imma freak imma dirty ass dog imma zero not a hero im a reject from god
imma worm on the ground drying out in the sun im the shit of the earth imma hot loaded gun
imma bore imma sigh imma fatherless child imma chemical imbalance imma murderous smile
imma untied shoe and im ready to trip imma half-way empty bucket that im ready to kick

Chorus:
Every every every everyday every every every every night
its another tv episode of my sad twisted crumbling pathetic life
every every every every way every every every everywhere
I don't see the meaning why I should live cause there Aint no real reason and I don't care

John Deaf - What I Think About Everytime I Wake Up (Remastered)

winter sun

WICKED HARDCORE JUNGLISM [BABYLON SPLEEFED OUT MIX]

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_definitive/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/John_Definitive
Bandcamp: https://johndeaf.bandcamp.com

Prod, Mixed and Mastered by John Deaf

John Deaf - In Cells (Version 1)

Definitively me

Email: johndeadlock6@gmail.com