before in a more optimistic past. when positivity ran amok 

ring ring 
7 days till you shi-ne (die)
yes i am sadako stop breathing
no i'm not a bloody man i'm a cat
*nyan*
get clawed to death
mutilation next
then i eat your liver
but it tastes like shit 
put it in my litter box where it's supposed to be
then wear your finger bones like some cute earrings
peel your skin like a mask 
ed gein Inspired

then i'm feeling wired up
cause I'm fuckin fired up
time to kill some more humans before my time is up
who gon' pick up the phone when it ring rings
i just really wanna come out your LED screen

*random noises*

then i'm feeling wired up
cause i'm fuckin fired up
time to kill some more humans before my time is up
who gon' pick up the phone when it ring rings
i just really wanna come out your LED screen

ring ring (ringu) (prod. 510)  [untitled_-0001]]

@skotskr
art by @visual.impulse on IG

i'm the only one safe with me
i put it in my lungs every day i need peace
and i do it to myself so it may be me
and maybe we should save the speech

yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh yeh
confirmation
na na na na na na
reservation
i don't have no obligation
nor is there the patience
all of yall keep waitin on

i am on the edge

i've now convinced every single one i'm ok
so dont be so surprised when the day comes i go away
i am on the edge gotta weigh my options
how does happiness get away so often
given up the search for a painless way to off myself

pick the rifle up
put the barrel in
i aint scared of it
its my therapy

confirmation (prod. skotskr)

Hook:
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why

Verse1:
You had changed me for the better
And now your gone
You run away from your problems
You are so lost
I wish I could reach out and help you
But you cut me off
And idk where to find you

Hook:
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why

[untitled 010]] [second part]]

#XTREMETRAP i love you guys, thank you for being here...

XT CYPHER - W/ LICH TYCOON X HHPBABYG X REJECTEDREYNA X KAMATAYAN X YUMISOCUTE - (PROD. ABI X PTRCK)

Hop out the whip I got rings like Saturn
Around my eyes like what is the plan
They won't let me cross the pond I'm sitting like "damn"
How I'm supposed to make this work for me & my fam

The seasons is changing
Hop out the bus in London I feel like I'm racing
I know I struggle with drinking
Open the can & I sit on my problems regardless of thinking

I know I'll do better, I know I'll be better
Only when the seasons change

Hop on the stage you know there's a split
That ain't me baby the shit I equip
Trauma I live in, express it to fans
Dream big one day I'll get on the van

Still a nobody with Marric cuz he is the mans
project soon that shit on demand
I don't talk too much that's why I have no friends
Stay in my room how I make my bands

But I'll do better, I know I'll be better
Only when the seasons change

SEASONS

would you miss me

Music Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y31Mr2VJJ3o
idk
Download: johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/no-theme
second half with guitars done by yours truly

I'm so sick
I'm so tired
Mouth is shut
Mouth is wired
Cut ya self from the truth
Always listen to to the liars
Humans are disgusting
They are rusty
They are musty
Degenerate slime get away from me
I can't comprehend
How ya fidget through your team
Get out of my life just like my wisdom teeth
And you running out of time and you running out of-
Vigaro Vigaro through my eyes you can see the whole
And travel the burrows of everything sorrow
'77 the Hausu welcome to heaven
The flashbacks up to vietnam
And everything see a cong
Don't lie don't breathe stop talking to me (repeated)

Don't lie
Don't breathe
Stop talking to me
(inaudible shit)
(inaudible word) eternity
Top of reality
You can't fathom me
I will shatter you
I will a splatter you
On the floor and walls
You just fall and fall down

the middle east

Falling Babylon (Prod. CXRPSE)

idk
Download: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/no-theme

No Theme

Before The Rave (Interlude)

First half prod sae
Second half with guitar by yours truly

Demigods Do Not Love Humans (but it sounds like demigods do not love you lol)
The young demigod was never supposed to
(repeated)

Fuck Love
The Young Demigod does not love a human

When I look into her eyes
I see my entire life
And i live on to the age
And I'll die with her someday
But it was all a lie
A beautiful of a lie
Demigods do not love a human(x4)

Demigods Do Not Love Humans

Demigods Do Not Love Humans (Prod. sae & JOHNNASCUS)

guess this nigga johnnascus putting his throwaway ass songs on here too bruh smh

Wasting life just turning
I'm a wheel forever churning
No thinking, just motion

feel like a cog in the machine

Feel like a cog in the machine
Work a 9-5
Man my life just has no meaning
Disposable to the rich fucks
Work from check to check
I can never get my money up
Hate to worry 'bout money
Trapped in materialist society
None of this even excites me
I feel dead inside no fighting

Feel like a cog in the machine (×4)
Wanna die they won't need me
I could die they won't see me
Replaceable in the machine (×2)
Feel like a cog in the machine (×4)
End it all but the machine (×4)
Will continue to be cogging

johnnascus - cog in the machine (prod. james gorczyca) [untitled_0021]]

[new album when?]]

Verse1:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
My time is fading (yea)
Soul is waning (yea)
Feeling mainy (yea)
Foggy Cranium
My younger self would hate the person that ive become
Losing rhythm, can't find the beat to my own drum
This world ain't for me, or maybe I don't wanna grow up
But what's growing up? Cause I don't wanna have my soul crushed.

Verse2:
I want to live a life outside this system
Travel to a world outside the solar system
& dance to my rhythm

Verse3:
Still fucked up in the head
Try to make folks accept me
Even if they don't care about me
Maybe it's cause I don't care myself
Wanna be ignored to dig deeper in the well
In The Well
IN THE WELL
In the fucking well I just drown myself in despair
Look at the world the it's so far from here
I'm sinking in my own
Can't climb the walls
It is getting darker
There are no walls
See the lights spotters
In my own thoughts
Cannot move, I'm faltered.

Verse4:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
(repeated)

Verse5:
I'm not special
& No one really is
And the glass half empty 
Pessimistic little bitch
Always feel so envy
Towards every human
Don't wanna feel this empty
And prolonged sadness
What's the point of working
If it leads to nothin
What's the point of something
If there's no fulfillment
Why is life important if I didn't choose it
There's no point of living here if you cannot move it
Move the world, change the world
I can do that in this viddy game, save the world
Get the girl
Live a life, of peace & adventuring
Make a mistake, can go back to where it saved me
"Speaking of saving"

Checkpoint:
21 years old. I feel like I've wasted the past 4-5 years of my life & there's always this feeling that everything I have now will soon be gone. I've been making music for the past 5 years, and I still don't know at times if this is what I want to do. I feel like I'll just be forgotten in the next few years. people and friends I have now will soon just forget about me. I feel like I can't even form good connections with people because I'm in my head too much. somedays I just wake up and the day is already over. I feel trapped in life, and don't know what to do. somedays I just want to end it all but tell myself things will get better. I just don't want to live a life of misery. I can't really open up to people about how I honestly feel a lot of the time cause I think I'll just end up being a type of burden to them. so I'm just expressing stuff here. I hope I can find a purpose in life or just something that brings me long term happiness + fulfillment. I don't want to kill myself or live an a autonomous, autopilot, dead life.

Save file:
June 23, 2020
6:36 AM
Bedroom